god, i love some people sometimes

people are wasteful, they waste all the food

people are hateful and people are rude

but god, i love some people sometimes

cause people are very very special

people are impatient and don't know how to wait

people are selfish and prone to hate

but god, i love some people sometimes

cause people are the greatest thing to happen

- Andrew Jackson Jihad

It was four in the morning. Kei was tired and grumpy. Yet, here he was, sitting in a small circle with Tadashi, Hinata, and Kageyama. Gossiping. They were talking and giggling like little girls at a sleepover. Kei wondered where he went wrong to be pulled into such a … such a farce.

"Had you ever kissed someone?" Hinata asked, and Kei focused back on the conversation. They were talking about their lives before Z-Day, but none of them seemed to be incredibly unhappy. It probably had to do with the fact they weren't supposed to be awake, and breaking the rules gave them some sort of an adrenaline rush.

None of the other three answered the question, but Kageyama looked pained. Kei smirked and punched him in the arm. "I think Your Majesty has something to say!"

Kageyama scowled, but Kei knew the differences between the scowls now. (Wow, that's actually kind of depressing, that he knows the difference.) Kageyama's scowl was that he didn't want to answer, not because of the nickname. Hinata bounced up and down, pleading for him to tell the story. Kageyama sighed, and mumbled, "I accidentally kissed this girl once. I tripped and fell into her. Our lips touched."

"What," Kei deadpanned. Everyone was quiet for a second. Then, the group dissolved into a fit of giggles - like, does that even happen? Was Kageyama out of a stupid comedy or something? There was no way that was true. "Are - are you serious?"

A pause.

Then, "Yes. Unfortunately."

"Oh my god."

"What about you?" Kageyama asked, turning to face Kei. He was grumpy looking and obviously wanted to change who was the center of attention. "Have you kissed anyone?"

Before Kei could answer, Tadashi beamed and butted in. "Nope, the only person Kei has ever kissed is me! Only on the cheek, though."

"Wh-what, don't say stuff like that! Don't answer for me!"

Kageyama and Hinata exchanged a glance. Kei's face was turning red, and looked like he was going to explode from embarrassment any second. Hinata scooted closer to Kageyama and leaned over to whisper something in his ear. Kageyama smirked and nodded.

"Tsukishima and Yamaguchi, sitting in a tree! K - I - S - S - I - N - G!" The two sang in unison. They quickly shut up when Kei turned his glare on them, with full force. Hinata hid behind Kageyama, like always.

"Shut up! I'm surprised you two idiots can spell kissing!"

They kept asking each other questions, talking and gossiping for what seemed like forever. Daichi eventually woke up and snapped at them to go to sleep. They didn't dare go against their captain. Kageyama was asleep by the time he hit the pillow, Kei could tell. He snored.

It was kind of hard not to notice.

Kei wrapped an arm around Tadashi, not feeling sleepy anymore. He thought about people, places, memories. So, maybe he had actually come to like Hinata and Kageyama. That had to be the only reason he allowed himself to be apart of their little gossip session. He would never admit it to anyone, of course, but it was important to note.

Kageyama was still an asshole, though.

An asshole Kei didn't mind all that much anymore.

Kei still hadn't fallen asleep when static from the radio caught his attention. Karasuno kept the radio on at all times, but it rarely made noises. Except for emergencies and the daily report. Suddenly, the radio started beeping, the same exact sound that was used for tornado warnings. It gave Kei a headache and the chills.

This couldn't be good.

It was several hours before the daily report, and the beeping definitely signalled an emergency. All of Karasuno was wide awake and listening to the radio within minutes. A few moments later, the beepings subsided, and a panicked voice took over.

"Attention! Attention, everyone! A huge cluster of Ghosts have gathered and are threatening a designated safe area! I repeat, a designated safe area is now threatened! District 12 of Sector 5 is in danger of being overrun by Ghosts. All defense groups near there are asked to head there and protect the citizens."

