A/N: Sorry it's a bit late guys! Thanks for all the lovely reviews, they mean so much to me!
As a side note, the outfit Nudge wears in this chapter is inspired by the outfit my friend wore to my prom night. She looked amazing in it and I thought Nudge might too. :)
…..
Gazzy didn't attack dinner with the same hunger he usually did that night.
Nobody seemed to really notice at first. The conversation bounced around Gazzy while he sat, poised, waiting for an opening in which to ask a question. The question had been rolling around in his head all day and he wanted to get rid of it as quickly as possible, but no gap seemed to appear in the conversation.
Finally, Max looked at him and frowned. "Gazzy, are you okay?"
He wondered whether he looked sick. Maybe Max just thought it was unusual how slowly he was eating. If there's anybody who eats more than a bird-kid, it's a growing adolescent bird-kid. At fourteen years old, Gazzy usually ate more than Max and Angel combined.
Usually.
Gazzy sighed and put down his fork. "I just… have a question."
"Oh?" Max said, looking confused, "Um, what is it?"
Shifting uncomfortably, Gazzy blurted out, "Can I go out tomorrow night?"
There was a pause. "What, out flying?" Max asked.
"No…" Gazzy said carefully, "Walking. To… town."
There was a longer pause. "Are you going alone, or with someone?"
"With someone."
"Who?"
Gazzy squirmed, and hesitated, before finally saying, "A girl."
Silence descended the table.
Gazzy winced. The entire flock was staring at him as if he had grown an extra head. The quiet seemed to stretch on for all eternity.
"Gazzy has a girlfriend?!" Iggy finally cried, breaking the silence.
"Of course not," Angel scoffed, "Gazzy doesn't even have underarm hair."
"I do so!" Gazzy said defensively. "And she's not my girlfriend. She's just a girl from school."
"So, your girlfriend." Iggy concluded.
"No!" Gazzy sighed exasperatedly.
"But all the signs point to the fact she is your girlfriend!" Iggy protested, "She's a girl from school. You're taking her into town. She is definitely your girlfriend."
"What's her name?" Nudge asked excitedly, "Is she pretty? Is she nice? Does she paint her nails? What's her favourite band? You guys must be cute together!"
Gazzy rubbed his eyes. "Her name is Hayley," He said flatly, "And I guess, yes, don't know, don't know, and she is not my girlfriend!"
"She and Gazzy sit next to each other in science," Angel suddenly said, and all eyes were on her. She smiled sweetly as she looked at Gazzy, who scowled as she read his mind.
"And she has a crush on him. She wants to be his girlfriend, but Gazzy doesn't like her. He's taking her out on a date to make her happy even though he doesn't like her."
Silence, before Max spoke. "Oh, that's pretty nice of you, Gazzy. Anything else, Angel?"
Angel grinned demonically, "No, but I can tell you who he does like…"
"Don't you dare!" Gazzy cried, clamping his hand over his little sister's mouth. "And don't try telling anyone with your mind either! It's not even true, anyway, I don't like—that person. I don't, not really, I…" Gazzy trailed off. His cheeks were flushed red. "I… I just don't know anymore."
He stood up and pushed his chair in violently. "I'm not hungry."
And he was gone, thundering out the door and up the stairs.
Fang, who hadn't spoken until now, sighed and flicked his hair out of his eyes. "I knew that would end badly."
…..
Later that night, Gazzy ran himself a shower. He blasted it boiling hot, then switched it suddenly freezing cold. He alternated, grimacing, as it matched his mood. The Gasman was seething, red hot and ice cold all at once. Angry with everyone, but also himself.
Because when Fang got angry, he would fume silently and lock himself in his room. And when Iggy got angry, he usually threw out some witty sarcastic comments…
…but when Gazzy got angry, which he found himself doing more and more these days, he would kick and scream and become absolutely furious. Once, only a couple of months ago, he had kicked a hole in his door. Max had nearly killed him.
He was a stick of TNT lit from both ends, filled with hormones that acted as gunpowder. Gazzy stepped out of the shower, his skin blotchy and alternating from very pale to lobster pink. He stood naked in front of the mirror until the skin turned its normal shade again.
And then he stood there a bit longer.
Observing his body, Gazzy bit his lip.
He wasn't meant to be picky about his looks—that was what girls did—but he just wished that he didn't look so… out of proportion.
Gazzy had had the beginnings of abs when he was only eleven, but even though they were developed now, they looked out of place—the rest of his body had not caught up. His arms were lanky. His legs a little too long.
