I actually ended up listening to some Gaga when writing this hahahaha xD

But Ghost by Mystery Skulls is definitely the most fitting song for this...Light definitely "might just disappear" hahahaha

Yeah so this chapter took a lil bit of Monday night and LOTS of tonight to write...I took the ACT today hahaha...or I guess technically yesterday...blahhhh

*rating goes up to M* ;D

...

It was nine o'clock, and Watari had just left the hotel room. All day, Light had been acting quite strangely. And yet, not in a suspicious way. No; his character was entirely different than before. Before his imprisonment, one could sense his underlying smugness and theatrical desire for justice. Now, he was more pure, more real, more truly integrious like his father. Whatever evil that seemed to boil below his skin had diminished; hence my hunch that perhaps Kira could transfer power from person to person at will. After all, a similar effect had also appeared to take place in Misa Amane at nearly the same time.

Anyway, Light would hopefully let me take a shower now. Cleanliness was essential; I had always thought so. I supposed it would be nice to be at my cleanest state before slumber, but what was the point of such a thing if I was not also at my cleanest state the night before?

In any case, I dragged Light to the bathroom.

"Hold on, Ryuzaki. Let me get my stuff." Light protested. The college student had retrieved his bag from his father, so I suppose it would be interesting to find out what was in there. But that could wait.

"My apologies. Everything I need is already in the bath." I had quite a set-up in there, in fact.

"Hey, I have a question." Light suddenly inquired.

"Hm?"

"Um, exactly how much do you rely on Watari?" Oh. I suppose anyone would be curious.

"I relied far more on him in the past. I can explain if you'd like."

"Sure, go ahead."

"Alright then. Watari was the one who took me in and cared for me; my surrogate father." I didn't want to discuss the years before Watari came to my aid. Those times were pushed to the very back of my mind, but they were also composed of many vivid flashbulb memories. "I had managed to survive before his care, but I was nonetheless hardly able to function normally. Watari's dedication to assisting me as well as his many resources and inventions helped me in daily routines." I paused.

"What kind of inventions?" Light asked curiously.

"Ah, well, my favorite was probably his 'human washer.' I didn't even have to bother cleaning myself, all I had to do was sit in it." Light busted out a chuckle.

"Like a washing machine? That's interesting." he affirmed. "But you can take real showers now?"

"Well, of course, Light. I've become much more independent from Watari in the past three years." I retorted, holding my cool tone but feeling a bit embarrassed on the inside. "I had no choice; in case something unfortunate happens to him, I must be prepared to continue on in his absence." This was not something I wanted to think about; I was eternally grateful to Watari for his services and everything good he brings to the world. In many ways, I was not justice at all, but Watari was the very definition of justice.

"Oh, I understand." Light said. "I truly admire Watari. He really is the definition of justice, isn't he?" Oh. There it was. Yes, Light had read my mind, but that was inevitable. What I found more striking was the way Light said such a sentence...in the past, his eyes would have played games with me, would have appeared to glow red...he would seem to be teasing, taunting me that he was justice and I was just a stick in the mud, worthless, another pawn to be eliminated in his quest for world domination.

This was not Kira, however. This was merely the college student Light Yagami, and his eyes held a captivating sparkle, innocent and wondrous. This man, this possibly innocent man, was the only person in my life to match my intellectual level...I was lucky to be tied together with him, to be "friends" with him.

And now I would get to take a shower with him. Somehow my insecurities heightened more than ever before; I was truly nervous now...but the exact feeling could not be explained, at least not with logic. But at least I had a certain advantage...

...

Okay, this was finally it. Finally. But damn, what am I thinking? I haven't felt like this in months...no, I haven't had issues with animalistic hormones since my depression onset during sophomore year...I dated women only for the experience, and not for sexual reasons...sure, thinking back to it, the fact that L held me in prison, cameras watching my every move, somehow now seems almost alluring, but in the moment I know I felt incredibly chaste and even repressed.

Since the morning, I had managed to calm down and focus completely whilst working with the Task Force members, but now that it was just L and me, that feeling I had this morning returned without restraint. I listened to L with fascination; the topic of his past was weird, but it was just impossible to have negative thoughts about him right now.

But why? Why the hell didn't I feel like this before? Was it the chain that connected us, perhaps? Was it a trick? After all, just looking at the handcuff on my left hand made me feel a bit turned on - the thought of being bonded to L like this was just...

Before yesterday, I hadn't a single perverse perspective of L. He was my intellectual equal, and suspected me and Misa to be Kira, and that was all. But new feelings just kept swarming my systems every second I looked at him, and it was almost unfair.

No, no...it wasn't L, it was just me, wasn't it? My hormones are spinning out of control and, in my situation, L is my only outlet for their desires.

I took a deep breath. I couldn't let my body get the best of me. I had a disciplined character, and it might heighten L's suspicions in the case that I lost control.

