Authors Note:
My apologies for being late. I have been sick as a dog over the the past week.
I also apologize for the shortness of this chapter. It should have been twice as long.
I plan to have the next chapter up by the weekend.
As always, I welcome reviews, even the not so great ones.
If I am running late on a chapter, or have story notes, you can check them on my LiveJournal account.
Merlin tried to hide his smile as he walked back to Gaius' chambers. He couldn't help himself though, he was embarrassingly pleased. Arthur had praised him. Well, not really, but he had verbally recognized what Merlin had been doing for him, and that was praise enough. Merlin would have done it anyway, as he always had in the past, but it did feel nice for Arthur to acknowledge it for once.
Merlin noted that he even had a warm feeling in his chest. He berated himself for being a "girl". Then he decided 'to heck with it'. Merlin couldn't remember Arthur ever showing appreciation – at least not towards him. To others, yes, to him, never. He wondered for a second if perhaps there was something wrong with Arthur, then quickly shushed up any doubts and concerns. He could return to those later, right now he just wanted to bask in Arthur's approval before everything returned to normal and Arthur found something wrong to berate him for.
Merlin's smile had faded by the time he reached the top of the stairs that led to the physician's chambers. A grimace had replaced his smile, his long arms hugged his ribs. He stopped before reaching the door and leaned back on the wall to catch his breath. After a minute or two, he could breathe without his ribs shooting pains through his body. He waited a minute more until his breathing and heartbeat had leveled out. He started to push himself off the wall when a thought struck him. He rolled his eyes and let out a little groan. Gaius was off with Horatius. They would have dinner together, which means Gaius had probably not cooked. Merlin should have stopped by the servants' dining area and eaten. He looked back down the stairs and decided he was nowhere near that hungry. Maybe after he took the pain draught and rested a bit he might attempt going back down.
He straightened up and walked the ten steps to the door to their chambers and entered. He stood there, his mouth agape, hand still on the open door. The aroma that greeted him was a mouthwatering combination of herbs, spices, and meat. Gaius' stew had never smelled like that. He looked around and found a young woman bending over the pot in the fireplace adding what looked to be mushrooms.
He cleared his throat, "Um, hello?"
The young woman turned to the sound with a questioning smile on her face. Upon seeing him her eyes flew open wide and she bowed and uttered out "My Lord". Merlin immediately turned and looked behind himself believing that Arthur must have somehow come up behind him. When he saw no one, he turned back around confused. Three things dawned on him at once. The first was that the girl was Sabine, the Druid woman they had saved. Secondly, she was bowing to him and addressed him as 'My Lord'. Lastly, the door was standing wide open.
He quickly closed the door and watched her as she straightened back up. He ran his hand through his hair nervously. "Um, please don't….don't bow to me, and definitely don't address me as 'My Lord'" he stuttered out.
"Yes Emrys" she replied and started to bow again before catching herself.
"And definitely don't call me Emrys. Please – call me Merlin." The manservant all but begged.
"All right….Merlin" Sabine said, a bashful smile on her lips.
Merlin slowly walked over to the table and sat down on the hard bench. He watched her for a few moments. "You're a Druid." It wasn't exactly a statement, nor was it really a question.
"Yes Em…Merlin" she bowed her head slightly.
Merlin let out a sigh. "Do you have magic?"
She looked at the floor and nodded her head in the affirmative.
Merlin sighed again and started drumming his fingers on the table lightly as he considered this information. He waited until she raised her head again and looked at him. Merlin stopped drumming his fingers and stared pointedly at her. "Do you have any idea how dangerous it is for you to be here?"
"I will be careful My…Merlin" She assured the warlock.
The corners of Merlin's mouth quirked upward. "You are really having a problem with the name aren't you?"
"You are Emrys. It seems wrong to address you so casually." She answered meekly.
Merlin motioned her to take a seat. After she sat he leaned forward and put his elbows on the table, forearms up, and clasping his hands together. He steepled his index fingers and bounced them slightly against his lips as he tried to think of what to say. He winced as the new position caused the pain in his ribs to worsen. After a few moments, he sighed and dropped his forearms to the table, leaving his hands clasped together and sat up straighter to relive the pressure on his ribs.
"I know that your people call me Emrys. Maybe one day I will be that Emrys that your people think is so wonderful. Right now, I am just Merlin. I'm a servant to a prince that can be an egotistical prat at times. I trip over things. I have doubts. I make mistakes. I go to the privy like everyone else. I'm just….me."