He felt awkward. He wore baggy clothes—hoodies and sweatpants. Puberty still held him in its clammy hands, and it was yet still moulding, fiddling, tweaking. Centuries of practice and Puberty still couldn't get it right the first time.
As Gazzy pulled on his pyjamas he scrutinized himself closely. His face was still round as the full moon, the largest trace of the childhood he was leaving behind.
He bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from screaming. Even Angel, two years younger than he, had lost her baby roundness, slipping out of it seamlessly and emerging silky and new, ready-made for her teenage years. She was sliding like a dream down the river of puberty, and upon exit was bound to find something glorious in her place.
Gazzy seemed to hit every rock in the river.
He was sliding out of control down this watercourse of nightmares, and the likelihood of finding something glorious at the end did not seem promising.
"Gazzy? Gazzy, can I come in? I need to brush my teeth."
Nudge. Gazzy's stomach did a flip.
No. He did not feel that way; he did not feel that way. Maybe if he told himself enough, it would get across. If he repeated it, the feelings might go away—
"Gazzy?"
"Oh, yeah, coming," Gazzy did the last button up on his pyjamas and opened the door. Nudge stood there, wearing her shortie pyjama pants and a red tank top.
Oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man…Gazzy knew there was something seriously wrong if Nudge could get his heart racing like that by wearing only her pyjamas.
"It was really sweet of you to date Hayley even though you don't like her, ya know?" Nudge began, walking into the bathroom, "I mean, sweet, but like, what are you gonna do when she wants to be your girlfriend and you don't actually like her? That's gonna get really really awkward, and then you'll have to turn her down and then you'll break her heart and then she'll turn all her friends against you! But hey, maybe—"
Nudge had stuffed her toothbrush in her mouth and could no longer speak for a few seconds.
"… you'll get to like her anyway on your date and then you guys can be a couple! I bet you'd be cute! But hey, I was wondering…"
Nudge put her toothbrush in her mouth again. Gazzy was trying to process everything she had just said in his head. "Um, what?"
"Well," Nudge said after she had spat out the toothpaste, "If you need like, support on you and Hayley's date so it doesn't get super awkward, we could make it a double date and me and Sean could come! Wouldn't it be fun? What would Hayley think?"
Gazzy's heart sank. Yeah, let Nudge and her latest boyfriend come. Just what he needed.
Then he remembered that Nudge had a lot more experience on dates than he… and realized having she and Sean there would make it a lot easier.
No, no, don't agree, don't agree…"Ah, yeah, I guess that could be cool," Gazzy stumbled over the words. His subconscious sighed exasperatedly.
"Great!" Nudge squealed, throwing her arms around him in a brief hug that smelt like bubblegum and powdery makeup, "It'll be so much fun!"
Gazzy's head was reeling from Nudge's touch and it was all he could do to keep himself upright. "Uhm, yeah."
Once he got to his room he flopped onto his bed and sent a quick text to Hayley, who had given him her number that day. Then he stretched his wings, turned off the light and clambered under the sheets.
Tomorrow night was going to be a spectacular train wreck. Gazzy just knew it.
…..
At seven o'clock Gazzy was lying on the couch in a hoodie and sweatpants, when Max came over and whacked him over the head with a rolled-up fashion magazine (which must've been Nudge's).
"Ow! What was that for?" Gazzy whined, holding up a cushion as an attempt to protect himself from any more incoming attacks.
"I know you don't actually like this girl, but at least make an effort to dress in something decent." Max scowled down at the Gasman.
Gazzy rolled his eyes and slowly got up. He really wasn't in the mood for what he was sure was going to be the worst night of his teenage life. Okay, so maybe he had had a few worse nights involving desert rat or dog crates, but he had said his teenage life…
"I hate you," He grumbled—but he was already making his way up the stairs.
"Bite me."
Gazzy dressed in a simple—but unsoiled—button down shirt and the cleanest jeans he could find. He was just running a comb through his hair when Nudge appeared at the door.
"How do I look?" She asked.
"Uhh…" Gazzy seemed to have lost the ability to formulate coherent sentences. Perhaps it had something to do with the fact Nudge looked stunning—she wore a very chic flower patterned dress with leather cowboy boots, and shimmery black eyeliner which showed off her long lashes. Her hair was in curls and piled up in a messy bun. Silken strands that had come loose wafted about her face.
