Clashed

Author's Note: Once again, thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts. But it's time for the world outside to play its hand. Brace yourself. As always, JKR is a tri-wizard champion!

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Draco was humming tunelessly to himself as he pushed the bacon around on the stove. He loved the crackling sound of the fat bouncing around the scolding pan. If you had asked him to cook a meal five years ago, he would have asked what was the point when he had house elves to do it for him. But when he had first lived in the cottage, and Tilly was busy back at the manor often, he would browse through some old cookbooks he found in the village when he felt like taking his mind off things. Soon he had realised how fulfilling it was to eat food you had made with your bare hands. Everything tasted sweeter, richer, more flavoursome when you had cooked it yourself.

Granger was still in the shower. He could hear the pattering of the water against the tiles muffled from inside the bedroom. He smiled cheekily to himself when he thought of her. This morning they had woken up on the couch together, his front pressed against her back. He vaguely remembered falling asleep in the last half of the film, and they had both shifted awkwardly until they were lying along the couch with his arm draped over her curvy waist. He had slept deeply, and when he had woken his nose had been pressed into Granger's silky soft curls, inhaling the heady scent of her hair.

It had been both wonderful and problematic. He had certainly cherished the heat of another body against his; he was tired of waking up cold and alone from his nightmares. But the intimacy of the position had inevitably had an effect on his body. Draco's desire for the curly haired witch was intense under normal circumstances, but this was so much more; it had been bliss and agony all wrapped up in one almost overwhelming moment. One of the first sensations Draco had become aware of when he blinked his eyes open blearily that morning had been the throbbing between his thighs. His cock had twitched and gone stiff in a matter of seconds at the feel of Granger's soft, rounded bottom against him. Draco had simply not been able to stop himself from moving his hips ever so softly to grind against her. But then he had felt a wave of anxiety that she would wake up and become alarmed, so he had stopped immediately and tried to separate their bodies without disturbing her.

Snapping out of the pleasant memory, he sighed and scooped the bacon out to rest on the counter while he scrambled some eggs to fry up next.

Draco knew he was being a coward. That was his biggest flaw. He ran away from danger, just like he was running away from taking a risk with Granger. All the signs told him that she was warming up to him, and on the few precious times they had touched he knew she felt something. At the muggle pub he had seen the goose bumps trailing up the nape of her neck from where his fingertips stroked her skin. And last night watching the film she had certainly not been repulsed or scared to touch him. There had been a moment when she had looked up at him during the film, her head tilting up from its resting spot on his shoulder to make a quip about the story. Her dark brown eyes had looked endless in the glow of the firelight, and he had felt his breath catch. But her reaction had thrilled him. He had seen the exact millisecond when her gaze had dropped from his own steely eyes down to his lips. It was just a brief flicker, but Draco had no doubt that she had stared at his bottom lip with a fleeting glance of longing.

So maybe it was time for him to take the plunge. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do exactly. This was entirely outside his experience. Normally he didn't have to work very hard to get a girl's attention. A smirk, maybe a little wink and they were usually primed and ready to ask him out. But Granger was not most girls. She was smart, and not easily fooled by cheap tricks. Not to mention they had a bad history. Draco suspected it would take a lot more than a few second-rate compliments to seduce her. He felt like they were finally now in a place where he could call her a friend. And he had never really had a female friend before. Pansy didn't exactly count; she was more like a groupie than a friend. She only wanted to marry the most powerful pureblood wizard she could lay her scheming hands on. So he was definitely in unmapped territory here with Granger.

Draco heard the shower turn off; the squeaking taps gave it away, and he quickly poured the egg mixture into the hot frying pan to start cooking. By the time Granger was done towel drying her hair and getting dressed he was ready to serve up breakfast, but no closer to figuring out how to approach his new resolution. Tilly wasn't around this morning to help as she was caught up with cleaning at the mansion. He thought it was likely she was cleaning up the mess after another round of the dark lord's violent whims.

When Granger strolled into the kitchen, she was looking refreshed, her hair still damp but starting to dry in soft ringlets around her face. Draco gave her his most charming half smile as he scooped the eggs and bacon onto two plates. She smiled back tentatively, and slid into one of the bar stools at the counter.

"Good morning," he said smoothly, sitting down next to her and tucking into his morning meal.

"Morning," she replied vaguely as she looked curiously at the plate in front of her, "This is impressive. And surprising. Did Tilly teach you how to cook?"

"No I taught myself from some cookbooks I acquired when I bought the place."

Granger sniffed her fork before she took the first tentative bite.

"Well it's edible…"

"Gee thanks," he replied sarcastically, but she just smiled at him teasingly.

"Actually it's delicious, but you don't really need your ego boosted."

"Point taken."

