Extra big thanks to Ziirroh for beta reading for me. I do appreciate it. Now Let's play a game. Take a shot each time you read Les Ninjas de L'amour.
"So what's your excuse this time?"
"It wasn't my fault Yang. The guy hit me!"
Yang shook her head as she rolled up the sleeves on her fitted long sleeved shirt. "You say that every time you get into an accident. But I have seven years of anecdotal evidence that proves otherwise."
The smaller ginger standing next to Yang huffed. She crossed her arms over her chest as she replied, "That is unscientific and unreliable at best. Besides, you're the Asian. You're supposed to be the bad driver."
"Now that just racist Nora", the blonde responded with a guileful grin.
"Oh you don't care. 'Cuz you know I don't mean any harm."
Yang chuckled, giving her smaller friend a one arm hug as they stood in front an expensive sports car; a metallic hot pink Pegassi Infernus with two terrible fender benders.
Yang sighed as she walked around the vehicle parked in front of the building, hands gliding over the car roof. "This is such a beautiful car. Your dad is going to kill you."
"He can only kill me if he finds it," Nora responded as she leaned against the wall opposite of the stairs. "You're gonna fix it for me, right?"
"Sneak into old man Thor's shop after hours again and risk my job just so you don't have to take public transportation? Sure, why not. Now help me push."
The shorter ginger beamed as she hopped over to Yang. With a few grunts, and careful steering, the two girls pushed the damaged car under the apartment near the stairs leading to the first floor of her complex. They were careful not to bump Bumblebee sitting in the second sheltered spot. "So, how did the accident happen?" the blonde asked.
"I was at a red light when some jerk in an old, ugly muscle car with a cracked windshield ran into the back of me. He wasn't driving really fast, but it was enough to send me flying into the car in front of me. And the guy who hit me didn't even stop. He drove around me and sped away! I mean, who drives in with a broken windshield?!"
"People who refuse to pay for it to get fixed, that's who. So, did you get his plate number as he drove off?"
"My dash cam did. I filed a police report, but there is no way I'm letting my dad know about this."
The blonde hummed. "And I'm here to bail you out of another jam. Nora, as good as a friend you are I can't keep doing this."
"Please Yang; help me just one more time. I'll return the favor."
The blond sighed, knowing it wouldn't be the last time. "I already told you I'd help. Your car will be ready before the weekend is over."
The smaller girl jumped and latched on to Yang like a koala and gave her a bone crushing hug. Despite her petite frame she had the strength of a burly Viking warlord. Which wasn't surprising given her father was one.
"So tell me about this date you have with Mr. Lie Ren", the blonde wheezed as she attempted to get Nora to loosen her grip.
The spunky ginger released Yang from her hold and nervously rubbed the back of her head. "It isn't a date. We're just going to premier of my new movie."
"What new movie?"
"You know, the one that just finished shooting three months ago; Les Ninjas de L'amour."
The blonde brawler chuckled at her companion, earning the cutest pout she had seen. Well one that wasn't from Ruby anyway. "You told me you were just an extra. Now you've got a leading role? Do tell, which part is it?"
Nora shuffled her feet and quietly mumbled that it didn't matter if she was just an extra. Yang grinned.
"So in other words, you aren't going to a grand premier but you'll be sitting in the film booth with Ren on the day the movie debuts."
Nora groaned. "It will be sorta like a grand premier. They are having a limited release of the movie here in Vale and across Mistral. Only a few tickets will be given out at select theaters and Ren's family theater is one of them."
The blonde hummed and cracked a grin, making a mental note of what the petite Viking told her. Nora stuck her tongue out at her friend like a child before giving her a wink.
Walking from under the shelter the blond glanced up toward the sun before starting to walk down the street. "So do I still get a free lunch out of this or will it use up my favor?"
The bubbly ginger shook her head. "Nope, I'm totally serious about us hanging out today, free lunch included. As for the favor, I mean it. You can have anything you want!"
