Notes:Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, favorited and subscribed. It means the world to me that you guys enjoyed my writing enough to do that and I really appreciate that you took the time to do it after you read.
I think unless things really get away from me there will be one more installment after this one that will wholly resolve things.
Just a note of warning, there's nothing graphically described, but this chapter does continue the themes of emotional abuse, and to a point physical abuse as well.
"Is that what you really think?" Josh asks his question as his niece's sobs taper off. He's spent the past few minutes, holding her close to his chest and stroking her hair, just trying to calm her while he processes everything that she's just revealed. "That you're not good enough?"
That's the real sticking point amongst all of the heart-wrenching things Riley revealed. It's clear that her self-esteem, which has never been the strongest to begin with, has tanked with the events of the past few months. The bully (which no-one had told him about and you can be sure that there will be words about that at some point because he can't do his job as an Uncle if he doesn't have all the information), the love triangle situation, this new boyfriend…
Josh likes to think he got all of the best parts of his brothers and sister. Morgan's smarts (and just a hint of her sass). Cory's problem solving. Eric's caring. He might complain that being the youngest means he never gets away with anything with his parents because they have definitely seen all the schemes before, but it also means he had the chance to learn from three really great siblings. He's heard all the stories about their biggest problems and mistakes and how they dealt with them, and it's through those stories that he's grown into who he is today. Someone who always does his best to deal with the troubles of his friends and family but is smart enough to know when he's in over his head and needs to ask for help.
Like now.
Granted, he hasn't met Charlie. Hasn't actually seen him interact with Riley. The only information he has comes from Riley. But he's sure that what she described is not a healthy relationship. Josh just doesn't know what to do with that information. He can only hope that with a little bit of conversation, Riley will agree to talk about all of this with her parents.
"I don't know." Riley wipes at the tears streaking her face. "Everything's totally messed up and most of it's my fault...If I had just been smarter or more realistic or something then maybe-"
"OK, stop right there for a second." Josh cuts her off. He can't listen to Riley tear herself down again, and needs to try and correct her; it seems as though in the past few months that no one else has. "First of all, you are plenty smart. You're about ten times smarter than I was at your age, so that says something right there. Second of all, what you wanted was totally realistic."
"No, it wasn't. I'm not pretty or special like-,"
"Like who? Maya? Riley, just because you're not just like her doesn't mean you're not every bit as good to her. Different people like different things. No one is any less or any more because of who wants to date them."
Josh is also fairly sure that in all of her ranting and confessions, not once did Riley say anything that Lucas had told her; it all seemed to come from Charlie or be something that she's come up with on her own. He doesn't say this, since it's counter to the message he's trying to get across and it seems like Riley's confused enough without his help.
"You are good enough, Riley. For whatever you want to do, or whoever you want to like. They may not always like you back, because that's one of the suckier parts of the way the world works, but it's never going to be because you're not good enough. And if they tell you that it is, believe me, the only person that's not good enough is them."
Riley doesn't answer. Unsurprising, all things considered. It's not like a few words from him were going to totally undo the months of insecurity that had been building up inside of her. It's yet another reason he wants to talk about all of this with his brother and Topanga; Josh, of course, will do what he can, but he's only going to be there for three days. Someone will have to keep things up later, and at the moment he can't say that he trusts her friends to do that (although he's halfway forming a plan to deal with them too).
The entire thing is a mess.
He broaches the topic as delicately as he can. "I think we should maybe talk about this with your parents."
"They already know most of it." Riley says. He knows it's a lie. She's not looking at him when she says it, just at her hands sitting in her lap.
"They don't know that you've been feeling like this." He counters, pulling her hand into his. He's also willing to bet money that they think her relationship with Charlie is normal and harmless, though that's not a subject he wants to tackle without doing more research (or having a little more backup present). "And they should. This is the kind of thing parents need to know about. They can help."
A long silence passes while he lets Riley think. "I wouldn't even know what to tell them."
"Pretty much what you told me. And I'll be right there with you."
She leans back against his chest again. They talk on the subject for a few more minutes, mostly with him trying to reassure Riley that Cory and Topanga won't be upset with her, and will only want to make sure that she's OK.