They ate in silence for a few moments, Draco watching her closely for any signs. Obviously she wasn't going to flutter her eyelashes at him over breakfast or anything, but he still wanted to keep a close eye on her to note her behaviour. She might have a tell.

"How are you feeling today?" he asked.

Granger didn't quite meet his eye when she answered after a long pause.

"A lot better. Very well in fact."

Maybe it was because he was watching her so closely, but Draco could have sworn that she looked disappointed.

"Okay," he replied slowly as he munched on some bacon, "Well that's good right?"

Granger lifted her eyes to his and smiled, but he knew her well enough now to know for sure that it was fake smile. It didn't quite meet her soft brown eyes, which usually lit up when she smiled genuinely. She nodded a little too quickly, before returning her gaze studiously to her plate.

"So I guess now we just keep looking for an answer to the scarring on your arm," he pressed.

"I suppose."

Draco frowned. He grabbed his coffee mug and took a big scalding sip that burned its way across his tongue and down his throat, but he didn't really pay attention to the pain.

"Spit it out, Granger," he said directly, catching her by surprise and forcing her to meet his eyes as she swallowed a mouthful of scrambled egg.

"What?"

"You know what. You're upset. Was it something I said or did?"

Granger shook her head quickly, and this time her eyes were much wider and more revealing. She put her fork down to one side and stared at him intently.

"No of course not. You've been wonderful."

"Then why do you look like Christmas has been cancelled?"

"I'm not upset."

"Bullshit."

Granger glared at him for a few seconds, but he didn't back down. Eventually she sighed and her shoulders slumped a bit.

"Alright. Fine," she reached her hand into the pocket of her jeans and withdrew a folded up piece of parchment that looked like it was from The Daily Prophet, "While I was in the bedroom an owl delivered the paper and I saw this."

She handed him the paper, and he looked down to see a picture of a burning house with bold words emblazoned across the top.

MUDBLOOD COMMITTS GRAPHIC SUICIDE: The Epidemic of Criminals Evading the Law Continues to Trouble Registration Officials.

Draco wasn't stupid, he knew the Prophet was under the control of the ministry and that consequently it was all probably a load of codswallop. But that still didn't explain the look of anguish on Granger's face.

"Yeh, it's tragic…" he said uncertainly, causing Granger to tut and lean over to unfold the parchment, spreading it out to rid it of creases as she pointed to the main body of the article.

"It definitely wasn't a suicide. He was murdered. Ted… I didn't really know him, but-"

Draco looked closer at the article, and he saw the name Ted Tonks often enough to know that this was the muggleborn who had supposedly killed himself. Which meant he had more likely been hunted down, tortured and murdered by Death Eaters.

Death Eaters like him.

The name sounded familiar, and he realised that it was actually the husband of his estranged Aunt Andromeda, the father of his cousin Nymphadora. He squirmed a bit in his seat, wondering if his mother knew about this. For all her pureblood nonsense she had always spoken kindly to him of her sister. She had of course shown contempt in front of others in public, but in the privacy of their home she was quick to snap at Lucius for denigrating her sister. Draco shook his head as he wondered if his mother would even be capable of acknowledging something like this anymore. Maybe a year or two ago, but not now that she was a shell of her former self.

Draco realised that Granger was looking at him with concern, and he quickly shook himself out of his thoughts to concentrate on her again.

"I'm sorry," he said sheepishly, "I wish there was something I could have done." But Granger just shook her head slowly and gazed down at the article with a sad frown.

"Like I said, I didn't know him. I'm friends with Tonks but… That's not really why I'm upset."

He pursed his lips a little and shuffled closer to her in his seat.

"Well what is it?"

Granger wasn't looking at him again. She was fiddling with her fork and avoiding eye contact as she spoke in a croaky whisper.

"I feel guilty that I'm not out there with Harry and Ron. I'm almost fully healed now except for my arm. I just wish I knew a way to find them. They need me."

Draco swallowed, but his mouth was so dry the sensation felt like something was lodged in his throat. So here he was thinking that he had just worked up the courage to seduce her, and she was thinking about leaving. It left a slightly nauseous feeling in his gut. Draco knew his ears were hot, pounding with blood even as his face drained of all colour and he guessed he had turned white as a sheet.

"But…you…you're not… we still need to work on your arm."

Granger nodded slowly.

"I know, but isn't it a bit selfish or vain of me to worry about what my arm looks like? Harry could be facing life or death situations and I'm well enough to help him now."

Draco stared at her in disbelief.

"You would keep risking your life for them after what they did?"

Granger did raise her head then, her curls falling back to reveal her expression. She was clearly confused by his comment.

"What do you mean?"

Draco sighed and pushed his fingers roughly through his hair.

