A/N: So this one came as a shock, and I just went with it. I thought to myself, what if Roy were the one guarding Riza's back? I decided it might be fun to reverse their roles, keeping original personalities in tact, and it ended up being a more humorous story then I originally expected. But since it's just one of millions of possibilities I think it's a fun chapter. Let me know what you think I may return to this parallel to write a more serious scene from the series.

Lieutenant Roy Mustang sighed. He didn't really understand what was going through his commanding officer's head right now, but he wished she would at least get angry. If Alphonse Elric and his little brother weren't so troublesome it wouldn't be this annoying to him.

"You will listen to the Colonel." He snapped in annoyance at the two boys. How many times had she told them not to go doing things alone?

Alphonse looked ready to submit to Colonel Riza Hawkeye's orders about not going anywhere until she had deemed it safe. But Edward, the giant suit of armor with a soul instead of a flesh body inside of it yelled out indignant.

"We aren't going to wait for the Colonel to make up her mind! We have a lead on the Philosopher's Stone and we're going to go after it whether she wants us to or not!" The armor body clanged as he slammed his fist for effect.

Roy narrowed his eyes and pulled a gun from the back of his belt. He hefted it menacingly but didn't point it at anyone.

"That's enough Lt." Riza said eyeing the situation. She looked cool and unaffected by the disobedience of her subordinates.

"Hello Colonel," Alphonse greeted calmly. Ed made a noise like a huff though it sounded more sad with it's hollow echo. "What's the problem Mustang?" She asked.

Roy holstered his gun and gave a sly smile, "The Elrics were conspiring to disobey your orders and go right out after Scar was confirmed to be alive and still hunting after them." He gave Edward a smirk. The suit of armor shifted in anger but he said nothing.

"Alphonse, Edward," Riza began in a gentle but authoritative voice. "I know you want desperately to get your original bodies back, and I am all for you completing that goal." She gave them a stern glare with her brown eyes. "But if you disobey my orders, I will have to take disciplinary action." Her tone turned icy and even Roy felt a chill down his spine.

Alphonse reacted instantly. "Yes Sir." He said. Of the two he was the most level headed and calm. Roy much preferred conversations with the State Alchemist to his violent tempered younger brother. "What do you want us to do for now?"

Ed made a whining noise that grated on Roy's nerves enough for him to glare at the suit of armor.

Riza smiled slightly. If you knew what to say to those two brothers than you could get anything out of them. "I want you to stay on Military grounds for the next three days. If all quiets down we'll send you on your way. Until I've decided it's safe for you to leave my jurisdiction I want the two of you to work on the clean-up detail. That battle with Scar isn't going to clean itself up, and your alchemy should help shorten the time it takes to clear it all up." Her voice left no room for complaints.

When the two just nodded she disappeared back into her office smiling. "There Lt. You shouldn't have any more problems with them."

Roy gave the two boys an appraising glance. "I'll put you on Second Lt. Havoc's squad. He's there right now." He said reaching for the phone.

"Wait a minute. Why should I have to go? Al's the one whose in the military." Ed snapped. Al sighed his golden eyes darkening.

"Do you always have to complain Ed?" He looked pleadingly at the suit of armor.

"Yes." Ed replied maliciously.

Al shrugged his shoulders and checked that his gloves were on properly. "I'll go Lt. Mustang." He grabbed the brown jacket he wore and slipped it on over his button down shirt and vest. "Ed can just stay here and pout."

Roy nodded and called a car for the alchemist. The boy vanished off to help fix part of the mess he'd been a part of.

After a few minutes Roy looked up into the two black openings that served as Ed's eyes. "What is it?" Roy asked exasperated. He still had a mountain of paperwork to complete. Not to mention he had to accompany the Colonel to her meeting with General Grumman.

"I hate you." Ed said simply.

"Go ahead." Roy murmured turning back to requisition forms that Colonel Hawkeye needed to sign.

"I thought your ego was bigger than that." Ed goaded.

"I'm not too fond of you myself, but the Colonel is in charge of your big brother so I try to ignore you." Roy replied grinning. He had an advantage when it came to making faces, Ed had a sort of wicked deadpan, but Roy could move his mouth in all kinds of taunting sneers.

