"I don't believe this," Christopher Robin sighed as he paced back and forth down the hall. It seemed that most of the people around had evacuated the building due to the crazy animal rampages, so the young man wasn't surprised that nobody had come out of their houses to see him walking back and forth while a kangaroo and some weird stripy thing stared at him as if he were a TV screen. "Even if Pooh gets out of this then-"

"-the same thing will keep on happening."

Christopher Robin jumped and spun round on his heels as the big black bear he was talking about emerged from the stairwell. He smelt a little bit and his fur was messed up… well, more than it already was anyway. He strode over to Christopher and stood before him.

"It seems the more we interact with you, the more bad things happen…" Pooh looked off to the side and added in a bitter tone, "like falling down a crack in the ground after being forgotten."

"Oh shut up," the last thing Christopher Robin wanted at a time like this was to feel guilty, especially for something that wasn't entirely his fault. "That was just an accident!"

"There aren't any accidents," Pooh argued half-heartedly. Ugh! If this wasn't a ferocious full-grown bear Christopher would probably kicked him in the rear. Roo and Winnie stood a few feet away, looking awkwardly down at the ground. They were all silent for a few minutes, and then Christopher Robin decided that if they didn't get on with whatever it was they were supposed to be doing he'd get a brain tumour from all of this.

"So what now?" The young man asked impatiently, folding his arms and tapping one foot against the carpeted floor. Roo raised his paw slowly and cleared his throat. Pooh nodded for him to speak, and the kangaroo obliged.

"The woods," he said simply. Christopher Robin raised a brow and mouthed 'what?' before Roo carried on. "When we first came to this place we woke up in a forest or something. Did you, Pooh?"

What the hell were these animals talking about? Christopher looked over at Pooh, hoping to get some kind of explanation. The black bear was sitting on his hindquarters grooming himself.

"Yes, not far from a lake if I remember correctly. It was a long time ago, though," Pooh Bear replied. Roo and Winnie shared an identical smile and high-fived.

"Yes, this is it!" Roo exclaimed. "Maybe if we go back to that spot we'll find a way to get Christopher Robin back to the Hundred Acre Woods. If we can be sent here, it might work in reverse!"

Pooh stood up and grinned. "That's a great idea, Roo. Though I'm not sure how we can fall up. I'm a bear of very little brain and physics confuses me."

"We'll figure that part out when we get there," Winnie suggested, hopping onto her older brother's shoulder and hugging his head.

"Ahem," Christopher Robin waited until he got all three of the animals to look at him. "Oh hello, I um… I just wanted to ask-" he spoke in a harsh tone. "How the heck am I going to get a kangaroo, a huge-ass bear and a freaky striped marsupial through New York to a forest where there is a possibly non-existent portal to a made up place without getting caught and shoved in an asylum for lunatics?!"

"That could help you out," Pooh said bitterly. "You certainly have some anger problems they could fix."

Christopher scoffed and leaned against the wall. "Well I'd like to see you remain calm when you've just had the shit scared out of you by your old imaginary friends. I mean today is just the most screwed up thing that's ever happened to me. My building's been evacuated because of some invading talking animals. There are reports of animals causing chaos all over the news. An elephant almost squished us to death and, oh I forgot, THERE ARE SNAKES IN MY APARTMENT!" He finished ranting and balled his clammy fists, breathing heavily through his nose like a crazed bull. Pooh just gave him a blank stare.

"Just like I said: anger problems," he then turned and started trundling down the stairs, Roo and Winnie waiting until Christopher started moving to follow after.

"This is madness," the man repeated over and over again. "Why did this have to happen to me? Why couldn't this happen to the asshole that lives down the hall?"

They traipsed through the deserted lobby and out into the street. People were literally everywhere, so Christopher Robin tugged Pooh back inside. "Crap," he cursed, knowing that there was no way they wouldn't be spotted if they went outside now.

"Now what?" Winnie spoke his mind, climbing from Roo's shoulder to his. Christopher flinched at this, but luckily restrained himself from brushing the tiny kangaroo thing off him. He didn't want to be responsible for hurting a kid, no matter how mad he was at these three crazy animals. Pooh turned his head to look up at Christopher Robin.

