Oh my totally Shor this was totally the worst mind to be stuck in, there wos skooma everywear! I cud see lots of khajiits drinkinn the skooma, they were rly just all M'aiqs. All M'aiq thort abowt was skooma becos all khajiit are totes addicted to it. Oh my totally god, how would I get out!? The room had no doors, just skoomas.

"Ok Sheogormap this isent funny," I angried.

Sudden Sheogorath appeared!

"eXCUSse me how am I supppost to escape=!?" I angried.

"u haf to use the wabbajack."

"wtf is the wabba totes jack."

He pulled a staff with funny faces on it out of his eyes. "This am the wabbajack."

"thx," I said, becos I am grapeful. Sheogoreath despaeprted. I wondered what the wabbajock did. I pointed it at one of the M'aiqs and it turned into Odahviing!

"oh em gee Odah totes Viing! Im so happy to see you, can you burn down the walls so we can escape?"

But it wosent rly Odahviing, it was totally skoomaodahviing. "Muahhahahahahahahahahaha" he laughed evilly, reveeling his totes big dragon teeth. Then he totally started breathing fiar!1 omg I had to use dragonrend. "excuse me that's bad manners.:"

"you aren't rly odahvegetation, so it's ok to be meen to you! Anyway pls burn down the woles.

the odahvig ignered me but he turned into totally paarthurnax then totes burnt down the wall.

OH NO THE BUILDING WOS ON FIRE I WOS TOTES GONNA DIE.

"HALP!" I extremelied. Then I realised I cudent tork becos I was a sheep, I could only go baaa. I was scariness.

"PLS HALP!" I extremelied again, but only baa came out. Then I totes reelised what I must do, I must be brave! Omg was I totally the dragonborn or not!? I totes shouted WULD to go fastly, even with a sheeps throwt I could still dragonshowt, I went through the fire. Omg there was another wall of flame, but I FUS RO DAHed it out of the way like Lydia. Suddenly I saw… Igmund the jarl of markarth! He had a totally permanent marker, he loved markers so much that he named him city after them.

"omg it's the dragenburn! Can u help me, I'm trapped in a skooma land!"

"yes I will help u becos I am nice,"

"thanks dragonborn, ur so nice. Will you marry me?"

"what!? Ive known you for like 2 seconds omnd (oh my nein divins, the imperals sau there are 8 but Im a nord so I fink there area 9, they are: Akaposh, Zenifart, Stendar, mara, dibella (not like bella from twilight), juilains, kynaref, arcade and Talos. Talos wos a nerd, but he becaym a totally divine because he was a dragonborn like me, and dragonborns are unique and special and deserve to be wershipped, mabye I would become a divine. Hildreannaleena, the Goddess of Hairstyles. I totes liked the sound of that!)"

"oh ya ok lol" he sed. "ok how do we escape the skooma mind?"

Suddenly I saw a strange fing. It wos like a clear wole. I totally wanked over to it and looked through! Omg I was totes seeing the world from the pony of view of M'aiq!

M'aiq was totally still at the party, selling skooma and was high like a high elf from the skooma. Thru his eyes everyone had a box of brekfest cereal instead of a head, and their boides were actually hula hoops. The walls were all groovy and were dabcing too. Shoegorath was still there, he was on the phone to Hircine, they were arguing becos hircine's werewolves kept pooping on sheogortaths lawn. M'aiq looked arownd, he saw Rikke and totally Elsif, my 2 besties. They were rocking out to the new Katty Purry song, Katty Purry is a khajiit, she is a totes fames singer. M'aiq sold some skooma to a dancing worm then totally wented outside. I reelised I cud totes reed M'aiq's thoughts!

Skooma. Omg if I go outside then I can sell skooma to dragons imagine a dragon on skooma

OH TOTES NO THIS COULD NOT END WELL

"Hi are u a dragon?" arksed M'aiq, he cudent tell becos too much skooma.

"yeah lol." Sed the dragon, it was Mirmulnir, one of Alduin's gang members.

"Wanna buy skooma?" arksed M'aiq

"I don't have any moiney. Wait I can bash up odahviing to get sum!"

I saw odahviing standing somewhere nearby. He wos wearing elven armour but that wos probally just a trick of the skooma cos elven armour is unfashionable and odahviing is not unfashionable.

"excus me!" odahviing wos totes drunk, he cudent fly in a strate lion. He fus ro dahed Murmilnir and murmilnr fell into a barrel full of skooma, oh no it totes spilled everywhere and went into his scales, uh oh he had skooma scales.

Oh no skooma scales is an ancient khajiit legend. Dragens with skooma scales wud tayk over the world, they smellt like skooma but they cud more powerful than other drgan.s

Uh oh a totally skooma enhanced FUS RO DAH! Odahviing DED. But he was ok, he got up and FUS RO DAH murmilnir back. Omg they had a dual, but the skooma enhancement scales Murmilnir wos totally winnin. I knew if I dident totes do anyfing he wud die. Omg I had the totally wabbajack. I aimed it thru M'aiq's eye and totes shot at Murmilnir. But it hit M'aiq and turned him into a cabbage! Omg but I totes wosent in M'aiq's mind anymore, becos caggabe totally dusent have a mind becos it is a vegetable. I pointed it at Murmilnir again, and he turned into a sheep and I turned back into a humen, I wos buutiful once more! Omg totes Odahviing came up to me.

"wow thank hildreannaleena, u are very nice."

"that's ok." I totes

Oh no I turned around and ALDUIN HAD THE SKOOMA HE STOLE IT ALL AND FLEW AWAY

"oh no I exclamation marked!"

"lol" laffed odahviing becos he was drink "hey who's that?"

Omg the jarl of markarth wos still there. "I am jsrl igmund. Omg u safed me, sheogorath put me in the skooma mind becos I sed his outfit wos ugelly. I make u thane of marker, and have this housecarl."

OH EM TOTES GEE it wos totally the cutest guy evar. His name was totally argis the bulwark, and he wos blonde hair and cute strong lookin.

"oh em gee," I totally thanks

A totally courier came up to me, he had a note. "pls meet me, I am gonna halp u be a dragonburn."

"it cud be a murderer," warninged me odahviing. "I will tayk u and be ur bodygourd"

"thanks totally odahviing, but tomorrow cos its irresposiable to drink and fly," I mite bea poplar kid, but I wos repsobile.

"k im going home to watch Skyrim's Next Top Model," annownced odahviing.

Omg I wented back to the party to show that I wos totes not a sheep anymore. I looked so good omg. Sheogorath wos totally gone, thank talos he cudent turn me intoa sheep no more. Oh totes no, there wos another totally gatecrasher!