"What's wrong, Light?" L suddenly asked. I broke out of my trance. "You've been staring at me for the past-"

"Oh! Sorry, Ryuzaki. Let's turn on the water now." I said too quickly.

"Well, in that case we should probably undress first." L pointed out. I felt heat rush to my face. Ugh! Calm down! I changed into new clothes this morning, but we faced away from each other...there was some difficulty in changing with the handcuff on, but it was doable. If I wore a shirt with tighter cuffs it would be much worse, so I would try to avoid that for now.

"Ha, of course!" I replied lightly, trying to pretend I wasn't deathly nervous. I turned around, but what was the point? We were going to see each other anyway!

"Light, I know you're insecure, but if it makes you feel better-" L started.

"I'm not insecure, Ryuzaki. It's fine." I proved my point by unbuttoning my shirt more quickly and sliding it off, though my flushed face contradicted my words.

"Well, I was just going to say that I have already seen you in all states of undress." L continued. "But I'm sure you already know that, since you're aware of the fact that cameras were installed in your home for some time." Oh, damn! L was lying to me. I had been strategic in how I changed my clothing during that period of time, and the cameras were not installed in view of any showers or toilets. L surely never saw me in anything less than my undergarments. And I never engaged in any personal sexual behavior besides my fabricated search through men's magazines. Why had I done that again? I couldn't remember. But those magazines certainly did not catch my interest. Nonetheless, the way L said he "had already seen" me made my confidence drop even lower. I turned around to face him as he was pulling his shirt off of his head. I was going to say something but my breath temporarily caught in my throat. I swallowed heavily, trying my best to focus on L's face and internally screaming at my dick to stop getting excited.

"Erm, of course I knew about those cameras. I was a bit embarrassed, so I never undressed completely where I thought the cameras were." I managed to say. L tilted his head.

"You are correct, though I do wonder how you knew exactly where the cameras were." Now that L mentioned it, I'm not sure how I knew. I suppose I searched for them in curiosity.

"I was curious, honestly, so I searched for them and found 64 in my room." L's eyes widened in disbelief.

"You are correct again, but I don't recall ever seeing you searching for the cameras..." What? I guess he was trying to trip me up. I shrugged.

"You probably just don't remember." I felt bad saying it. L didn't forget things, after all. I turned around again in self-consciousness and began to take off my pants. My heart was hammering inside my chest, made worse by the perplexity of this conversation. But it still wasn't as bad as the real reason I was so nervous. Ugh, I really had to strip naked in front of L, anything else would just be strange. Just keep your eyes up. Eyes up.

"Strange, but I suppose it would be expected of you to search for the cameras that were invading your privacy..." L concluded. There were more loopholes for sure. For example, why would I look in the magazines if I knew about the cameras? I didn't know. My memory from that time was extremely fuzzy for some reason.

I heard L's pants heavily drop to the floor, accompanied by a lighter sound seconds later. So I finally slid my boxers off my legs, mind hurting from the pressure of the situation. L was probably staring at my ass right now. Great. What I couldn't figure out was if this would be less difficult if I wasn't horny right now. No, it would still be difficult, because I didn't particularly want the great L to see my in my most vulnerable state. At least I wasn't fat, right? No, I was underweight. Was that worse? Was I too skinny? Stop thinking about it! Wait, L might be underweight too...

...

"Let's go, Light." L said softly. I picked up my materials and walked immediately into the shower. God, this sucks! There was no way L was interested in me or doing anything with me. He was probably asexual. And yet, I swear that the way he looked at me and spoke this morning was somehow utterly perverted. I had probably just imagined it, however. Every instinct screamed at me to turn around and do something, anything, but I forced myself instead to place my stuff down and turn on the water. Fearing that hot water could turn me on even more, I made it merely lukewarm. "Hm? You don't like the water to be hot?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you might prefer it this way." I lied through my teeth.

"That's quite alright. Make it however hot you wish." L assured. Feeling pressured, I turned the water up until it was almost scalding. "Yes, that's fine." Luckily I was the one directly under the stream, so I quickly wet my hair and then turned it further out to reach L, getting out of his way. Then I reached for my shampoo and began thoroughly lathering it deep into my scalp. I couldn't ignore the fact that L was right behind me. It seemed like his eyes were burning into my back, but that somehow managed to arouse me even more. The steam from the shower was already getting to me, too, and I focused as hard as I could on washing my hair.

"Are you okay, Light?" L asked, breaking the dead silence. It shocked me and for a second I feared slipping on the wet shower floor. I was okay, though, and I tried to keep composed.

"Of course. Why do you ask, Ryuzaki?" I replied smoothly. At least as smoothly as I could in this situation.

