Authors Note: Oh my gosh! Have you guys heard the news? Disney is making a live-action version of Winnie the Pooh! I'm so excited for it, especially because of the plot: An adult Christopher Robin returns to the Hundred Acre Wood and reunites with his old friends… sounds oddly familiar right? Just in reverse.

Now, we catch up with some more familiar faces…

Meanwhile, outside Central Park Zoo, a group of three police officers were gathered, awaiting the arrival of the Detective Inspector, who had gone inside to talk to staff about the animals sighted earlier that day. They were all sat at a table playing with a deck of cards

"Got any fives?" One of the officers asked his friend, looking up from the set of cards in his gloved hands. The officer on the other side of the table shook his head.

"Go Fish," he said and the first officer groaned with irritation.

"Will you people focus?!" a voice barked at them. Recognizing the voice of the Detective Inspector, the police officers stopped playing and jumped to their feet, standing in an orderly style at the detective glared at them with obvious dislike. The Inspector was a short, red haired woman clad in uniform with dark blue eyes and light freckles on her face. Her dog, an average sized white terrier with a brown splotch on his back and left ear, along with a red collar with a green question mark around his neck, sat at her heels, tongue hanging out.

"Sorry DI Vick," the officers chorused. Yeah, that was her name; last name: Vick, first name: Darby.

One of the officers yelped with terror as Darby's dog began pulling at his trouser leg, growling. "Get it off!" he tried to kick the terrier away. Darby rolled her eyes and whistled.

"Buster, let go. You don't know where he's been," she told her pet, who obediently returned to her side. The officer shot the dog a menacing glance. How could something so small be so annoying?

"So, what did you find out, ma'am?" one officer, Sidney Pierson piped up after clearing his throat. Darby groaned and rolled her eyes, kneeling down and petting Buster on the head.

"Well, according to the head keeper no animals have escaped, and when I told him the part about a stripy kangaroo he laughed in my face. That's exactly the response you want when you're trying to do a serious investigation," she replied sarcastically. She looked off to the side, wondering what to do now. The police department had been called dozens of times, all for the same reasons. Calls from people hiding in their houses, staring out their windows as a pair of kangaroos and a huge friggin' bear wandered down the street. Animal control had already been called and the next thing you know they were getting a bunch of calls about wolves! Seriously, what was this, a jungle?

"Do you think this was all some kind of practical joke?" another officer asked. Darby shrugged and shook her head.

"If this was a joke, then how could we get so many damn calls about it? We don't get thirty four flipping calls about the same thing from thirty four different people if it's a prank. Something fishy is going on here, ladies. Fish aren't involved, but a bunch of other animals are. Don't know where these animals came from, but I've got a pretty decent plan. We're gonna split into two teams, one will retrace the animals' trail back to wherever it is they came from; the other will go searching for them. We're getting calls pretty fast back at the station, so we'll track them that way," Darby explained her plan, grabbing her black sunglasses from her uniform's front pocket and putting them on for no reason whatsoever, probably just to look cool while explaining the plot to the others.

"Pierson, you're with me. We're gonna track the animals," she nodded at one of the officers. Another one of the officers, Wilson Gunn, moved to stand beside Darby.

"Okay, so since I'm obviously going to lead the search party to find where the animals came from-" he began before Darby slapped him on the shoulder.

"Since when did you get the right to give out the orders? Last time I looked I was in charge of you," she gave Gunn an evil glare that was fierce enough to scare Medusa. He quickly stopped talking, only to resume speaking a minute later.

"So… I am leading the search party, right?" he looked down at his red haired boss. Pierson scoffed and folded his arms.

"Yeah right, that dog is a better leader than you," he joked, earning a laugh from the last officer, named Boris Archer. Darby got a cunning smirk on her face.

"You're right, Pierson. That's exactly why Buster is going to lead the search party," she looked slyly up at Gunn, whose jaw dropped.

"Wait, a dog is leading instead of me?!" he sounded appalled. Darby flicked his nose playfully, but roughly.

