A/N: Thank you to my awesome reviewers - you made my day! Here's a long one-piece chapter loaded with fluff (apologies in advance!). Until next time!

Chapter Eighteen: To Be Torn In Two

Thunder rumbled menacingly in the distance, crawling closer towards the lands that surrounded Los Angeles on a calm day. The sun appeared to have been swallowed by the clouds, thick and grey, ominous with wicked flashes of lightning occasionally slicing through them. Inside the Pulido hacienda, Lolita remained in her room, reading one of novels that Diego had lent her some time ago. Lifting her head, she saw the approaching darkness and sighed thirdly.

"The weather seems to match your heart at the moment, hermanita," Consuela noted, entering with a tea tray. Setting her load down, she poured a cup of the steaming beverage and gave it to the girl before lighting more candles in the room. "It has been three days and you still do not leave the hacienda or take guests… everyone is starting to worry."

Sipping her tea, Lolita faced the woman and shook her head. "You know what I've decided, Consuela. Until I can sort out my feelings and make sense of what happened, I don't want to go out and see anyone… besides, with Yolanda's wedding on the way, things have been busy." Her brows furrowed as she remembered another family member who had refrained from visitors for a time. "…Consuela, is Carlotta all right? It's one thing to refuse guests, but to refuse to leave the house when we all know how social she is?"

Consuela nodded, already having an inkling of why the elder sister remained in the same state as Lolita. Still, she said nothing, refusing to gossip about the woman's troubles just as she refused to say to anyone why Lolita was claiming solitude. Embracing the young woman, she kissed her brow and smoothed her hair back, offering an encouraging smile. "You will figure it all out, Lolita…I know you shall." Excusing herself, she gathered the tray and left the room in search of Yolanda. Lolita needed time to acknowledge her feelings for the two sides of the same man, and though she desperately wished she could confess the truth, she had given her word of honor to Don Diego…his secret would be his to tell when the moment was right.

Setting the teacup down, Lolita walked to the window and gazed out, seeing the approaching storm. Reaching up, she touched her locket, remembering how she had accidentally brushed her lips against Diego's just a few nights before. She couldn't explain it, but such a simple kiss shocked her, because it felt so right. Shame burned within her, however, for she had kissed Zorro, and he had made it evident that he cared deeply for her. How could she betray the man who had saved her countless times, but how could she reject the man who had always welcomed and accepted her no matter what…?

The sound of the door clicking shut made her turn, wondering if Consuela or Catalina had come inside. Instead, she found Carlotta glaring at her, her cheeks stained with tears. "Carlotta?" Lolita asked, taking a step towards her. "Are you all right? What's wrong-?"

"'What's wrong?'" she echoed, her voice trembling as she stalked towards her stepsister. "Are you that self-absorbed that you can't figure out why I'm here?"

"Carlotta-" Lolita started, jumping back as Carlotta snapped and pointed an accusing finger at her.

"No! Be quiet!... all my life, I've been trying to be the perfect woman, to find a decent man who wants me, and we come to this strange world where those are far and few in between…men of good blood and decent money, there are only a handful here in Los Angeles! And what did you have to do? You charmed them with your brashness, your sharp tongue, your reckless actions! I can't fathom what they see in you… but you stole both Don Diego and Don Ricardo from me… all they think and talk about is you!"

"But I don't-!"

"Quiet!" she all bur screamed, still crying as she continued to spit out angry words at her step-sibling. "You… you little plain, drab, insignificant thing… you are nothing, you always will be…you always challenged and embarrassed me in front of everyone, even since our parents were wed…and now my baby sister has been proposed to before I have. Do you know how humiliating that is?! And it's all your fault - I hate you, do you hear me?!" she cried, grabbing Lolita's shoulders and shaking her. "I hate-!"

"STOP!" Lolita screamed, shoving her away so fiercely that Carlotta fell to the floor. Gathering her skirts, Lolita felt hot tears fall from her eyes as she ran away from her room, bolting down the stairs and out through the back like a madwoman. Making a beeline for the stables, she searched out Bonita and threw herself upon the horse's back, kicking her heels into the mare's sides.

"Lolita!" she could hear both her father and Consuela shout, their cries becoming faint as the menacing thunder became louder. She didn't care about the storm…she didn't care about anything at the moment…filled with hurt and confusion, she wished the storm would engulf her and make her vanish as the first drops of rain pelted her from the Heavens.