"Anything I want?"
"Anything you want!"
The blonde smiled at her companion, stopping in front of Jaune's restaurant. They weren't planning to eat here but Nora wanted to say hello, having not seen her friend in a long time. Sitting at the counter top the usual greetings where exchanged, and Nora had managed to drag Jaune into another conversation about her many strange dreams. From the corner of her eye Yang noticed a familiar face sitting at the back table reading a book.
Dressed in black skinny jeans with a black t-shirt and a white sports training jacket sat Blake Belladonna. She held a brown, leather bound book in her hand as she tapped her purple and black high top sneakers to the music playing from her small earbuds. A new waitress, one Yang had yet to meet walked over to Blake's table to drop off a small cup of tea. The Faunus thanked her then directed her gaze to Yang when she noticed the blonde was watching. She blinked a couple of times then gave Yang a small grin.
The brawler whipped her head around, blushing and feeling a bit embarrassed to have been caught. Jaune didn't plan on saying anything but Nora wouldn't let it go unnoticed.
"So that's the girl you've told me about. Ooo, she's pretty alright."
"Don't be so loud, she can hear you!" Yang hissed.
"Aww, Yangy is being all shy and embarrassed. How cute!" the ginger sang. The brawler groaned and Jaune shot her a sympathetic look.
"So, are you going to go talk to her?" he asked. Since her one sided brawl with Cardin Winchester, Yang hasn't had much interaction with Blake. The Faunus had been a lot less hostile to Yang, but her reserved and neutral attitude still made Blake intimidating. It was still hard for Yang to hold her composure when she could still feel the Faunus' amber eyes dissect her like a lab pig.
But that never stopped the blonde woman from trying. Nodding and sliding from her stool Yang tried her best to calmly walk over to Blake's table, hands nervously running through the golden locks that draped over her shoulder. The Faunus sensed her approach and after digging around the pocket of her jacket she removed her earbuds. "Hey, how's it going?" Yang hesitantly asked as she took a seat across from the feline Faunus.
And there it was. Those honey glazed eyes were working their daunting magic. Under Blake's calculating gaze she felt like a tiny insect. The Faunus didn't speak nor did she let any emotions play on her face. And while it was only a few seconds before Blake greeted her back, the blonde struggled to keep her eyes on the girl in front of her. She couldn't help but feel Blake was playing some sort of mind game with her.
"So uh, I was just coming by to see how you were doing. Are you enjoying your off day?"
"I am. I enjoy the time I have to read."
"Cool, cool. So whatcha readin?"
In three quick motions the feline Faunus dog eared the page she was on, snapped her book shut, and flipped it over so that the gold lettering on the front cover remained hidden. "Nothing you would find interesting", she sharply responded.
Blake may have thought the girl didn't get a chance to see what she was reading but the busty blonde already did. "Oh uh, no reason to be ashamed. I mean Les Ninjas de L'amour is a good book series. Was that volume 2?"
The Faunus looked away from Yang and drummed on her hard cover tome for a few seconds, cat ears flickering. Biting her lip she looked back to Yang and the blonde swore Blake was blushing just a bit.
"Yes."
"Well that's cool. I heard they got a movie based on volume one coming out. Are you planning to see it?"
The Faunus' eyes darted across the diner floor. "I want to, but I will not have time. It is limited release so tickets will be hard to get."
"Ah yeah, I forgot about that. Well maybe it will do well in limited release and come to theaters everywhere…"
The blonde trailed off and stared at Blake for a solid minute. Blake had meanwhile returned her gaze on the blonde, but noticed despite Yang looking at her, she wasn't really looking at her. Suddenly Yang shot up knocking her chair on the floor. Blake jumped in her seat, eyes wide as her cat ears stood erect on her head.
