Lois

Now:

Lois watched as the receiving line assembled itself just inside the ballroom reserved for the reception. The second saber arch had been an interesting touch and Lois had caught the threatening look the bride had shot at one of the young officers. She'd chuckled quietly at the look of terror on the young man's face. Trust timid ol' Clark to get hitched to a woman who could make pilots blanch with a look.

Mother of the bride, father of the bride, the bride, the groom, mother of the groom, maid of honor, best man. Clark and Bruce were by far the tallest, towering over everyone else. Lois noted that Clark wasn't slouching at all as he greeted the guests coming through the line and there was no trace of the stammering timidity she had associated with him for so long. His tuxedo was as impeccably tailored as Bruce Wayne's. How long has Clark known the Prince of Gotham? The man hates the press. But he's a friend of Clark's.

Lois took a moment to study Clark, and his new bride. At the ceremony, Lois had mostly an impression of the bride. An impression of a fairy tale princess in satin and Irish lace. On closer look, the bride – Esther? – was still a fairy tale princess. High cheekbones, perfect peaches and cream complexion, blonde hair pulled into a French braid, blue eyes, almost as blue as Clark's eyes. Had Clark's eyes always been so impossibly blue?

Richard took her elbow, interrupting her observation of the newlyweds. Perry was already shaking General Straker's hand. Lois had to hurry to keep up with Richard as he joined the line. She heard him murmur introductions, congratulations.

Then it was Lois's turn to run the gauntlet.

"I'm Elizabeth Straker, Esther's mother," the mother of the bride said. Lois couldn't even guess her age, but there was little doubt as to where Esther got her looks. The woman was stunning, bringing to mind Deborah Kerr and Maureen O'Hara.

"Lois Lane-White," Lois introduced herself. "Clark's partner when he was at the Daily Planet."

"Ah, yes," Elizabeth said with a smile. Lois wondered what, if anything, Clark had told them about her. She was afraid to ask, afraid to find out what Clark really thought of her after what she'd done to him.

"General Edward Straker, Esther's father," the father of the bride said with a smile. "Lois Lane, right?"

Lois nodded.

"I enjoy reading your work," he said.

"Thank you," Lois responded. Few people remembered who wrote the articles they liked. "Maybe we can talk when we both get back to Metropolis."

"Maybe," Straker said. "We'll see."

On to the bride. "Congratulations," Lois told her. "I hope you realize what a catch you made."

"I know," Esther assured her. But there was, maybe, too much self-assurance there. What does she know that I missed? She moved on.

"Congratulations, Clark," Lois said. "I mean that."

"Thank you, Lois," Clark responded. "By the way, she's a pilot, and she doesn't much like horror movies."

"Touché," Lois murmured. "I guess I deserved that." She took a deep breath, trying to gauge his mood, his reaction. Once upon a time, I wouldn't have worried about how he'd react. "Before you and Esther leave today, Richard and I need to talk to you."

"What about?"

"Jason, and Superman."

Then:

"Lois, please believe me when I tell you I never would have left if I'd known you were pregnant," Superman told her.

"Do you mind telling me how that happened?" Lois asked. She was trying not to be angry with him, trying not to snap at him. But too much had happened. He had disappeared for more than five years then come back, apparently expecting everything to have stayed the same for him, that the world would forgive his betrayal.

The world might forgive him. But she wasn't sure she could. She thought she might be able to when she saw him wounded but still flying into battle, flying away from her to save the world. She thought she might be able to when he fell to earth and she thought he was dying. She told him Jason was his son. It was the least she could do for the man who'd single-handedly saved billions of lives.

He looked nervous as he regarded her, the two of them standing on the roof of the Daily Planet. He wouldn't meet her eyes. "I thought I could have you. I thought I could live as a 'normal' man, have a 'normal' life. I thought wrong, and when I tried to make it right, allow you to go back to your life without remembering what happened, I made it so much worse. You told me you couldn't take having to share me with the world, never being able to tell anyone about us. It never occurred to me anything more could have happened. I didn't think it was possible."

"You didn't think? Well, that part is right," she spat. "You decided to allow me to go back to my life, you decided without consulting me?"

"You said it was killing you," he told her. The regret in his voice was palpable. "I thought I was doing what you wanted. I didn't know about Jason. It never occurred to me."

"It never occurred to you?" Lois found herself screaming. "We have sex and you decide I don't need to remember it? How do I know that I even agreed to it? How do I know you didn't rape me?"

He actually went white at her accusation. She didn't care.

"I would never do that," he said. His voice was shaking. "You know that."