~Z~

"Hurry, Bernardo!" Diego shouted, shielding himself from the downpour as best as he could with his serape and hat. He and Bernardo had just departed from visiting Don Ignacio Torres – or Don Nacho – who had recently fallen from his horse and injured his arm. Seeing how the sky had darkened, he and Bernardo had excused themselves and gone riding as quickly as they could back to the de la Vega hacienda.

Since the day of Alicia de la Cruz's fiesta, Diego felt that his heart was torn. He was elated that Lolita had kissed him and admitted to Consuela that she did indeed have feelings for him, but he felt guilt weigh him down as he knew she must be confused and scared. After all, she had only ever had romantic rendezvouses with Zorro, and he knew that she was true and faithful…kissing "another" man must have mortified her. Still, he could not bring himself to admit his identity to her. He would not be able to rest until Riviera had been placed behind bars far away from them all. Only when he was sure she was safe would he allow himself to come clean to her.

Hearing a horse's frantic whinny, he glanced back to squint at his friend in the rain. "Are you all right?" he shouted, the noise of the storm steadily becoming louder. He watched as Bernardo shook his head, only to have his eyes widen in worry before he pointed at something in the distance. Following his servant's gaze, he felt his stomach drop as he saw Bonita running through the rain, a drenched figure hanging on for dear life. "Lolita!" he shouted, urging his steed onward. Fear consumed him as he chased after her, the rain only getting worse as he followed the inconsolable mare. Reaching out, he snagged the reins at last, tugging the horse to a halt. "Lolita? Lolita, are you all right?!" he demanded, his eyes widening as he saw that she was completely soaked, her body practically resting on Bonita's back and neck. Grabbing her, he pulled her onto his horse and held her tight, pointing at the horse. "Bernardo, get Bonita and guide her back. We must work quickly!"

With the rain against them, the men fought to ride through the storm, relief filling their hearts as they saw the gates of the hacienda. Already, a throng of servants and Indians were outside, all wearing scrapes and giant sombreros as they helped their master and his friend.

"Pablo, take the horses, please," Diego pleaded, carrying the unconscious girl away. Running upstairs, he made his way to his bedroom with Bernardo hot on his heels. He accepted his friend's help as he opened the door and ushered them in, keeping Lolita in his arms. "Bernardo, go find Maria," he requested, eager to have the old servant woman's help. "Lolita needs dry, warm clothes before I can get her under the covers." Obediently, Bernardo ran away, back outside and into the stormy weather. Diego carried her to his desk and gently sat her down, heaving a breath of relief as she moaned. "Lolita…Lolita, can you hear me?"

"D-Diego…?" she murmured, shivering uncontrollably.

"Don't move. I'm going to have one of the servants get you into some dry clothes," he explained, tugging one of the covers from the bed and wrapping it around her. "This should do for now… what on earth were you doing out in this weather? Your family must be worried sick!" he insisted, his brows knitting together in concern, his eyes locked onto her face. It was then that he saw she had been crying. "…what's wrong? What happened?" he demanded, gripping her arms gently.

She shook her head, here tears still plentiful. "…Carlotta hates me…because she says I stole you and Ricardo from her…she was so angry, Diego… she said I was nothing-"

"Shhh…hush," he shushed her, embracing her at once. "When people are angry or jealous, they say all sorts of things they do not really mean." He felt her shaking her head, murmuring protestations into his chest. "I don't want you to listen to a word she says…you didn't steal me from her because she never owned my heart to begin with, Lolita… and you are not nothing…you are more precious than all the riches in the world, do you hear me?"

The poor girl sniffled, clinging to him as he comforted her. "D-Diego-"

"Hush, Lolita," he whispered, singing softly to her the words of "Mi Rosa del Desierto" as he held her and stroked her dripping hair. He glanced over his shoulder when the door to his room opened, revealing Bernardo and Maria. "Lolita, our servant Maria will get you dressed…I'll come back once you're tucked in bed, all right?" Kissing her forehead, he pulled away reluctantly and left the room with Bernardo, reassured all would be well as he heard the woman coo and coddle the wet girl. Shutting the door, he and Bernardo remained under the eaves of the second floor, catching sight of Alejandro, wrapped in his thick serape, running up the stairs towards them.

"Is she all right?" the father asked, relieved to be out of the rain.