The conversation runs out not long after that. There's still a lot to say, just no easy way to say any of it. Riley saves them the awkwardness, insisting that she needs to take a shower before her parents get home if she's going to feel remotely human and presentable.
Josh doesn't argue with her.
When she's out of the room he texts Cory to tell him that Riley has some things to talk about with them and that they'll need a family meeting. After a moment's thought he sends the message to Topanga too, and tacks on to both that there's no emergency, in the hopes that they won't worry too much in the interim.
After that, he gets online and starts searching all the things that Riley mentioned about Charlie that raised red flags for him. The results he gets are about what he expected, but they're not encouraging. Josh doesn't know how he can bring them up to Riley, if she'd even be willing to consider any of it. He doesn't want to fight with her, and he doesn't want to hurt her or make her uncomfortable by springing it on her when her parents are there and she's not expecting it at all, so he settles on sending the page he likes best to her phone. They can talk about it when she gets out of the shower.
Josh thinks about the chaos with Riley's friends too, but he's even less sure what to do with that. So much of the mess there is tied into decisions and feelings that he doesn't understand—that he can't understand. He can sort of get where Riley was coming from, choosing to step back for her friend rather than fight over a guy, and he understands it better when he hears that she was recipient of the Jack/Eric/Rachel story; Riley's decision to try and preserve the friendship of the whole group makes sense for her, even though it's obvious that she didn't really understand how the emotions of that would work and it's made things messier than she probably thought.
What he can't wrap his head around at all is how the situation came to be in the first place. Whenever he had seen the group together, the relationships seemed about as firmly established as they could get in middle school. Riley and Lucas were in serious heart-eyes mode with each other, Riley and Maya were practically sisters, and Maya got along with Lucas-but that was about it. So when did Maya start liking Lucas? And when did she stop liking him?
It's not that Josh expected her to like him and only him for years while she played her 'long game'. Feelings happen whether you want them to or not and Maya's not immune to that. But he can't believe that her feelings made such a sharp u-turn to bring her to Lucas.
What bothers him more than Maya apparently having these feelings for the guy his niece was unofficially dating, or even that the two are now dating (Riley did encourage them to feel their feelings and tell a few lies to get them to do it) is that nobody has noticed that Riley isn't as OK as she's been saying. These are supposed to be her best friends, her family, and not one of them has done anything to prove it lately. He knows Riley. She's not that good of an actress or liar; he can be almost entirely certain that there have been clues if people are paying attention that should have motivated them to do something.
They should have talked to her. They should have checked in with her once and a while about how she was feeling after her bully stopped bothering her. They should have noticed enough to be worried, and if Riley wouldn't talk to them or tell them the truth after that, they should have gone to Cory and Topanga.
A breakdown like the one Riley just had in his arms, takes time to build up. It doesn't just come out of nowhere, and the fact that Riley accumulated that much stress and hurt kills him.
Josh has half a mind to track them all down and tell them how angry he is.
Except it won't fix anything, and Riley needs him here. He settles for sitting on the couch, stewing, and thinking about what he can do that will help.
"Josh, what's this?"
Riley comes back into the living room, phone in hand and interrupts this process. She's changed into pajama pants and a sweatshirt big enough that it probably belongs to his brother; her wet hair is pulled into a loose braid and it's still incredibly obvious that she's been crying, but at the moment she's more a strange mix of confused and angry than upset.
"What's what?"
She reads off the screen, "30 Signs of Emotional Abuse in Relationships," then looks back at him. "Why would you send me this? Is this what you think of me and Charlie?"
He hesitates. He wants to give her an answer that's not a lie, but that won't influence her or make her shut down the conversation. If he's right, Riley needs to come to the decision on her own, and for her to do that, she needs to be open to it in the first place.
He finally settles on, "I don't know Charlie. I only know what you've told me. So what I think's not as important as what you think."
Her eyes flash. "Well I don't think that."
"OK." Josh nods. He doesn't want to fight. A beat passes. "Did you read the page?"
