Chapter Ten – Midnight Musings

Home. It was all Stevie wanted to think about. Home was comforting. If she thought hard enough about it she could almost feel her parents' arms around her and the warmth that being all together brought. Simply the memories of the good times they'd shared as a family eased some of her fears. They made a decent substitute for a cozy blanket. One that she would wrap around herself in the dead of night in the middle of winter. One that made her feel safe. Of course it wasn't really possible to feel safe at the moment. Even her best memories couldn't cancel out the mess that she'd gotten herself into. Thinking about home was about the only thing that brought her any form of hope. She would give just about anything to be back home again with her family. Instead she was trapped here.

Stevie curled into a tighter ball and tried to press further back against the wall. Many of the other hostages had fallen asleep, but sleep wasn't something Stevie could manage. The hard ground was uncomfortable, and the pain wouldn't leave her alone. Neither would the hunger.

How long could someone go without food or survive with minimal water?

Stevie had no idea. In the end she supposed it didn't really matter. In a few hours she could be facing her last day alive anyway. She could actually die here. Time was running out, and Stevie knew the US government wouldn't pay the ransom. The individual families of some of the other aid workers might pay it, but she was pretty sure they hadn't been contacted. How long would it take after time ran out for one of the rebels to get mad enough to kill someone? Not long. At least she didn't figure it would be. Some of the rebels seemed to particularly enjoy tormenting them. Stevie tried to keep a close eye on those ones. She didn't want to find out what they were capable of.

Of course she was probably going to figure that out soon enough even though she didn't want to. However they planned on killing her and the other hostages, she doubted it would be fast. She would die here. Die. At twenty it seemed like such a foreign word. She'd never even had reason to consider death before except for the day they'd thought her mom might have been killed in Iran, and even then she hadn't truly thought about it. Now the possibility of death was all too real. She had to think about it. If that wasn't bad enough, she wasn't thinking about how she would go on after her mom died but what her death would be like. Stevie choked back a sob and rested her head on her knees. Her family might never even know what had happened to her. If the video hadn't reached her mother then there was no way her family would realize she was here. She'd hidden what she was doing all too well. Of course even if her mom had seen the video the rebels had made, there was no guarantee she even knew Stevie was one of the hostages. Stevie had no idea if she'd been visible in the video. So either her family wouldn't know that she'd died half a world away or her mother would watch it happen. Stevie honestly didn't know which would be worse. Either way she would be causing her mom more trouble. That was what she'd been trying to avoid by coming here, but apparently she couldn't manage not to cause problems. Her plan had backfired terribly. Now she could still be causing problems after she died.

I'm sorry, Mom.

She desperately wanted to be able to tell her mom that even though it would be painful. It would be even worse if her mom had recognized her in the video. How would she have even reacted to that? Stevie could imagine how bad she must look. At least she hadn't been one of the people pulled aside to be beaten to prove the rebels were serious about their claims. All she'd suffered was some rough handling. Her injuries were nothing compared to some of the others'. Stevie still felt bad that she'd been thankful not to be chosen. It almost felt like a betrayal to the people she'd come to think of as friends before this mess had started. She should have been horrified or at least trying to come up with a way to help them, but all she'd truly felt was relief. It hadn't been her. She had gotten lucky, just like she had been lucky the rebels hadn't known who she was. Still, even with her luck, she knew she had visible injuries. She could feel dried blood on her face and certain spots were definitely tender. Some parts of her body hurt bad enough that she'd found it was simply best not to move them. On top of the injuries Stevie was a dirty mess. The dust clung to everything and was smeared across her clothes and skin. There might have even been a few remaining tear tracks through the dust on her face. As hard as she'd tried not to cry, a few tears had slipped free when the reality of her situation had become too much. If her mom had seen that it could have broken her. Still, if Elizabeth was put in charge of this situation there was hope for their survival and rescue. Stevie had no idea how her mom might get them out of this mess, but she'd seen her pull off miracles before. There was still a chance. Stevie had to keep reminding herself of that. She could still get home. She could still get the chance to make up for all of her mistakes. It was possible. Maybe…

O . o . O . o . O

Henry suddenly jerked awake, anxious and unsettled. It really wasn't all that surprising considering how he and Elizabeth had been sleeping since finding out about Stevie, but he'd been hoping for a more peaceful rest that night since plans were now in place to get Stevie home safe and sound. Apparently a good night's sleep was not to be his fate. At least Elizabeth was sleeping peacefully if her stillness was any indication. He rolled over, intending on wrapping an arm around her and soaking in some comfort. Instead all he found was empty sheets. Immediately Henry sat up, searching for some sign of her. She definitely wasn't in the bedroom, and the light in the bathroom wasn't on either. Where on earth was she? There wasn't supposed to be any action on the rescue attempt until tomorrow, so he didn't think she would be called in for anything. Besides, she usually told him if she was going in. She had to be here somewhere. Henry dragged himself the rest of the way out of bed and went to look for her.

