The Private Blog of Dr John Watson – Sherlock's Return
Sherlock's been awfully quiet lately – I think I've finally started to come to terms with the Reicenbach incident, and – dare I confess – I think I may have finally learnt to forgive him for what he put me through. For those three excruciating years that I thought he was dead I'd have given anything to have him back... and now that he is, and I'm over the initial shock of it all, I don't really see that I've got any right to complain.
But now that I'm not angry anymore, those walls have started to close in around me again...
I'd almost forgotten what it was like to have Sherlock to worry about!
There hasn't been a single new case since he got back three weeks ago – well there wouldn't be, as far as most of the rest of the world is concerned Sherlock Holmes is dead, and those that do know the truth have lost their faith in him... even Lestrade it seems, as neither myself nor Sherlock has heard from him in over a week.
He tries to hide it but I think that the sudden revelation that things aren't just going to go back to the way they once were has hit him hard. He's taken to chain smoking all day long, spending long hours at a time locked away in his room... and he still barely eats.
I had hoped that his time away might have changed him in some way, he's had all this time to get used to having to look after himself, but I suppose Sherlock will never change – and perhaps I don't really want him to.
It's quite clear though that whatever he's been up too all this time he hasn't been looking after himself – when he showed up three weeks ago he was paler than I've ever seen him before, and, dare I confess, much thinner than I remember him. His ribs and collarbone protrude, and there has been little change to his physical condition these past few short weeks.
I fear things may continue like this until a new case comes his way... he just seems to have lost his zest for life, and I just can't seem to get through to him!
He won't tell me exactly what he got up to during those two years that he was away – but I'm guessing that he wasn't on a world cruise – and whatever it was it's obvious that he's having a hard time readjusting to civilian life again now.
I just wish that he'd open up to me.
I fear I may have contributed to his present state. When he first returned I was so angry with him for putting me through what he did that all I could feel was contempt for my friend, but now all I want to do is break down those walls he appears to have built up around himself and help.
I was too hasty in my judgements of him – all I could think about was how hard the past couple years had been on me – but it is now obvious that they have been tough on Sherlock too.
Perhaps he just needs reminding that there are still people who care about him – people who stood at his grave and cried for his loss. All those who lost faith in him – they don't matter anymore.
I don't know... perhaps time may yet prove to be the greatest healer.