Ed stood up with a clinking of metal, and proceeded to march around the room making the most god awful racket he possibly could. Roy focused on writing his name on the line for a few moments until Fuery said something from across the room.

"Hey Edward, mind keeping your fight with Mustang quieter? I'm trying to get a hold of the ground squadron searching for Scar."

Roy looked up at the boy and gave him a look that said sit down now.

Ed did but only out of respect for the other officer in the room. Roy finished a stack of paperwork before he noticed that Ed was being awful quiet. Then he saw the flash of blue energy and heard the familiar crackle from behind him. The chair he was sitting on instantly changed so that the wood grew out and wrapped around his chest.

Roy growled, "Knock it off Edward."

The chair clamped down on him and to his outrage he could not stand up. Roy fumed as he let a nice choice phrase out of his lips. Ed laughed maniacaly. "Serves you right Lieutenant."

Roy didn't have time for this. He managed to pull one of his guns free from it's holster and he could just aim it at the helmet that served as Edward's head. He counted aloud so Ed would know what was coming. Feury had long since given up on his radio and was now watching in horror.

"Three...Two...One." BANG! The gun fired and the bullet pinged off of the helmet but not before it flew off of the suit of armor and across the room. Roy smirked.

"THAT'S NOT FAIR!" Ed yelled. The headless body darted after the helmet and Roy chuckled darkly.

"I warned you Ed." He reminded gently.

The door to the Colonel's office flew open and the only sound was a distinct SNAP! There was a slight explosion of hot air but no flames. Roy, chair and all was sent flying backwards as was Edward.

Roy landed with a painful thump on his side the gun in his hand slipping to the floor. "Ouch, Colonel what was that for?" He asked sharply.

"Yeah!" Ed asked still trying to retrieve his head.

"I expect my subordinates, and the relatives there of will attempt to be civil with one another." Riza said softly she snapped her gloved fingers again and Roy was free from the chair as the wooden strap disintegrated into ash. He stood up quickly and nodded to his C.O.

Edward replaced the helmet and crossed his big metal arms over his chest. "Fine." He groused.

"Let's go Lieutenant." Riza said taking the ignition glove off and walking for the door.

Roy rose retreiving his gun and grabbing a file folder as he hurried to keep up with her. He mumbled something about having a bruise on his side as he straightened up wincing.

Once out the door of the office Roy kept his eyes open. He'd made a promise to the Colonel that he would always be by her side protecting her from any threat, including herself. He walked after her his eyes constantly scanning everything. He knew she wasn't making many friends with her rapid assencion up the rank ladder.

And enemies were everywhere from what was recently happening. It was as if suddenly things were getting worse. Roy worried about Hawkeye when he thought about it. One fatal mistake and her goal of setting this country straight would topple to the dust. That's why he was content to stay her subordinate, to protect that dream, so that Amestris would never again see a day when it's citizens were turned against each other.

He was just grateful that Grumman was an ally and not an enemy. He at least wouldn't have to be so wary. On the walk they encountered a true enemy. Roy could feel it in his gut. He tensed as Riza greeted General Hakuro.

The aging soldier still had his ear bandaged from the incident of the train hijacking. "General Hakuro how are you?" Riza inquired politley saluting him. Roy followed suit as he snapped to attention under the baleful glare of the General.

"Hmph." Hakuro responded giving the pair a disgusted look. "You watch yourself Colonel Haweye. One lucky break isn't enough to keep you in Command's good graces." The General turned and stalked away.

"That was pleasant." Roy murmured watching him go. He'd bristled at the way he had spoken to Riza. Just because he outranked her didn't mean he had to hate her.

"He's just jealous of our progress." Riza said shrugging. Why did nothing get under her skin? Couldn't she at least say something nasty about him behind his back? Just once?

"He afraid you'll surpass him?" Roy asked as they continued for Grumman's office.

"Something like that. And one day I will, and he'll be answering to me." She whispered.

"You might want to refrain from such reckless declarations Colonel Hawkeye." Roy said tiredly.