"Well, what do you think?" he asked. Christopher snorted and looked away.

"Don't look at me; when did I suddenly become the head of this travelling freak show?" he asked. "There's no way we can get through here without being seen, unless you somehow turn invisible. And it's not like I can just shove the three of you in a box and carry you to the woods. We'd need something that could move and-" it was like a light bulb went off above his head.

"A van!" he exclaimed. Winnie tapped the side of his head.

"What's a van?" she asked. Christopher thought of a way to explain it that the animals would understand.

"It's like a big moving box," he began. "Someone sits in the front and makes it move and you can carry a bunch of stuff in the back of it."

"Like a bear?" asked Pooh.

"Or us?" Roo gathered Winnie in his arms.

"Exactly." He felt proud of himself for coming up with a plan. And luckily he knew just the place to get a van.

"6396 glasses of milk on the wall

6396 glasses of milk,

Take one down, pass it around

You've got 6395 bottles of milk on the wall!"

Roo and Winnie sang their song, examining the pictures on the walls of the building. Christopher Robin had sent them back upstairs when he left to get this so-called 'van' and to pass the time the brother and sister had been entertaining themselves by singing their favourite song from the Hundred Acre Wood. The young man had been gone for about half an hour now, and the whole time Roo and Winnie were singing, Pooh had been pacing back and forth a few feet away from the stairwell. Roo had been a tad worried the whole time because in all this time Pooh Bear had not smiled once, just stared down at the carpet through slitted eyes, though he didn't voice his concern out loud for fear of worrying Winnie. Eventually Winnie got bored of singing and flopped down on the floor, her limbs spread around her so she was in a snow angel position. While she was distracted, Roo hopped over to Pooh.

"Pooh… are you okay?" He asked, reaching out and putting a paw on the black bear's shoulder. Pooh was quiet for a little while before answering his question… with another question.

"Is it worth it?"

"Pardon?" Roo blinked a couple of times, the confusion evident all over his face. Pooh turned his head and looked into Roo's eyes.

"He's not the same, Roo… he's changed. He's… too different." Pooh looked close to tears. Roo had never seen Winnie the Pooh like this ever! The sight was so alien that it broke his heart.

"Of course he's the same… he's our Christopher Robin." Roo rubbed Pooh's back, only to have Pooh stand up and begin pacing again.

"No, it's not like that… he doesn't run around with a balloon pretending that he's flying anymore. He doesn't have a toy race car in the middle of his room, he probably doesn't even remember the promise he made me…" Pooh's voice cracked and he bit his tongue hard enough that it drew blood. Roo still didn't like the idea of having some warm gunk in his body.

"What promise?" Roo asked with his voice gentle. Pooh stopped pacing and sat on his hindquarters, looking straight up at the ceiling.

"It was before you and your mother moved to the Hundred Acre Wood…" Pooh looked like he was in pain as he spoke. "Piglet, Tigger, Rabbit, Eeyore and I went looking for Christopher Robin when he went missing… okay he hadn't gone missing, just to this place called 'school'. The night before he disappeared, he told me: 'Even if we're apart, I'll always be with you.' And when we found him at 'Skull' (long story) he said that we'd always be together, forever and ever… what happened to the little boy that made up the centre of my world… our world?" Pooh did cry a little then, but he turned his face away from Roo so that the kangaroo wouldn't be able to see it. Roo reached a paw out, but hesitated, wondering if Pooh would appreciate the gesture or not. Finally he gave in and just wrapped his arms as best he could around Pooh's neck, burying his muzzle in his shoulder fur.

"Everything will be back to the way it was soon," he whispered softly. "Christopher Robin will accept that we exist, we'll play Pooh Sticks together, he and I will fly our kites together and the two of you can play with his model planes just like you always used to." Roo put fantasy after fantasy into Pooh's head, wanting that very little brain of his to process that they were going to fix the mess that had been made all those years ago.