Nudge waited patiently for Gazzy's response as he stared.
Oh, for god's sake, say something, anything, you've been staring for long enough!"Nice." Dimwit. "You look… nice."
Nudge grinned. "You don't look too bad yourself. I wasn't sure about this outfit, you know, only certain girls can pull off this look, and I'm not sure if I can, but I was like; 'You know what? YOLO.' Do you think Sean will like it? It's kind of different from what I normally wear."
"Yeah," Gazzy said, not entirely sure what he was answering to—he was still staring at Nudge.
"You better hurry up—Sean will be here soon," Nudge grinned, turning on her heel, leaving behind her the—Gazzy decided—rather delightful smell of rose perfume.
Oh god. 'The delightful smell'?
Gazzy was almost certain he was going to go insane.
…
Sean's car smelt clean, but not in a delightful way. The kind of smell of someone applying deodorant after already having sweated.
Still, Gazzy was glad Sean's banged-up mini was (or tried to be) clean—a few of Nudge's previous boyfriend's cars had smelt so bad even Gazzy would be suppressing a gag.
Gazzy felt like the third wheel sitting in the back seat while Nudge and Sean commandeered the front. Sean seemed a little uptight for some reason—a few of Nudge's previous boyfriends would've slung their arms about her shoulders (keeping one hand still on the steering wheel, luckily) or be chattering away to her.
Sean kept both hands on the steering wheel, while his only contribution to the 'conversation' he and Nudge were having was nodding and the occasional smile. There was something up, but Gazzy supposed it wasn't his business.
Finally they pulled outside Hayley's driveway and Gazzy got out reluctantly.
Hayley was waiting at the door when he knocked, and when he opened it she grinned.
"I was so nervous," She laughed weakly, "I thought you were going to stand me up…"
"Why would I do that?" Gazzy smiled. Hayley wore a floaty black dress that came to her knees and ballet flats. Her dark blonde hair was let loose on her shoulders, and she was wearing a funny star shaped necklace that shimmered silver in the moonlight when she moved.
"For luck," She touched the necklace. Gazzy nodded as if he understood. He was sure it was a reference, but he did not have a clue what it was.
They walked back to the car slightly awkwardly. Gazzy wondered if he should hold her hand, then waved away the thought. As they slid into the back seat Nudge squealed. "Hi Hayley!"
"Hayley," Gazzy smiled feebly, "This is my sister, Monique."
"Hi," Hayley said shyly.
"OMG you're dress is so pretty! And I love your necklace, where did you get it?" Nudge asked excitedly.
"I had to order it online," Hayley said, absentmindedly twisting the chain between her fingers.
"That's probably why I've never seen it before." Nudge clapped her hands together, "Zephyr's told me so much about you!"
Gazzy bit his tongue to stop himself saying 'I have?'.
"So tonight we're going to The Rendezvous," Sean said suddenly, the most complete sentence Gazzy had heard him speak all night. The Rendezvous was an interesting restaurant—family friendly by day and a romantic hotspot by night.
"Ooh, nice," Hayley said politely, grinning at Gazzy. Gazzy smiled back half-heartedly and looked away.
…..
Inside The Rendezvous was packed. As soon as they stepped into the building Gazzy wanted to go home, and he hated Nudge sliding her arm around Sean's waist.
Should he take Hayley's hand to make Nudge jealous? No, why would she be jealous anyway? She would never like Gazzy—she still saw him as a child. Gazzy felt trapped and frustrated and tired and like he wanted to punch something.
Their table was close to the fire and the seats were uncomfortably warm. When the waiter gave Gazzy both the ordinary menu and the kid's menu he almost broke down and cried. For god's sake, was everybody working to try and make this the most embarrassing night of his life?
Hayley was staring at him, smiling in this adoring way that made him feel awkward. This was Hayley's first date too, and she wanted more from it than Gazzy was willing to give.
The conversation was pretty tame to say the least as Gazzy sipped his water, his teeth clinking against the glass. Trivial matters and mundane happenings bounced across the table like shuttlecocks. For goodness sake, couldn't they all just go home?
But then the food arrived.
Nudge usually ate before she went out on dates so she only needed a single meal and didn't look odd when she ordered double or triple her partner. But Gazzy hadn't thought about this, and he could feel uncertain eyes on him as he made his way through two bowls of creamy fettuccine.
"So, have you been here before? I like this place, great service." Nudge babbled on to Sean.
Sean shrugged absentmindedly and Nudge frowned.
