Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers.

Beta'd by the lovely krystal lazuli.

Enjoy.

"Hey, Thor," Tony began casually.

"Yes, friend Tony?" Thor replied, unsuspecting and oblivious of what would occur.

"You'll never guess what day it is!" Tony answered gleefully with a smirk. Finally, he would get his revenge on Thor. He had actually forgiven Thor for not introducing him to Nessie before, but then Thor had to go and destroy his favorite coffee machine. It wasn't just a coffee machine, but the one that he had specifically spent a whole week building with special features which made his coffee just the way he wanted it. That could not be forgiven. HE WOULD HAVE HIS REVENGE! Well, Loki would be the one actually pranking, but still…

Thor immediately paled, guessing what was going on. He knew Friend Tony was mad at him for the destruction of the machine of coffee, but to show such glee at his misfortune! It was just too cruel for words, he could not stand it! He answered with a sort of resigned look, "It's Thorsday isn't it, Friend Tony?"

"Yup!" Tony agreed, a tad too cheerfully. Don't worry Mr. Coffee Maker, you will be avenged. I swear it, he thought to himself. It was a pity that he would not be able to observe everything in person, but thank goodness he had those amazing devices know as security cameras. He continued, "Anyways, since you're practically a danger zone today, I'm gonna stay far, far away from you. And Jarvis, make sure you record everything."

Thor gave him a horrified look. Was he really being abandoned? Was the machine of coffee really that important? Breaking it had been an accident, he swore! He asked with betrayal clear in his voice, "Friend Tony, you won't really leave me, will you?"

"Of course I will," Tony replied, again a tad too cheerfully, "See? I'm doing right now," he said as he walked out, whistling a cheery tune. He walked right of the room, down the elevator, and into his lab, where he began to watch everything on his computer. This, he thought, is going to be awesome!

The instant Tony left, Thor began pacing around, hoping beyond hope that Loki would forget, when suddenly something went POP!

Thor gulped. This cannot be good, he thought with a small whimper. The noise had come from somewhere behind him, so he slowly turned around, dreading what he would find. To his surprise, instead of a gift, it was his niece. Why is Hela here? he thought with confusion. There's nothing scary about her. Why would Loki send her? It doesn't make any sense.

"Hela?" Thor said in confusion, puzzled at her appearance. "What are you doing in Midgard away from Niflheim?"

Hela glared at him as she crossed her arms. She snapped, "It has been nearly a century since you've seen me, and you're not even going to say hello before interrogating me? Huh? I thought Grandma taught you better manners than that, Uncle. Honestly, didn't you even miss me a bit? I heard you visited Fenrir and Jormungandr, but not me or Sleipnir or the twins? What are we, chopped liver? Don't you even care about us? Well. aren't you even gonna give me a hug?"

"Of course I am," Thor said hastily giving her a hug. Internally he shuddered. Why had he ever thought that his niece wasn't scary? She was scary as hell when angered, pardon the pun. Still though, he had no idea why she was here. He added carefully, "I was just surprised that you're here."

"I got bored," Hela explained, her bad mood evaporating away, "Being the ruler of a kingdom isn't all that it's cracked up to be, you know. There's just paperwork, paperwork, more paperwork, and the occasional explosion. It's honestly not that interesting. So I just decided to drop by and visit you."

"Oh, um okay," Thor replied awkwardly, wondering how to politely tell her that he couldn't spend time with her. Dealing with Fenrir and Jormungandr in the last two weeks and been hard enough, he didn't even want to think about what would happen if spent too long with her.

"Anyways, let's play dress up!" Hela said happily, her previous angry mood totally gone at prospect of having something fun to do. Because really, there was only so long a girl could spend doing paperwork before she needed some time off.

Thor froze. This was bad. This was really, really, bad. He remembered how she was when it came to playing dress up. Nothing good would come out of this. On the other hand, he didn't want to make her angry either. What to do? He responded carefully, "Err, Hela, I think I'm a bit too old for dress up."

"You're never too old for dress up!" Hela shot back cheerfully. She didn't know why Thor was even trying to stop her. He would listen to her, even if she had to use force to make him. Anyway, dress up was so fun to play, why would anyone not want to play it?

"No, I'm pretty sure I'm too old," Thor said with certainty. He was old enough to become King, for heaven's sake! He was quite sure that Odin did not play dress up, and why should he if his father didn't? Nothing was going to make him play dress up, nothing.

"No, you're not," Hela retorted, quite annoyed with him. She didn't understand why he even bothered to lie. Anyone with a pair of eyes could see the truth. She continued, "Why, you're playing dress up now!"

"Excuse me!" Thor said indignantly. He was not playing dress up, he was wearing perfectly normal clothes. Unless... Did Loki magically change his clothes or something? Alarmed, he looked down to check to make sure he was still wearing his Asgardian warrior clothes, which he did. With a frown, he said, "I am not playing dress up."

"Of course you are," Hela insisted, getting even more annoyed. Was Thor blind or something? He was wearing warrior clothes, for the love of Helheim! He really needed to get his eyes checked. She continued, "You are currently wearing Asgardian warrior clothes and the last time I checked, you weren't one."