"I want to believe that, Roo… but we are figments of Christopher Robin's imagination. If he doesn't believe… how can we?" He seemed confused. The black bear raised one of his paws and held it in front of his face. "For so long I believed that I was real, that I mattered, that I had a purpose… but now that I look like this, that I can feel pain, and see what the world is really like… I don't know how I ever used to think that I was anything at all."

Roo was at loss for words. Years down here must have made Pooh Bear's brain grow just a little bit, because he seemed… wise. What he was saying had so much meaning, and even though the old Pooh said meaningful things all the time back in the day, mostly by accident, this was an entirely new kind of meaningful. This kind of meaningful reached deep into Roo's soul and rearranged the furniture in there, giving him a totally new perspective on his existence. What Pooh said about not feeling like he had been real made sense. Roo never felt this much this time yesterday, the world seemed to have more detail, and his senses were all over the place! It was like his old self had been a mere silhouette and suddenly he was whole and opaque, with a core and a being. He felt his heart give an uncomfortable lurch at the discomfort all these thoughts were causing him. Maybe he should change the subject.

"So… when do you think he's coming back?" Roo asked. Pooh sighed and scuffed the carpet with a paw.

"Maybe he's not coming back," the bear huffed. Roo's ears pointed straight up and he blinked a couple of times. Okay, this was officially crazy. Why on earth was the lovable stuffed bear he had grown up with being this pessimistic? This was Eeyore's job!

"What makes you think he wouldn't come back?" Roo asked, crossing his arms. Pooh bared his teeth at some invisible thing on the floor and gently raked his claws along the surface so that they made some slight grooves in it.

"He's angry at us… he doesn't want us! So why shouldn't he make a break for it the first chance he gets? Maybe we should-"

"Okay, the van's out front," footsteps were heard ascending the stairwell. Roo gave Pooh a pointed look, and the black bear's eyes widened in surprise.

"Um… thank you, Christopher Robin," he called down the stairs. As the brunette man emerged from the stairs, he was immediately assaulted with a hug from Winnie, who leapt onto his shoulder and squeezed his head with her tiny arms.

"Yeah! We're finally gonna get home!" She cheered, jumping on the man's head and spinning in circles. After a couple of twists, she fell off, landing in Christopher Robin's arms.

"Careful now," he even gave the little kangaroo/tigger a soft smile before putting her down. So far she was his favourite of this bunch; even though he had never even considered her existence before today (okay that was a lie. When he was little he had sometimes messed around with the idea of Tigger and Kanga having a baby… he'd never considered that it would actually happen though) she was growing on him. She was too adorable to dislike, even if she was a trick his mind was playing on him. "So follow me and we can get going," he gestured for the animals to follow him. Winnie went after him first, then Roo, and then finally Pooh.

"Why is he helping us?" Pooh couldn't wrap his head around that question. "This makes no sense."

"Nothing that's happened today makes sense!" Roo reminded the bear, who sighed in agony at having an argument tossed back at him. There was no time for bickering though, so they trailed behind Christopher Robin until they reached the lobby, standing by the glass doors and staring out onto the street.

"You see that?" Christopher Robin pointed towards a large box-shaped vehicle not too far away from the apartment building. "That's our ride."

Roo looked fascinated. "Where did you get it?" He asked the young man. Christopher looked irritated that they were wasting time with questions, but he figured that the sooner he got them out of the way the sooner he could get these hallucinations (yes he was still convinced that he'd fallen out of bed and hit his head pretty hard that morning) out of his already miserable life.

"I have a friend who runs a van rental place… yes I do have friends." He said almost automatically. Pooh nodded, obviously impressed with the turnout of his old friend's plan.

"So, you know where we're going?" Pooh pressed his nose to the glass, fogging it up with every breath he took. Christopher Robin shrugged his shoulders.

"Not really… but I didn't take a half hour trip to get a van and not plan something." The man felt ridiculous the entire ride. Walking to a van rental place to borrow one that would take him and three freaky talking hallucinations to a magic forest that will take them to a fantasy land full of made up stuffed toys. God, what was he doing? Nevertheless, he was convinced that if he sent them back 'home' this would all go away, so he just needed to get them to the woods and out of his life forever!