"Yes! Because this dog has more brains than all three of you nitwits put together, giving him the perfect reason to lead," she bent down and stroked Buster down his back and she could have sworn that he grinned up at the flabbergasted Gunn, too. Like owner, like dog.

"Stop giving her ideas!" Archer punched Pierson on the shoulder roughly. Luckily Pierson's shoulder pads prevented him from actually getting hurt. But he did give Archer a warning glare, anyway.

"Enough goofing around, you idiots!" Darby snapped, raising one hand as if threatening to slap them. Archer and Pierson didn't need to be warned anymore and froze, their eyes the size of pinpricks. She bent down to talk to Buster. "Okay, boy, you find out where these animals came from and take Gunn and Archer with you, okay?" she asked. The terrier gave a couple of happy yips. Normally people would have thought that talking to dogs was strange, but the officers were used to Darby talking to her pet. It was almost as if she had conversations with him that only she could understand. "Yeah, who's a good boy?" she asked playfully as Buster rolled onto his back. She started rubbing his tummy while he squirmed, panting as his owner tickled him. "Who's my good boy?" she repeated. It was then that Darby noticed the looks she was getting from the others and cleared her throat, standing up and folding her arms over her chest. "Okay, let's get down to business," she said curtly. Gunn stepped forward to face her.

"Miss Vick, are you sure that putting an animal in charge is the smartest of choices?" he asked. Darby turned on him and poked him in the chest.

"Don't question my orders, Gunn, or I might just demote you," she threatened, venom dripping from her tone. Gunn stared her down for a while before rolling his eyes and heading over to Archer and Buster. The dog sniffed the air and began heading down the street, Archer and Gunn both complaining about the situation. Darby took a breath to calm herself down and motioned for Pierson to follow her the opposite direction.

"Okay, so do you know where we're going?" he asked the inspector, who chuckled as if he'd asked something ridiculous.

"Of course I do," she replied. I've been working on my detective skills since I was six; if I can't figure this out, nobody can," she cricked her neck from side to side, showing off a little. She shook her short red hair out and put her sunglasses back on.

"Now let's go, Pierson. It's hunting season."

"Ugh! I knew this was gonna be a bad day," Christopher Robin grumbled, gripping his brown hair with frustration. He wrapped his arms around his knees and tucked his head between them, flinching as Winnie the Pooh's massive paw rested on his back.

"Just relax, okay?" he caressed the man's spine, which made him feel strangely safe. Then again, who would be scared when they had a huge black bear as a guardian angel? "We just need to remain calm and deal with it; just like when…when…"

"Ooh, when I went to Heffalump Hollow to catch a heffalump! I was terrified but I kept moving forward and tried to be brave," Roo thought of an example. Something buzzed in Christopher Robin's brain as Roo said that.

He remembered when that happened; he wasn't there at the time but Pooh had told him about it over honey one time. That was the first time Roo had met his best friend, Lumpy, and Pooh, Rabbit and the others had accepted that not all heffalumps were bad. Man, it felt good to have that memory back… so why was his brain buzzing so much?

"Well, well, well," someone drawled from the other end of the hall. The team of animals and human looked in the direction of the voice. An anthropomorphic figure stepped out the elevator. "Long time, no see, Pooh Bear," the whatever-it-was sneered, wringing his paws.

"Um… can I get a little help, here?" someone else asked. The first thingy grunted and tugged his larger companion out of the elevator. Wow, how did he even fit in there in the first place? Pooh gulped and shuddered, feeling Roo grabbing his arm. He knew these two all too well.

"Oh, I found 'em, Stan!" the larger thingamajig, an orange elephant creature, cheered while hopping from foot to foot, making the walls shake and causing a painting to fall off a wall. The smaller one, a blue-purple weasel attempting to stand on two legs, slipped and landed on his rear. When he got up (on four legs this time) he groaned and rubbed his sore bottom, looking up at his large companion.

"What's your problem, Heff, ya big palooka?" he sneered. Heff, the elephant, chuckled nervously and squashed himself tighter in the hallway. While Heff was very large, he was still way smaller than most elephants. Christopher Robin looked from the weasel to the elephant, babbling incoherently. He tipped backwards and Roo managed to catch him.

