Hey guys! I'm updating, because I still feel bad about taking forever last time. So just…. Here, take this update and forgive me. :(

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Artemis Crock was bored. There was no easier way to describe it; she hadn't done anything in weeks. Batman was busy with some HUGE case in Gotham that she knew nothing about, and didn't care about much, either. The only reason this information had even bothered to cross her mind was because it meant no new missions. She'd grown tired of ruffling Wally's feathers a while ago, and training wasn't much fun because she knew for a fact that no one would kill her (which wasn't a bad thing, it just took the adrenaline out of fighting). She ached badly to go on a mission.

It was for this reason, she found herself searching for a certain Boy Wonder who would know just about everything she wanted to know about the B man's big case, starting with why in the hell it was more important that the Team. This particular task was sparking some interest though, as she couldn't find him anywhere in the Cave. As a matter of fact, she hadn't seen him around the Cave in a long time; a couple weeks or so.

It didn't help much that she didn't know the kid's secret identity. If she did, maybe she could find the damn boy without asking Wally REPEATEDLY. That kid was, ironically, insanely good at keeping a secret. So she gave up, and decided to scour Gotham for him.

Batman wouldn't approve, but did he really think Artemis Crock would care?

Okay, maybe she was a little bit scared of him. But only a little, and only when he looked at her with that glare. Come to think of it, she'd never actually seen Batman angry, only glare. Sure, they'd heard stories from Robin, but she'd never seen him. Robin had only seen him explode twice.

Scary.

This is why she was extremely shocked to find herself searching for Robin, and finding Batman. She saw him before he noticed her – which in itself is just terrifying – and slowly began leaving the general area. She didn't want to startle the Bat in his natural habitat (i.e. she didn't want to get busted snooping around Batman's city. Only Superman had the guts to do that, and he was indestructible).

However, as she was making her strategic retreat, she tripped on a very inconveniently placed brick, and ended up falling on her ass and completely blowing her cover.

"Shit," she muttered quietly under her breath (though not quietly enough, because Batman still gave her quite a nasty look) as the cloaked man silently approached her.

As he neared, she was truly marveled at how bad he looked. Not that she ever thought Batman looked particularly good (after all, she'd only ever seen him as Batman) but right now he looked as though he hadn't even been home in days, let alone slept. He looked skinnier than normal, and his cheeks sagged slightly around the tips of his scowl. He clearly hadn't shaved in quite some time either, because he was beginning to grow pas the 9 o' clock shadow phase.

"Artemis," he ground out, his voice gravelly and exhausted. "I don't have time for this. Go home."

"What's wrong, Bats?" she spat, climbing from the ground without the un-offered help of the adult here and casually brushing herself off. "Aren't you glad to see me? Didn't you miss me?"

All she received for a moment was a slightly deepened scowl, and she thought she saw him clench his fists behind his cape. She could tell his muscles were tightly clenched, though she couldn't see it beneath the several layers of Kevlar the man wore. "Go home." He ordered, and turned to leave again.

"I just want to know where Robin is!" she called, seeing her opportunity to find the young boy fleeting quickly. "He hasn't been at the Cave in a seriously long time, and we're all bored without him." She, as far as she knew, was the only one literally dying of boredom, but that was unimportant information.

Her call, surprisingly, made the Dark Knight stop in his tracks. He turned ever so slightly and called over his shoulder, "Robin's location is classified."

"What is that supposed to mean!?" She cried, waving her hands exasperatedly in the air and turning to walk her own way. But just as she'd gotten a grappling arrow knocked, the realization dawned on her, and she was left completely stunned. She whipped around, bow and arrow still in hand, and called to the Caped Crusader once more. "You don't know, do you?!"

Batman did not stop this time, his pace quickened quite a bit, actually. But Artemis was never one to just give up, especially now that she had some dirt on the sole protector of Gotham City.

"Oh my God, you lost Robin!" she shouted, putting her arrow back in her quiver and contracting her bow as she broke into a jog to keep up. "Batman! You totally lost the Boy Wonder!" she couldn't stop the laugh, despite the fact that she knew this was serious.

"I didn't lose Robin." Batman turned around again, this time his gaze fierce. Artemis pissed off Batman, and she still kind of wanted to laugh, although that urge was slowly going away. "Robin was kidnapped, and you are to tell no one." The last part came out more as a growl, he even barred his teeth. The archer gulped slightly, although she tried not to show Batman she was even remotely frightened.

As he started to walk away again, Artemis gathered her wits and the remains of her pride and began to walk away, although she decided to something insane and drastic instead.

She turned and sprinted back to Batman, stopping directly in front of him and not letting him brush past her. "Batman, let me help." She said. She couldn't ask, he'd say no. She had to order Batman for once, and she knew he wouldn't like that.