"Yes, I think so," Diego nodded. "I'm not sure how long she was out, though. She needs rest… she ran away from home because Carlotta insulted her and blamed her for not having a beau."

"Santa Maria, that woman is spoiled beyond belief!" Alejandro scowled.

"The worst part of it all is that Lolita took this to heart…and I think it's my fault," Diego admitted, shaking his head. "Consuela and Bernardo have told me that she's fighting her feelings after she kissed me at Alicia's party."

"Now, now, Diego, don't go blaming yourself," Alejandro protested, placing his arm around his son's shoulders. "I understand that this is difficult, but you said so yourself, you do not want Lolita in danger while Riviera is still around. You must be strong, my son."

"I'm trying to, Father, believe me, I am trying…I can only hope she'll forgive me one day."

~Z~

The storm was still raging through the late afternoon as Diego and Bernardo kept watch over their sleeping guest. Lulled by the darkness and consistent pounding of the relentless rain, the two men had fallen asleep for an unexpected siesta as Lolita slept and shivered under the covers of Diego's bed. As sudden, sharp crackle of lightning snapped Diego out of slumber, making him shake his head and squeeze his eyes to rid himself of the drowsiness that encompassed him. Rising from his chair, he pulled out his pocket watch and saw it was half past three.

"Tornado must be anxious hearing all this noise…I'd best check on him." Seeing both Lolita and Bernardo slumbering away, he walked carefully to the hidden passage, unaware that Lolita was stirring from her sleep.

Blinking her eyes open, Lolita turned her head, her vision hazy, to see Diego moving across the room, and then suddenly vanish into the wall. "D-Di-e-go…" she whispered hoarsely, thinking this was a horrible nightmare turned reality. She had awoken after a terrible, fever-induced dream that her sister breathed fire and daggers, Riviera was a rattlesnake stalking her in the darkness, and Zorro ripped off his mask to reveal he was Diego, only to be choked by Riviera the Rattlesnake.

Tears blinded her as she crawled out of the bed, groping the walls as she fought to remember in which direction she had to go to find Diego. "Diego…" she whispered, reaching out and grasping the air, thinking she was still fighting to escape a nightmare. "…Diego…" She could barely speak now, weeping silently as a wave of weariness washed over her, making her knees buckle. Her eyes closed against her will as she fainted and fell into a pair of arms.

Bernardo's heart nearly leapt out of his chest when he woke up to find Lolita swaying and faltering towards the wall of the secret entrance in Diego's room. He feared she would collapse and hurt herself, so it was that he flung himself out of his chair and ran to catch her. He only prayed that Lolita did not really know about the entrance, otherwise Diego would have quite a time explaining himself. Lifting her into his arms, he carried her off back to the bed and placed her down carefully, tucking her in and giving her a sympathetic look. He decided it would be best if he moved his chair closer to the bedside in case she tried a stunt like that again.

The mute man had been in his seat for at least fifteen minutes before Diego cautiously reentered the room, his brows furrowed as he saw Bernardo sitting much closer to Lolita. "Bernardo, what's wrong?" Rising from his seat, Bernardo explained with his hands, face, and body what he had seen, making his master worried for the girl. "She wasn't hurt, was she?" He shook his head. "Gracias, old friend…" Moving past him, Diego sat on the bedside, his weight making the bed creak, thus awaking Lolita. "Lolita? I'm sorry," he whispered, wincing as he realized he had made her wake up. "I'll let you sleep-"

"Diego!" she choked, reaching out to him, her tears commencing to run free once again.

Diego felt his heart ache as he saw this, prompting him to take the girl into his arms and cradle her against his chest. "It's all right, I'm here."

"You're here," she sobbed, her hands curling into fists as she clung to his shirt. "…you're really here…"

"Of course I am, Lolita…why wouldn't I be?" he asked, letting his hand rest over her forehead. She was warm, but she wasn't burning. He surmised that she most likely had caught a cold, but he wondered what she meant by her words.

