For the Edgar Allan Poe fan in us all.

First, points to all those who watched Kurtwood Smith on this week's House.

Second, who has seen the commercials for Laura Prepon's new show? Doesn't it look terrible?

This chapter may seem lighter than the previous one at first, but I assure you that this story is not a comedy, satire (okay maybe it is, but this is me we're talking about) this is a suspense story, and even the best suspense stories have light moments. Just kept that in mind.

It had been 3 hours since Mr. Kind had last called. 3 long, agonizing, painfully slow hours.

Red and Kelso were still had the police station, attempting to convince them of the seriousness of the situation.

"He said he'd call every hour." Fez muttered. "Where is that son of a bitch?"

It was Eric who answered the phone when it finally rang.

"Is Michael Kelso there?" The raspy voiced man asked.

"No, he's not." Eric replied, signaling the group.

"That's too bad; the next question was going to be for him."

"Can't you ask one of us?"

Mr. Kind chuckled. "I'm afraid not."

"Don't let him hang up!" Donna mouthed to her boyfriend.

"Look, just ask one of us a question instead? Ask me, I know stuff about Jackie that no one else does, including Kelso. Like I know that she says that her favorite TV show is Charlie's Angels but it's really Star Trek, and that the reason she was kicked off the cheerleading squad was because she got into a fight with the other cheerleaders because they were teasing a sophomore and…"

He wasn't able to continue though.

"If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and dial the number again."

Kitty took the phone out of Eric's hands. "Eric… it's okay."

Just then, Red and Kelso walked back in.

"How did it go?" Hyde asked, trying not to think about Eric's outburst.

"We gave them the number that guy gave to Fez, but when the police when to the location, everyone was gone." Kelso explained.

"What do you mean gone?" Kitty asked.

"It means that they've moved her." Red told his wife.

"The cops aren't going to be any help." Hyde's cynicism was in full effect. He took the silence to mean that they agreed with him.

"This guy is smart." Red said. "He must have known we'd give the number to the cops."

Hyde couldn't stand to be in the kitchen anymore. Without a word, he got up and went to the basement, followed diligently along by the rest of his friends.

"When's the last time you slept man?" Eric asked him.

"Don't start with me Forman."

Eric held up his hands defensively. "Sorry, but the next call could be for you and we have to be ready."

"Man, I hope he calls back for me." Kelso said. "I know all there is to know about Jackie."

Hyde glared at him but it was Donna who spoke. "Do you think this is a game? My best friend is being held by some maniac!"

"Come on people! This isn't the time to be fighting!" Fez yelled at all of them. "Let's focus on Jackie."

Eric nodded. "He's right. We need to think of things that guy might ask us so we can be ready."

"That's a good idea." Donna said, pulling out a notepad and a pen from inside the couch cushions. "Okay, well, I know that her idol is Mary Tyler Moore, and that she listens to Abba when she goes to sleep."

"Her favorite pizza topping is mushroom." Kelso said. Donna jotted it down.

The group looked at Hyde. "This isn't going to work. He's not going to ask us dumb questions like this. A monkey could know all this stuff."

Donna sighed. "Well, what do you think he'll ask?"

Hyde stood up. "I don't know." He admitted. "I'm not really functioning right now." He pointed to his head.

"Man, this never would have happened if I hadn't moved to Chicago." Kelso muttered.

"How do you figure?" Eric asked.

"Well, because I would have been here, to protect her."

Hyde snorted his coke. "Right, like how you protected her all those times you cheated on her."

"Oh, don't start with me Hyde; I'm not the one who married a stripper!" Kelso yelled at him.

Hyde was furious. "Because you showed up in Jackie's hotel room wearing a towel!"

"And I told you nothing happened!"

"Yeah, a month later, when I was already married."

"And yet, you stayed married even though you knew that nothing happened!"

"Because she was going to dump me anyway!"

The last sentence hung in the air for moment.

"Look you two," Fez said as he got up from the lawn chair. "It doesn't matter whose fault it was that Hyde and Jackie broke up, what matters is that she's with me now."

"Yeah, so?" Kelso responded.

"So, burrrrrrrrrrrn." Fez sang.

Donna, who had been watching the fight from the couch with Eric, started to laugh. "I can't believe you guys, you're fighting over Jackie still."

"Look, we all care about Jackie, even me." Eric said, trying to maintain the peace. "There's no need to fight about who lost Jackie to who or why."

Donna shook her head, disagreeing. "No, I think they do need to fight this out. Get it out into the open you know." She looked at Hyde. "Hyde, how do you feel about Fez dating Jackie?"