"I forgot I have something to do, bye!" she exclaimed, words said so quickly they jumbled together in gibberish. Tripping over her chair and stumbling back to Nora the brawler dragged her ginger friend out her chair and out the store, shouting something along the lines that she needed her favor now when Nora protested. Jaune and Blake looked at each other, but before the Faunus could even ask the young chef threw up his hands.
"I don't even know." And that was the end of that.
"No", Ren spoke as he ran his fingers through his black hair.
In a surprisingly harmonious chorus Yang and Nora whined, "But Ren!"
"No. No free tickets", he declared again as he spun in his office chair and stood.
After hastily leaving Jaune's restaurant the duo ran back to Yang's apartment to jump on Bumblebee and drive downtown. It only took ten minutes for them to reach the Lotus Palace Theater, one of the four theater complexes owned by Ren's family.
"But dude", Yang protested, "I don't want free tickets. I just want to buy two."
"So why don't you buy them when available like everyone else?"
"Because I know I won't get two for the show" she groaned in response. "Everyone and their mother will be lining up to see the movie and you only got so many you can sell."
The duo had rushed, because according to Nora, Ren spent most of his Sundays here doing the bookkeeping's for the business. A young accountant by trade, Ren offered his services to his family in exchange for following his true passion of filmmaking. So long as he did well in his classes, helped on movie premier's nights, and kept up with the finances of the business, his parents would pay for school, his living expenses, and help fund his small films. Currently they were trying to negotiate a deal with the inspiring filmmaker to use his family blessing and give them a favor; one Nora promised she could get.
"Then you should understand why I can't give you any—"
"Dude, as my friend you should be able to hook me up with special perks. What good are you if you can't?!"
Their black hair friend grunted in obvious hurt at Yang's comment, turning to walk towards the back of the office. It was then that Nora decided to jump in and assist Yang in convincing Ren.
"Come on Ren, I owe Yang a favor. All debts must be repaid."
Ren turned around to face the duo and raised an eyebrow at Nora and stared at her with a funny look.
"What debts? What did you do?" Nora clammed up and Ren grinned at her sudden shyness.
With a sly grin he asked again, "Nora, why do you owe Yang a favor?"
"It's an old debt", the ginger managed to squeak, but Ren didn't buy it. But he had a pretty good idea of what she had done this time.
"You know, I didn't see your car parked out front. And I know you love driving in your car everywhere. Where is it?"
Nora shuffled uncomfortably on her feet. She looked to Yang but the blonde was trying hard not to look at Ren herself.
"Did you have another accident?"
"She didn't—", Yang started but never finished as Nora cried out that it wasn't her fault.
The taller man chuckled as he turned around and bent his knees in front of a small black safe tucked away in the corner. "You know, once her father finds out you'll be in a world of trouble Yang."
"He tells me that all the time. If I wasn't his best mechanic, I'd be out of a job by now."
Removing a black metal box from the safe Ren stood and placed it on the office desk. Unlocking the box with a small key from his pocket he placed his hand inside and removed two laminated tickets.
"Well there's no use in making you beg for the tickets. So I'll let you buy these both right now, so long as I get a favor or two as well."
"Seriously?! What more do I have to do?" Yang cried.
"You don't have to do anything Yang. What I want will come from Nora", he responded waving the tickets in front of them.
"And what is that?" Nora asked. It wasn't that Nora was opposed to helping Ren. In fact, she was likely going to assist him no matter what he asked for. If anything, asking was a just formality. She had to at least ask…
"You have to tell your father about your car."
"No way!" Nora gasped. "That defeats the purpose of—"
"Deal!"
Ignoring Nora's protests Yang pulled out her wallet and slapped exact change on the office desk. Ren took the money, tucked it away in the small black box, and rewarded Yang the tickets. Now with her own holy grail held in her hands Yang danced about the office chanting, "I got the tickets!"
"Be careful with those. They are nonrefundable and non-replaceable." Ren droned.
"Can't get money back; can't replace 'em if I lose 'em, I know. "
"I hope you enjoy the movie next Thursday. You must have something special planned if you're this excited."
