Chapter 3

The three of us walked into first period, together. I have most of my classes with Gerald and Phoebe. We tried to do that on purpose. Gerald also is a pretty good friend to have around, I now know why Arnold is very fond of him. Also, attending the same first period was Rhonda, which was just wonderful because we get to see her daily fashion before the rest of the school does, Yippeee. I like Rhonda though, for the most part. She can be kind of rude, but I don't think she realizes she's doing it. It amazes me that Nadine and her are still best friends, just because they are so different. Stinky is in first period with us too, he never lost his accent through the years despite living in the city and he was by far the tallest kid in our school.

Our first period was History, which I usually day dreamed through. I do that for most of my classes. All I can think about is Arnold, when will I see him? When will he be back? I wonder what his parents look like, I wonder what he has planned. Today might be the best day in my life. I haven't felt this alive, since well, maybe our valentine's day date in fourth grade? Oh my god, what will I say when I see him? What if he doesn't recognize me? What if he thinks I'm ugly? I can't take this anticipation. Clearly, I was in my own world because the bell rang and Phoebe was tapping my shoulder.

"Come on, Helga"

"Right, Phoebs. Sorry" I was sorry. Sorry for myself, being so caught up like a loser. Next we had homeroom, which was the dumbest thing. They took attendence and let us sit for twenty minutes. So basically, we just get to hang out for that long. Phoebe Always did her history homework in homeroom, she's such an over-acheiver sometimes. The cool thing about our homeroom was that pretty much our whole old gang was in it. Miss. Perfect had grown up to be just the way you would imagine. She was probably 5'6", her hair was usually down straight and she was still wearing dresses (usually mint green). I still wear a dress sometimes too, but mostly I wear jeans. At least now if I wear something girly, no one notices. Or at least they don't say anything about it. Harold was in our homeroom too, he was actually not so bad looking, if you're into the football player type. You know, like 5'10" and built like a brick wall. Harold was in mostly lower level classes, but he wasn't dumb. I think he is just lazy or something. Sid has almost grown into his nose, he stands at about my height, around 5'7". He still dresses in boots and leather jackets. Curly had really changed, he became the hot guy that all the girls like, including Rhonda. No one knows that, but I can definitely see right through her. It's easy to tell who likes who because I've spent my whole life hiding my love for someone.

Nadine is really pretty, she might be the best looking girl in our grade. I think Rhonda gets jealous from time to time, but she shouldn't. Nadine is such a good person, she would never use her beauty against anyone. Besides, I don't think Nadine realizes how attractive she is, Rhonda always takes the spotlight. Sheena is probably the tallest girl, she was about 6'1" and still a tree hugging, musical adoring hippy, not that I minded her. Eugene was still her best friend and they attended some theater group together over the summer. I'm not sure if Eugene is gay or not, but if not he'll probably end up with Sheena, even if she's double his height. Looking around the room at my classmates, the ones I've known forever, I realize that I'm lucky to have such a cool group. They all know me inside and out and accept me, it feels good. We are missing a critical member of our crew though, even if it's been four years we still can't fill the void. The bell rings again, so it's time for my art class. This period I'm without Gerald and Phoebe, but that's okay.

Walking down the hallway, I notice Rhonda talking to Curly.

"Oh Thad, I'm having a little get together this weekend and I'd love for you to come"

"Okay, Rhonda. I don't know if I can make it" Curly said, as he was walking away. It's funny how things have changed. I quicken my pace once Rhonda is out of sight and catch up to Curly.

"Oooh, Curly. Rhonda asked you on a date" I said, trying to sound as elementary school as possible.

"Shut up, Helga." As if I was really teasing him, getting on his nerves.

"It's not my fault that you play hard to get on purpose. It's funny how it drives the princess mad though."

"Yeah, you know why I do it though. Girls want what they can't have."

"Whatever Curly, you'll never know what you're missing if you don't try it."

"You're right, I guess I'll think about it."

It was amazing, that the hottest boy in school(deemed by all the other girls, not me. I only have one love) could get so nervous all because of Rhonda. I mean, yeah the poor boy has obessesed over her since he was little, so I of all people understand and she is the princess. I always admired Curly for being so open and unafraid of rejection. He would pour his heart out to Rhonda, who I think secretely loved the attention. Curly was in my art class, we sat next to each other. We have become really good friends over the years, I never told him about Arnold, but somehow I think he knows.

Today in art we were doing regular drawings, that we would paint later on. I couldn't keep my mind in place since this morning. Is it true what Curly said? That girls only want what they can't have? What if that means I don't love Arnold, maybe I just think I love him because he doesn't love me. If that's true, then I feel like my whole life is a lie. What if he kisses me and I get disgusted?

