A/N : Not mine. Many thanks to the author for her work. Not money made out of it, just load of fun. And time. And an increased workload to do later.

Chapter 2 : Therapy

"Doctor Katsuko? I went into Seimei's room a few days ago."

"Yes, and?"

"I— What is a 'brother complex' doctor?"

"Um, it's an excessive love for one's brother, a desire to protect so strong it turns obsessive."

Ritsuka compared her definition to his brother's photo album. His mind elsewhere, he kept silent in his therapist's office. She was used to it by now. He was an easy child but very guarded. She idly watched his tail and ears moving slowly of their own accord, most certainly in sync with his thoughts.

"What troubles you, Ritsuka?"

"I found out things about Seimei that don't match my memories of him. Can a person loves so strongly and still be mean or cruel to others?"

"A human is a complex being. Nothing is clear-cut. Various aspects of your personality assert themselves depending on your social and mental environment. You are perceived differently by your family, your friend, your schoolmates, your teacher."

"I love Seimei, sensei. But if he was nice to me only, if he's not good at heart, does this love make me someone—bad?"

"It doesn't matter who you love. It's the feeling that counts."

Ritsuka stretched out on the couch and lapsed back into silence. His therapist still considered this a fruitful session. The boy seemed willing to reveal more of himself. She was hopeful.

"Katsuko-sensei, Loveless is an ugly word, isn't it ?"

"It's a lie. No-one is loveless. You might feel like it is, but it doesn't make it true."

"But Beloved is the antonym, isn't it?" he insisted.

"You've put some serious thought on the matter Ritsuka. Do you want to share what happened?"

She saw him shut her out. His stroke of trust was done.

"Nothing happened, sensei. But sometimes, I wonder if I want Him to come back. I'm not so sure now. I have — friends who seem okay with me now. "

When he arrived the next week, he seemed slightly off. She assumed he would talk in his own time if he felt comfortable enough. She offered him sweets, hoping to draw a smile from the teen. He chose a lollipop, assuredly something she wouldn't have associated with him.

"A lollipop? I didn't know you liked them." she wondered aloud, trying to get him to speak.

"Oh, they remind me of happy moments." he replied and smiled sadly, memories of days spent with Soubi and Kio invading his mind. Bouts of melancholy still plagued him more often than not. "What is a masochist, sensei?" he finally asked.

She seemed surprised by the question and frowned slightly. Still the kid was opening up. He had talked more the last session then the two previous months combined. She decide to indulge him. She always doted on him anyway.

"It's a person who derives pleasure from pain — physical or emotional— given under certain circumstances." She paused. "It also usually preludes a sexual relationship."

"I see." He pondered her words, his tail moving slowly on the floor, his hand absent-mindedly rubbing one of his cat-ear. He had a sick feeling that sadly, pain couldn't simply be reduced to foreplay for Soubi. "So, is it wrong?"

"It depends. It is not conventional but providing it's not the only mode of communication and it's consensual, there's no harm done. Manner of speaking."

Ritsuka frowned. He was right, that was not Soubi. He took his time to formulate his thoughts. He wanted his question to be accurate.

"What about someone who believes violence as discipline is okay? Is that masochism too? "

"Only if the finality is sex and if there are limits to it. This is a very codified practice." She stopped and looked intently at him. "Ritsuka, I worry. What have you been doing recently? "

The teen felt the shift in the conversation. He had to phrase his next questions very carefully because soon, Doctor Katsuko will be writing untruthful and embarrassing comments about him.

"I've just been thinking a lot recently, sensei. I don't condone violence, I hope you believe me. But I was wondering about pain. Since Seimei — disappeared," he supplied, unable to say 'died' anymore, "mom is so sad. It is — painful. I'm trying to understand, that's all."

"You are a sweet child, Ritsuka. Pain is a nomal reaction to grief. It will pass someday and recede to a dull ache. One day, you will get up and relive the good memories of your brother without a sharp pain."

"Do you think so, sensei?" He smiled sadly. "That would feel good."

Doctor Katsuko waited for him to speak again. His attitude belied his words. The frown, the twitching tail, his forceful grip on the couch, all his body shouted disbelief.

"Can someone really find comfort in pain? In being hurt?"

"Yes. But it is usually people who have been deeply hurt ad wronged. Some abused children would grow up into adults believing pain is acceptable. Something shifted in their behavioural paradigm because they had been made to consider love and pain as inseparable, because this is the only path they know of and are comfortable with."

"We are not talking about masochism, are we?"

"No Ritsuka. We are not."

"Can nothing be done?"

"It is never hopeless Ritsuka. But the path can be very difficult . They do not apprehend love as we do. Some can somehow disconnect their body from their feelings or mind. They need patience, empathy and kindness. Mostly, they need a competent therapist." She looked at him, trying to decipher the swirl of facial expressions. "You're being very serious and talkative recently. I am very pleased to see you progress so much. I'm looking forward the next session."

"See you next week then, sensei." he replied as he closed her office door.