"They just left you there when they knew you were being tortured. I kept waiting for something to happen, someone to come to your rescue, but when I heard they had escaped without you…"

Granger waved a hand dismissively.

"You said yourself that Dobby couldn't go into the main part of the house, so I'm glad they got out while they could. It's not like they could help me."

He grit his teeth and looked at her in frustration. Draco normally adored her compassionate nature, but it wasn't like her to be so naïve.

"You think that Dobby couldn't have helped them break down the cellar door? Or that they couldn't use him to overpower Rowle when he went down to check on them? Granger, they didn't even try to rescue you. They just saved their own skins."

She was frowning darkly at him as her eyes searched his.

"Is that true? Do you honestly think they could have gotten upstairs?"

"Of course. If it were me, I wouldn't have left until I'd tried everything in my power to get to you."

Granger shook her head dolefully and gazed at him with wide, sorrow filled eyes.

"Maybe they didn't realise that Dobby couldn't come back for me," she said hesitantly. Draco scoffed.

"Well Dobby knew. He was always a nosy little prick and he knew the wards inside out so he could always manipulate them to boss the other elves around. And even if the moronic duo didn't realise that, then surely they should have made sure, or asked him before they just disapparated away."

Granger let out a deep breath she had been holding, her brows drawing together in that little crease in the middle of her forehead.

"You don't understand, Draco. Compared to Harry, I don't really matter in this war. He's the one who needs to survive to face You-Know-Who. He's the one that matters. So how can I resent them for getting out when the opportunity presented itself?"

Draco spluttered.

"So that's it then? Your life doesn't matter compared to the precious Chosen One? You're just going to throw it away for Harry fucking Potter, is that it?"

"If I have to."

Draco slammed his fist down on the counter, making the cutlery rattle a bit on the granite top.

"No."

"What do you mean no?" she asked incredulously.

"I'm not letting you leave here."

Her sad frown turned into a familiar pursing of the lips that told him she was getting cross. He knew he was being irrational and possessive, but the thought of her walking out that door made him hurt so bloody much inside. She would go fight with her idiotic friends, and she would probably die. Draco wasn't sure he was capable of dealing with that. It would probably destroy him. And to sacrifice it all for Potter would just sting too much. His mind produced a brief flash of Granger's dead body, throwing it at him as a taunt of what would happen. In his imagination she was so white, her curls hanging in sticky pools of blood as Potter cradled her to him. Just another victim who died protecting him. Draco felt his anger and terror swell up in response to the nightmarish thought.

"I'll lock you in the bloody house if I have to," he continued through bared teeth, and she matched his anger with her own.

"Are you kidding?"

"No, I'm absolutely serious. You can bloody well stay here. I'll fix the wards so that you can't get out."

"You can't do that!" she spluttered in outrage.

"Actually I can. It's for your own good."

"I'm not some pet you can just keep here, Draco. I'm not a tool you can use to make yourself feel better about being a Death Eater."

Draco froze at her words. He was trying to absorb her meaning while struggling to accept that she could actually think that. It seemed so absurd.

"Is that what you think?" he croaked in disbelief, his stomach plummeting at her accusation.

"Oh come on, Draco, you hated me in school. And now suddenly you're treating me like…"

"Like what?" he asked challengingly.

"Differently," she said after a long pause, "You can hardly blame me for thinking that your motives might be self-serving."

"You know I've changed, you admitted it yourself," he yelled, appalled at her line of thinking. Granger nodded and tangled her fingers up in her curls.

"I know I did. But I'm confused."

Draco laughed coldly.

"So you're just going to leave? That's your big solution?"

Granger released her hair and stared at him. Her curls were a mess from the briefly tight hold.

"I wouldn't be leaving you. It's not like that. I have responsibilities…"

"But you still think I'm keeping you as a…uh…pet I think was your word."

Granger sighed heavily.

"Well what am I supposed to think?"

"That maybe I care about you! That I don't want to see you throw your life away for that complete prick!"

"Harry is not a prick!"

Draco snorted.

"Yes, he is. He's an arrogant, self-absorbed wanker who takes advantage of his friends. Of you."

"You don't even know him."

"Well explain it to me then. What's so bloody amazing about Potter that everyone who knows him seems to become suicidal?"

"I love Harry like a brother and I would die for him," she repeated in a low, cold voice that rang through him with its flat tone, "but that's not the only reason why I'm fighting in this war. I'm a mudblood, Draco!" he winced at her use of the word, as it sent a crawling sensation up his spine, "If You-Know-Who wins then I'm dead, or worse."

"You think I don't know that? I'm the one who saved you from Bellatrix, aren't I? I'm the one trying to stop you from getting yourself killed now!"

"It's not your job to protect me."

"Well that's too bad, because I'm going to anyway."