Kei heard a strangled cry, and looked at Hinata. His face was screwed up in agony, and he cried into Kageyama's chest. Kei could hear what he said: "My family is there. I - I have to go!"

"Fuck," Daichi swore under his breath. He let the radio go for a few seconds, but the message only repeated. No new information. He turned to face the group, and took a deep breath. "As you know, that District is near us. That is where most of what is left of our families reside. This is an incredible dangerous mission, I will only take volunteers to go. This is not mandatory."

The group looked around anxiously. Everyone wondered if they should go, but Daichi was right. It was dangerous. They had no clue how many Ghosts would be there, they would have to worry about protecting people rather than exterminating the Ghosts. It was much harder to fight if they had to think ahead. If the Ghosts were threatening a designated safe area, then that meant there were too many for the guards to handle. It was a big deal if backup was called. By the time they would get there, there would have been plenty of deaths and carnage.

It was a difficult decision, for most.

But not for Hinata.

"I want to go," he said, almost immediately. Hinata stepped forward, bowing in front of Daichi. His face was the most determined Kei had ever seen. The expression was on the cusp of the few times the small man was intimidating. "I will go, even if I'm the only one."

Kageyama was right behind him. They had each other's backs. Kei sighed, stepping up with the two others, even before Tadashi did. No one said anything. It wasn't surprising that Tadashi volunteered as well. The four of them had somehow become a close knit group, over the months. If one went, the other three would go.

A few others volunteered.

Daichi.

Suga.

Tanaka.

Asahi looked panicked, and he stepped back. Nishinoya was right there, with him, and they stayed back together. Kinoshita, Narita, and the girls opted to stay behind as well. Ennoshita wavered, but eventually ended up volunteering.

Within ten minutes, the ragtag team of volunteers were ready to go. They gathered their weapons and made promises that everyone would come back. Kei wore his backpack, a gun and knife packed away. Kageyama stood by Kei, looking worried. "Are you alright?"

"I've got a bad feeling about this," Kei told him, as the group walked away from their home. The sky was dark, there was no doubt it would rain. Kei's gut twisted. Everything pointed to something bad happening.

Kageyama shrugged, patting Kei on the shoulder awkwardly. "Well, there is a huge cluster of Ghosts threatening innocent civilians. I think that's pretty bad, right?"

"I hope that's all it is."

Kageyama's glance at Hinata doesn't go unnoticed by Kei, and they both sighed. Eventually, Kageyama murmured, "Me too."

According to Daichi's information, it would only be an hour's walk to District 12, through the woods. They could only hope nothing too bad would happen during that time. No one really talked. There wasn't much to talk about. Only soft murmurs.

A half hour into their walk, Kei matched his pace with Hinata. He's a wreck, but still determined as ever. Kei actually admired that about him, how his optimism never wavered, that he only saw the best in situations. Kei wished he had that.

"It's supposed to rain today."

"Really?" Kei asked, aiming for sarcasm, but it went over Hinata's head.

"Yeah. I hate rain. It's a bad omen," Hinata said, playing with his fingers. He was anxious, but then again, everyone was. There's a reason to be, after all. "My family is there, you know."

"I know. We'll save them."

Kei heard a sniffle, but didn't say anything. There was a time and place for teasing. Now was not the time. Kei wondered when he ever started caring about this group of misfits. Hinata wiped his face with a hand, whimpering, "Promise?"

"I promise."

That's all they said, the entire time. The rest of the way, everyone was dead silent. They don't know what to expect, what will happen. All they could do was hope for the best, and sometimes, hope just isn't enough.

Karasuno knew they arrived before Daichi even checked the map. Three Ghosts came out of the woods, ready for an attack, but Ennoshita was too quick. Three arrows, and three dead Ghosts. The rest of the group readied themselves, and they went straight into the fray.

Out of the woods, and into the fight.