"So, tell us." Roo looked expectantly up at Christopher Robin. The human blew his brown fringe out of his eyes and looked at Pooh and Roo.

"You two are gonna ride in the back; that way nobody will be able to see you." He then looked at little Winnie. "And you are gonna sit up front with me. You're small so it'll be hard to spot you, so you can direct me to the place you want to go. Sound good?" He was asking fantasy animals for a confirmation… how much more screwed up could this day get?

Pooh nodded. "It sounds fine to me. Let's go."

Christopher Robin left first, making sure the coast was clear. Usually the streets were bustling with busy people, but they had all gone elsewhere due to the outbreak of animals meaning that they had a clear route from the apartment building to the van, which Cristopher had parked right outside the building so they didn't have far to walk. He opened the back of the van, which was completely empty. Pooh looked around at it sceptically.

"Isn't there any place to sit?" He asked, looking nervous now. Christopher shook his head.

"Nope, I didn't think fake animals needed a place to sit," he shrugged. Roo felt panic rise in his chest and he stood up as straight as he could.

"We are not fake!" He snapped, and Christopher quickly shoved them both in the van. He hissed through his teeth at them.

"Are you insane? Keep your voice down out here; we don't want anyone catching you." He ordered. Roo sneered over at him, feeling anger swirl in the pit of his new stomach and he turned to face away from him, relieved that there was a gap between the two seats up front and the roof so they could get a glimpse of the road. Christopher then helped Winnie into the passenger's seat and locked the back of the van before clambering into the driver's seat

"Ready?" Pooh asked his three companions.

"Yep!" chirped Winnie.

"I sure am!" said Roo.

"Hng." groaned Christopher Robin.

"Then let's go!" Pooh triumphantly pointed forward with his nose. When the van didn't start moving at all he frowned and looked down to see Christopher starting at him with the most flat expression possible. "What now?" The bear asked. Christopher folded his arms across his chest.

"Listen, I'm in charge here, so don't tell me what to do. In fact, let's go over the ground rules." He cleared his throat. "Rule number 1: don't touch anything in the van, especially you!" He glanced at Winnie, who just smiled and waved sweetly.

"Fine." Roo sighed, getting a little annoyed with the human.

"Rule number 2: no pooping in here! I know animals have to go a lot!"

"What?" Roo asked, blinking in confusion. "What's poop?"

Christopher Robin's mouth hung open in disbelief. "You're kidding me right?" He asked. Pooh nudged Roo's shoulder.

"It's the brown stuff you squeeze out of your butt." He told the kangaroo, whose expression didn't change.

"I haven't done that." He seemed a little disgusted at the idea. Winnie raised a paw.

"I have!" She told her big brother, who looked startled.

"Wha- when?!" He asked. Winnie played idly with her long tail.

"Once in the woods… and once in that building in the long hallway," She replied.

"YOU POOPED IN THE HALL- okay, never mind!" Christopher Robin stopped himself from having another nervous breakdown. "And rule number 3 is that there are no catches to this. I am just taking you to the woods, seeing if this stupid plan works, and if it doesn't I am leaving you there, okay? Wild animals do not just walk around the streets like they live there!" He told them the last rule. Pooh seemed miffed to say the least; he just couldn't fathom why his old best friend would want so desperately to get rid of him. What happened to the little boy who made him promise that he'd always be there… even when he was a hundred?

"Just move." Pooh looked away from the young man and began walking to the back of the van. It had gotten to the point where it hurt to look at the human, and Pooh was beginning to feel like there was really nothing to gain from this. For all these years he'd been living in the woods alone, but for all that time he had optimistically clung tightly to the idea that the little boy he loved with every fibre of his being was out there somewhere, missing him and without a way to get to him. That was the thought that kept him going through all the struggling- the close encounters with starvation, hiding from any curious kids that wandered near his home, the lonely nights where all he had for company was a hive of honey and the sounds of the grasshoppers outside of his cave. Occasionally he would even hear an owl hooting, and he would close his eyes and imagine Owl telling him one of his many stories. Pooh felt guilty for finding them boring before; now he would give anything to listen to one of them.