"No." he immediately responded. He yet again tried to walk past her, but she blocked his path with her body. She seriously doubted he'd hit her too hard, and if he did she could take it.

"Batman, I'm not going to lie. You look like shit." Artemis said, defending herself before he could shut her down. She ignored his Bat-Glare and continued. "You're obviously way too tired, you need sleep and you're probably starving. A good shower couldn't hurt, either, I bet. So, if you'd let me help, I could take half of the work and you could do some of that stuff. I tend to pull my own weight." She put her hands on her hips.

Batman seemed to be taking this in. There was no way he'd allow her to help. If Poison Ivy was able to take Robin off guard, she'd crush Artemis. Although, the teenager hand a good point in that he could use a hand. He'd never specifically say that (not out loud at least), but in his head he knew it was true. "No," he repeated. "It's too dangerous, especially for you." His words were short, and she knew he was hiding information. She also knew she was wearing him down.

"Batman, you can either accept my help, or you can deal with the entire rest of the Team trying to help." She stated, leaning dangerously forward. You're not afraid, Artemis, she thought. You are in charge of this conversation.

"Is that a threat, Artemis?" Batman asked, glowering at her again. Absently, she wondered if his face ever hurt from doing that too much.

"Yeah, it is, Batman." Artemis responded, narrowing her eyes. No turning back now, she thought, trying to ignore the unsteady beating of her heart as it pounded into her ears.

The Bat narrowed his eyes as well, but otherwise didn't move a muscle. His brain, despite his body's stillness, was going 50 miles per hour as it tried to think, to weigh his options. Every fiber in his body knew that he should say yes, Artemis could be a very useful asset. He knew she still had connections in the underworld from her days with Sportsmaster, and he knew she was almost as skilled as Robin, if not more-so. And if he were to say no, it would only take more time out of his search because the entire Team would pester him. That was something he definitely didn't' need.

"Any day now, Bats." Artemis said, though she already knew his response by the strained look on his face.

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Robin hissed once more as Poison Ivy slapped him across the face, her long fingernails digging into his cheek and leaving yet another mark. By this time of his kidnapping, he was covered in a mangle of blood, sweat, and poisons. He had repeatedly asked for a shower, and had repeatedly been laughed at.

"You know, Bird Boy," she said. Robin rolled his eyes under his torn up mask.

"Yes, Ivy. I know. I can stop all this torture if I just tell you where to find Batman. I've heard if every five minutes. I get it." He muttered, earning him a nasty punch to his bare abdomen.

Ivy snarled at him, before taking some sort of thorn like knife and jamming it into his forearm. She heard his scream as it echoed off the empty walls of the confinement she'd kept the boy in, but it did little to ease her frustrations. Angry, she left the boy alone and allowed Venus to care for his most recent injuries. She briefly informed Venus he needed a bath, and walked back to the 'kitchen.'

Let the children have fun during 'bath time'. She mused to herself, a small smirk growing on her green-tainted lips.

"Well, I'd have never guessed," a familiar, low and smooth voice called out to her.

Pamela looked up, briefly startled at her old friend. But her expression quickly turned back to a smirk, though slightly smaller, as she opened the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of tea she'd made earlier.

"Guessed what, Selina?" she smirked, holding the bottle up to her lips before she took a small sip. "That I'm up to my usual shenanigans?"

The cat-themed anti-hero laughed from her perch on the old sofa the gardener had, twirling her faux tail around her gloved fingers and throwing her head back. "No, Red, I mean kidnapping the B Man's little bird." Catwoman elaborated. "You know how antsy Joker gets when someone steals his thunder." She smirked at her friend, and leaped off the couch, waltzing over to wear Ivy was standing.

"Ugh." She grunted in annoyance, taking another swig of her herbal tea. "As if I care what the clown thinks. It's not like I plan on giving the kid back."

She rolled her emerald eyes before they settled once more on the leather-clad love interest of her mortal enemy. One would think that someone like Poison Ivy would despise Batman's most famous kitty, but Ivy saw her as a liability the Bat had. One she could exploit if needed.

"Oh?" Selina asked, rummaging through the refrigerator herself to find something to drink, eventually settling on nothing. "And what do you plan on doing with him, then?"

Ivy laughed, as though she'd just been asked the dumbest question ever. "I'm going to teach him how to garden." She said, her words dripping dangerously with sarcasm. "Idiot, I'm trying to find out how to get Batman."

This forced a look of disgust to briefly cross Selina's face, so briefly Poison Ivy almost didn't see it.

"Why?" Selina asked, her muscles tensing ever so slightly. Pamela would recognize that look in Selina's eyes anywhere. Fire; a defensive state to protect something close to one's heart. Selina was preparing to fight. Over Batman.

"For fun, of course." Ivy claimed, sipping more at her tea, smirking at the look her friend gave her. "Oh, don't give me that look."