Not for the first time that night, Gazzy wondered what was wrong. Hayley's foot touched his accidentally and he could feel her blush. Not for the first time either.
He rubbed his eyes and shoved another forkful of pasta into his mouth. He felt a crunch as he bit into a whole peppercorn. Dropping his fork into his bowl, eyes watering, he gulped down the last of his water.
Gazzy clenched his fists and went through all the swear words he knew in his head. Tonight was turning out just peachy.
"Zephyr, are you okay?" Hayley asked, her eyes filled with concern.
Gazzy resented her. It wasn't fair, and he knew it, but he resented her. There was a billion other guys better than him in the world, why did she have to develop a crush on Gazzy of all people?
"I'm fine," He said through gritted teeth, "Everything is just fine."
Hayley looked at him uncertainly.
"What's wrong with you tonight?" Nudge asked Sean exasperatedly, "You're acting so weird."
Sean stood up abruptly, his chair scraping across the ground so loudly almost everyone in the restaurant looked up. There was silence.
"Excuse me for a moment," He said quietly, before making his way towards the men's room.
"What's up with him?" Gazzy asked.
"Dunno," Nudge said (the shortest statement she had made all night), looking worried.
"There's something up with you, too," Hayley frowned, "You look really… uncomfortable."
Gazzy couldn't keep it in anymore.
"That's because I am uncomfortable!" Gazzy exploded, "I hate this and I wish I never came!"
The two girl's heads snapped towards him. Nudge looked shocked and Hayley looked confused.
"What…?" She asked.
"I don't actually like you, okay! This has been the worst night of my life!" Gazzy ranted, banging his fork into his bowl. He would've gone on, but at that moment Sean burst out of the restroom and stormed over to their table.
"Okay, Monique, I'm not gonna keep it in anymore," He cried, "I'm sorry, I really am."
"What the hell?" Nudge asked incredulously.
"I don't love you Monique," Sean said, tears springing in his eyes, "I never have and I don't think I ever will."
"What?" Nudge gasped.
"I think I'm gay, Monique," Sean bit his lip and looked at the ground. "I'm so sorry."
And he turned and fled from the table.
Nudge simply sat there, in shock. Gazzy stared at her, stunned. What had just happened? Why had nobody known?
"I can't believe it,"
Hayley's voice tore Gazzy from his thoughts. He looked up at her. She was packing up her things, and tears were running down her cheeks.
"I can't believe you, Zephyr. I thought you were so nice." Hayley sobbed, "I can't believe you just went and pretended you liked me."
"Hayley—" Gazzy tried.
"And just so you know," Hayley cut him off, "This was the worst night of my life, too."
And with that, she stormed off out the restaurant door, a whirlwind of rage and hurt and tears.
Gazzy felt awful. He turned to Nudge slowly, who was still sitting there bewildered. Her bottom lip began to quiver. "Gazzy?"
Gazzy wrapped his arms around her as she sobbed into his shoulder. His head was reeling, trying to make sense of everything that had just happened. He felt tired and sick and guilty and upset and he just wanted to go home.
Instead, he said, "Do you wanna go get doughnuts?"
Nudge nodded, wiping her eyes.
…..
Soon, Gazzy and Nudge sat perched at the top of a pine tree, a box of doughnuts between them.
"The ultimate comfort food," Gazzy said weakly. Nudge laughed a little.
"I'm still trying to comprehend what just happened," She sighed, letting her hair out to fly in the wind. She really was beautiful, Gazzy decided as he watched her, so achingly beautiful.
"Yeah." Gazzy agreed.
"I mean… I didn't know about Sean. I wouldn't have guessed. I thought we were fine until tonight. I'm okay with the fact he's gay but… I thought we could've been something. More than what we were, I mean." Nudge rubbed her eyes.
"Well, maybe Mr Right is just waiting for you," Gazzy looked at her carefully, at her soft skin, her freshly washed hair, her smudged makeup. "Maybe he's right under your nose."
"Yeah," Nudge said. "I'll find him. One day."
Gazzy's heart sank.
Nudge looked at him and smiled, but she didn't see him. Not really.
…..
A/N: Did I surprise you in this chapter? It was pretty chaotic, I thought. And it escalated quite quickly.
Kudos to anyone who can guess what sort of necklace Hayley was wearing. :) Additionally, Hayley's character was based on me (only personality wise though, she's a lot prettier than I am).
Hope you enjoyed and please review! :D