"Sorry, Stan," the elephant mumbled. Once Christopher Robin could stand again (though not without leaning against the wall for support) he addressed the two new animals.

"Okay, who the heck are you?" he asked groggily, debating for the zillionth time that day whether he was drunk or not. Stan squinted at the human.

"Oh, Christopher Robin, right? Heard a lot about you; you look a lot less cheerful in person," the weasel commented. "Anyway, I'm Stan, and this here is my friend and sidekick, Heff," he gestured from himself to the elephant, who happily waved.

"Hi," he chirped and Christopher Robin awkwardly waved back, his hand shaking all the while. Roo hopped forward to stand in front of the others.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, folding his arms. Heff gasped and tumbled into the back wall.

"GIANT MOUSE!" he trumpeted. At that moment, an elderly woman in a bath robe with curlers in her hair stormed out of her apartment.

"What's all the ruckus out here? Can't you young'uns play your sports somewhere else?!" she yelled at everyone before going back inside and slamming the door. There was a long period of silence afterwards, Christopher Robin mesmerized at how she hadn't noticed a big black bear, two kangaroos, and weasel and a huge friggin' elephant in the hallway. Stan was the first to speak.

"We're here because-"

"Don't tell us, Stan. We don't have any honey," Pooh Bear held up a paw before the woozle-weasel-whatever-he-was, could finish speaking. The weasel rolled his eyes as far back as they could go.

"Sheesh, always one to judge, Pooh, we ain't here for the honey," he told the black bear. Pooh looked across at Roo, who mirrored his look of bewilderment.

"So why are you here?" and better yet, how did you get here," Roo put on his toughest face, which definitely scared Heff. Stan leaned back against his pachyderm friend.

"Now why would we tell you how we got here? That would just give the game away," he chuckled, and Heff laughed along with him, though Christopher Robin put money on the huge animal not having a clue why.

"The g-g-game?" Winnie stammered, hugging Roo's tail close to her small, stripy body. Stan looked down at the little kangaroo creature.

"Yes. You like games, little one? 'Cause this is one doozy of a game," the weasel had a hint of malice in his voice that made chills race down Christopher Robin's spine. Okay, so these guys were definitely villains. So why wasn't he running? He tried to move his legs and make his way to the stairs at the other end of the hall but he was practically frozen with all that was happening.

"Enough stalling, Stan!" Roo barked, pulling Winnie closer to him. "You tell us what you're doing or I'll kick you into next week!"

Heff whimpered and shook his smaller weasel friend. "Tell him, Stan! Tell him!" he rambled. Stan glowered up at his companion before locking eyes with Pooh.

"We're here to get rid of you, of course!" he cracked his knuckles the best he could… well; he didn't have knuckles anymore so he cracked his paws instead. "We were created so that Christopher Robin would forget about you. And if there's no you, then there's nobody to remember," he let out a villainous cackle. Pooh arched his fur covered back and bared his sharp teeth.

"You're not laying one claw on me!" he backed down the hall a little, but Stan just tutted at him.

"Tsk, tsk, Pooh. There are two things that you should know. One," he raised one paw in the air. "There are two of us and one of you," he sat on his haunches so he could hold up his second paw. "And two…" he smirked. "One of us is a giant heffalump that could squish you!" with that, he jumped onto one of Heff's tusks and the elephant charged forward, making a trumpeting noise with his trunk. Finally able to feel his legs, Christopher Robin ran as fast as he could down the hall, Pooh, Roo and Winnie close behind him. Christopher along with the kangaroo siblings turned left when they reached the end of the hall, beginning to rush down another hallway, but Pooh turned right and began thundering down the stairs. Heff and Stan followed Pooh, and the bear could hear the others calling his name as he was pursued.

Pooh ran down flight after flight of stairs, looking behind him briefly to see the massive (but still rather small in reality) elephant barely managing to fit in the small space, his hooves leaving large dents in the stairs. Pooh made it to the bottom and ran past a new doorman, who looked absolutely petrified. The man's eyes trailed after the bear, then the elephant with the woozle on its tusk. After the animals had rushed out the door he stood there blinking for a few seconds, bewildered, before turning around and heading into the back room.