"I had…nightmares," she admitted softly, still crying as he kept her in his arms. "Riviera caught Zorro…and killed him…but when the mask was gone…I saw your face…you were Zorro…"

Diego and Bernardo froze at this, exchanging petrified glances. "…well, now you know that was a dream," he chuckled forcefully. "I could never be Zorro…"

"You were in my dream, and you were killed!" she wept, breaking his heart. "Then I dreamed you walked towards a wall and it swallowed you…and you had disappeared forever…I tried to find you, but I fell and became surrounded by darkness…"

Once more, Diego and Bernardo exchanged glances, understanding why she was wandering around the room, though they were grateful she merely thought Diego's disappearance was from a dream. Still, Diego felt his chest constrict as he listened to her choppy breathing as she continued to pour forth hot, salty tears. "…would it bother you, Lolita…if I were to go, or to die-?"

"Yes," she sobbed, clinging to him. "Don't even joke about that!...Diego, please, don't leave me…stay here…please?"

Bernardo took his seat once more in his chair, turning it around so that he might face the other way and give the couple some privacy while still supervise them. He couldn't help but wonder as he listened to the rain outside how it was that Diego had managed to find such a woman who could be so strong and yet so vulnerable. He did understand one thing, however – Diego was a gentleman, and he would not fail Lolita or hurt her in any way.

"Of course I'll stay," Diego whispered, taking her into his arms and lying back so that he could caress her. He wrapped his arms around her, wishing he could shield her from the horrid images that plagued her mind at the moment. Stroking her hair, he could feel her breath slowing, a sign that she was calming down. "…I thought you didn't care for me that way, Lolita," he said cautiously, his heart racing as she craned her head to finally face him. He felt his heart break as he saw her face stained with her tears, her eyes red from crying so much.

"Diego, I…ever since the party, I realized something…" Bashfully, she turned away, blush filling her cheeks. "…I think I-"

"I love you," Diego blurted out, making her head snap up. "Lolita, I've loved you since you first came to Los Angeles…I just didn't think I had a chance," he confessed, stunned to see that she smiled back, though her eyes were sorrowful.

"…Diego, I must be honest with you…I…I think I've loved you, too, all this time…I just didn't realize until…well," she blushed even more so, ducking her head down. "You know…but I must tell you, Diego…Zorro and I…that is, we-"

"You don't have to say anything," he started, surprised when she raised her head and placed her fingertips to his lips to silence him.

"I love him, and he's kissed me, Diego…many times." Again, her blush intensified. "…but when we kissed at Alicia's party…I felt feelings, strong feelings for you…the very same I feel for Zorro…but I can't love two men at once," she confessed, fighting not to cry again. "What kind of a person am I if I say I love two men equally?!"

"You have a large heart," Diego murmured, his own heart bursting and breaking all at once as he listened to her.

"I-"

"Lolita," Diego stopped her, taking her hand and kissing it. "I know this must be difficult for you…just to know that you feel anything at all for me makes me happy. I will be patient, Lolita. Take what time you need and think about it. I will wait, and I will be happy for you, whatever you decide." Deep within, he was dying to whisper in her ear, "I am Zorro, mi amor – you have won both of me, just as I have won all of you, so don't cry." Instead, he silently accepted a kiss on the cheek from the love of his life and continued to hold her, humming and stroking her hair until she was lulled to sleep once more.

~Z~

It was nearly dusk when the rain finally let up, and the entire Pulido household was nerve-wracked with panic for Lolita. Carlos had demanded he go out into the storm to find her, but Catalina had reasoned with him that it was too dangerous to go out and Lolita was clever enough to find shelter or friends. Yolanda and Consuela held hands, praying continuously throughout the day for the girl to turn up safe and sound. Carlotta said nothing, but she paced the floor in her room, feeling a great deal of guilt weighing down upon her like the thick clouds that hung over the land.

Though it was still raining, Carlos finally decided he could stand it no longer and stomped towards the back when the sound of a carriage rumbled towards the hacienda. The entire family flocked to the door and there was Diego de la Vega, carrying their unconscious daughter in his arms, wrapped in a thick blanket as Bernardo carried an umbrella to protect them.

"Don Diego-!" Carlos exclaimed when his wife placed her hand on his shoulder, placing her finger to her lips. He raised his eyebrows at this, perplexed as to why she would hold him back. Seeing her jut out her chin in an effort to point out her reason, he turned to see Diego enter the hacienda, his eyes fixed tenderly on Lolita.

"Don Carlos," Diego spoke softly, glancing up at the man. "I found her riding in the rain, just after the storm began…she should be all right. If I may…I'd like to take her upstairs before taking my leave."