Selina's muscles relaxed, but her eyes didn't. They were daggers, and they were aimed at Ivy's throat should she threaten Catwoman's play toy. "Sorry, Pammy. You can't have Batman unless you plan on giving him back." She smirked wickedly, not even trying to hide the resentment towards the insane woman before her.

"Well, sorry Selina. But I will, and I don't." Ivy scoffed. "Oh don't worry, I'll let you play with him sometimes. I know how much you love playing with him." She rolled her eyes, ignoring how much she was upsetting Catwoman. She could see her clawed hand twitch around her hip where her whip was located, only making Ivy laugh more.

"You should see the number I did on him." Ivy laughed to herself, looking at the spark of interest flash in her friend's dark green eyes.

Without needing to hear her ask, Ivy grabbed Selina by the wrist and began walking towards where her captive was being held. They entered just in time, as Venus was leading the boy out to the bathroom, probably to give him a shower or something.

Selina was utterly shocked at Robin's condition. She herself had beaten the kid a time or two, but she'd always taken it way too easy on him, leaving only a bruise or two to show that she'd actually fought back. It was all a show, to keep up the villainess reputation.

But the way he looked now was utterly horrifying. He had blood smeared across every inch of his exposed skin, discoloring it so much you couldn't even see the sources. The wounds were hidden beneath a layer of grime and filth that had probably been building up for God knows how long. He shivered, the muscle tone that she had so respected in the young boy completely gone from lack of moving and doing things on his own. His pale skin practically hung on muscles that used to be there. And he shivered, being shirtless in a cold warehouse probably didn't help much. He looked at her like an abused dog looks at an animal control officer as it's being led to the pound.

"Selina…" he whispered, before the small girl tugged gently on the chain around his wrists. He wasn't even strong enough to fight back, physically or emotionally. He was simply led away, down the hallway, his chains rattling with his movement. Having been satisfied with her friend's reaction, Ivy took the two back to the kitchen.

"He looks bad, Ivy. Really bad." Selina said, the kidding tone gone from her voice. As was the threatening tone, and Ivy realized Catwoman was serious. She would probably do something stupid and protect the Caped Crusader rather than just let Ivy deal with it. "What's up with the new kid, anyway?"

"Who, Venus?" Ivy asked, her tea gone now and she replaced the bottle in the sink. "She's what got me thinking about all this kidnapping stuff in the first place."

"I heard she's been living here permanently for a while now." Selina mused. "You're not turning into a walking day care center, are you?"

Ivy laughed, a raspy noise that resembled the shuffling of leaves. "No, Selina, I'm not. I have Robin because that's how I got Venus to agree to be here. The original plan was to get Batman weak and then kill him," Selina's face didn't change, surprisingly. "But then Bird Boy messed up, and accidentally told Venus he's leaked on their secret identity."

Inwardly, Selina Kyle was laughing her ass off. She was honestly rather hysterical, but on the outside she only smirked. On the outside, her eyes barely sparkled with mischief, and on the outside she wasn't relaying the fact that she was the only outsider who knew the identities of not only the Dynamic Duo, but also Batgirl, and a few other heroes that she'd squeezed out of the Bat computer once.

And Robin hadn't been the one to mess up, either. She'd followed Batman home after one of their 'dates' and he hadn't been paying enough attention to the fact that she was following him. After discovering the Bat-Cave, it was only a matter of time (i.e. five minutes) before she saw Dick running around in his Robin outfit but without a mask, and Bruce take his cowl off. In the end, Alfred had been the one to notice her presence, a fact she was rather ashamed of.

"What's that?" Pamela asked, pulling Selina out of her memories.

"What?" the infamous cat responded, faux innocence lining her voice like a fur coat.

"That little smirk." Ivy elaborated. "It grew bigger just then." Then something hit her, a realization like no other. "You know…" she whispered.

Selina's smirk only grew. She shook her head, walking backwards away from the plant-obsessed woman. "Loved our little chat, Red. We should do it more often." She called from the door, where she briefly lingered before her silhouette was gone.

With revived vigor, she made her way back to Robin's chamber and opened the door. "Okay, Bird Boy. You're going to tell me what Catwoman knows right now."

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DUN DUN DUN! Did Selina help, or did she make it worse? We'll never know. Maybe she'll tell Batman where they are. Or maybe she'll tell Ivy where Batman is. Who knows.

This chapter…. Was pretty uneventful. Anyway, please review! I love your reviews, especially when they're long. I really like the prediction reviews, actually. It gives me ideas and sometimes they entertain me and make me smile because SOMEONE IS ACTUALLY READING MY LONG AUTHOR'S NOTES AND CRAZY FANFICTIONS.

That is all.

REVIEW!

~Charlie~