"I need a drink," he muttered as he held his head and shook it, memories of his colleague telling him about a scary bear returning to him. Gasping with realization he reached for the phone of the desk and dialled the number.

"Hello? Is this animal control? There's a huge bear here with an elephant and some weird rodent thing. Get over to Grove Street Apartment right now!"

Darby Vick sat in the driver's seat of her car, her hands clasped on the wheel with Pierson sitting in the passenger seat, looking out for any suspicious activity. Darby jumped a little with surprise but remained calm on the road as the cars radio made static like sounds, signalling a call from the station.

"Detective Vick, are you there?" a female voice from the other end of the line asked.

"Talk to me," Darby replied, not taking her eyes off the road ahead.

"We just got another call about a bear," she informed her. Darby smirked determinedly as she received the news. This was just what they needed since they hadn't had any reports of the animals for quite some time. "But, have you got any reports about a rodent and an elephant prior to this?"

Darby glanced down at the radio. "No, we haven't. Seriously what kind of zoo is this?" she smacked one side of the wheel. "Where the hell are these animals?" she asked.

"Grove Street Apartment, according to the caller. Where are you now?"

Darby looked at the GPS on the dashboard. Grove Street was only a few block away. "Not far. Just give me a minute or two," with that the radio buzzed off and Darby shifted her eyes to look at Pierson.

"You did get the tranquiliser darts, right?" she asked. Pierson nodded his head towards the back of the car and Darby gave him an approving smile. "Perfect. It ain't rabbit season no more; it's bear season," she slammed on the accelerator as they turned a right corner. This animal business had gone on far enough. Bears, kangaroo's, wolves and now elephants? How crazier could this day get?

"WHAT THE-" Darby gasped as the cars on the road in front of her skidded to a halt. She crashed into the back of the car in front of hers and she cringed as the car lurched forward, signalling another crashing into her boot. Darby flopped her head down on the steering wheel, setting off the horn and making it blare loudly. She lifted her head from the wheel and opened the door, motioning for Pierson to do the same. She pulled her shades off her head and slid them up her nose looking around for something.

"What happened?" Pierson was asking a couple that had emerged from the car in front. Darby was more concerned for her own car right now. Her Toyota Echo had cost quite a bit and now the front and back of it had huge dents. UGH! This was gonna be so much paperwork!

"We didn't see," the man from the crash replied, checking to see if his wife was okay. "The cars just stopped without any warning."

Darby was intrigued by this and started heading up the row of cars. There must have been at least fifteen in the collision and she would most likely find answers at the head of the line. Turns out a lot of other people had the same idea.

"What the heck did you do?!" someone yelled.

"You'd better have a good explanation!" another person snapped.

"What was that thing?"

"What thing?"

"That big black thing!"

"Big black thing? Was I the only one who saw the frickin' elephant?"

Darby shoved through the crowd to the middle aged fellow in the center who was being interrogated. "Will you all just back off?!" she yelled at the crowd. "I'm a Detective Inspector and I'll handle the questions myself!" with that everyone scattered, complaining about the state of their cars. Darby noticed that the man looked a little shaken up. "Are you hurt?" she asked him.

"No…" he shook his head. Darby put her hands on her hips and looked off towards the Apartment.

"Could you explain to me what you saw?" she took out a pad and pen from her pocket. The man leaned against his car and gulped.

"It was flipping insane," he commented. "I was just driving down here when this massive bear comes jumping over the car. Look at the paw prints on the windshield if you don't believe me," he pointed at the window. Darby walked round to the front of the car and examined the prints on it. They were large and made by something with very large pads. She was no animal expert, but Darby could tell that this was her bear.

"And there was an elephant according to some other witnesses," Darby looked over at the man who was getting back into his car.

"Yeah, this elephant chased after the bear. And there was an… an otter or something on its horn-things," the man flailed his hands around wildly. Darby jotted down 'otter' on her pad. Though she knew how dumb people could be when it came to animals, she needed to take down any possible evidence. God, this was the strangest case of her career.