Riley sits. She sits and she reads, and the further down the page she gets the more her frown changes. Josh watches the anger and indignation get traded out for confusion and then she starts biting her lip. When the door to the apartment opens and Auggie comes rushing in, tackling Josh into a hug, with Cory and Topanga close behind, Riley is still reading. She quickly tucks her phone into the pocket of her sweatshirt, and plasters a smile across her face.
The family goes through the motions while Auggie chatters excitedly about school and Ava, but there's a tension obvious to everyone who's not in elementary school. Smiles are tight, and glances keep getting sent around the room when people think the others aren't looking, and eventually Topanga ushers Auggie to his room to get ready for his sleepover (apparently somebody named Doy and his parents will be picking him up soon). Only Josh's promise that he's going to be in the city for the whole weekend gets the boy to leave with his mother.
They have a very awkward conversation about plans for graduation and what Josh is looking forward to about NYU's summer program that carries over until Doy (seriously, what is that name?) and his parents pick up Auggie.
"So Riley," Topanga starts when they're alone, as always the picture of calm and grace, "Josh told us that there are some things you need to-,"
"I think I need to break up with Charlie."
By the middle of the next morning, Josh finds himself sitting inside Topanga's bakery, while Riley and Charlie meet up at one of the tables outdoors. He spent most of the night sitting up with Riley in the bay window, talking to her about how to break up with someone and reassuring her that she's doing the right thing and watching movies when they were finished with that but she was still too nervous to sleep.
The conversation with Cory and Topanga on the previous day went as well as he could have expected (and he's fairly certain much better than Riley had). She went through her story again and did her best to deal with her parents' questions. Josh learned a few new details the second time through, like the fact that Cory and Topanga had no idea that she had been targeted by a bully.
Oh, they had known that something had been upsetting her a couple of months ago, but they trusted Maya and the group to take care of it and come to them if it was something serious. Apparently no one had considered it to be serious enough. Josh files that away as another reason he's angry with them. Just because they were able to get the bully to stop on their own doesn't mean that they still shouldn't have let Cory and Topanga know what had happened; the insults and hurtful words weren't going to just disappear from Riley's memory when they stopped being sent to her and her parents should have at least known so they could check in with her.
Cory and Topanga offered as much support as they could. They didn't lecture, though they reminded Riley that they're always an option for her to come to for advice or just to vent to, and they agreed that while, like Josh, they couldn't definitively make any judgments about Charlie, they thought the relationship didn't sound like it had a good balance and that Riley should go with her gut, break up with him and take some time to really take care of herself again.
On their advice Riley decides to do it in public, and while she didn't want anyone right there, she did ask Josh to be nearby so they could go home right when it was done.
So he's inside, sitting at the counter where he can sort of see outside but be subtle about it, and fooling around on his phone while she deals with that. Katy Hart is running the little cafe, and Riley's friend, Farkle, who apparently has a girlfriend now named Smackle (he really needs to find out what's going on with the water in New York that these are the names people get) is sharing a smoothie with her at a corner table and debating the merits of some recently released study. He resists the urge to say anything to Farkle outside of the cursory polite small talk when they see each other. From what Riley had said he was the only one who had been remotely involved in trying to make sure that she was OK after they had gone to Texas, and he doesn't want to air any of Riley's secrets and feelings in public anyways.
Josh checks on what's happening outside every couple of minutes and for the longest time it seems like a normal, if drawn out break up. He can only really see Riley, since she's the one facing the window, but it all looks normal. She's a little nervous as they talk, and then sad, and Charlie's holding her hand across the table. Then Josh gets distracted.
"You're Riley's uncle, right?" Katy Hart asks as she makes her way back behind the counter and starts wiping it down. "The one that Maya has a crush on?"
It's distracting for two reasons. It's always weird dealing with the parents of the girl that you have something going on with (even if the something is almost entirely theoretical) and Katy's not talking about it in the past tense.
"I, uh...I wouldn't...that is I-,"
She laughs. "Relax kid. I know you've been really good about it. Cory has nothing but good things to say about you."
"Oh." Josh runs a hand through his hair as an excuse to take a breath. "That's good I guess."
"It is. I know I really appreciate how you've dealt with what I know must be an awkward situation."
"To be honest, it seemed a lot easier then than it does now."