"You barely know me," she said with quiet emphasis, cutting through his anger and making him cold with humiliation at the thought that she didn't even suspect his feelings for her.

"So what… I don't get a say?"

"No, you don't" she said, as if it were obvious, which to him it really wasn't, "this is my choice."

Draco stared at her, his heart pounding.

"Are all Gryffindors so bloody reckless?"

Granger glared right back, her eyes still crackling softly with anger.

"At least I am willing to die fighting for what I believe is right. Can you say the same?"

"What?"

"You sit there accusing me of throwing my life away, but aren't you doing the same? You're just as likely to be killed as I am right now, maybe even more so. But the difference is you don't even believe in what you're doing. At least I can face up to the fear knowing that I'm doing what's right."

Draco was silent, absorbing her words. He hated that she was spot on. It was something that kept him awake at nights. He dreaded the thought that he would become just another body, and the rest of the world would remember him only as that spoiled brat who followed in his father's footsteps and became a Death Eater. He had spent many days and weeks thinking desperately of a way to turn his back on this world his parents had weaved around him. But the only solution had always been to abandon the country and flee, which meant leaving his mother behind since she was too frail to go far. And even then it was quite likely that the Dark Lord would track him down out of sheer spite. The only thing that was keeping him going now, giving him some kind of promise of a future that didn't reek of murder and regret, was Granger. Living with Granger these last couple of weeks, imagining a life where she someday returned his feelings, had been his only way of coping with the horror he encountered every time he returned to the manor. And now she wanted to leave him. He finally raised his haunted eyes to meet her gaze. She was looking at him with something akin to guilt, as if she regretted her severe words to him. He just stared at her for a few timeless moments, before finally speaking in a voice that carried an embarrassingly pitiful croak.

"So that's what you think of me?"

Granger let out a breath, her cheeks turning pink as she tried to reach over to take his hand. Draco flinched and pulled his hand away so she couldn't touch him. He didn't want to reveal his weakness, and if she touched him then he might cave.

"No…I don't know…" she muttered softly, the anger draining away from her face completely under the weight of his disappointment, as she leaned her head in her hands, "I suppose I'm just trying to cope with the idea that my world has spun on its head. I don't know who to trust anymore. You're right - Harry and Ron did leave me. And you…you saved me. How am I supposed to act now?"

Draco watched her for a moment. Her shoulders were tense and her eyes were flickering around the room as if looking for answers somewhere.

"Please don't leave," he said, and he saw the moment that his words hit her, as her eyes became shiny from tears. They didn't drop, just clung to her lashes as she swallowed.

"I don't really...want to leave. But I can't be your anchor, Draco. You can't ask me to be your conscience. It's not fair."

He shook his head, dimly registering that the rumbling sound outside hinted at another thunderstorm rolling in that afternoon.

"That's not…" he drew in a shaky breath as he paused, "that's not what this is."

He felt a trickle of despair filter through him, as he began to panic that maybe she wouldn't even believe that his feelings were genuine. This had gone downhill so quickly that he wasn't sure what to do or say next. All his hopes from this morning were crumbling little by little as she looked at him with pity. Pity. She honestly believed that he was only nice to her, had only rescued her, so that he could pay penance for his crimes and absolve his guilt. She couldn't be more wrong, but even he had to admit that that was probably how it looked.

Before he could make any move to contradict her, Tilly appeared before them with a little pop of magic, making Granger jump in fright. Tilly curtseyed quickly to the curly haired witch before turning to Draco with urgent eyes.

"Master, your mother is wishing to speak to you."

"Now?"

"Yes, Sir, she seemed agitated."

He stared at her in incredulity. Of all the bad timing for Narcissa to request his presence, this was the worst. He wasn't even sure what needed such urgent attention. She was barely aware of his existence lately, let alone inclined to seek his company. He raised his eyes to Granger and he knew from her brief nod that she understood the conflict going on inside him.

"Go," she said softly, with a sad little smile, "It might be important."

Draco nodded and began to put on his coat as he approached the door. Before he left he turned back to watch her pushing the now cold eggs around on the plate with her fork.

"Are you…will you still be here when I return?" he asked slowly, his voice a little bit hoarse from having to ask the question he dreaded. But Granger gave him a reassuring look that put him at ease.

"Of course, Draco. I would never just leave here without your knowledge after everything you've done for me. And it's not like I know where they are anyway, or have a wand. You might be stuck with me just a bit longer."

Draco felt a small amount of relief wash away the edge of panic he had been feeling. He nodded to her before wrapping a green scarf around his neck.

"This isn't over," he murmured quietly, and she tilted her head in agreement.

Then he was reluctantly backing away through the door and apparating to the manor to see what the bloody hell his mother wanted so urgently.

...

Sorry for the abrupt ending. But the next chapter will reveal some answers… Please review.