"I think it's a match made in hell." He answered honestly.

Fez rolled his eyes. "That's what we said about you, moron."

Hyde ignored him. "Seriously, what does Jackie see in you? You're creepy and perverted and she hates foreigners. "

Fez smirked. "Things change baby." "Except for the creepy and perverted part. That's still true." He smiled.

"See, that's my point. She'd be better off with Bob or the Lawn Gnome." Hyde retorted.

"Actually, I think the Lawn Gnome is spoken for my Mrs. Pritchett's Schnauzer." Eric joked.

The phone rang again, reminding everyone that the argument they were having was irrelevant. It didn't matter who had stolen Jackie from whom, because Jackie had been stolen from all of them. Hyde felt somewhat guilty as he picked the phone up. "Hello."

"Please tell me that Kelso is there this time." Mr. Kind begged.

"Here." Kelso sat beside Eric and took the phone. "Uh, hello?"

"Mr. Kelso, I'm calling to ask you you're question."

Kelso took a deep breath. "Go ahead."

"How many stuffed animals does Jackie have?"

Kelso laughed. "That's my question?" "Fourteen."

"Sorry, that's wrong."

"No wait, fifteen, Bob got her a stuffed bear for her graduation." Kelso said spastically.

There was silence on the other end. "That's correct, but I'm not going to count it."

"Oh come on!" Kelso begged.

"I'll give you another one instead." Mr. Kind told him.

"Yeah, okay. What is it?"

"How many times a month does Jackie go visit her father in prison?"

Kelso knew the answer off the top of his head. "Once, because she feels obligated because her mother won't do it but she doesn't tell anyone and she gets really depressed afterwards, so instead of hanging out with her friends she stays at home and writes in her diary about how she wishes her family was back together again."

"That was a little more information than I need to know." Mr. Kind told him, "But it's right." Kelso gave a relieved sigh.

"Congratulations." Mr. Kind said. "I'll call you back in an hour." He hung up the phone.

Hearing Kelso's speech got the wheels in Hyde's brain turning. It did seem like once a month she seemed more distant, and then suddenly more clingy. He always just attributed it to women problems.

Kelso was looking at Hyde like he was reading his mind. "And you wondered why she was always pestering you to marry her."

"She doesn't pester me." Fez told them. "In fact, every time I mention marriage she flees the room."

That caught Hyde's attention. "Wait, you mentioned marriage to Jackie?" The gang's full attention was on Fez.

"It wasn't a big deal." Fez responded. "I just asked her if she thought about it."

"Fez, Jackie always thinks about marriage." Kelso said.

"She said no." Fez answered matter of factly.

Hyde didn't know what the emotion he was feeling right now was. Part guilt, part relief, and something else he couldn't put his finger on.

When Jackie woke up she found that she had been unbound. She also noticed that she had been moved sometime in the night. The room Jackie was in was pitch black with no visible light source. Moving was out of the question as she couldn't see where she was going. She was certain of one thing though.

She wasn't alone.

"Who's there?" She asked, not able to keep the fear out of her voice.

Something was rattling, and breathing. She knew that who ever it was, they were coming towards her.

"Jackie?"

Oh god, they knew her name.

"Who is it?"

A cold hand touched her arm. "Jackie, calm down. It's okay."

Clearly this person had been in the chamber for far too long. "Who are you?" She asked again, starting to cry.

"It's Sam."

"Sam?" "As in the whore who stole my boyfriend?"

"Yeah." She sounded complicit.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Jackie asked her.

"I was with my husband; we were on our way home and…"

"Is your husband okay?"

Sam didn't know. "I haven't see or heard anything for a month now."

Jackie started to hyperventilate. "I can't believe this." "I'm not supposed to be here!"

"Well, you are princess, so we better make the best of it."

"Where are we?" Jackie asked.

"I take that to mean your eyes haven't adjusted to the darkness." Sam commented.

"No, why?"

Sam sighed and took Jackie's hand. Jackie could feel something made of stone beside her.

"What is this?" Jackie asked. She pulled away from Sam and moved around, keeping her hand on the object. "Okay, well, it's long, and rectangular, stone, and there's an edge, like it's a lid…" She trailed off.

"Sam, tell me I'm not touching a dead person."

"You're not touching a dead person." Sam answered. "You're touching a dead guy's coffin!"

Jackie jumped back. "Oh my god!" She shrieked. "Get me out of here!" She screamed.

An hour later, the group reassembled in the Forman's kitchen along with Bob. Day light was just peaking from behind the clouds.

"Who wants scrambled eggs?" Kitty asked.

Everyone's hands went up. Food was just what they needed.

