Chapter 4

It was late. She stepped into the house. It all looked just the same but she could feel deeply into her heart that something has changed. She tried to sneak into her bedroom because she didn't want to see Chris. Unfortunately her plan didn't work. He saw her and now he was looking at her with saddened eyes.
Yeah… something was clearly in the wrong place…

"Where have you been until now? Why didn't you return any of my calls?!" he said feeling angry and betrayed at the same time. He loved her, but the fact that he didn't know where she was, the fact that she might've been with somebody else made his heart get weaker and weaker by every second. "Stop, Chris! She wouldn't have done that! She's Ellen! Why are you even thinking about this possibility?!" he thought to himself.

When she finally decided to open her mouth and say something it was like her words weren't here anymore. She felt numb just thinking about where she actually went. She felt weak thinking about the fact that she had left Patrick there all alone. She said something, eventually, looking at him, barely making eye contact.

"Chris… uh… I don't feel like doing this right now. Just… just leave me alone tonight. We'll clear things up tomorrow." she said, trying to control the tears building up into her eyes. She then immediately went upstairs and locked herself in her bedroom. Of course she wanted to tell him where she was, but then he'd know why she didn't tell him before. He'd know she was in love with Patrick.
She didn't know what to do. She didn't know what she'll be talking to Patrick about. She just stood there on the bed trying to figure out what to do or at least what to tell Chris next morning, because she had to tell him something, eventually…

Meanwhile, Patrick kept thinking about how could he tell her about his feelings. How could he tell her that he feels the same without making her freak out again? He knew Ellen, he really did. I mean how could you not know someone after you have, technically, lived with them for 11 years?
He knew she had some 'Meredith' features that she would never expose to anyone. He knew she would freak out again. He knew she would run again. The only thing he didn't know was how to proceed in order not to make her run away. He had eventually fallen asleep while thinking about this.

And so did she.

They both drifted to sleep into each other's minds… It was like they were having a connection. A real one.

The alarm went off and with a little stretch, Ellen dismissed it and got out of bed. She went to the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth. She saw her face in the mirror: her eyes were a little puffy and she had a headache from the other day's crying.

"This is going to be a long day…" she thought and started to get dressed in some casual clothes.

They had a week off because of the accident and that meant she would have to stay at home for most of the time. And of course she wanted to, she loved to spend time with her family and especially with her girls, but at this point, she wanted to avoid Chris. She wanted to escape her life right now. She wanted to stay in her little bubble and think. She still loved Chris. She really did. He was the nicest guy she's ever known and he was great with the babies, but their chemistry started to fade... she wasn't so in love with him as she was in the beginning.

But with Patrick... With Patrick was something else. He had such beautiful eyes and such a gorgeous smile and just the thought of it made her heart melt. They were best friends. It was like she was his second wife and he was her second husband. But with all the accusations from both of their spouses they had never cheated on either of them. They might have flirted. Maybe. But they never kissed or did anything else off the camera.

"You can't leave this marriage, Ellen. You can't just walk away! He has a wife and three children. You have a husband and two kids. You can't just ruin two people's lives. And the kids' dreams about soul mates" she thought to herself, denying her feelings as much as she could.

"But still, his wife divorced him..." she shook her head at this thought.

"Ellen Kathleen Pompeo, you have to stop thinking about him this way! It's not going to happen!"

After she got dressed she realized she had no idea what to tell Chris. She had to tell him the truth, though...
She unlocked the bedroom door and went downstairs. The smell of pancakes tickled her nostrils. She went to the kitchen.

"Good morning, honey" she said and took a sit on a chair.

"Good morning" he replied with a grumpy voice.

She knew this voice very well. It was his "after-crying" voice. She felt bad. She had hurt him, and she didn't mean that.

"Do you want pancakes?" he eventually asked.

"Yes, thank you."

She hated this kind of empty conversations. She had to tell him somehow..

"Honey... you know, yesterday... I'm sorry..." she started stammering but she was cut off by him.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to... I-I..." he looked down. He had tears forming in his eyes.

"No, honey, look at me" she lifted his chin and looked into his eyes.
"Yesterday, I saw on the TV that Jillian filed the divorce papers to Patrick and I called him to tell him that I'm sorry. Then he had an accident. That's when you called me..." she continued and told him everything. Well, almost everything... She 'forgot' to mention the kiss…

He was shocked. He wasn't expecting that. He thought she cheated on him and he felt sorry now.

She felt guilty for not telling him the most important part, but she couldn't break her marriage, nor his heart for something even she wasn't sure about.

"Do you mind taking care of the girls? I have to visit Patrick at the hospital... I need to talk to him about filming, and stuff..." she lied. She couldn't tell him why she was going there. In fact, she wasn't sure either.

"Yes, of course. Tell him that I'm sorry about what happened." and saying that he pecked her lips.

She took her coat and car keys and left, kissing the girls and waving at them.

So, here's the 4th chapter everybody! Thank y'all for your patience and reviews! I do it all for you, xoxo!