Sabine giggled and blushed slightly when he mentioned the privy. "I understand, I think." She paused for a moment. "But still, you are so powerful. I think maybe it is you who do not realize yet how important that you are, even now. I have heard of your kindness, your compassion…your goodness."
Now it was Merlin's turn to blush. He felt the heat flair in his cheeks and ducked his head.
Sabine giggled softly "And your humility."
Okay, that did it, Merlin felt the heat in his ears and knew that they must have turned Camelot red. He heard the other stool slide back against the floor. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Sabine get up and go to stir the stew. It gave him a few moments to settle himself. She asked over her shoulder if he was ready to eat. Without waiting for an answer, she ladled up two bowls of stew. She grabbed the half loaf of stale bread and brought them to the table.
Merlin took a bite of the stew as she sat down across from him. He closed his eyes and hummed in appreciation. "Gaius certainly didn't cook this." He said with a smile.
"Yes he did," she said, grinning "I just…enhanced it a bit."
"It's really good!" Merlin said as he spooned up some more. After eating about half a bowl, he set down his spoon. "Like I said before, it is very dangerous for you to be here. Magic is outlawed on pain of death. The people here are scared of magic. One slip, and you could end up on the pyre."
"I will be careful. I really don't use much magic anyway." Sabine tried to assure him. "I usually just use it in healing anyway."
Merlin took another bite of stew and swallowed. "Why did you come to Camelot? Surely there are safer outlying villages. Or we could try to get you back to your camp."
"It was time for me to leave. I didn't really belong there anymore." She said quietly. "My family is dead. One of the elders took me in and cared for me, treated me as his own. No one could have treated me better. He and the other elders taught me a lot about healing. That is my talent. But the thing is, As much as I believe the teachings..." she trailed off and sat there quietly looking at her hands.
"What?" Merlin asked kindly.
"I just don't feel comfortable there. I don't like moving every six months. I don't like living in caves when it is cold. I don't like living in the forest. I want a home." She quietened and looked down at her hands again and spoke softly "You must think I am a terrible person after all they have done for me"
"No, not at all." He reassured her. "Not everyone is cut out for that type of life. I doubt I would want to live like that."
She nodded her head slowly. "I talked to Abban – the elder who took me in. He did not get angry when I said I wanted to leave. But he asked me to stay for six more months, and I did. We continued with my training. We moved to the caves and met up with another group. Abban talked to their chieftain and to a seer. One day, they called me to them. They asked if I still desired to leave. I felt very guilty, but I told them that I did.
"They smiled at me and said that my destiny would bring me to Camelot. That this is where I was to be."
"Did they tell you why? I mean, what in Camelot you were to do?" Merlin asked worriedly.
She looked at him. "They just told me that this is where I would find my life. I doubt I could have much of a destiny, but whatever that destiny is, I will meet it head on."
"Where did you get the horse and the cart…and your clothes? Those" he indicated her clothing with a wave of his hand "are not druid."
"They traded for them. I didn't want them to, but they insisted. They said it would help me fit in better."
"I see, that makes sense" he started to dip his spoon into the bowl, then noticed he had already finished it.
"I'll get you some more" she stated as she started to get up.
"No, that's okay." Merlin bent forward and started to reach across the table to take her hand when he gasped harshly and grabbed his side.
"Oh! Your ribs!" She cried as she got up quickly and moved around the table to him.
"No, no, I'm fine. I just forgot." He said between gasps.
"I should have rewrapped them as soon as you got here. I'm so sorry. Gaius told me to wrap them." Sabine stammered.
Merlin looked at her a bit mortified. "You are going to wrap them?"
Sabine looked confused "Yes, I am a healer, after all"
Merlin blushed slightly. "What I mean is, well, you're a girl…and I'm a guy…"
Merlin noticed her giving him a look that reminded him very much of Arthur's 'You're being an idiot' look. He looked at her sheepishly. "Sorry, I'm being an idiot aren't I?"
"Just slightly" she said with a grin.
"I think I had better take Gaius foul concoction before we wrap it. I went without medicine earlier, and I'm really starting to feel it".
Sabine walked over to the cupboard and picked up the draught. She walked back over and sat it down on the table. She hesitated for a moment, then said nervously. "You know, I can heal it for you…your ribs I mean"
"No you can't" Merlin said firmly. When Sabine looked insulted and ready to argue he held up his hand to forestall her comment. "What I mean is, I am sure that you can…but you can't. This is what I meant earlier about being careful. Arthur knows my ribs are cracked and I'm not that good of an actor. I'll forget and move normally, and Arthur will get suspicious if I am suddenly healed."
