Sudden the wurld had totally shrunk! Somethin wos wrong, as usel in this story becos a story is not very interesting withowt a problem to solve. This is a totally good story, it is my diary, therefore it is well ritten becos I am totes smart, and the speeling is totes good and the storyline is interesting and ther are no continuity errars. Ok where wos I, oh yeah the world had grown, somefing hat gorne rung, I thinked wif my smart totally branes. But I totally cudent cum toa cunclisen. I arksed my smart totally friend, Elisif, what was wrong. She wos totally blonde but really smart in contrary to common missconceptens abowt blonde ppl. Wait, she wosent totes blonde though, she wos a caterpillar and they don't have hair!

Uh totally oh, what had happened? I used my totally powers to get back to normal, careful not to step on the ppl. I looked at the punch, it must have totally been spiked with the blood of werecatipplears to make ppl werecatieler. Well I had to get the totally antidote… wait! I totes spinned arownd. There wos only one other humen in the room, Rikke! She had a totally evil daydric artefact – the wabbajack! It weas sheogorath, the dadric lawd of chaos and silliness it wos his phone. It cud turn ppl into deifferent animels, oh no everyone got turned into a sheep! I totally no, I cud hear sirens. It was the totally Whiterun guard police, coming to arrest Rike for steal a phone!

I totallied. This was not a good sityooatchen. Why did Rikke have to be so dumb, she probs dident even totally understand what she had totes done. The police came in, rdy to arres, with handcuffs. Uh totes oh, the policemen were Kyler and another dude.

"Excuse me, we're lookin for Legate Rikke." Said another dude. OH NO THEY WUD ARREST HER.

I used a totally magical spell to invisible her. I hiccupped which was totally not rly a hiccup, it wos actuelly HIDE I said it in dovahzul, the dragon langeg which we all lurn at skewl so she knew what I wos sayn. "I do not totally know where she is," I told, it wos a lie I did rly know.

"Oh ok, why is evry1 a sheep?"

"Idk."

"Damb it, now we carnt tell which one is wearing the ugly dress to arrest," said Kyler.

"What?"

"We're the fashion police, here to arrest Legate Rikke for wear an ugly dress."

"ohhhhhh lol, that's ok then, shes over there." I pointed behind the totally curtain rikke was hide, she wos eval. Wait schools don't normelly have curtains, she wos hidin behind a cupboard. Ok well she wos hide there, and the policemans were arrest her. They were right, her dress wos ugel. It was brown with yellow stripes. It looked 1950s. I was shocked my totes bestie wud wear somethink so ugel. She totally needed fashion lessons from Odahviing. Uh oh Rikke was anger. She totes felt betrayed by me. She so anger that her dress burst into flames and it turned out it wosent rly Rikke, it wos an eval GOLDEN SAINT. Ja I know that sownds weird, but golden saints r servents of sheograth.

"Muahhahaaahhaahahahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahhahhahaaaahahahahahahahahahahahzhahahahahahahahahaaaaaa" she sownded like Scar, if you watch the song from the lion king be prepared in Russian and hear his eval laugh at the end that's how totally diabolical it sounded.

Kyler got burnt to ashes by the flames from the dress, sucks to be him lol. Oh totes no, where wos totally Rikke?

I quickely killed the eval golden saitn and stole her totally hairdo which wos fash3enable. Then I totes stole her sword too and Another dude dident arrest me becos he wos a fashen police, not a normel one. I totes had to find Rikke, oh no she had disappeared.

I looked in the most obves place first: the bathroom where she mite be doon her makeup. Uh totes oh, she wos not there. Mabye she wos in the totes crowd dancing. Nope. Maybe she had totally gorn home. What if she thort my party wos totsally terribol? My eyes wortered wif teers at the thort.

Sudden I wos blinded by a dress unbelievably beautiful! It wos the most totally dramatic etrance I had ever seen. A dregen burst the doors open to the skewl. It wos Odahviing! He wos wearin a fabulus sparkle dress, which was golden like the sun evan tho it wos totally nite and the sun does not come out at night. Rikke wos ridin, her dress wos evan moar buutiful! It wos red, the coller that soots her best. It wos also sparkle, it wos gorgeus. She looked like a totally magical princess.

"Sorry abowt late, she sed."

Everu1 wos totes captivarted. They looked at her amzed.

She wos now the centre of attenshun, which I dident mind becos im not arrogent or jellus or anything.

Oh no, everyone wos so distracted by rikke that they didn't notice the totally assassin sneak into our midst. I turnt arownd, it wos none other than astrid! I totally glared at her, but she dident notice. I saw her totes bf Arnbjorn. Aww, a romaentic. Oh totes no, she walked right past him. She walked up to Nazir, who wos a redgurd frum the dark brotherhood.

"Hey totes nazir, sed astrid."

"Hello astrid," he sed and then they started makin out! Arnbjorn saw, uh totes oh. Him facial expressun looked upset. Then him silver eyes narrowed in anger. Oh totes no, I cud feel tensun in the air. Somethin dramtic wos abowt to happen…

ARNBJORN SUDDENLY HOWLED, HE GREW FUR AND A FLUFFY HED HE WOS A WEREWOLF.

"go team Jacob!" he totally shouted then set on his missen to kill asrrid and naxir, not carin how many totally innocent bysanders got in the way!