Thor could only gape in pure and utter shock. He exclaimed, "What on earth are you talking about, niece?! Have you been living under a rock or something? I am a proper Asgardian warrior! I've been one for centuries!"

"Seriously?" Hela asked skeptically, still not believing what he was saying. She critically eyed his clothes, and now that she took a closer look, she had to concede that the fabric did look rather genuine.

"Yes!" Thor exclaimed, rather annoyed. Why isn't she believing me? Time and time again, I have proven my worth, and have even had songs sung about me. Why is she still skeptical?

"But you weren't one last time I checked," Hela protested. She distinctly remembered. Thor wasn't a proper warrior, he was still a student or something. Although, it had been a while since she last checked, so maybe it had to do with that?

"And when was the last time you checked?" Thor questioned, a suspicion forming in his mind. From what he remembered, Hela had a tendency to have her head in the clouds and lose track of time rather easily.

"Um, nine or something centuries ago? I think. It might've been longer," Hela answered unsurely, furrowing her eyebrows as she did her best to remember, "I don't really keep up with the news, sorry."

Thor gazed at her with dismay. It had been as he thought. Hela had, once again, lost track of time. Had she honestly been thinking that be was still a student for nine centuries? No wonder everyone thought he was immature if that was the sort of information she was spreading. He told her, "Niece, I've been a warrior for over eight centuries."

"Oh, okay. Congrats, then," Hela congratulated her uncle belatedly. Huh, she thought. What a surprise. What do you know, you learn something new every day. I wonder if this means his groupies became warriors too? Whatever, it's not like it matters. What truly matters is that we're going to play dress up, whether he likes it or not.

"Thank you," Thor said stiffly, not quite believing that Hela had actually thought he was a student for so long. Honestly.

"You're welcome," Hela replied, not even sensing any offense he might have taken. Still though, they needed to resolve this issue now. She continued on impatiently, "Can we get to the main point now?"

"What point?" Thor asked blankly. What was she going on about now? Hadn't they just decided they wouldn't play dress up?

Hela sighed. Clearly, Thor was an idiot incapable of recalling even the simplest of issues. She reminded him patronizingly, "We're playing dress up, remember, Uncle? Or are you incapable of remembering what we discussed a minutes ago?"

Thor scowled, annoyed. I can't believe this, he thought, She's absolutely impossible. He declared firmly, "I am not playing dress up! It is a most unmanly game, and besides I'm too old."

"Come on, uncle, please?" Hela pleaded, switching tactics when she realized that simply ordering him wasn't working. She pouted and gave him an adorable look.

"No, absolutely no," Thor said firmly, unwavering in his decision. It didn't matter if she pulled the puppy dog eyes, he would not sacrifice his manliness. NEVER.

Hela's eyes narrowed. Hmm, she thought, he's gotten stronger since last time. He totally would've caved by now before. She pouted, "But I'm gonna be so sad if you don't…"

"My answer is still no," Thor was resolute in his decision. The only way he was going to sacrifice his manliness was over his dead body.

Hela frowned, it seemed this wasn't working. She was going to have to take drastic measures soon. She demanded, "Are you gonna make me cry?"

"You're not gonna cry just because I refused to play!" Thor exclaimed. That was absolutely ridiculous, wasn't it? Who would cry because of a simple reason like that? ...would she?

"If you make me cry, Daddy's gonna be mad," Hela warned, pulling out the big guns. If this didn't work she didn't know what would.

Thor hesitated. Okay, the threat of Loki was a bit scary, but it was his manliness at stake here! He couldn't cave in now. He said defiantly, "So?"

Almost immediately, Hela broke down and started bawling her eyes out, "I -*sob*- can't believe -*sob*- that you're -*sob*- so mean!" She wailed loudly.

Instantly, Thor felt guilty and panicked. Loki would be seriously mad if he found out that Thor had made his daughter cry. who knew what sort of torture Loki would come up with to get revenge. Dealing with Loki was already hard enough, he didn't want the torture levels to increase any more. Screw his manliness, his life mattered more! "Wait, Hela, don't cry. Please stop. I'll do anything," Thor tried to comfort her desperately.

"Really?" Hela sniffled, rubbing her eyes.

"Yes," Thor said desperately. Why wasn't she stopping?

"You'll play dress up with me?" Hela asked cautiously.

"Yes, yes, I'll play dress up with you," Thor confirmed eagerly. Anything to stop the crying.

"Okay, then!" Hela said cheerfully, all traces of tears gone. "Let's play dress up, Uncle Thor!" she smiled evilly at Thor. Thor gulped. Why, oh why did he get a really bad feeling about this? What had he gotten himself into this time? He should have just chosen to die, it would have been a better choice than this.

Downstairs in his lab, Tony was laughing his butt off at this. He gasped out, "Jarvis, Take some pictures of Thor. It's gonna be my wallpaper."

"Of course sir," Jarvis replied. "Might I suggest posting them on Facebook and twitter as well?"

"Great idea. Go ahead," Tony said with a smirk as he turned to look at the picture of Thor in princess outfit with some badly done make-up since Thor had struggled too much. He couldn't wait to see what else Thor was going to be turned into. Oh yes, Thor was definitely gonna regret breaking the poor, poor, coffee machine. MWAHAHAHA!