He didn't have to go very far to find her. Almost right after he stepped into the hallway he noticed the light on in Stevie's room. That didn't bode well. If Elizabeth was in there, and she was the only one who would be, then she was thinking about Stevie. Worrying about her and brooding more likely. She shouldn't be doing that. Sitting in Stevie's room wasn't healthy.

When he got closer he realized that Elizabeth wasn't simply sitting in Stevie's room and thinking about their daughter. She was actually making a pretty big mess. Most of the boxes they had stored away in Stevie's closet were pulled out and opened with some of the contents scattered across the floor. Elizabeth was obviously looking for something, though what she could possibly need to find at almost one o'clock in the morning Henry had no idea.

"What are you doing, babe?" Henry asked as he stepped into the room.

Elizabeth jumped, clearly not expecting anybody else to be awake in the middle of the night.

"Henry! Don't do that!" she hissed.

She glared at him. His antics had almost made her scream, and that would have woken the kids for sure. It would have been hard enough to explain what she was doing up at one AM. There was no way she could logically explain being in Stevie's room. Her kids would suspect something was wrong. Or at least they would ask a whole bunch of questions that she wouldn't be able to answer. Not without revealing what was going on with Stevie at least, and she didn't particularly want to do that. Eventually she and Henry would have to tell them. Even though it wouldn't be quite as traumatizing to the kids to learn about their sister now that a plan was set to rescue her, Elizabeth hadn't figured out how to have that discussion. She would much rather deal with that once Stevie was on a flight home.

"Sorry, babe. I didn't mean to scare you." He moved closer and rested his hand on her shoulder as he got a better look at the boxes. "But, really, what are you doing?"

"Looking for Stevie's rabbit," she replied before beginning to dig through the boxes again.

"Her rabbit?"

She had to be joking. Or maybe he was simply hearing things because there was no way that was what she was doing. It didn't even make sense for her to be digging around for that thing at a normal hour.

"Yeah. That one she carried with her everywhere as a kid. We stored it away somewhere. I just can't find it."

Henry groaned and rubbed his forehead. He had heard right, and she was serious. It was moments like this when he almost questioned whether his wife was sane.

"Elizabeth, it's one AM. Why did you suddenly decide you needed to find Stevie's rabbit now?"

She stilled, apparently coming to understand how strange her behavior must look. There was a reason for it though. A good reason. At least it was a good reason in her head. When she looked up at him again tears were glittering in her eyes.

"I just thought that… that it would be nice to get her something from home when she's rescued. Something that would comfort her. She must be so terrified, Henry."

Oh. He understood now. She must have thought of this shortly after they'd gone to bed. With the rescue force leaving in only a few hours now she almost had to go searching in the middle of the night if she wanted to get something for Stevie in time.

"I'm sure she would really appreciate that, babe," Henry told her as he moved to her side and started massaging her shoulders. "But you're not going to find it in storage."

"What?!" Elizabeth demanded in a panic as she whipped around to face him. "We didn't throw it away did we?"

She looked so utterly distraught that Henry nearly laughed.

"No, babe. Stevie took it when she went to college. It's probably in one of her drawers right now."

Elizabeth deflated like a balloon, clearly relieved.

"Thank goodness." Then her eyes flashed fire and she stood up to swat at him. "And that's the second time you've scared me tonight! Now you have to help me find the rabbit and put all of this away to make up for your bad behavior."

Henry laughed and leaned his forehead against her as she wrapped his arms around her.

"I do, do I?"

"Yes, you do."

"Alright, babe. I'll help you find it. You'll probably stay up all night if I don't."

"At this point if I want to meet the soldiers before they're deployed I might as well stay up."

She was going to need to leave the house by four if she wanted to meet them, and there was no way she would miss that opportunity. Missing a little bit of sleep wouldn't kill her. Besides, for Stevie's sake she would do just about anything. If going another night without rest gave her the opportunity to provide comfort for her daughter then it was worth it.