"Oh, I hadn't really thought of that! I mean, I knew that I couldn't do anything obvious with Sir Leon, but I hadn't thought I would need to be so cautious with you." She sighed.
Merlin looked thoughtful. "Can you dull the pain? I mean, without the draught?"
She nodded vigorously. "It will last about four hours. You will still need to move carefully. Pain is meant to let your body know that there is an injury. However, I think you are well aware of that."
Merlin gave her one of his most dazzling smiles. "Well, what are we waiting for?!"
Sabine helped the manservant to stand. She moved his arms away from his body and told him to relax. She reached up and placed her hands softly on his temple and whispered "bánwærc álynian." She then moved one hand down to his left side and whispered again "bánwærc álynian." She moved her other hand to his right side and again said "bánwærc álynian."
She stepped back. "Twist your body slowly and see how it feels"
Merlin tentatively twisted ever so slightly, first to the left, then to the right. He then straightened his back. A bright smile grew on his face. He bent over and touched the bench, stood back up, then took a few steps. "That is amazing!"
Sabine laughed. "Don't overdo it, or you won't think it is so amazing later." She walked over to the cupboard and retrieved the bandages and salve. "Take off your tunic" she called over her shoulder.
Merlin took off his neckerchief then pulled his tunic over his head. Still no pain. He dropped the tunic on the bench, then crossed his arms.
Sabine watched him with a smirk and shook her head. "Uncross your arms"
It didn't take her long to get the wraps off. She forced herself not to stare at the large burn scar on his chest or the black veiny scar on his lower back. There were other scars as well that were hidden under the bruising on his ribs, stomach, and back. She could feel them as she gently rubbed the salve over his bruises. After the salve she started binding his ribs again. Merlin grunted a few times when he thought the binding was too tight. "Wait until I am finished, then we can loosen it if we need to" she said after the fourth grunt. When she finished she loosened them ever so slightly so that he could breathe a bit easier.
Merlin felt the bindings loosen when she pulled on them. He was grateful, he had felt like he couldn't breathe. He also had a dull throb around his ribs. She placed her hand on his head and whispered the spell one last time and all the pain left again.
Sabine took a step back and admired her handiwork. "How does that feel?"
Merlin twisted again but noticed that he had less range of movement after being wrapped again. He knew that was the way it was supposed to be to keep his ribs in place. However, he was out of pain and could move easily enough. "Great! You are going to have to teach me that one"
She smiled at him. "That one is a bit harder to learn. You have to know the intent of the spell to make it work, not just the words. It took me forever to learn it correctly."
Merlin was interested "How so?"
She smiled again "Abban says that pain does not originate at the point of the injury, but rather in your head. That the caster has to concentrate on the the portion of the brain that causes you to feel pain. For that reason, it is easier to cast on someone else, but not on yourself."
Merlin was confused. "How can the pain come from somewhere other than where you are hurt?"
She giggled. "I used to wonder the same thing. It didn't make sense. But when I stopped questioning it, and did as he said, the spell started to work. When we both have some time to spend on it, I will teach you. But right now I have to get going. I want to stop in on Sir Leon before it gets too late." She walked over and picked up a bag and placed some wraps, ointments, and several vials of some sort of medicine in it.
"Thank you for the dinner, and the…you know…to help with the pain." Merlin said as he pulled his tunic over his head.
She walked to the door but paused before leaving "I'm glad we had a chance to talk…Merlin" She smiled somewhat proudly at having called him by his name without stumbling. She then turned and left.
Merlin went back to the table and let the smile slowly fall from his face. She seemed like a nice girl. But these days, one couldn't be too careful. For all he knew, she could be a spy for Morgause and Morgana. If she was, they would be in big trouble because she knew who he was. Or maybe she was here to seek out vengeance for some other reason. He sat there for a while and pondered and worried. He finally sighed and stood up, grateful that the spell seemed to still be keeping the pain at bay. He grabbed his jacket and headed out the door.
The manservant walked slowly through the town and hid in the shadows as people passed. He saw Gwaine and Percival going into the tavern and shook his head in amusement. He would let the big knight take care of his friend tonight.
He really needed to talk to Arthur about the guards. It was ridiculous how easily someone can sneak in and out of the city. Not only were they too easily fooled into leaving their post, they were too predictable on their rounds. Merlin had no problem getting out, and even moving as slowly as he was, he was able to make it to the tree line with no problem.
Merlin was moving slower than usual to keep from injuring himself, but he finally came to the familiar clearing. He had questions. He wanted answers, and he hoped his kin would know them. Merlin tilted his head to the sky and roared "O drakon, e male so ftengometta tesd'hup'anankes!"