Chapter Five – Living Hell

For the entire drive home Elizabeth simply felt numb. Now that she wasn't actively working on the hostage situation she had the time to think about Stevie and what her daughter was going through. Being numb was probably better than being utterly terrified, but she figured the terror was coming. Hopefully it would hold off until she could get Henry alone. She still had no idea what to say to him, but she had even less idea what to say to the kids. She honestly didn't even want to say anything to Alison and Jason. They didn't need to know about this. Of course she was going to have to have a major game face on if she wanted to keep this from them. Her kids could almost always tell when something wasn't quite right. They were just smart enough not to ask most of the time. With how she was feeling at the moment there was no way they wouldn't notice something was wrong. It would be too obvious no matter how hard she tried to hide it. It was late though. Maybe she would get lucky and the kids would already be upstairs.

When her car pulled up to the house Elizabeth took a moment to school her expression and lock thoughts of Stevie away again. It could only do so much, and she still felt like she was going to throw up as she walked in the door. Then she saw Henry sitting at his desk in their office and almost started sobbing on the spot. Thankfully Henry noticed her before she had to say a word.

"Hey, babe. You're home late. Something big's going on at work, huh?"

"Big," she nearly squeaked. "You could say that."

Henry's forehead creased and he stepped toward her. Something was definitely wrong. Elizabeth sounded nearly hysterical.

"Babe?"

"The kids?"

"They're upstairs," Henry told her as he ran his hands up and down her arms to calm her. She looked like she really needed it.

Elizabeth almost immediately sagged into his arms. Henry held her tight, even more concerned now. Her day must have been really bad.

"We need to talk, Henry."

"Okay, but you're kind of scaring me, babe."

"I haven't even started scaring you yet," she returned rather flatly.

That didn't sound good. This wasn't Elizabeth teasing him. She was serious.

"Should we go upstairs? We won't have to worry about the kids walking in on us then."

"That's probably a good idea."

She stepped back, and Henry wrapped an arm around her so he could guide her up the steps. He was trying to stay as calm as he could to keep her level. The last thing he wanted was for her to have a panic attack over whatever was happening. She'd been doing better lately, but she was definitely stressed today. When she was stressed it brought all of her triggers much closer to the surface. He'd be more than happy to help her decompress in whatever way she needed.

Once they'd stepped into their room and closed the door behind them Elizabeth turned to Henry. She needed to start this discussion and say what she had to right now before she lost her nerve.

"Stevie isn't staying with friends," she blurted out.

That was not the type of discussion Henry had been expecting. It did, however, explain why Elizabeth was so out of sorts. None of them had heard anything about Stevie, and the lack of news had been eating at both Elizabeth and Henry. Apparently Elizabeth had gotten some information about Stevie, but it didn't look like she'd learned what she'd been hoping to learn.

"You've heard from her?"

"No. She's in Africa, Henry."

"Africa? What's she doing in Africa?"

"At the moment? Probably wondering if she's going to live beyond the next three days."

Henry almost started laughing. Elizabeth was joking. She had to be. There was no other logical explanation. Seriously? Their daughter, who'd been MIA for two weeks, was in Africa and worried about dying in a few days? No way. This was simply an elaborate prank that Elizabeth had set up to get him. He grinned at her, totally ready to call her out on this ridiculousness when he took in the strained expression on her face. If she'd been kidding she would have caved by this point. She was a fantastic actor in front of global leaders and politicians, but she sucked at it with him. Her expression would give away every joke she played on him far quicker than she wanted. That hadn't happened this time.

Henry's face drained of all color and he nearly collapsed onto the bed.

"Oh my god. You're serious."

A single tear slid down Elizabeth's cheek in response. It made the situation completely real and that much more painful. Henry held out a hand to her, and once she'd taken it pulled her onto the bed with him.

"Tell me everything," he instructed.

His wife nodded, tucked her legs under her, and brushed at her eyes to prevent any more tears from escaping. The instant she lowered her hand Henry took it and her other one into his, trying to provide as much comfort and strength as he could. It was no wonder he'd thought she was teetering on the edge when she'd first walked in the door. She probably was.

"We got a hostage video today from an African rebel group. They took over the main community building in a small village in Nigeria. American mission workers were there helping the villagers. The rebels are demanding a ransom be paid within the next three days or they will start killing their hostages."

"And Stevie's there? You're sure?"

It all just seemed so unreal. There was such a slim possibility that this could ever happen, microscopic really, yet the impossibility of it was that this was happening.

"I saw her in the video, Henry. It was just a brief look, but it was enough. Travel records confirmed she's in Nigeria."

That confirmation was like being run over by a train. At first he couldn't form fully coherent thoughts, and the first one that did form nearly stopped his heart.

"The United States government doesn't pay ransoms. They don't negotiate with terrorists."

Elizabeth looked up at him, her eyes swimming with tears.

"No, they don't."

Those three words sounded like a death sentence. Her face perfectly reflected the utter anguish burning in his heart.

"Henry… I could have to sit there and watch my daughter die."