"You mean the Lucas thing?" Katy abandons her pretense of cleaning the counters, and leans forward on her elbows. "Yeah, that one kind of came out of nowhere. I've tried getting the story from her but Maya's not big on the whole girl talk with her moth-,"
A loud crash outside cuts Katy off and they both turn. Josh can't see Riley anymore, or the table. He runs out, Katy behind him, and as he pushes through the door he sees scene that paints a fairly clear picture about what he missed.
Riley is on the ground next to the upended table, crying and cradling her wrist. Her lip is red and starting to swell with the corner split and bloody. Charlie is bent over her, apologizing and trying to reach out, but she's scrambling backwards. Josh can't stop himself.
He grabs the neck of Charlie's jacket and yanks him backwards, turning and slamming the younger boy against the wall of Topanga's, pinning him with one arm across his chest. "You want to give me one reason not to to just lay into you?"
"I—It was an accident. I didn't do anything!" Charlie's eyes dart between him and the scene with Riley behind him.
Josh pushes his arm against Charlie a little harder. "Try again."
"Josh, Riley needs you right now." Katy interrupts from behind.
Josh glances back. The older woman is crouched next to Riley alongside Farkle, helping her sit up. Riley's still crying. She's not really letting either of them touch her and her eyes are wide with shock and fear. He glares at Charlie, shoves him once more, and releases him so he can go back to his niece. He trades spots with Katy, who Charlie is quick to thank.
"Thanks, Ms. Hart. It really was an accident. We were just messing around pulling at each other and it got a little out of control. I'll pay for the broken table and we can just forget it ever-,"
"Don't think I'm that stupid, young man." Katy cuts him off in what can only be described as an angry mother tone. Her arms are crossed over her chest as she stalks closer to Charlie, and the glare in her eyes is sharp. It's as harsh as anything that Josh has ever seen from his mother, and for the briefest of moments he wonders why Maya even dares to break as many rules as she does if she risks this sort of reaction. "I know why Riley asked you to meet her here this morning, so you think long and hard before you say anything that even resembles an excuse like that again. Whether or not you pay for the table is up to the owner, not me, and I'm sure she'll be a lot more concerned with the other damage that was done here today."
"I was just-,"
"Go home, Charlie." She orders. "And leave Riley alone unless she asks to talk to you."
Charlie tries a few more half-hearted protests that Katy rebuffs before he leaves, angrily kicking at one of the fallen cups as he does.
"He didn't hit me." Riley says once he's gone, hiccuping a little around her tears. Farkle's the one that gives her a pointed look. "He didn't, I promise. He was holding my wrist, tight, and it hurt so I was trying to pull away but he wouldn't let go. We were pulling back and forth and he suddenly let go and my hand flew into my face and I fell into the table and—ow ow ow!" She cuts herself off, when Josh tries to look at her wrist.
He can see the marks from where Charlie had been holding her and, like her lip, it's already swelling. Josh already regrets listening to Katy and letting Charlie go.
"I'll get you some ice." Farkle volunteers. He runs back into the bakery.
"And a couple towels!" Katy calls after him. She looks at the rest of the gathered crowd and waves a hand, urging them back inside. "OK, guys. Head back in. There's nothing to see here." As the teens leave, some of them rather reluctantly, she crouches down and lays a gentle hand on Riley's shoulder. "How're you doing, sweetie?" She's in full mom-mode now, on the opposite end of the spectrum.
Riley leans against Josh's chest. Her crying has slowed and all the energy seems to just rush out of her. "I don't know..."
"That's OK. These sorts of things are really confusing. It's OK not to know." Katy assures. "I'm going to call your mom and tell her what happened, all right?" She waits for Riley to nod before continuing. "When Farkle gets back with that ice, I think you should let your Uncle take you to the doctor. I'm not an expert, but your wrist looks like it hurts a lot, and it's better to get it checked out and have it be nothing than to ignore it and have it get worse." She waits again for Riley's acknowledgment. "There's an urgent care a couple of blocks down the street. I'll make sure Topanga knows to meet you guys there."
Josh manages a half-smile for the caring woman. "Thanks."