The sun was slipping in through the window in a way similar to water, gushing and streaming and falling onto everything and anything in it's way. It gently flowed over and warmed the face of the sleeping male and the hand that rested next to him.
Topaz eyes regarded the sleeping figure with such intensity that it was a wonder the other hadn't been able to feel it even in his dreams. The light that fell so perfectly onto the sleeping figure seemed to miss the man next to him completely, instead leaving him in the dark chill of the shadows.
He could easily move closer to the other and get in the warm light of the morning sun, but that would lay the risk of waking the other; that was the last thing he wanted.
He could settle to lie in the dark if it meant even a few more seconds of having the sleeping angel next to him. Just watching the way that the light seemed to soften the features of him, highlighting his chestnut hair and cheek bones, it left the older man in a state of temporary bliss. Even his eyelashes seemed to sparkle as they lay gentle on his cheeks.
He could see the way that hidden emerald eyes moved rapidly beneath lids, as if his dream was either of something terrifying, or beautiful; the man hoped it was the later.
His soft pink lips were parted slightly, allowing his breathing to come through like near silent whispers. The man was tempted to lean closer to try and listen, to see if his name laid in the others breath.
Did the sleeping figure dream of him?
Did he dream of their past?
Of their future?
Did he dream of how they could be now?
How they could be if the younger would only give in, to let the man hold and love him and to treat him so kindly?
These were all things that the elder dreamed of.
But he also had nightmares.
Terrible terrible nightmares where he was alone and in the dark, not a sound was present except his own breathing; it echoed like drips of water in the darkness, filling and filling the space until it made him believe he was drowning.
It was a nightmare like that that had woken him up that morning. Except instead of breathing, it was words. Four simple words that seemed to echo against the nonexistent walls and bounce around in his head.
"Do you love me?"
The soft and sweet voice that he had known so well, spoke to him.
It would get more distorted with each repeat, slowly getting louder and louder and heavier and heavier until it filled his lungs and stacked in his throat.
He knew those words, he knew that voice, he knew what happened after those words had been said.
How he had messed up.
How alone he became.
It was that which caused him to sit up in a panic of cold sweat and heavy breathing and to look scared at the figure next to him, afraid that he was in another dream and that with even the lightest of touches, the man he yearned for would be gone.
It had taken him almost ten minutes to work up the courage to slowly and lightly place his hand over the one on the pillow. It wasn't until he felt the warmth of the flesh and heard the soft steady breathing that came through parted lips, did he allow himself to breath properly and begin to lie back down.
His hand stayed there on top of the others, just sitting and feeling his warmth.
It was there he laid for another hour, watching the slow and steady rise of the chest and the way that his face was slowly being outlines by the rising sun. He knew that when the other woke up it would be hell.
He could panic and act in a fury, rushing to get away from the one man that seemed to break down all of his walls but just wanted to love him unconditionally.
That man slowly rubbed his thumb over the back of the soft pale hand, leaning his head into that pool of light as to ever so slightly press his lips upon that of his sleeping loves.
The words from his nightmare echoed in his head, leaving a question that still needed to be answered.
He lightly breathed out his next words, soft and careful and sweet with a silent prayer that they would make it into his dream.
"I do love you."
"I have always loved you, Ritsu."