Stiles can't believe Derek. He hates that he started to believe that Derek would be there for him. But most of all he hates that its hurts so much, that Derek never came after him. He knows how scared Derek is because so is he. But he can't run away from this like Derek can.
Derek heads home to think about things. Now that he has calmed down, he can see he should have never let Stiles walk away on his own.
He knows he's being a selfish bastard but he feels like his life is spinning out of control. He just doesn't know what to do.
"You should go after our mate and care for him that's what you should do. He is our mate"
Derek knows his wolf is right "shouldn't you be on my side in this. I mean you are a part of me aren't you scared"
His wolf replies "of course am scared but we have been blessed with our pup and our mate. They need us to be strong, they need us to protect them but most of all they need us to love them"
Derek doesn't know if he can love. He knows loves his pack but that different. That is what is scaring he the most. He doesn't know if he loves Stiles, he has never been in love before. How can he be with Stiles when he doesn't even know how to be with him. Derek turns over and closes his eyes he is asleep soon after.
Stiles arrives home and goes for a shower, when he gets out there is Derek sitting on his bed. Stiles pulls the bath towel tighter around him.
Stiles says "Derek what are you doing here I'm to tired to fight or fuck which it seems are the only two things we have no problem with"
Derek laughs and says "Derek is not here. I am Derek's wolf and might I say you look beautiful my mate"
Stiles is in shock "how can you be Derek's wolf when your Derek. That didn't make any sense sorry. What I mean is how are you talking through Derek I thought you was only his wolf"
Derek nods "that's true but Derek and I share the same body. We just have different minds and personalities. When I am in my wolf body Derek is always with me and when he is human I am always with him. while Derek sleeps I can speak through him or when you need me"
Stiles feels so confused "ok lets forget that for now. Too much information today feel like am gonna explode with it what are you doing hear"
Derek's wolf replies "I couldn't rest the way we left things. I know Derek is a idiot and he meant everything he said about being there for you. About wanting to be with you but right now he feels like everything is out of his control and for a alpha wolf being out of control is not something we handle well"
Stiles can understand that "so what do I need to do, how can I help him. I want to be with him, with you as well. I just feel like he doesn't want to be with me, like all he cares about is the pups. While that a good thing when your a father. It's a crap thing when your in a relationship"
Derek wolf can't answer that because he doesn't know how Derek feels about Stiles. Hell Derek doesn't even know but he need to say something to Stiles.
"I think he just need time and space. I think you need to give him that. Derek has never had a family or a real relationship, so he doesn't know how to be in ether. He needs to decide what he wants but I do know that if you ever need him he will be there in heartbeat"
Stiles can feel his eyes filling with tears, great even his wolf knows that Derek doesn't want to be with me. He thinks and what's with all this crying I mean really I will be on opera soon he can even see the title 'my alpha wolf doesn't want me he just want my pups!
Stiles says "I need to be alone can you just leave please. Tell Derek he can have as much space as he needs, but just don't expect me to wait around for him"
Derek's wolf gets up kisses Stiles on his head and leaves. Stiles climb's on the bed and cry's himself to sleep not noticing the rain and thunder started the moment he started crying.
1 month later
Stiles wakes up and tries to get up knowing he can't manage it on his own any more. His stomach has gotten to big, so he just lays back down and decides he is not getting out of bed today.
Stiles hasn't seen Scott since that day in his bedroom he has gone on some holiday. He won't be back until after the baby is born.
God he really could use his friend to talk to. He hasn't seen Derek in over a month Derek keeps ringing and texting but Stiles just ignore him.
Stiles is due in a little under 2 months time. Everything is ready for the babies. He and his dad went a bit crazy on Amazon buying teddies and blankets and stuff.
He is just starting dozing off when his son thinks its nice to bounce on daddy's bladder. Stiles nearly pees himself he shouts he dad up to come and help him out of bed and to the bathroom.
Stiles dad can't help but say "are you sure there is only two babies in there Stiles"
Stiles know's he is fat but it was mean of his dad to say so. He feels his lip trembling. Stiles dad sees this and says "Stiles am sorry you look beautiful and all glowing'
Stiles just laughs "really dad am all glowing" he burst out laughing and cant stop his emotions have been all over the place lately.
One minute he is crying then he is laughing but worst of all he is always Horney. His wrist is actually sore from jerking off so much.
Stiles is also missing Derek, it like there's a hole in his heart. He knows he fell in love with Derek but he also knows Derek doesn't love him back.