Helga old girl, pull yourself together. You know that's not true, Arnold is a part of you. You've kissed him before and loved it, I mean maybe we were kids, but still it happened. It happened 3 times, I guess my scheming really did pay off from time to time. I wonder if Arnold still thinks about our kisses, I hope so. While I was off in thought, I gazed down at my paper. Holy crap! I drew him, I drew him on the paper.

I looked around to see if anyone noticed and they didn't. I quickly sketched it into a football. Just a plain ordinary football, for uh football season. I can't believe I just did that. Thank god no one saw that, that would have been embarrassing. Even Curly sitting next to me didn't notice, he was too busy drawing whatever it is, I had no clue. I must be really pathetic, still pining after the same boy for eleven years. I just can't help it, I tried to forget about him once, it never worked out well. Like I said he's a part of me, to lose him would be losing myself.

Next period was lunch, our schedules were strange. We had four classes a day, that alternated every other day. As I made my way to the cafeteria, I caught up with Gerald and Phoebe. I could hear Phoebe say something like "What do you think he's going to do?", but as soon as they saw me they changed the subject.

"Oh hi Helga, how was your art class today?" Phoebe asked me. I told her it was good, I didn't mention my drawing. Not in front of Gerald. He may know that I like Arnold, but he has no idea of the full extent. I don't know how Gerald would react, if I said I was in love since I was 3 and I'm not ready to find out.

I usually sat with the same lunch crew everyday; Lila, Gerald, Phoebe, Rhonda and Nadine. We were kind of like the cool table, sometimes I find it hard to believe I sit there. Rhonda usually played fashion police, which was pretty entertaining.

"Can you believe that Katrinka is wearing that to school?" Here she goes again, I thought. Katrinka was wearing some ridiculous overly fuzzy sweater, I didn't like them very much myself.

"She kind of looks like Iggy with his bunny suit" Nadine said. Everyone laughed, except Lila.

"What are you talking about?" Lila asked.

"Oh yeah, you weren't here when that happened. Iggy was sick and out of school one day back in the fourth grade, so Arnold volunteered to bring Iggy his homework. When Arnold dropped by unexpectedly, he saw Iggy wearing bunny pajamas, footies and all. Arnold promised he wouldn't tell anyone, but the next day at school, Sid and Stinky forced it out of him. When Iggy found out people knew, he told Arnold the only way to make it up to him would be to wear the pajamas in public. So being the great guy he is, Arnold did it and everyone saw"

"Oh gosh, I'm ever so certain I wasn't here for that. I wonder what Arnold is up to anyways, has anyone heard from him?" Gee, Lila, did you have to mention that? Maybe she doesn't even know I still like him. Or maybe she's trying to get information for me. I can never figure her out.

"Well, I've gotten a couple of letters from him over the years, as far as I know he's still alive. Maybe we'll see him soon" Gerald said, not knowing I know.

"What do you mean by that? How do you know we might see him?" I had to ask, just had to.

Gerald looked at Phoebe with a face that said you told her didn't you. "Oh nothing, I just know my man Arnold and I have a feeling he'll be back home soon"

"Well that would be ever so nice Gerald, let's hope you're right" Said Lila.

"I kind of miss Arnold, he was always the glue that held us together" Okay, Rhonda. You're not stealing him away from me, you have Curly.

"Yeah, Arnold really is a great guy. He was always ever so gallant, I do hope he hasn't changed" What if Lila was right? What if Arnold had changed? I hope he didn't, I really do.

The rest of the school day seemed to fly by. Thoughts of Arnold filled my head as I neglected to pay attention in my classes. I couldn't wait for school to be out so I could go home and write. I was feeling inspired.

When school finally was out I pratically ran out of the building. I didn't even say goodbye to Phoebe, I just wanted to get home.

"Hey Helga, wait up!" I could hear Phoebe calling to me. Crap, I forgot about after school tutoring. I stopped in my tracks and turned to see my friend catching her breath. "I just wanted to wish you good luck tonight and I don't blame you for skipping out on tutoring today. I know you're anxious and I totally get it" and with that Phoebe gave me a hug and said "Catch you later Helga". She skipped off and I continued my walk homeward bound. As I was thinking of Phoebe and how great she is, something caught my eye. It was a leaf on the ground in the shape of my beloved's head, I couldn't help but to laugh at myself. Remembering that time that I was seeing his face everywhere and I got the anti-love potion. Hah, I was pretty strange back then. I wanted to walk by the boarding house, real badly, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I wouldn't want him to see me or to think I was stalking him, that stage in my life is over. If I walked by though, I would have a better idea if he was home yet or not. After much internal debate, I decided against it. I was pretty much at my house already anyways.

When I walked in the door, I bolted directly upstairs into my room and onto my bed. I reached under to grab one of my pink notebooks, when I saw my diary. I stopped and contemplated reading that instead, reading that particular entry I had written 4 years ago. Get a grip, Helga old girl, you can do this. With that thought I opened it, right to that page and began to read.