Everything went by in a blur for Kei. He vaguely recognized a few other defense groups, taking down Ghosts left and right. There were civilians running away, covered by Daichi and Suga. Tadashi took Ghosts down like his life depended on it. And it did.

It really did.

Kei doesn't know how much time had passed, or where he went, but he found himself in front of a building. He couldn't even see the woods anymore, or recognize anyone. The only person he could see was Tadashi.

Everything was fuzzy.

Kei wondered when it began to rain.

He ignored all the dead bodies.

Tadashi and Kei were alone, fighting a huge group of Ghosts by themselves. Kei smiled, remembering the old times. Him and Tadashi against the world, again and again. Always. Just the two of them.

The Ghosts fell, but for each Ghost they killed, two more took their place.

More people filtered in and out of view. Kei saw Ennoshita working with another defense group leader he recognized. Kageyama destroyed Ghosts, protecting everyone behind him. There really was no denying it, he really was the King of the Ghosts. Kei saw a group of people with the same hair color as Hinata. They were safe, with Hinata guarding the civilian area. Kei was glad he wasn't on the receiving end of his glare. That was frightening.

Kei was separated from Tadashi for a little bit after that, fighting side by side with Kageyama. Tadashi found him again, and they fought. They fought, and they fought, and they fought. Soon, Kei couldn't step anywhere without accidentally stepping on a corpse.

The amount of Ghosts slowed down, eventually. But only after Kei was physically exhausted, his breathing hard and rough. So much time had passed, Kei could feel the chill from the rain in his bones. He wondered if he would get sick. He hoped not.

The street he was on had few Ghosts left, and somehow he knew the rest of the streets were slowing down as well. A gut feeling, probably.

Kei stalked down the street, looking in alleyways for extra Ghosts. Kageyama and Tadashi were working together, within eyesight of Kei. Everything was fine.

Everything went from fine to complete Hell in a matter of seconds, and, suddenly, everything was not fine. A Ghost materialized out of the darkness, grabbing Tadashi and sinking its teeth into his side. It was so unlikely, such dumb luck that Kei barely realized it had happened.

Everything was not fine, not at all.

Three screams could have been heard. Tadashi, and his wail of pain. Kageyama, in anger, and Kei, in complete desperation. Kei should have known - he should have known, his job was to protect Tadashi, not this defense group bullshit. His only reason to live was for Tadashi, and he fucked it up.

He fucked it up!

Kageyama was quicker than him, killing the Ghost with a single gunshot to the head. Of course, the last one - the last one had to bite Tadashi. What kind of fucking luck was that? Had Kei been that horrible of a person in the past life, to see his one love be tortured by such happenstance? The scene was something out of a stupid movie. It was raining, out of all things, and Tadashi had been fucking bit by a Ghost.

The scene looked fake.

But it was so, so real.

Kei cursed the world and its cruel sense of humor.

He stood still in shock, his legs long past turned to jelly. He watched with horror as Tadashi collapsed in slow motion, barely supported by Kageyama's arms. He forced himself to move. He had to move - he had to get to Tadashi. Kei sprinted towards Tadashi, shoving Kageyama out of the way. He knelt on the ground and held Tadashi in his arms. It was impossible to ignore the blood seeping from the piece of flesh missing from his abdomen. Tadashi was bleeding out, and even if he survived that, he would become a Ghost.

He understood what that meant.

They both did.

"Kei, you're going to have to k-kill me," Tadashi mumbled. The wound had bled through his shirt and onto the ground. Tadashi held Kei's shirt so hard his fingers turned purple. He looked up at Kei with a soft smile. One tear slipped from Kei's eyes, then two, then five. Indistinguishable against the pouring rain, but Kei knew. Tadashi, with all his strength left, lifted a hand to touch Kei's cheek lovingly. "You have to be the one to finish the Ghosts off, okay? You were so … so cool. You saved me so many times."