Stiles dad can see Stiles is thinking of Derek again. He sighs he wishes them two could sort them selves out as he thinks that Stiles phone rings its Derek.
Stiles goes to cancel the call but Stiles dad pull it out of Stiles hand and answers "hello Derek its Stiles dad"
Derek replies "oh hi Mr Stilinski would it be possible to be speak to Stiles please"
Stiles dad says "how about you come over for dinner I think we all need to have a chat and sort this mess out before the babies come"
Derek agrees and as when Stiles dad puts the phone down Stiles shouts
"Why did you do that dad I don't want to see him?"
Stiles dad says "yes you do son. Your just to afraid to admit it, your afraid he will leave again but this needs sorting out. You will need Derek to be at the birth and do you really want that time to be the first time you see him in months"
Stiles knows his dad is right, so he decide that he will see Derek and he will be pleasant to him but he and Derek are over. Derek can be there for there pups but he can't be there for Stiles. Its to late for that.
Derek arrives at Stiles house at 1:30 he can feel the tension in the air as he knocks on the door. Stiles dad answers the door offering Derek his hand, Derek takes it and walks into the house. Derek moves into the kitchen to see Stiles sitting down at the table he can't see his belly as its under the table.
His breath whooshes out of his lungs when Stiles stands up turns his back and walks out of the room. Derek doesn't know what to do so he just stands there.
Stiles can't bare to look at Derek, because he hates the way his heart skips a beat. The only thought in his head is to kiss Derek's lips, but what he can't bare the most is the way he feels when he sees him. So he gets up and walks to his room Derek doesn't follow him and he thinks that's what hurts the most.
Stiles dad walks into the kitchen to see Derek still standing there. He saw Stiles walk to his room.
Stiles dad walks over to Derek slaps him upside his head and says "why the hell are you still standing go and speak to him"
Derek runs up the stairs and into Stiles bedroom. He see's Stiles is sitting on a chair looking out his window his hands holding his stomach.
He just stands there he can't speak. He has never see anyone look beautiful and so sad at the same time. He knows its his fault but he doesn't know what to do or what to say. So he just stands there barely breathing.
Stiles knows the moment Derek walks into the room he says the only thing that goes through his mind
"so your hear. I guess that means you made your choice. So hears where I tell you what I choose to do. You can be as much a part of ours babies lives as you want. I will be civil to you when we meet but you and I are finished"
Derek feels his heart breaking but he knows that he brought this on himself
"I never meant to be gone for as long as I was, but there was some problems with the pack. I know that's no excuse but its all I have. I know I fucked up and I know I promised I would be there for you then I left for a month, but I want you to know that I will never leave you again or our pups if I have a choice in the matter. I want us to be together and If I have to wait all our lives for that to happen I will"
Stiles can't let Derek back in his heart not again "Derek all I hear in that little speech is what you want, but what about what I want. I want to hate you so much but I can't and that's what I hate the most. I love you so much that it hurts to breath when am not with you, but right now I need to do what's best for our children and what best for them is us not being together. Not when all we do is fight"
Derek doesn't know what to say so he goes with his heart "I love you Stiles but when it comes to our pups I think what's best for them is for us to be together"
Stiles turn to Derek tears rolling down his face "I need you to leave please I can't do this right now"
Derek walks over to Stiles and leans down and says "when can we do this I am not leaving you again Stiles I promise"
Stiles can't help but lean forward and kiss him. It hurts to much to be away from him anymore he can't bare it "if you leave again I will never forgive you Derek" then he leans over to kiss him again.
When Stiles wakes the next day with Derek next to him he feels awkward. He has never woke up to with someone next to him before ,somehow this feels more intimate than having sex. He can feel himself blush he feels Derek wake behind him Derek says
"morning love"
Stiles can't help but smile it seems so normal until he tries to sit up and can't he feels ashamed and fat. Derek can feel Stiles tense up
"what up love"
Stiles feel's like his face is on fire "I can't sit up am to fat"
Derek bites the inside of his cheek to keep the silent laughter in
"Stiles your not fat your pregnant and your beautiful" Derek gets out of bed and helps Stiles get up.
Derek and Stiles head for the shower. Stiles dad has already left for work Derek checks the temperature of the water before he steps in and takes Stiles hand to help him in the shower. Stiles groans when he steps under the spray Derek kisses that back of Stiles neck and says softly "you are so beautiful Stiles you take my breath away. I love you"
Stiles turn's around and says "make love to me please"