"You've been washing your hair for roughly three minutes. That's starting to be too long. I'm sure you don't want to strip your hair of the nutrients it needs." L stated. "If you need help, just ask me." My breath hitched at those last words, sending a torrent of blood headed straight south. Okay, so I definitely couldn't turn around now. L pushed the shower stream back to where it would hit me. I was silently grateful as I tried to come up with something coherent to reply with.

"It's called conditioner, Ryuzaki." I pointed out confidently. Uuuughhhhh. I washed out the shampoo and in confirmation poured out some conditioner, running it through my hair next. But my mind kept repeating that one phrase. If you need help, just ask me. Hell yes, L, please help me. I just...if we could get involved, maybe it would make this whole thing easier...if we became familiar with each other's bodies...right? God, I'm literally making excuses for my hormones. This was so awkward! How the hell was I going to wash the rest of my body? I didn't have a goddamn washcloth or loofah or anything, and L was probably going to make fun of me for it. I rinsed the conditioner out of my hair, and L decided to speak up. I knew it.

"Light, would you mind washing my back?" Oh god. I wasn't expecting that. Um. No, I really wasn't expecting that. L, why did you have to ask that? Why why why?

"No, I wouldn't mind." I tried to keep my voice level, but I probably failed. Now I had to turn around. I looked over my shoulder, trying to keep my eyes up, but I still had to look at L. In all his glory. Fuck. His skin was glowing a robust pink in the steamy air and his wet hair clung closely to his face and neck in quite possibly the most attractive way possible, his eyes looking up from behind the soaked locks with what seemed to be a mix of carnal and innocent intentions. Drops of water ran down his body with torturous languidity and I couldn't help but notice his defined, elongated clavicle presenting below it an overly appealing chest and torso. My heart beat ever faster and my mind suggested that I pounce at him. Right now. Resistance was nearly futile, but I held myself back with all my might. L shyly turned around, revealing an unfairly alluring backside. I exhaled and faced him, eyes flicking to a bottle of red shower gel standing on the corner of the shower.

I carefully reached around him while desperately trying to avoid getting too close. Looking down, my erection was in dangerous proximity to L's rear. I averted my eyes to avoid seeing past his torso - the sight was all too much to handle already. With shaking hands, I poured some of the strawberry gel onto my hand and pulled back, preparing myself to wash L's back. Oh god, I could really touch him. Finally, I rubbed the soap onto his skin, lathering up suds and getting both hands involved. I stroked his shoulder blades and worked them in a circular motion, feeling the sharp bones subtly relax at the touch. I went over his tantalizingly visible spine and L emitted a high-pitched noise that went directly to my groin. Could it be...? No. Did L just...moan? No way. There's no way I just made him moan. I whimpered a bit too loudly at the thought and felt L jump slightly at the sound. I moved my hands to the base of his neck and squeezed lightly, massaging the area there. We didn't exchange any words as I washed the rest of his back. When I was done my hands reluctantly vacated his skin.

"I can wash your back too if you'd like." L quickly offered. Panicking slightly, I turned around again to avoid L's potential gaze.

"Do what you want." Oh god, that didn't come out right at all. Hopefully he wouldn't take it in the wrong way. I mean, hopefully he would take it in the wrong way. God, I don't know. But then I felt L's long fingers on my back, working suds into my skin and massaging deeply to the point where it almost hurt. I could no longer control my breathing and was on the brink of hyperventilating. It was getting way too difficult to hold back. L's hands moved lower and lower on my back and a choked moan broke out of my throat. Millions of butterflies invaded my stomach and my dick throbbed in agony, begging for attention. I stopped my hands from at least touching myself and clenched my fists instead. But I suddenly felt unstable and threw my arms forward so I could cling to the shower wall.

"What's wrong, Light?" L asked innocently, but to my ear it sounded so taunting, so knowing. Not fair, not fair. "Remember what I told you. If you need help, just ask me." I groaned in torment, cursing my situation indefinitely. What was L trying to get at? Was he just being an asshole? Or was he actually considering "helping me out?" L ran his hand around my shoulder and under my neck, causing our chain to clink loudly and sending more nervous stimulation throughout my body. I couldn't talk for fear of making more embarrassing noises indicative of my arousal.

"Light, talk to me." L said with an earnest tone that still somehow sounded teasing. He slid his finger along the curve of my neck and down my chest, while his other hand ran down my side. My whole body started to tremble, and I groaned in torment. Okay! So now I had confirmed it. L was definitely a pervert. Was that a good thing? I guess right now it definitely was. But would he really help me out, or would he just tease me for fun? "Just relax." How the hell could I relax? Idiot!

"Light, listen to me. I knew about your little predicament this morning. It's okay." Oh god. My face burned an even brighter shade of red than before. This was too much humiliation to bear. "You don't have to try to cover yourself up anymore. I've been aware of your situation from the start." I should've known. Hell, I probably knew in the back of my mind the whole time. After all, L has been suspecting and studying me for a long while now. Yes, I wanted to study him, but at this point he could likely read me like a book in everything I did. Damnit. I really should've known. But I was just trying to retain my dignity! There was nothing wrong in that!