"Do I?" she told him. "You decided I didn't need to remember, that I didn't have a need to know what happened between us. You decided."

"I would never have left if I had known," he started again. Was he crying? Superman was crying?

"You wouldn't have left if you'd known I was pregnant?" she asked. "I wasn't enough to keep you here? The fact that we, apparently, were lovers wasn't enough?"

He had nothing to say to that. And that made her even angrier. He didn't care enough to fight back? The most powerful man on the planet couldn't be bothered to defend himself.

"You forfeited your right to my son when you left on your little adventure," she told him. "I've agreed to marry Richard. We've set the date. He's a good man. He's been here for Jason and me. He'll be here. You won't."

She ignored the pain in his eyes. "I don't need you in my life. Jason doesn't need you."

"And when his powers come in?"

"I'll worry about that when it happens. Just leave us alone."

Lois took a deep breath to calm her nerves as she stood outside the office door. Barbara Lassiter, family psychology, the brass nameplate read. She wanted a cigarette, but she didn't have any with her. This was her second week without a smoke. She'd been told it would get easier, the cravings would pass – so far it wasn't getting easier.

She opened the door into the beige and brown reception area. The inner door opened and a short, matronly woman stepped into the doorway.

"Missus White, I presume," the woman said. "I'm Doctor Lassiter."

Lois followed Doctor Lassiter into the inner office. Richard and Jason were already there, waiting.

"I told you I'd make it once the story was in," Lois told them. There was an odd mixture of relief and fear on Richard's face, as though he'd been afraid to hope she'd been telling him the truth this time.

Lois took a moment to look around the office Richard and Jason had spent every Wednesday night at for the past six weeks. It was comfortable. An overstuffed sofa, three upholstered chairs, a small desk was set against the wall by the window. The color scheme was pale green and beige. A couple of innocuous landscapes graced the walls.

"Let's get started," Lois announced, settling down in one of the chairs. Richard and Jason were already seated on the sofa. Jason's hair was in his face, over his glasses. When did Jason start wearing glasses? He had perfect vision on his last check-up. Lois gestured to her own reading glasses, still on their chain around her neck.

"His last checkup showed Irlen's syndrome," Richard explained, obviously catching her meaning. "The glasses help. Besides, it was a recommendation from his biological father."

"You told me Jason's father was unavailable," Lassiter reminded him.

"Jason's father is unavailable," Richard said. "He's a public figure and he can't ever claim paternity. For him to acknowledge that he had a relationship with Jason's mother, no matter how brief, would be catastrophic for all three of them."

"You know that anything you tell me will be held in the strictest confidence," Lassiter said, looking from Richard to Lois.

"Let's just leave it, okay, Doctor?" Richard said. "Jason's biological father can not be brought into this."

"Richard, how…?" Lois asked.

"I'll tell you later," Richard promised. "In the meantime, let's work on us."

"Is there an us?" Lois asked.

"We won't know unless we try."

"Okay, spill it," Lois demanded as soon as the three of them got into the house. "Jason has Irlen's syndrome, needs glasses? And his biological father is a public figure? I thought we were agreed that Clark was his father, even though I don't remember it."

"Lois, I seriously doubt Clark Kent's son would have super hearing, or x-ray vision," Richard shot back.

"What?"

"Lois, his powers are starting to develop," Richard told her. "His hearing kicked in and he was screaming. I got hold of Clark and he got hold of Superman to help Jason."

"And you never told me?" Lois was beyond furious.

"You never told me I was raising Superman's son," he reminded her. "What else haven't you told me?"

"Richard, honest to God, I thought we'd be able to handle it," she said earnestly. "I mean, I didn't even realize there was something else going on until that incident on the Gertrude. He threw a grand piano across the room. I still don't know exactly how I ended up pregnant with his child, or how Clark was involved in all of it."

"So, what do you want to do?"

"Richard, I married you. You're the man I chose to marry, the man I agreed to spend the rest of my life with," Lois told him. Please believe me.

"Lois, what do you want to do?" Richard repeated.

"We do what we have to," Lois said. "We keep going."

"And what about Clark?" he asked.

"What about him?" Lois asked.

"Are you ever going to tell him he isn't Jason's father?" Richard asked. "That he's been shouldering the blame for something Superman did? You know that Jason still asks when he's going to come back."

"Richard, we both know Clark Kent isn't coming back to Metropolis," Lois told him. "He's out of Jason's life, out of my life. He has his own life to live, and it doesn't include any of us."

So why does he show up in my dreams? Why is it Clark I see in the crystal palace and not Superman?