"Of course," Carlos answered, glancing at his wife once more with a knowing smile. She returned the gesture and allowed her husband to lead Diego upstairs, staying with her daughters and the servants. Carlos opened his daughter's room to the caballero, letting him enter and gently place his little girl on the bed before fixing the blanket around her. He watched as Diego smiled wistfully at the sleeping beauty, fixing back the urge to kiss her out of respect for her father. Rising once more, he apologized for the intrusion. "Don't be absurd, Don Diego – you're a hero to this family!" the elder insisted in a whisper, grasping the young man's hand and shaking it gratefully. "You saved Lolita…how can I ever thank you?"

"There is no need," Diego shook his head. "All I ask is that you let me know when she is well again, if I may call on her to see how she is fairing."

"Of course, of course!" Don Carlos beamed, shaking his hand once more. "This hacienda is your home, señor! Call anytime you wish."

"Gracias…do excuse me, I must get home before the rain gets worse again," Diego said, letting the man show him out.

Lolita remained still, sleeping soundly at last since she was brought to the de la Vega hacienda. She did not toss or turn for many hours, not even when Consuela came later in the evening to check on her and adjust the pillows and towels. Time flew by, and it was not until the thick storm clouds had drifted off to show the black, star-filled sky that the girl finally opened her eyes. With a moan, she stretched and yawned, feeling lightheaded from too much sleep and too little food.

"How do you feel, hermanita?"

Lolita smiled weakly as she saw Consuela sitting at her bedside, bleary-eyed from having awakened just a few minutes before she had. "Hungry…the last meal I had was breakfast…"

"I'll bring some soup we left down in the kitchen. In the meantime…" She reached over to the nightstand and offered the girl a peeled orange. "I had this ready in case you woke up. Drink this while I heat up your late supper."

Accepting the orange, Lolita thanked Consuela and broke off a piece, drinking the sweet juice out of the fruit. As the cool liquid ran down her throat, she realized how warm she was. Setting the fruit aside, her eyes fell on the window, cracked open just a sliver. "If only…" Glancing at the door, she knew it was pointless to call for Consuela unless she wanted to wake the whole household. Still, she thought she would roast if she waited another moment longer. Cautiously, she moved until her feet rested on the hard, cool floor. Gripping the bedpost, she bit her lip as she forced herself up, her legs wobbling unsteadily. Daring to try, she released the post, swaying uncertainly when her vision began to go dark. A gasp of surprise left her mouth as she felt herself fall, fainting, when a pair of arms caught her once more that day.

When she opened her eyes, Lolita could see nothing at first…only two eyes watching her through a dark mask. "…Zorro?" she whispered, feeling his arms around her as he set her on her bed. "How-?"

"I heard you weren't feeling well," he murmured, his voice husky and sending shivers down her spine. "What were you doing?"

"It's just…I felt so warm," she protested, blush filling her cheeks as he lowered his face to her. "…I…I need to tell you something-"

"So do I," he confessed, stroking her cheek with the back of his gloved hand. "…I love you, Lolita Pulido."

Her heart skipped a beat hearing him say that, her eyes filling with tears. "…I…I love you, too, but…"

"But? What is it?"

"I…" Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath, gathering all her courage before opening her eyes and looking at the masked man again. "I must be honest with you…I love you very much, Zorro…but I…I love someone else, also."

"I see," he said pensively. "Who is this man?"

"Please," she begged, grasping the collar of his silken shirt. "If I tell you, don't be angry or hurt him. He doesn't fight-"

"Don Diego?" Zorro mused. "That's certainly a surprise…no, pequeña, don't cry…you've cried enough today, I can see it in your face," he hushed her, using his knuckles to wipe away her tears. "Fear not, Lolita, I will not approach him. You say you love him?"

"I don't know who I love…I love you both equally, and I feel awful about it, but-!"

"Then think about it," he suggested, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "I am a fox, aren't I? I can be patient and wait. All I want is your happiness, Lolita, truly."

"Gracias," she whispered, letting him embrace her. Kissing her hand, the outlaw whispered "adios" and stalked silently from the room, exiting through the balcony window and slipping into the night. Pressing her hand to her heart, she gazed up at the ceiling, envisioning her mother in the Heavens above. "Ay Mamá, what do I do?" Encompassed with silence, Lolita fell back into the pillows and awaited Consuela's return, the two faces of the two men she loved sharing her mind no matter how much she fought to choose simply one or the other.