Kei reached his hand out, running it gently through Tadashi's hair. Tears fell from his eyes onto the bloodstained fabric. This couldn't - this couldn't be happening. His voice cracking, he said, "Not this time. I couldn't save you this time."

A few feet away, Kei vaguely registered Kageyama standing there, watching. No doubt wanting to say hurry it up. But he didn't; he just watched with sad eyes. The difference between then and now was almost laughable.

Almost.

"I know how talented you are. You - you have to finish them off. Save everyone that's left," Tadashi gasped, beginning to feel faint from the blood lost. With a deep breath, he cracked a terribly forced smile. "You'll be a hero, Kei. A hero!"

"I don't want to be a hero if it means losing you!" Kei snapped, bowing his head to hide his tears. He leaned forward to press his forehead against Tadashi's, rocking him back and forth. Kei placed kisses everywhere on Tadashi's face, as if that would help him live.

Tadashi heaved a painful sounding breath. His voice was getting quieter by the second. Softer. Weaker. "Kill me. Please, Kei. I want to die being a human."

"I know. I know." He cupped Tadashi's face gently for a moment, then reached behind him and blindly grabbed for his pack. He pulled out his knife he kept safely in the front pocket. Holding the knife in his hand, he realized how much damage a single weapon could do. He didn't want to think about it.

He decided he would never use the knife again.

"I loved you so much, you know," Tadashi whimpered, his fists still locked on Kei's shirt. Kei's arms shook so badly he could keep his grip on the knife. His entire body was shaking. The tears didn't stop coming. Tadashi gasped in pain again. Everything was happening so quick. "So much, Kei. So much."

Kei held the knife against Tadashi's throat. A sliver of blood formed around the blade. Tadashi didn't seem to mind the blade. Of course he didn't mind, you idiot, he's missing an entire piece of his abdomen. Even when his best friend was dying, all his mind could do was insult.

God damn it.

He told his mind to shut up, and let him be logically emotional. His best friend was dying in front of him, he was allowed some fucking sadness, wasn't he? His eyes began to hurt from the sheer amount of tears. Kei told Tadashi something he never thought he'd have the courage to.

"I love you too, Tadashi."

The knife shook in his hand as Kei hesitated. Of course he hesitated. He hesitated, but then he did it. He sliced Tadashi's throat, and his world crumbled around him. For that last second of life, Tadashi smiled. Kei held Tadashi's body closer to him, and sobbed openly. He didn't care if Kageyama was watching. He didn't care that Kageyama had actually changed. He didn't care that there was a dwindling amount of Ghosts. He didn't care if anyone else had survived. He didn't care if it was raining and if he got soaked. He didn't care if he died.

The only thing he cared about was Tadashi, and now he was dead.

Kei rocked back and forth.

Tadashi's dead. Tadashi's dead. Tadashi's dead. Tadashi's dead. Tadashi's dead. It repeated in his mind, that was the only thing he could think. His best friend, the person he had loved, his reason for living was gone forever.

Kei looked up at the sky and screamed until his lungs burned.

Kageyama watched Tsukishima with sad eyes. He may not have been as close to Tsukishima as he was with Hinata or Yamaguchi, but it hurt to watch. His heart broke in half, and he looked away. It was still pouring, and they had been there for a half hour without moving. They had to leave, before any of them got sick. Kageyama knew Suga would give them hell if they got sick in a situation like this.

He sighed. He didn't want to do this, not to anyone, but especially not to Tsukishima. Shuffling over to Tsukishima's hunched body, he crouched down. Tsukishima's face was puffy and red. Kageyama rubbed his back awkwardly, and whispered, "Come on, Tsukishima. We need to go."

No answer.

Kageyama groaned. He knew this would happen. Grabbing Tsukishima's shirt, he hauled him up to his feet. When he didn't move, just stared at Tadashi's body, Kageyama pulled Tsukishima. They made their way back to the base the defense groups had set up by the civilian area. Kageyama made sure to take note of what intersection they were on.