The second the last word was out of her mouth she shattered. Wrapping her arms around herself, Elizabeth sobbed uncontrollably. Henry shifted further onto the bed and gathered her into his arms. There was nothing that he could tell her. His own heart was screaming, and she was right. She could have to watch their child die. Their first born die. Hell, she might even have to make the decision that allowed that to happen. No, no someone else would have to handle that. Nobody would put that decision on her shoulders. It would destroy her! Then again, Stevie's death could destroy them both. In a few days they could be planning a funeral for their daughter.

He nearly lost it then. Before he could fall into complete despair though anger kindled inside of him.

No. No, they were not going to lose their daughter. Not without a fight. The United States might not negotiate, but there were other options. There had to be, and if they were out there Elizabeth would find them. They were not giving up now!

"Elizabeth, look at me. Look at me, babe," Henry said determinedly.

It took a while, but eventually she did as he'd asked. Henry held her face, making sure she was paying full attention and couldn't look away from him.

"We're not giving up. Do you hear me? You're going to find some way to bring her home. I know you are, Elizabeth."

Despite his utter confidence in her, Elizabeth didn't have even a fraction of it in herself. She'd solved so many crises in her time as Secretary of State. None of them had been at this level of magnitude though. At least not personally. This problem mattered more than any of the others had, and in this critical moment she had nothing.

"I'm all out of ideas, Henry. Nothing we've thought of is even in the ballpark of feasible, and that metaphor isn't nearly big enough. I'm scared, Henry," she whimpered. "What if I can't find an answer?"

"You'll find one. I know you will."

"But what if I don't?"

"You will. Just give yourself a little time."

He dropped his hands from her face and started rubbing her shoulders and arms. Her entire body was tense, but his ministrations didn't seem to be helping much.

"I don't have a lot of time." Just three days. Three days to come up with a plan and put it in motion quickly enough to save twelve lives. That was hardly any time at all. She could feel the tears coming again and sniffed them back. "This is where you say something really inspiring that triggers some amazing idea in my head."

Henry remained silent, unsure what to say. He couldn't think of anything reassuring let alone inspiring. Maybe she didn't actually need inspiring. Maybe she just needed another reason to keep trying and a fresh breath of air.

"Maybe you just need to look at it from a different angle, babe. "The best solutions are often simple, yet unexpected.""

If there was one thing Elizabeth knew it was when Henry was quoting somebody. He did it often enough that she'd learned to recognize the expression on his face and his tone of voice. That last line was definitely a quote, and a kind of curious one. Simple yet unexpected solutions. Unexpected… Everyone at work thought she constantly did things that were unexpected. Conrad had specifically hired her because she could think outside of the box or at least she could blow the whole damn box up. Maybe Henry was right…

"Who said that?" she asked, fully expecting him to give her the name of some relatively unknown religious scholar.

"A musician actually. It's not just religious scholars that can give good advice."

Elizabeth laughed lightly, which was exactly what he thought she needed. Tension radiated off of her. It was understandable, but it wasn't going to help her in any way. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead.

"For now stop trying to think about it and take a break."

She shifted forward and relaxed against his chest. It wasn't going to be easy to put this down, but she knew he was right. Because of that she would at least try.

O . o . O . o . O

Later that night Elizabeth did actually seem to be relaxed. She was curled comfortably against Henry with his arms wrapped protectively around her. They had both been silent for hours and should have long ago fallen asleep, but Henry knew his wife was awake. Neither of them would be getting much sleep that night.

"Henry?" Elizabeth whispered. Her hesitant voice barely broke the silence, and she almost sounded afraid of saying whatever it was she wanted to say.

"Yeah, babe?" he returned just as quietly.

"We can't tell the kids."

She didn't say anything about what they couldn't tell them or why, but she didn't need to. He understood.

"No. We can't. Even Ali can't know. It's too much."

This was different from Iran. Alison might have been old enough to process that her mother had traveled to a world hot spot, but she definitely couldn't handle the news that her older sister could be killed by terrorists. It was way too much to put on a sixteen year old's shoulders. This news would have to remain secret. Jason and Alison would only be told when it was absolutely necessary. Henry seriously hoped that would only be after Elizabeth had a plan in motion to save the hostages and bring Stevie home. Or, even better, after Stevie was already home.

"Henry… I don't know if I can manage to look like everything is okay in front of them."

Henry swallowed hard at that admission and held her tighter. The truth was he wasn't sure he could do it either.

"You could always go in before they get up."

"I thought about it, but I really need to see them. I just…"

"You already have one child in danger. You need to hold onto the others as tight as you can."

That was Henry. He knew her so well that he could put words to exactly what she was feeling without her needing to say anything. Sometimes he could put words to her feelings even better than she could.

"Yes. I know it doesn't make much sense."

"It makes perfect sense, babe. We will all eat breakfast together tomorrow. If the kids notice anything and bring it up we'll deal with it then, okay?"

"Yeah."

"Good. Now try and get some sleep, Elizabeth."

They both knew how ridiculous that request was, but Elizabeth didn't say anything about it. In a way it was kind of comforting. Henry was still telling her the same things despite the possible atrocity they were facing.