But now that Roo and Winnie were here, now that he'd finally found Christopher Robin, now that he'd seen what the little boy he had loved more than his own existence had become, he had started to feel like it was all for nought. He had got his hopes up and they had come crumbling down around him, and for the first time ever he felt an overwhelming emotion that seemed to be threatening to devour him whole: sadness.

He used to be a happy-go-lucky little bear who didn't even fully understand the meaning of sadness, only that it was something Eeyore felt constantly, and that it could easily go away if you thought of all the happy things in life. So… why was this emotion latching onto him so fiercely? Was this how Eeyore felt constantly? He wished that he could see his donkey friend now, and tell him he understood; maybe that would help him cope. Help both of them cope.

Oh, that's right. He might never see Eeyore again. Christopher Robin was filling him with doubt, and he was doing it so constantly and confidently that Pooh was starting to wonder if it really was true. That they were just hallucinations that would fade away the moment they stepped paw in the woods. He was conflicted. He wanted to get back home, and he wanted to make Christopher Robin believe in them, but he was also petrified of disappearing. If they did disappear like Christopher Robin wanted them to, what would happen? Would the rest of the Hundred Acre Wood vanish, too? He didn't like the thought of not existing. Oh bother. Why couldn't this be a little simpler?

"Penny for your thoughts?" Roo asked as he sat next to the older bear, facing the doors to the van. Pooh grumbled and felt his ears drooping? Did he really want to project all of his issues onto Roo? Did he want the kangaroo to feel the same internal pain as he? He couldn't do that. One of them needed to remain faithful, and it certainly wasn't going to be him. Winnie was too young to understand the potential dangers and twists that would be ahead of them. And Christopher Robin? He just wouldn't care.

Who would care what a hallucination thinks?

"Nothing's wrong, Roo." Pooh faked a smile and put a paw around the younger kangaroo, hoping that he wasn't so transparent that Roo could see through his lies. "Nothing at all."

"Pooh, do you really think he's taking us to the woods?" Roo asked out of the blue, and Pooh looked at him with bewilderment.

"Of course I do," he replied, oblivious as to why he should believe otherwise. "Why in the world would you think he isn't?"

Roo wrung his paws and exhaled slowly. "Isn't it a little weird," he asked, "that Christopher Robin would say that he wanted is out of his life, tell us that there is no such thing as the Hundred Acre Wood, and then take us there? It's a little suspicious, don't you agree?"

Pooh felt something snap in his very little brain. He hadn't considered that. Maybe Christopher Robin was taking them someplace else. Maybe he was going to give them over to those people who had chased them to the apartment building and had shot Roo with that weird… thing. Maybe there were other places he could take them that would do… bad things to them. Pooh remembered a conversation he'd had with Christopher Robin back in his childhood days, where the young boy complained about having to cut open frogs in school. He had told the bear that it had smelt really bad and that he had been disgusted at all the squishy things inside of the frog. Was it possible to cut bears apart? And kangaroos? And-

"I'm sure he's taking us there," Pooh quickly insisted, swallowing hard and looking away so Roo wouldn't see the worry in his eyes.

"You really have faith in him, don't you?" Roo asked, leaning against the black bear and finding comfort in his shaggy fur. Pooh slowly, almost robotically, nodded his head.

"I do." He said, emotionlessly. Emotions had been strangers to him until recently, and he was trying his best to recreate that feeling of having no idea what disappointment was like. Christopher Robin was by far the most mysterious thing Pooh had ever come across. How was it possible for a person to change so drastically? He had so many questions and likely no way to get answers. He just had to rely on their human friend to do the right thing.

Christopher Robin was their only hope.

Endnote: I am a very unreliable person; if I say I'll be quick with a chapter, I really don't know what that means. Just keep in mind that I am never giving this story up until it's over.

So the next chapter has a little more stuff going on in it, and will hopefully be more entertaining than this. But hey, the journey is beginning and we have Pooh of all characters falling into depression. What has the world come to?

See ya next time.