It took five minutes to just get off the street. Tsukishima was the definition of lead weight, and Kageyama didn't have the energy for this. He let go of Tsukishima for a moment to check if there was anything in his backpack to help. Like, maybe he could lure Tsukishima with strawberries or something. When there was nothing remotely helpful, he huffed. What was he even thinking? Why the hell would he even have strawberry shortcake in his backpack? Wasn't he the one to pack his own bag?

Kageyama's head hurt. He couldn't think straight, and that wasn't good for either of them. But this was his duty. He saw everything happened. He had killed their friend, long ago. This was his job, and he would do it. He owed Yamaguchi that much. He couldn't save Yamaguchi, but he'd save Tsukishima.

He felt a hand on his body, and he tensed. A tug. Kageyama turned to face Tsukishima, but he didn't say anything. Nothing. Except for his hand. Suddenly, Tsukishima had slipped his hand into Kageyama's.

Then, it hit him.

Tsukishima always used to hold Yamaguchi's hand when they went somewhere. Kageyama had always thought it was because they were together, but maybe it was for safety purposes. Tsukishima was probably still in shock, and needed an anchor to keep him down. It didn't matter who it was.

(Or maybe, Tsukishima was so in shock he couldn't process what had happened. Maybe he thought Kageyama was Yamaguchi. But he hoped not. He really, really, hoped not.)

Holding Tsukishima's hand made moving a billion times easier. He walked with Kageyama without any pulling or unnecessary prompting. That should have made Kageyama feel better, but it just made him feel worse. He hated it. He hated himself for not seeing the Ghost before it got Yamaguchi.

What kind of King of the Ghosts was he if he couldn't even save his friend?

The two men got back to the temporary base in fifteen minutes, after that. There was no sign of any Ghosts at all, and everyone was gathered at the base. All the defense groups must have killed off all the Ghosts already.

Hinata spotted them immediately, bounding up to them with a bright smile. No doubt, he was about to boast how he saved the day, saved his family. Something like that. But the closer he got, the more he saw, and the more he understood. His face fell. Hinata started to ask what happened, but he never got to. Kageyama shook his head. Hinata covered his mouth with his hands and burst into tears. They didn't need to say anything, Hinata knew what Kageyama meant. They always could communicate without words, and for once, Kageyama was glad. It meant he didn't have to say it out loud.

It meant he didn't have to go through that memory again.

Hinata ran, probably to get Daichi.

Soon enough, Tsukishima and Kageyama were crowded by Daichi and Suga. In soft words, Kageyama told them where to find Yamaguchi's body. He told them to go and bring his body. Yamaguchi deserved a real funeral, not to be left to rot on a street, with the Ghosts.

No one commented on them holding hands.

They must have knew better.

Kageyama wondered if everyone knew except him. If everyone understood Tsukishima better than him. He wished he had known more about Yamaguchi. There was so much he wanted, but he knew he wasn't the one to be worried about. He wasn't the one who had lost the person closest to him.

Tsukishima lifted his head up, looking around. His eyes were void of life, like he had died along with Yamaguchi. Kageyama didn't doubt it. He probably had. Tsukishima looked like he vaguely recognized where they were, and he let go of Kageyama's hand.

Kageyama almost wished he hadn't.

He watched anxiously as Tsukishima walked away from them, tripping over nothing. Tsukishima landed on a knee, but didn't care. He didn't even stand back up, just collapsing onto the ground. Kageyama wanted to tell him to be more careful, but he couldn't. Tsukishima curled up into a ball, and Kageyama knew he had blacked out.

Suga brought a blanket and a pillow, making sure Tsukishima was as comfortable as possible. He gave one to Kageyama, too, and he pulled it around his shoulders. Kageyama stared at Tsukishima. Even though he was passed out, pain was still evident on his face. He didn't know how long he stared at Tsukishima. Long enough for Daichi and Ennoshita to have brought Yamaguchi's body back.

Kageyama hunched over and cried.