When the phone rang, it caused everyone to jump. Since he was closest to it, Red answered.

"Forman residence."

"Let me speak to Donna."

"Donna, for you." Donna got up and walked to Red who was holding the phone. With a nervous hand, she took it.

"This is Donna." She said into the phone.

"Donna, this is Mr. Kind."

Something was extremely familiar about Mr. Kind's voice to her but she couldn't place where she had heard it.

"Are you ready for your question?" Mr. Kind asked.

"Yes." Donna didn't hesitate. Her best friend merit badge was riding on this. She smiled slightly.

"What is Jackie's biggest regret?"

Donna wanted to hit her head on the wall. Of all the questions he could have given her, it had to be that one. It wasn't that she didn't know the answer, but that she didn't want to say it out loud in present company.

"Donna, time is running out." Mr. Kind reminded her.

"Going to Chicago." She deliberately looked at the wall instead of the three guys sitting at the kitchen table.

"That's very, very good, Donna." Mr. Kind was impressed. "I'll tell you what, how about instead of hanging up, you hand the phone to Steven Hyde."

Relief swept through Donna as she handed the phone to Hyde.

"What is my question?" Hyde asked as he took the phone.

"She talks a lot about you, more than the foreign guy. She must have been really hung up on you."

"Just ask me my question." Hyde wasn't in the mood for idle chit chat.

"Why do you want to save her life?" The man went on to explain. "I mean, it's obvious to everyone that you hate her, so I'm just curious, why would you want to save the life of someone you can't stand?"

"I never said that." Hyde said.

"Don't' trifle with me, why do you want to save her life?" Mr. Kind asked his voice full of anger.

"She's my friend." Hyde hoped it was enough.

"That all?" Mr. Kind asked. "Pity, I was hoping for something more romantic."

"Okay, fine, I want her to live because I don't hate her." It was all Hyde was going to say.

"I'm going to kill her tonight Mr. Hyde."

Hyde punched the wall. "No, just, don't."

"Then answer the bloody question!" Mr. Kind shouted.

"Because I can't imagine life without her." It was simple and direct, and got everyone's attention, including Jackie's current boyfriend.

"Congratulations, you just bought yourself more time, now I want you all to do something."

"What?" Hyde asked.

Jackie was now starting to get used to the darkness. She still couldn't see very well, but she could sense things. She knew that Sam was sitting in front of her, and that there were at least four coffins in the crypt.

"Do you know where we are?" She asked.

"We're in a cemetery." Well, something's never changed.

"I know that." Jackie bit back, "I meant where are we as in what city and or state."

Sam shrugged. "I don't know, I think we're still in Wisconsin though."

Something about this didn't make a lot of sense to Jackie. "I thought you went back to Vegas."

"We did, but we came back." Sam responded.

"Why would you do that?" Jackie asked, curious.

"I thought it would be a good place to start a family." Sam told her.

"You mean you wanted to be closer to Steven."

There was a sudden creaking noise then. Jackie jumped up, startled. "Oh god the dead are waking up. I'm too pretty to be some dead guy's late night snack!"

"No, they're feeding us."

A flashlight appeared, blinding Jackie.

"You two, get up against the wall." The light pointed the way. Jackie and Sam scooted over to the wall. "

"No funny business." The voice said again. Mr. Kind walked in with a bucket of KFC. He sat it down in the middle of the room. Jackie wasn't paying attention to him though, she was looking outside where he had left the door open.

She could see trees that were just starting to bloom. There was also a large farm house in the distance. Sam jumped at the chicken, bringing it to them. She handed a piece to Jackie who started to eat with vigor.

"I see that you're both fairing well."

"Where's my husband?" Sam asked.

"Tis, tis, you know I can't divulge that information, Samantha."

"Mr. Kind, please let us out. Whatever you want, we'll get it for you." Jackie pleaded.

"Oh, Jacqueline, you're so naïve." He laughed softly at her. "You'll be pleased to know though that your friends did very well on the first part of the test." He laughed again. "Of course, it doesn't matter because I have no intention of letting you go."

"But you promised!" Jackie yelled.

"Did I?" Mr. Kind asked. "I suppose I did. "Well, I'll tell you what, I'll let you go, under two conditions, one, your friends actually pass the second test and two…" With one swift motion, he hit Jackie over the head, knocking her unconscious.

Mr. Kind stared at Sam for a minute. "Get up, it's time to go." He helped pull Sam up. "The boss wants to see you."

What will happen to Jackie? Will the gang be able to stop arguing long enough to complete the test? How does Sam figure into all this? Why don't I just kill her off? Is her husband still alive?