"Do you need my assistance? Just give me a yes or no answer." Really? Wasn't L aware of how embarrassing it would be to say yes...? I wanted him, absolutely, and my only other option was self-gratification, which would be much worse than this since I would have to do it to myself in front of him, but how the hell could I say yes to this? "I was your age not long ago, Light. I understand completely. Do you need my help? Just say yes or no." I sighed.

"Y-yes, L...please." I mumbled in quiet desperation, hoping that L wouldn't ask me to repeat myself. Oh, damn! I had slipped up and forgotten to call him Ryuzaki...and...aaaaah.

L pressed up against my backside, sending huge, electric shivers throughout me. Oh god, he hadn't even really touched me yet, and I was already feeling as if one more sensation could send me over the edge. But then I felt his warmth leave me and I was soon gently tugged to the bathtub floor, L being careful not to let me slip. The detective pulled me into his arms and immediately got to work. His left hand caressed the top part of my thigh while his right stroked from the bottom of my shaft to the top, rubbing the tip with his thumb briefly and spreading the pre-come that came out all over the length of my cock as he started pumping me.

Fuck. Fuck. FUCK. I was gone, absolutely wasted. I stopped caring about what pathetic noises I made and just focused on all the pleasure I was being given. L's long legs were pressed against mine from the outside, and I dug my overgrown nails into them in my state of disarray. My face was ridiculously close to L's, and I had an overwhelming urge to turn and kiss him, but it would have been extremely uncomfortable to do so. The continuous stream of hot water spraying right on top of us, the steamy atmosphere, and even the chain between me and L's handcuffs spread out on my chest only made the whole experience better, and I swore I had never felt so good in my life.

It didn't take long at all before I was coming hard into L's hand and onto my stomach, and L kept pumping until I was done with the orgasm. Afterwards, as I was breathing heavily and still whimpering from the lingering pleasure, L gently rubbed all over and around my cock to make sure it was completely clean. Then he reached back to get some of his shower gel and washed the remaining fluids off of my torso with comforting motions, also rubbing suds all over my arms, chest, and legs as well to make my entire body cleansed. My breathing finally returned to its normal inaudible state and I was trapped in a sleepy, tranquil afterglow. I hadn't felt that relaxed in an eternity.

L had to delicately remove me from his chest, as my head had fallen against his neck.

"I know you're tired, Light, but we can go to bed now." He said soothingly, getting up and turning the water off. The loss of the water made me feel a bit sad, but the room was still warm and steamy. I was sitting up on the floor now, not particularly in the mood to get up. L grabbed my wrists and forced me out of the bathtub. Somewhere in the back of my mind I noted that I didn't care about L seeing me naked anymore, and in the front of my mind I realized I still hadn't looked beyond L's waist in front view. But I was too sleepy to deal with such things and decided that looking there could wait until later. Finally out of the shower, L handed me a towel and I sloppily dried my hair, deciding to let the rest of my body air-dry. I was so tired I just wanted to go to sleep. L turned off all of the lights and pulled back the sheets for me. As soon as I got into bed I was out.

...

So. It was evident that I wouldn't sleep tonight. Besides, two nights of a full night's sleep was never a probable part of my schedule. The question was what exactly to do while Light slept.

Oh, Light. I had caught him at his most vulnerable, subject to raging teenage hormones and unable to satisfy himself in a civilized manner because he was handcuffed to me. The whole situation had unfortunately managed to turn me on as well, but I wouldn't be able to do anything about it now. According to Japanese law, Light is within two years of illegality in having sex with an adult. Yes, he was technically an adult now, but only recently so. No way was I going to do anything further than what I just had. Asking him to wash my back, however, was a preference and partially a test, not particularly intended to be a sexual notion.

I will be tolerant of Light's urges and hold back my own so as to make certain that I am not hit with consequences in the future. Light's need tonight required intervention, as he would never have been able to gratify himself in front of me. Judging by the magnitude of tonight's incident and of Light's problem in the morning, Light could probably end up this way every single day. But I would certainly be able to deal with it.

Now why exactly was I so willing to help Light, and how did he manage to turn me on? More importantly, I had felt some kind of certain warmth for Light since the beginning, and it was much more prominent now. I wasn't exactly asexual, but perhaps aromantic. And yet, I had never been particularly attracted to anyone in the past. So why Light? There was a certain term for an attraction to intelligence...I believe it was "sapiosexual," derived from the Latin principle for wisdom, "sapiens." Perhaps that is truly my sexual orientation, and the same thing could hold true for Light as well.

In any case, the coming days would certainly be interesting.

...

A/N: "coming" days omg

pleeaase review so i can make this story better D: