Hey, Chii here! Super late last chapter, here we go! Thank you for reading The Sky on The Sand! I'll see you in the next story~
The next time Roxas sees Sora is five days later. The boy hadn't been around for some unknown reason, worrying Roxas as he makes that grudging walk back home. The blonde has no means of contacting him either. It strikes him as odd as for the past few weeks, they'd see each other everyday, and if such wasn't the case, one of them would at least inform the other they'd be gone. But then again, Sora must be busy with his own life.
The sky is currently hidden behind a wall of clouds — thunder booming with no rain. It's nervous, somehow. The shores are deserted this afternoon, save for a few seagulls and sparrows scavenging for picnic crumbs left behind. Around him, the wind howls harshly, as though his very presence threatens the face of nature.
Sora's settled on the steps of the concrete stairs which lead to the isolated terrain of endless sand, thinking about something Roxas wishes he could ask about. He joins him on there, hands tucked away behind him as he sits. Summer's over in less than a month and the blonde is just counting down to the days when he'll begin university. He's yet to fix himself a schedule and grab himself a student identification card, but for now he'll stay here, at the beach, where he belonged.
"You... y-you d-don't hate me n-now, do you?" Sora speaks up, azure eyes trained on the grains beneath his shoes. It's far from the first thing Roxas expects Sora to say to him after a matter of days. Hate? How and what brought this train of thought on? Thunder cracks again and it startles him this time, snapping him free from anymore silent speculations.
"Why would I hate you, Sora?" Roxas asks. The brunette is still not looking at him when he shrugs, tucking a strand of brown hair behind his ear.
"...I just— I thought you wouldn't w-want to be friends w-with me anymore. I mean I'm... I never stay around when you want me to... and I— I withdraw so much and the other day—" Images of the cerulean-eyed teen arguing with his brother and red-haired friend on the steps of his stairs comes to him and Sora pauses, speechlessly regretting why he wouldn't just TELL HIM—
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"You're c-crazy, okay? There's no way that you couldn't see him if I—"
"You're missing the point, Roxas. You don't understand, why won't you beli—"
"No. Go away. Ventus, tell Mom and Dad I'm not hungry, Axel, go home. Don't talk to me again unless it's to apologize."
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"Sora, you weirdo. You think I'd hate you over something like that?" the seventeen year old laughs it off as he draws himself closer to the boy. "You know it's perfectly okay you can't stay around or hang out, but that's not something big enough for me to start hating you. I mean, we're friends. Right?" And just like that, the clouds proceed to clear up, slowly more than spontaneously. The chocolate-haired boy isn't so tense anymore.
"Right... I'm sorry... I'm not v-very, err, good with... this..."
Roxas blinks twice and he smiles before pinching Sora's cheek in a playful manner. They rest their heads against each other — Sora's eyes on the waves and their undeterminable patterns and Roxas; the celestial heavens, wondering how on earth the thunder left so quickly as it came. As they sit there, the two can't help the subtle brushing of their hands against the other's, and it isn't until the third time it happens that Roxas decides to lace their fingers together — softly... slowly... eyes calculating for emotions and heartbeats fast.
The hours are closing in, and the breeze is nice and cool as it dances lightly on uncovered skin. A few minutes later the cerulean-eyed teen ushers the both of them on their feet to walk along the beach's concrete wall while no one else is watching.
With Roxas on the sand, one hand guiding Sora's elevated form, they grin freely as they let themselves go, enjoying the now, the time they have together. The brunette's right arm is raised to steady himself while he carefully places one foot after the other along the smoothened cement. It's times like this that Sora knows he will treasure as he commits to memory these special, mortal experiences. Who knows when he'll do them again huh... if only he could, but—
"This is nice." Roxas starts, their fingers still entwined. They've stopped at the end of that wall, and Sora hops down to another set of stairs to the beach while his friend keeps him from falling.
"Yeah... It is, isn't it? If... if only I could make days go slower..." he replies as he catches the other's gaze, inwardly thinking about how unique its shade of blue is and how quickly it's becoming his favourite; a hue he cannot master or replicate. "If only I could draw out this summer, or every other one. But I cannot control time."
The sigh Sora makes is agonizing to his ears, like a defeated declaration of, "I want to keep seeing you", because he's FALLEN but he needs to go back, he just can't risk it and they'll both get hurt in the end. It doesn't stop the gentle caress of pale fingers to his cheek though, or the communicative feelings conveyed between blue eyes.
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If the sky could dream, it would dream of falling in love.
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And now that it has, maybe it was best that it hadn't.
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After all, not everything can stay the same.
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Not even words that won't fade away on marred white sand.
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Roxas' hand is really warm against his own. "I guess that makes two of us, then. Though we'll always have tomorrow, right?" Apricot rapidly climbs across the sky and sooner or later, Sora has to go again. Splayed fingers and lingering looks will have to do for now.
If only we could.
"We shared a moment... that will last till the end"
He has to tell him how he feels before it's too late.
It's chilly in the middle of the night, but Roxas isn't so fazed with a blanket wrapped around him as he opens the window above his study table. He clears the stacks of papers and open magazines to one side before testing it to carry his weight. The moon is brighter than usual, or maybe that's just him. How warm his heart becomes to know that Sora could be watching the same sight, even though it's around three-thirty am and he'd just woken up from a none-too-peaceful dream.
Roxas knows there's something between them. And granted, they've only met each other this summer, but it was a great summer nonetheless. Is. The brunette's a little distant, but he wants to give this a chance. Give them a chance. After all, it's not everyday Roxas willingly wants to spend time with anyone other than himself and the people close to him. Maybe Father Nature would give him his blessings...
Autumn is coming fast, and he won't get to see the beach, and therefore, he won't get to see Sora, everyday from then on.
We can make it work, he tells himself.
Even from where he sits, Roxas listens to the whispers of the sea; quiet pleads to love what he has and his surroundings. Tugging the blankets around him more closely, he just smiles, thinking about true azure irises and those little sketches of crabs and pebbles on the ground. Sora's so endearing. Then there's his beautiful smile, and the way he looks at him, and the blonde's not sure whether or not he should take the boy into a hug or shake his head stupidly because he's just that adorable.
If he was paying attention, he would have noticed the intermittent twinkling of the brightest stars high up in the night sky, like the rapid blinks of two eyes.
Haha.
Hah.
...Love's a silly thing. Nevermind that Roxas hasn't been in this situation before. He knows what he wants and he needs Sora to know that yes, he doesn't have to be scared anymore, because they can be together, and he'll never be alone waiting at the endless sea of dreams.
"AWWW, WHAT DID YOU DO?! You messed up my fort! You know I'm going to get you for this, right?"
"Hah. Try to attack my super-duper shovel cannon! Pew pew pew pew pew! Two can play at this game, hahaha!"
It's another sunny afternoon at the local beach, and Roxas and Sora are engaged in a competitive game of sand fort wars. The people around them mind their own businesses as they indulge in their afternoon teas or splash both feet in cold water.
As of then, the brunette is tallying most of the points, and his friend has to catch up else he be crowned the ultimate sand fort wars loser. Roxas chances another sandball attack, but he misses as it lands on the azure-eyed teen's protective wall, crashing it down.
"Oh no... I have to build that back now." Sora grins, taking his trusty stick and writing up a point on Roxas' side. It was the blonde's idea to start this game. Immediately after they ran into each other, he'd just upped and said, "let's verse each other on a sand fort war" before striding close to the shore with a branch in hand. Sora just shook his head and went with it.
"Don't get so confident, Sora. I can still take you down, shovel cannon or nah!"
Piling up damp clumps of sand one after the other, the brunette's ready to withstand another blow, that is, after he makes a right aim. He holds up the stick as if he's trying to measure the distance and angle he should shoot at. "Get ready for this! Prepare to surrender!"
"No way!"
Roxas' fort walls are high, but if Sora disregards it, he knows he can completely obliterate the castle and take the victory. So when he winces at the way he releases the sandball with his mini shovel, he doesn't have to look to know he's won when the cerulean-eyed teen groans defeatedly.
"Hahaha! Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick! Five points for me! And now that your castle's down, that means I get YOUR treasure!" He doesn't really know the basics behind this sand fort wars thing, but he complies when Roxas tells him to hide a "treasure" inside the fort. Said treasure, according to the blonde anyway, served as a motivation to take the other's forces down. Sora's is a nice conch shell he found in the sea when they were collecting their resources. He could only wonder what Roxas' is.
The blonde nods. "Okay, okay. But... don't laugh at mine. I think you, ahaha... um— I think you c-could use it... for the n-next round." He steps aside with a hand behind his head as Sora kneels next to him, digging for the unknown.
Minutes later, Sora finds a white clam shell amidst the camouflages of sand. Still intact, thank goodness; a few chips at the edges and a stubborn barnacle on one of the sides. "Woah. It's huge! There are lots of good shells in the sea, huh?"
"Yeah. Helps to be wearing beach shoes. They, err, can get really sharp."
Roxas is fidgety whilst Sora inspects it from corner to corner. It's not pretty — dull grey washing out the white and textured ridges all over. When he opens it, Roxas is plain not looking, a blush on his cheeks as the other picks up the barely-dry rolled up paper inside it.
"Umm... what is—" Sora doesn't finish. Five cursive words stare back at him, and he could only glance nervously at Roxas who is still not looking at him.
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"Can I tell you something?"
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The brunette chews on his bottom lip, blunt fingernails scratching at the surface of the note. "Uhh... sure, I guess..."
He breathes in deeply, mentally preparing himself for what Roxas has to say. He's still not looking at him. What Roxas does do is reach for his hand and drag him closer to the shore, where they both kneel down and wait as the blonde starts to doodle with his branch.
The cerulean-eyed teen traces one face on the sand after the other, both sporting gravity-defying hair, two pairs of dotted eyes and a love heart encircled around them. Then, lopsided words — four in total — are drawn underneath this innocent art sketch of two individuals and their blossoming feelings for one another.
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"I. Really. Like. You."
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Sora can't find any words to say in reply — he just squeezes back on the hand he's still holding, head cast down and eyes looking anywhere but at Roxas or the drawing. The doodle doesn't stay there, sadly — unlike his own, it disappears with the first three rushes of the waves, untraceable like the way illustrations on the sand should be.
~o~
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...He likes me.
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He likes me too.
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...Roxas, he likes me too.
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What... What do I do now...
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He's trying not to run away, this time.
Sora knew this would happen one day, because he's seen through Roxas' feelings. Just replaying those words again and again in his mind makes their situation more tangible.
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He returns my feelings...
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...Roxas, he returns my feelings...
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What can I do now...
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...There is no way this can last a lifetime.
The joyful atmosphere diminishes as the clouds bundle in strangely, and it's like yesterday all over again. The locals are looking up at the unpredictable sky and so is Roxas, who's just as surprised as he was when he'd first seen the unwashable words on the ground.
"Why's the weather always changing like this?" He whispers to himself. Sora's "sorry" doesn't reach his ears when he raises his eyebrows at the families reluctantly packing for the day. The sun that was once there fades in the sky's dimness and he finally pays attention to Sora. He's paled with their game long forgotten, bottom lip between his teeth and tempted to leave at anytime.
"What's wrong, Sora, are you—"
He already knows what Roxas is going to say. "Roxy, I can't. I'm sorry, but I just—" ...He doesn't regret this. He doesn't regret meeting him. He doesn't regret what he feels and doesn't hate what he is.
He just wants to know why this is so hard. Is this how it feels to be in love? How painful and agonizing and human it is...
They could be happy but. There's just no way he can stay.
Roxas wouldn't remember him. How could he live through a romance that can never be sustained?
The latter's about to slip through and disappear again when Roxas catches his arm, desperate to make him stay. "Please, I didn't know what I did, is it the weather? Is it scaring you? We can go find shelter, maybe stay under a tree if it starts to rain—"
"You won't understand... Please, let m-me go."
"What won't I understand... I'll listen to you, even if it takes long. Y-You can tell me..."
Thunder is rolling in. The more the heavens continue to crackle and cry, the more the people are sure to make their way home. Sora is just chanting apologetic mantras in his head as he attempts to make a getaway.
"Roxas..."
What was once a jolly azure is now deeply cobalt blue, stormy and threatened in the perspective of cerulean eyes. "I l-like you. And... you. You like m-me too. There's s-something between us, isn't there... B-But."
He leans his head onto Roxas' chest. It might be the only time he could. Roxas' heartbeat is loud and unsteady; so real... so mortal and whole. It isn't until an arm wraps around him that the first droplets of rain begin to fall.
"...We can't be t-together."
They're the only ones left there now. All the locals have cleared up minutes ago, and the birds are only loitering around for their friends before they all migrate to drier areas together. If Roxas has to withstand the rain to listen to what Sora has to say, then so be it. It seems nature wasn't on his side as another burst of thunder erupts from above and Sora clutches him closer.
"I'm so sorry..." he mumbles sadly. The brunette's hair smells like sea salt and crisp air. Natural. Wild. "When Ventus and Axel... when I met them the other day... They were. They w-were right, you know."
They were right... they were right about what? It doesn't make sense to Roxas now, but if he keeps his tongue Sora might just explain.
"To the world... I'm just another everyday force of nature. They can't... they can't see me, Roxas. No one can. And everything I do is invisible to the world, from my drawings, to my footprints... everything... except with you."
"But why—"
"I don't know. Remember w-what I said when I f-first met you? That you must be special, because it's not every other summer I get to see someone who could actually see me. Whether it's because it just is or because unlike everyone else, you like to be one with nature, I'm n-not so sure."
It didn't have to be this way, Sora knows. They could be together, but when he leaves, how can he be sure Roxas wouldn't get hurt? It isn't fair. But how could it be when he is what he is...
He steps away from the embrace, forcing himself to smile, casting his head around to see if everything is still in its place. No fallen trees or rooted-up houses yet, ha ha... Sora looks back at the blonde who's still as lost as ever, and he doesn't blame him. "I'm sorry you had to l-learn this way... I just c-couldn't find a way to tell you earlier..."
He dries his own tears and looks at his own representation — dark, glum colours blending into the saddened sky. Waving a hand, the worst of the clouds dissipate slowly while he whispers continuous "sorry"s to the people he watched over each and every single day.
"My name is Sora. I'm the spirit of the sky, and I've fallen in love with you."
You're beautiful...
It's an understatement to say Roxas is taken aback by the confession. The weather changing so rapidly, Sora's insistence to leave before sunset... the story fits in, but the reality of it is hard to grasp. The azure-eyed teen in front of him is very whole and real, and he knows he isn't just a figment of his imagination. "H-How can you be a spirit when you look so hominine..." he wants to ask, but he casts the thought away in favour of taking the brunette's hand into his own.
"I... I have to go." Sora mutters, regretfully. Roxas has a hunch that Sora doesn't really want to go, but how can they pursue this if its futility was obvious?
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He doesn't want to hurt me.
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He thinks I'll crack because we aren't the same.
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Is that why he's been leaving?
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He doesn't want to get too attached because he knows he can't stay?
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How can Sora be a spirit or whatever if his actions were so humane? To actually see whatever's budding in this relationship and to be aware that it shouldn't go on if it would never last? Nature shouldn't be forgiving or caring. They have no emotions to dwell upon.
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But Sora does.
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"O-Okay." Roxas says with a dismissive smile, clasping gently at the tan hand he still held. Apparently doing just that has confused the brunette because he looks back at him with hope in his eyes.
"You said I was special right? Please believe me when I say I want to prove it to you."
"But—"
"Sora, believe in me..."
"I don't— We can't—"
"I know. It's up to me though, isn't it? To decide. I believe you're worth fighting for, my love, just like you're worth visiting every waking moment of my summer. Please let me show you how I've come to adore you... please."
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Okay, I believe you. Okay, I feel the same way. Okay, go if you must, okay, I don't care if I get hurt. Okay, I don't care that you're a part of nature, because to me, you're still the Sora I met and fell in love with and I still want to give this a chance. The latter doesn't say any of these, but he knows the brunette picks up on these words because his irises begin to shine, much like the waning sun falling over two lone souls in the middle of a deserted seafront. Sora almost tackles him into the ground with the incoming hug, and dear, sweet nature, this is going to hurt the both of them in the long run but Roxas is willing to risk it for the now they have together.
And just like the end of every afternoon, daylight starts its transition to moonlight by setting over the distant horizon. The sky is crimson when Roxas pulls him closer, a hand tilting his chin upwards as he closes in for a kiss. Heartbeats pound and breaths are bated; the brunette can't stop thinking as momentary shades of scarlet and green and violet tint his cheeks, and oh my gosh. He's floating when soft lips touch his own, and it's raining again as he melts happily into the embrace of a love he's never had.
Once upon a time, the sky had a dream.
How is it that the people of the world could find a feeling called love in the oddest of places, in the most peculiar of times and the most different kinds of individuals?
Why do they believe it makes the world go around? Was it really that special?
He didn't want to be alone. A lifetime spent watching the world and its wonders doesn't make him an expert on everything.
He comes down at random summers, waiting for something to happen. Waiting to learn of these feelings. But he should have known by now that it wouldn't last. And it doesn't.
By the end of the day and season, he resumes his place in the face of nature.
He knows he'll have to let go of this.
But the sky's found something this time around, hasn't it?
If it was that special, it'll be worth it, in the end.
You're beautiful, it's true.
"No offence, but Sora. You have to stop changing the weather. It's scaring people."
When Sora laughs, cumulus clouds bulk up quicker than the few rounds made at an amusement park's cotton candy machine. "'M sorry." Hugging his knees closer to his body, he squeezes Roxas' hand and fiddles for his pinky finger. "Most of the time, it just happens. I bet the weatherman in your tv thing or whatnot is just crying because I make his job that much harder."
"What have you got against the weatherman?!"
"Nothing." he lies. It's early afternoon and Roxas surprises Sora with an unplanned picnic of sandwiches and blackcurrant juice. Now that the former knows of Sora's predicament, he's free to come seek him anytime after sunrise and before the sunset. Sora just can't leave the beach, being a part of nature and all. The ordeal's the weirdest thing Roxas has ever confessed to his brother, and man, the expression Ventus gave him after he finally shut up was so priceless he wished he had a camera at hand.
The azure-eyed teen speaks up again after another bite. "I just think he's a fool for thinking he can predict how nature works with a few science-y stuff. I bet he doesn't even like nature."
"Love, it's not his fault. He just reads off a script without knowing."
"Still." The argument dies when Sora catches the sight of a crab burrowing out of the ground and crawling towards the shore.
"Roxy, it's a crab! These guys are normally so shy, burrowing away from anyone's sight, aww." He stuffs the sandwich into his mouth and, moving away from the blonde, he tries to crawl like it, much to Roxas' amusement. It surprises the latter even more though when Sora picks it up from below its pincers and pulls weird expressions in its presence.
"Can animals see you, Sora?"
The brunette shrugs. "Not exactly. Only the intelligent ones do." A scrunched-up nose, a teasing raspberry. "And this one's just confused, hah! I can eat and pick things up like a normal person, and no — people wouldn't see a floating paranormal crab or something — they just won't see it altogether." Placing it back on the ground, Sora wiggles a finger as though to say goodbye as the crustacean digs deep in the sand to conceal itself once more.
Sora is so mysterious, and there is so much Roxas still doesn't know about him. Granted, nature does have a lot of secrets yet to be discovered. He wouldn't have him any other way though. Roxas downs his drink and packs the food back into his bag before joining his new love and his hunt for sea critters. Sora teaches him how to pick one up and which spots in the sand they like to emerge from, eventually challenging each other to find as many crabs as they could in the span of an hour.
When four o'clock hits, they chill under the mild summer sun, making silly sand doodles and trying to shape the seaweed they've hunted for in the sea into the unfamiliar faces of people they can see around. Sora spots a big man in goofy clothes and prompts the cerulean-eyed tean to make a replica of him.
"I think he should have a bigger nose."
"What, like that?" Roxas picks off one of the leaves from the seaweed and outlines the aforementioned body part. Sora checks the man's face from a distance again.
"Yeah. Man, what are we doing, crafting people's faces like this...?"
The cerulean-eyed teen chuckles heartily. "This was your idea. Don't blame me for it."
"We went swimming and walking last time so... I thought we'd do something else. Aren't I running out of creativity..." Slumping back on the sand and away from the seaweed portrait, he sighs. His clouds smile down at him approvingly. "Decades of watching and only a few moments of doing does rot my soul sometimes."
"Hmm. I wish I could show you what's out there, but you can't leave this place can you?" A fishy hand through sunshine strands. "Have you seen other countries before or do you always end up here?"
"So many questions..." Sora teases, but answers anyway. "I've seen them. The many different people around the world too. I've met others across decades, but they always forget me eventually because I haven't gotten to know them like I have with you. People are so mysterious and different; unpredictable just like nature. It's weird. But everything around us is weird, isn't it?"
Yes.
...because life and love's a silly thing, but the blonde wouldn't have it any other way. He kneels behind the azure-eyed teen and plants a chaste kiss on his forehead, earning him a happy giggle in return. The seaweed portrait is long abandoned for a silent staring contest. "I won't forget you, though. I pretty much see you everyday."
"You better not, Roxas." the guy reprimands, an arm extended to touch the blonde's face from his position.
These days won't last, but our memories and feelings will.
...I don't know what to do...
Roxas has brought kites to fly with his love.
Summer is ending in less than a fortnight, but they're doing what they can to make the most of their hours. Sure, being confined to one place isn't all that fun, because... ironically enough, the blonde wants to show his sky the world. His parents have been curious as to why Roxas has to go out everyday, but they don't question his movements thanks to his brother's help. It somehow terrifies him, the prospect of saying goodbye. They both don't want to do so of course, but it's inevitable.
The kite Roxas is flying is one from his childhood: a huge, light orange randomly-shaped one with endless white streamers stuck against its ends. Sora is borrowing Ven's lime green dolphin kite. It looks more like a balloon from afar, but it flies just as well as the sunshine-haired teen's as they run around the currently deserted morning beach to pick up winds.
Sora manouvers his kite out of Roxas' way before the two almost collide. "The wind's normally gentle even in the morning, but just for this occasion, I'm glad I can make it stronger!" he snickers gladly.
"Oi, not too harsh, though!" the cerulean-eyed teen tells him, and he panics a little as he loses control of his kite and has to edge a couple of paces backwards. The other boy seems to be having fun witnessing Roxas struggle, however. Heh. Sora just wants to play with him while they still could.
Even as he tries not to succumb to the wind's ministrations, Roxas can't help but appreciate the smile on Sora's face. This was the individual he fell in love with — a beautiful, mysterious, mischievous brunette who was competitive and curious and creative in every way. Up a bit, down a bit, pulling at the strings. They are having fun, just like they deserve to.
"Come on Roxy! Fly! Fly!" Sora beams, running further and further away with his kite in tow. Sora's abilities are strong, but there is no way the seventeen year old is giving in.
"Oh no you don't, don't think I'm letting you win!"
"Of course not, but I'm not letting you win either. Fly! Fly!"
"FLY!"
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Roxas loses the wrestle spontaneously as he sees himself being lifted just a few inches off the ground. It's a surprise his kite was large enough to carry some of his weight, but anything's possible in the presence of a nature spirit.
"Yeaaaah! You're flying! You really are!"
He panics. "Whooaa, yeah I am, okay, Sora, I want to be on solid ground— come on, love, please stop—"
The breeze calms down rapidly, but the kites remain airborne. Sora is laughing off his amusement. If Roxas was looking, he would have seen the sky betrays Sora's true feelings as it bleeds into a slightly darker azure shade.
"Aww, you're no fun, Roxy." the brunette pouts from behind him.
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...It's not that he isn't afraid to fly, because he wants to one day. See the clouds up close. See what it's like above them. How do the colours differ when you're twenty-five thousand feet above ground? Are they cooler? Warmer? A blend of light yellows and violets? He's imagining what a sunset might look like above the clouds when he hears a sad whoosh and thunk — his kite has crashed. Sora's ahead of him now, trying to catch the green dolphin before it too adheres to gravity and falls.
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I just want to be with you.
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"Y'okay, Rox? You were out for a while there," the azure-eyed teen says when they find each other and rest up on the beach stairs.
"Yeah, I'm good. How's Ven's kite?"
The boy flashes him a smile. "It's safe and sound. Caught it just in time. Yours?"
"A bit sandy, but still functional." They leave them next to their shoes before seeking out each other's hands, brown strands of hair falling on the other's shoulder as they catch their breaths.
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Why can't we be together?
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"Hey Sor? You'll watch over when I go travelling someday, yeah?" He's thinking about the future. How different things will be when, well... when Sora has to go. Roxas is lucky to have fallen for the spirit of the sky in the first place, and as selfish as he is, he wants to keep him for himself. Was there a way they could see each other again? It's not like summer will never come again. He just has to wait, right? Wait and seek, just like he'd done so when he first saw those two non-eraseable letters on the sand. Sora draws a pale hand to his lips and kisses the back of it, smiling at the still peaking sun.
"Course I will. I'll stalk you if I could, ha ha." he replies. "Stare at all the places you enter... watch you walk... watch you shower—"
"Please do not watch me shower. I'll keep the windows blocked out if you do."
"...watch you shampoo your hair and wash it out... watch you dry off and get into the hotel bed naked and think about me and—"
"I don't like where this is going!" Roxas bumps him at the side. "So vulgar, sky spirit. What have you been doing with your life?"
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You know I love you, right?
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"All my life, huh... I've watched over the earth all my life... over its creatures and over its people." Sora declares, triumphantly grinning. "So you can't really blame me for noting how strange everyone is. Years of watching and I kind of, err, picked up some human habits, ha ha. I live to watch over anyone, everyone, everything. Because no matter where you are, there's got to be a sky under you, right?"
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I wanted to be a part of your world.
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You don't need to fly to see the sky. Just look out a window, go outside, observe the sun and the clouds; the moon and the stars. A bleak goodbye will not separate them. It'll be hard, but isn't love like that?
"Don't worry so much, Roxas. I'll look after you from above. I'll always be here..." the brunette promises as he snuggles closer to Roxas, arms locked together as they stare at the horizon.
"Yeah." Roxas beams back, reassured.
No matter what, no matter where. The sky will always be there.
"Dude, it's like, two in the morning. What the heck, man." Ven stumbles in his brother's bedroom one night, rubbing his eyes as tries to get them used to the dimness of Roxas' desk lamp.
"I'm working on something." his brother says back, not paying attention as he invites him to sit on his bed with a hand motion. "I don't know if nature spirits can bring gifts over to wherever they go, but it's still worth a shot."
He took a technology class in high school, so Roxas knows what he's doing as he files a metal cap of some sort and twists what used to be a metal hanger into a hinge ring. The blonde's trying to make a locket: something Sora will remember him by, just as he'll remember him with his own. Sure, he could have bought a ready-made one in that one jewellery shop in town his mother loved so much, but it doesn't have that "nature-like" style he wants Sora to see, and homemade gifts are way more special than bought ones. The cerulean-eyed teen hopes from the bottom of his heart that, as he wipes a sweatdrop and exercises his tired arms for a while, the final product could at least reflect a little bit of the ample love he has for his sky.
"You are insane." Ven mumbles finally before digging through his brother's closet. Roxas has the window open, possibly so the moonlight could guide him in his task, as well as the dark blueness of the celestial night heavens. The older blonde finds Roxas' favourite jacket and drapes it over his twin's back to keep him comfortable.
"At least wear something warm. I don't want you to catch a cold. We're taking different classes, so come university I can't look after you all the time."
Roxas smiles and wears it to humour him. "Alright, alright. Now go back to sleep. I'll be fine." Clank. Clank. Twist.
"My brother is the weirdest guy in love ever..." mutters Ventus as he shuts the door in pursuit of his own room.
There must be an angel, with a smile on her face...
His drawings are fading away.
Time is always so fast when you need it the most, Roxas thinks, as he showers his love's cheek with quick butterfly kisses. They're sitting on the line where the sand and sea meet, legs extended out to the waves that wash over them. Good weather again, but like Sora's blush, the sky's a humble pastel lilac as one, two, three pecks send happy chills to his spine.
Sora is tracing something up whilst humming — maybe a flower, or the sun, the blonde isn't sure. But unlike his drawings from weeks ago, they would fade quickly, only half of the picture complete. The melody is sad and somewhat accepting; slow, solemn, sombre notes to express the teen's mood. Roxas kisses him for the umpteenth time.
"Whatcha working on?"
"Hmm, oh. I was trying draw a cupcake." Sora says, secretly annoyed at the stubborn waves. "With icing, haha." A weak smile.
"I haven't eaten a lot of human food, but I hear pasta tastes good. The thought of eating meatballs makes me cringe, though."
"Pasta's alright." the cerulean-eyed teen responds. "I'd prefer it in mushroom sauce, since the whole tomato thing isn't for me."
"Maybe you could bring me some?"
Roxas feels warm when the boy clings to him tightly, attempting to coax him into complying with blue puppy eyes. He nods. "Sure, anything for you."
.
.
Because I don't have long to show you how much I care, don't I?
.
.
The day is young and the crowds are minimal today, varying from last-minute summer tanning individuals and volleyball enthusiasts. No one seems to notice the sky spirit and his love tossing whatever they can find around them — from seashells, to tiny swept-out twigs and rocks into the sea with their free hands. The cerulean-eyed teen chuckles at the way one of the twigs flop onto an incoming wave. Things get even however when another, much stronger wave completely soaks them both, the sea somehow angry for being ridiculed.
Sooner or later, Roxas ushers them both to their feet, shorts dripping of once-cold saltwater. He pulls the sky closer to him, completely taking in the fresh scent of the breeze for him to remember. They dance. Clumsy, wet footsteps and blissful chuckles, hands clasped together as the two spin around quickly, one and two and three.
"Heeeeey, I'm gonna fall over, we're spinning too fast!" the azure-eyed teen exclaims with mirth in his eyes.
"Don't worry, I'll catch you." Splish, splish, splash, splosh. The sea is their witness, amused with each and every step they took. The waves crash. The wind sings. It's both beautiful and tragic, this fast-paced love of theirs.
Splish, splish, splash, splosh...
.
.
.
.
"...Roxas?"
The blonde answers monosyllabically.
"When I disappear—" No. Don't say such things. You won't disappear; I know you'll still be here. "—would you... would be there till the end?"
I will watch you go.
I will keep you in my heart.
"If I could, love, I'd find you no matter what. Every summer... whatever country... whatever time..."
.
.
Why do I love you? Have we moved too fast? Is this really worth it? My feelings are yours, that's for sure.
.
.
When the sunset comes, Roxas and Sora settle to a relaxed and romantic slow dance. Closer and closer, short kisses that should have lasted longer. It's up to Father Nature and the sea to watch over them now, because time isn't on their side and it refuses to be.
His drawings are fading away.
"I love you, Sora." Cerulean orbs, light shining.
"Love you, too." Whatever love means, whatever love is, the sky will keep his words like his name on the sand.
...But his love will stay.
When she thought up that I should be with you...
Thank Axel and Demyx for this one, his mind keeps providing for him as he rows the kayak further and further into the ocean. That early morning alone, the two friends pitched in to bring the latter's boat in his pick-up truck, if only so Roxas could have a perfect last day of summer. Ven's coming in later afternoon to bring Mother's special pasta recipe and so much more, and after much convincing, Sora has decided to stay for as long as he could for a once-in-a-lifetime overnight camping spree.
Roxas is glad to have such supporting friends.
The aforementioned brunette is in awe as he watches the oars whip up tiny whirlpools in the water, hands just shy of the edge. From turquoise to deep sapphire, Sora's own azure eyes light up at the changing beauty his cousin, the sea, possesses.
"I've never actually gone diving before," he says lightly, voice laced with excitement as he puts on the very much industrialized diving mask. It fits his face awkwardly and when he shows the other from behind him, Roxas chuckles at the way he looks.
"Those look so big on you, but I guess it'll have to do."
Sora pouts. "Ehh? It won't come out though, right? I've got it tightened up and everything. It's just supposed to protect my eyes from the water?"
"Naturally."
The few people at the shore look like little dotted figures from where they are, and when the blonde thinks they've found a deep enough spot to dive at, he lets the handy anchor sink deep into the sea just as how Demyx taught him to.
.
.
.
Sora always knew the sea was beautiful, but even for a nature spirit, there's still plenty he hasn't explored. He gasps at the sight of blue marlins, jellyfish and other aquatic creatures, their radiant rainbow colours filling his heart with pure joy. It's nicer, taking a dive somewhere deeper than where he's allowed. Hand in hand as they become one with the ocean, Roxas and Sora navigate around coral reefs of many shapes and sizes filled with life and inspiration.
Just as the brunette gives chase to a seahorse horde, he spots a giant turtle and, looking back at Roxas for approval, goes on to latch onto its back as it carries him to its destination. All these creatures; hidden from him. He revels in spending time with them all, just as the blonde revels in seeing him smile.
When they resurface, they find themselves a great deal away from the kayak, and so, being their naturally competitive selves, they try to outswim the other back. It's on that last summer morning that they rest under the timid sun — away from the shore, away from everyone, away from industrialization and from the world itself.
Just with nature... just with nature...
~o~
Carbonara is now officially Sora's favourite food, devoid of ham and plentiful with mushrooms. Dem is grilling barbecue with their red-haired friend, and Ven tries not to say anything that will hurt Roxas and his love.
"How's Mother's pasta?" he says instead, and attempts to picture a petite brunette with gravity-defying hair, sky blue eyes and skin as healthy as any summer-loving individual would have in the (not blank) space beside Roxas.
"I love it! Food is so awesome... and I'm so glad that you're all so kind to me..." Sora replies. This loving family — he could have been a whole part of it if he isn't what he is, but it's too late for regrets; only wishes, and hopes that he'd experience this again.
"He says he's glad you're all so kind and that he loves it." Roxas translates for them.
"Aww, no problem for our one and only Roxy's beloved." Axel winks, bringing over the freshly-made batch of porkchops.
"Oh shut it, you."
"Ohhhh, shuuuut it youuu, says Roxas dearest, but how he feels for Soraaaa, is the sweetest!" Their music-loving friend chips in gleefully. The blonde's eye twitches, baffled at the remark and he flicks handful of sand at the direction where Demyx is standing. It doesn't reach him, of course.
"Why are you guys soooo annoying..."
In his heart he's very thankful for having them around — for believing in him and Sora, but there's no way he'd voice that out loud... no way, haha. The brunette chuckles sweetly beside him, and Roxas automatically knows something's changed when Axel perks up and Ventus gasps, falling back at the sand upon hearing the voice of the sky.
...
Once they're done eating the azure-eyed teen invites Roxas up, and they skip happily and playfully while Demyx takes out his trusty sitar and begins to play a piece. Ven and Axel remain sitting and clapping as their best friend and his love make the most of this day. Regardless of the select few locals loitering at the beach, the five freely enjoy themselves. It is the last day of summer, after all.
"So, Dem likes music, Axel's thinking of taking business, and Ven might go into media studies?" Sora asks, his hands still grasping his love's as they lose themselves to a spinning momentum. They're about to fall over when the redhead warns them to keep it together.
"Yep. Music is the way to go, my brotha. There are so many perfect pieces and beautiful instruments you haven't heard from yet, have ya?"
"Dude, if he's been around for decades, he must have." Ven scrunches his nose to avoid an incoming sneeze.
"Don't underestimate the spirits of nature huh... Man, I feel kinda bad, yaknow? Are there any hot chick spirits? I'm too jelly, man — a world out there I haven't known of? Daaaamn."
"Axel, no."
"What? Just saying. I wish I was more observant and lucky like you." He shakes his head, leaning back on the picnic mat and eyeing the clouds whirl by. Roxas plants one on Sora's cheek before they take a seat on the sand.
He is lucky, isn't he? He'll always be lucky for having fallen for Sora, and having Sora love him back just as much.
The three say their goodbyes and part just before five, giving the couple ample time to themselves before night falls and slumber is the only thing that separates the summer from autumn. Roxas wants this day to be positively memorable. He says none of it and tries not to react when the hand in his flickers transcendently, like a gradual transparencing stage. Singing — the voice of his love soothes him. Longing words that take his mind off reality, wishes to keep what they have before it fades.
(No, it won't fade.)
(It won't fade... it won't fade...)
I love you... always.
~o~
The last night of summer, the last day of the month. The air cooling slowly as it briefly whisks over the sides of the small erected tent under one of the trees at the beach. Tucking himself inside a sleeping bag next to the calm brunette, cerulean orbs blink repeatedly as he takes in Sora's sparkling dark azure eyes.
"Are you seriously starting your watching spree now?" Roxas jokes, fixing a few strands of Sora's hair behind his ear. Nature spirits do not sleep and the sky exists to watch over the world. It's hard to believe how time flies by, and that soon—
"Heehee~ Don't worry, I'm here."
Sora scoots closer and basks in the warmth and presence of Roxas, arms wrapped strongly around each other.
Kisses, caresses, a night to remember as they touch under the ultramarine blanket of stars. Sora will never forget the feel of fingers treading through his hair, or the little happy sighs the blonde makes after their lips meet in a sensual manner. The smell of salt and Roxas' dishevelled hairstyle. Watching from afar had been a repetitive habit. Seeing him up close turns whatever's left of Sora's human self into contented putty.
Lying there, with Sora's head of chocolate hair resting on his chest, Roxas remembers something and taps the azure-eyed teen to move aside for a bit. He retrieves it from a pocket in his bag and dusts the thing before showing it to Sora. It's the locket he completed: pelted metal shaped into a love heart and a chain of A-plus handiwork. He tried. It's not the best thing ever, but it is a representation of his love. The smile on the sky's face, Roxas thinks to himself, was definitely worth making it.
"It's beautiful, Roxy." the brunette says, bringing it to one cheek and revelling in its coolness.
"I have no idea if you can take it to where you come from but... I wanted to give you something before... err, something to—that is..."
He's rewarded by a thousand kisses and an ecstatic tackle hug. "I'll pull the strings to make sure I keep it forever." A tear of joy cascades down Sora's face when he sees what's inside the treasure — it's one of Roxas' best photos, with his eyes at the blue sky wearing the biggest, most genuine grin. Ventus took it on one of their holidays when the younger blonde wasn't looking. He only had one physical copy, and now he was giving it away.
When the seventeen year old tires and he rests his eyes as Sora rubs his back, the brunette whispers yet another set of lyrics, lulling his beloved to sleep. He resists the tugging feeling when his left hand spiritualizes and rematerializes — he never did like having to deal with this. It is as if he never existed, this transitional stage. He can never be free but he's found a saving light. Sora knows Roxas will think of him even after the day ends.
.
.
.
That's what the sky can hope for now.
Roxas panics when he wakes up without Sora.
.
.
He didn't say goodbye?
.
.
.
He didn't wake him up?
.
.
.
What if he didn't have a chance to? What if he tried so hard to stay?
.
.
Throwing the sleeping bag to the side as he shuffles towards the tent entrance, his racing heart slows when he spots a silhouette crouching near the shore. The blonde all but runs to where his love is, tracing his name on the sand repeatedly.
The first day of autumn is a rainy day.
"I'm sorry I didn't wake you..." the boy whispers. "...Was going to." His limbs are flickering in and out of existence now, and Roxas collects the crouching body and cuddles into his shoulder. Of course Sora is crying. Saying goodbye is never easy.
"Hey, hey." Damn it, the brunette crying like that saddens him enough to start sobbing as well, but he forces himself to smile for their sake. "Sora, God, I love you so much, okay, I'm here... Shhh..."
The sun is shy of rising from the far off horizon, and the sky continues to doodle against the coming of the waves and raindrops.
S. Stay with me. Don't disappear under the sand or behind the clouds.
O. Of all the summers I've had to live through, ours was the best because I was with you.
R. Roxas, I love you. Never forget that.
A. Always. Whether or not we see each other again, this love will be remembered forever more.
"Play a game... w-with me, Roxy." The palms of his hands sweep away freshly shed tears and Sora beams, grateful for having Roxas around. The blonde agrees. One last kiss and daylight will soon illuminate the world they loved so much.
"They're not gone yet. See how many names you can count before they all wash away. Can you do that, Roxas?" He backs off slowly, hesitantly. The shorefront is full of them — lopsided letters of different sizes, just like the first day, Roxas remembers.
"Sure."
"Keep counting and tell me when you're done."
"Alright. I can do that, love."
It's a distraction, he knows.
.
.
.
It can't be this way, but what choice does the cerulean-eyed teen have? He points at one name after the other and counts out loud. "One, two..."
"Three, four, five... six..."
"Seven... eight, nine..."
Further and further away are the steps Sora takes as he distances himself from the occupied blonde. Flicker, flicker, woosh. Waves, wind and rain: sweeping away each letter.
"I love you, Rox. Don't forget me." Words soon to be carried by the wind as the azure-eyed teen clutches at the locket, grinning his best.
"Ten. Eleven, twelve, thirteen... fourteen, fifteen, sixteen."
"Seventeen." Roxas stops, ending with that last ripple of the sea. He doesn't have to turn around to know Sora is...
Instead, he looks up at the heavens and screams his answer, water droplets mixing with his tears. "I love you, my beautiful sky.
.
.
I love you so much..."
But it's time to face the truth...
Two weeks into autumn and Roxas has time to spare, choosing to make a stopover at the beach after a long first day in university. He already has plans for his first art project — a portfolio on personified spirits of nature, his upcoming best piece hopefully a portrait of his summer sky. Beep beep. A text from Ven lets him know that the guy's having trouble getting home (screw transportation delays!, he quotes) and another from Axel (can't a guy take a beachwalk in peace?) ranting about this hot blue-haired girl with a punky 'x' tattoo on her face talking to him today.
...It's been a while, but every minute he can't help but miss Sora... so much. He dreams of seaweed and the sky on the sand, in this land... meeting him and having him safely in his arms. Sora promised to watch over him, so sometimes he chats with the face of nature, grinning openly regardless of prying eyes when a breeze wooshes past him like a hand caressing his face.
It's hard, but isn't love always like that? He follows a random set of footprints, almost similar to Sora's foot size, and ends up near the shore where the waves are close enough to wash over his favourite pair of shoes. He's got something in hand, so maybe he can let it go before he goes home.
Roxas' heart almost stops when he notices the waves don't wash over this set of footprints immediately. He waits some to confirm he's not seeing things, and he finds his initial thoughts are wrong. Correction: these footprints don't wash out at all. He immediately thinks, no, it's too good to be true. It's autumn and—
The five pm beachside is deserted on that busy weekday, so when he catches sight of a pale blonde girl in a white dress with her hands behind her back, he immediately concludes she is one of them.
.
.
.
He makes his way to her. She must be the autumn nature spirit, here to stay until the end of the season. Sora told him it was random to be able to take human form and end up in the same place, so it was a lucky break that she immediately followed the brunette here. Roxas is just about to say something but he isn't sure how he could put it. Are you one of them? Do you know Sora? Hi, what nature form do you take?
"Umm, err, excuse me," he begins. Already off to a bad start, huh. "I, umm. Couldn't help but notice that your... well, your footprints don't fade away in the water. If you don't mind me asking, are y-you a nature spirit perhaps? Of course, if you aren't please just ignore me, I'm a weird guy, ha ha."
She turns around when she hears "nature spirit" and her sapphire eyes light up, nodding and greeting him back in a soft-spoken tone.
"Yes, I am. I'm Naminé, and you must be Roxas. I'm the spirit of the waves."
Waves. She controls the actions of the sea...
Somehow the thought of surfers complaining because they can't get a good wave or fishermen raging because the low tide is constant makes him laugh out loud.
"I think we'll be great friends, Naminé."
~o~
She tells him of her promise to the sky just as the male blonde can say only good about the brunette he deeply adored.
"I can still hear him say your name sometimes. Kairi, my cousin, the sea — she gets super annoyed because he keeps singing and great Riku just shuts them both up."
"Oh... Does that mean you can hear them now? Sora had to listen to all your conversations whilst he was human?"
The sapphire-eyed girl shakes her head. "No. Just when I get back home after dusk. Nature constantly needs their guiding spirits since it is part of our duty to remain balance. Riku was super cross when Sora pulled those extreme weather stunts — terrifying the life out of everyone non-purposefully. Let's just say he's not allowed to change the weather so much now." she chuckles.
"Wow. So even you guys have limits, huh."
"I guess. He thinks you're good for Sora though. Maybe... if he's in a great mood, great Riku might just..." she pauses, smiling at him as she becomes aware she's said too much. Roxas smiles back. He talks to Ven about his love as often as his brother wants to listen to him, and talking to Naminé right now, the cerulean-eyed blonde feels grateful. It warms his heart to know that the brunette really is watching him, thinking about him even when he isn't around. Next year though...
He'll find him no matter what. Even if it takes forever, Roxas knows they'll meet again.
Naminé gets up from the ground and dusts her dress free of sand. "Roxas, I've something to show you. I promised Sora to take you to see it. It's why I'm here in the first place, you see."
"Something to show me?" He stands as well, following suit. "Alright. Lead the way."
The shore is wide and they cover half of it on foot; their destination the very far right end of the beach. Roxas has been at both ends in his spare time, but there wasn't much he could say about them. The left end of the beach was just a plain layout of sand. The right, however...
It ends in a protruding rock formation, which in turn, leads to a hill looking over the sea. Naminé continues to lead him closer and closer and before they know it, they both arrive on scene.
"You can only reach this place on foot if I say so," she grins, taking his hand as they attempt to tiptoe towards the water. The waves retract in her presence, allowing them to walk further into uncharted areas. Roxas had absolutely no idea there was a small cave around here, only accessible in very, very low tide.
They enter, the cerulean-eyed teen noting how narrow it is. The blonde girl points at a doodle on the walls. "Sora's surprise, Part One. He'd been carving this piece ever since you told him you love him, ha ha."
It's the two of them, hand in hand. It's difficult to draw in stone, but so intricate is the tiny drawing that Roxas can make out the spikes on their hair. Approaching the drawing closer, he accidentally steps over some words on the sand that he hasn't noticed until now. Oh crap.
Naminé reassures him it's going nowhere. "It's alright, don't worry." And indeed it was, because when he lifts his foot out the letters are still there to stay.
Heh.
How sweet. A simple phrase is enough to send him to tears of joy.
.
.
.
"Roxas, you're beautiful."
.
.
.
He should be saying that. Everything about nature is beautiful, especially the sky as he knows he could love.
When they leave the cave, the sun is ready to wane. It's only a matter of time before it sets and the sapphire-eyed girl has to go. His bag is still where he last left it against a tree, along with the item he desires to let go. The wave spirit tells him to keep his eyes on the sky.
Do you know the most beautiful sunsets? It's when the colour of the sky is crimson and purple; pink, yellow presets and a bright orange for the sun. But that couldn't compare to the view in sight, because the sun's rays spread far against a scarlet backdrop in what looks to be the shape of a love heart.
"Sora's surprise, Part Two." It barely registers when Naminé tells him this. "Only when the sun sets can you see it shaped like a golden locket. Just a little something to show you his thanks."
.
.
.
.
.
Once upon a time, the sky had a dream. He met a boy who showed him what he was missing out on as a part of nature and made him feel... everything possible to feel.
Sadness, happiness, anger, fear.
Love.
He isn't alone anymore.
Their love really is a special one, Naminé concludes as she watches Roxas release a helium balloon to the heavens with a note tied to it.
I love you, Sora.
Forever and always.
Love may make the world go around, but with you, I don't need the whole world.
All I need is the sky above me...
...There is no letting go.
.
.
.
The teen and the spirit eye the balloon drift upwards to touch the bleeding navy blue sky.
...There are no happily ever afters; only wishes, and hopes that they meet again, someday.
I will never be with you.
End Part 3