"Okay so which way did these animals go?" Darby asked. Suddenly some trumpeting was heard along with the thundering of hooves. A black bear rounded the corner and started running along the queue of cars followed by a small orange elephant. Darby thought that it was half the size of a normal elephant… but why the hell was it orange?

"Um… that way, ma'am," he pointed shakily after the animals. If she wasn't focusing on the retreating animals she would have said some snarky comment like 'Ya think?', but there was no time for that! She started rushing back to the car to grab the tranquiliser stuff, grabbing Pierson by the arm and tugging him along.

"Will you concentrate? We need to get the guns!" she snapped as she pulled open the back door. The bear had turned around and was coming back in their direction, through the scattering crowd. Darby looked through the scope of her tranquiliser gun and struggled to aim it at the approaching animals. The bear could wait, but this elephant needed to be taken care of. Biting her tongue, she prepared to pull the trigger.

But-

"GAH!" she yelped as she felt something sharp stab her right shoulder. She collapsed against the car, dropping the gun and could only watch as the animals trampled past her down the swiftly emptying streets. As the animals took a sharp turn past the apartment building she reached behind her and plucked the whatever-it-was out of her shoulder, flinching as its sharp length was pulled from her flesh. She looked down at the tranquiliser dart in her hand and then at Pierson, who was quaking with fear.

"Um… missed," he bit his lip nervously. Darby started towards him, fists clenched and eyes firing behind her sunglasses. Pierson backed away, the anger emanating from her as if she was ablaze and smoke was coming off her. She ended up stumbling and bracing herself against the car. Knowing that the tranquiliser dart was taking its toll on her she gave up on strangling Pierson and opened the door to the front seat, falling into it. The dart hadn't been in her long enough to knock her out… maybe… but right now that was the last thing on her mind. She looked past the cars that people had abandoned in the road at the corner the animals had run down.

"It's on now," she hissed, slitting her eyes.

Pooh had managed to slip into a dumpster when he turned the corner, just in time for his pursuers to miss him as they followed.

"Where is he?" Pooh could hear Stan say faintly from his spot amongst the garbage. Pooh had been living in the woods for years now, but the smell of the trash was disgusting compared to even the flesh of the dead animals he had been forced to eat. Sure that stuff may sound gross to a human, but to a bear it was the smell of heaven. Stinky heaven.

"I don't see him," Heff replied, the sound of his huge feet audible from inside the dumpster. Pooh pressed one of his large ears against the side of the container, listening to every one of Heff's steps.

"Where could he have gone…?" Stan muttered. Pooh could imagine the woozle stroking his chin as he said that.

"Maybe he turned invisible," Heff suggested, and the sound of flesh hitting flesh signalled that Stan had face-palmed… or face-pawed in this instance.

"Yes, you idiot, he turned invisible," the weasel replied. Heff gasped with suspense.

"So where do you think he's standing?" he asked. Pooh heard some large thuds.

"Quit jumping around, you moron, I was being sarcastic," Stan got his companion to calm down. Heff let out a low trumpet.

"Aww, well now I'm embarrassed," Heff could be heard stomping down the street.

"You should wake up embarrassed," Pooh heard Stan remark before their steps faded into nothingness. Just to be sure, Pooh Bear stayed in the dumpster for a few more minutes in case there was a surprise attack. Finally he stretched out his neck and pushed the lid of the container open, adjusting his eyes to the sunlight and looking around. The New York streets were uncharacteristically empty since everyone had hidden inside their homes. Sighing with relief, Pooh clambered out of the dumpster and landed with a thump on his behind. Shaking the junk from his fur and gobbling a few leftover fries while he was at it (he's a bear, don't judge him) he began heading back towards the apartment.

He needed to get back to his friends.

Endnote: And there we have it, another chapter done. So, how did you guys like the appearances of Darby and Buster from My Friends Tigger and Pooh and Stan and Heff from The New Adventure of Winnie the Pooh? More coming soon!