"Of course! Now if you'll excuse me I got another errand to run. We'll have to postpone until later Nora."
"Now wait just a second—"
"Later!" And like that Yang ran out the office. Nora watched her friend and with the most exaggerated sigh she could make and plopped down into a chair opposite of Ren.
"This is great! My dad is going to make me ride the bus everywhere! I've basically gotten nothing out of this deal."
"Public transit isn't so bad. Living in a big city like Vale works out great since you don't have to learn bus times." Ren responded casually, causing Nora to groan and drop her head on his desk.
"Don't get too down Nora. My second request might actually be a good thing for you."
"And what's that?" she mumbled.
Gently Ren cupped Nora's chin and lifted her face. With an uncharacteristically nervous grin Ren answered, "My second favor involves you and me. Would you like to go out on a date; this time, not as friends?"
Blake was in a dilemma. Well dilemma wouldn't be the right word to describe the situation she was in. But it was definitely a hard decision she had to make. In no more than thirty minutes after she left Yang had appeared again, barreling through and stumbling into a chair at Blake's table with a wide smile covering her face. Blake was little confused, but from the rapid fire conversation to follow, Yang had used a favor a friend owed her to acquire some valuable goods.
They were two tickets for Les Ninjas de L'amour; before anyone else could get them.
And it would appear the brawler was trying to convince her to go to the movie with her.
"So, how about it? I'm sure Jaune would give you time off to see it with me."
"Have you read the books before?"
"If I say yes will you go with me?"
Blake bit her lip and stared at the two tickets on the table. Blake did not have much of an issue with Yang. Since her conversation with Jaune and subsequent make up, the blonde had become bearable these days and even entertaining at times. Still, she appeared brash and childish; Yang wasn't the brightest of people Blake had met before, and her jokes still went over the Faunus' head. In short Blake didn't hate her, but she didn't like her enough to spend time with the woman.
On the other hand, this golden goose laid Blake the fattest golden eggs she could have ever wanted. Yang was presenting her with tickets to what she knew would be the greatest film of their lifetime. For a diehard fan like herself, she could not pass up the opportunity to see a movie only rumored about for ten years! She had followed this author for years, read all of their work! It behooves any religious fan of such great literature to support a theatrical release!
But she had to go with Yang.
But it was Les Ninjas de L'amour.
Ignore Yang, or see the movie?
The choice was so obvious and no matter how much the feline Faunus prayed, she wouldn't be presented with a third, preferable option.
"You have read the books before, yes?"
"Uh, sure. I have. Or am currently reading. Or I'm going to…"
Blake sighed and gingerly reached out to take a ticket in silent affirmation that she would attend the limited showing with Yang. Said blonde squealed in delight and she could tell the girl was restraining herself from reaching over the table to hug her.
"Oh Blake this will be so great! We can go to the movie, grab some food. Maybe even hang out downtown!"
A thought crossed Blake's mind as tuned out the blonde woman's excited rambling, one of how she probably made the girl's day. When she watched Yang all but danced out the store, Blake allowed a sly grin to form on her face. This might not be so bad. After all, Yang did say she read the books.
Then she recalled the contents of said books. Regret quickly formed. This may have been the worst decision Blake has made yet.
This had to have been the worst decision Yang has made to date. If Yang had known more about Les Ninjas de L'amour other than it being a saucy romance novel she would have just given Blake a ticket then went home to sleep in her bed.
But hindsight is always twenty-twenty.
The movie seemed innocent enough. A romantic tale between an experienced ninja who swore off love following the death of his wife on the battlefield, and his protégé, a young brilliant kunoichi he saved from a brothel when she was but a child. With the settling in the old world's Sengoku period spanning from the old master's birth to the young female's ninja's death it was to be a movie that also promised action and adventure, even if a little historically inaccurate.
And it certainly looked that way from the opening scene. Ignoring the archaic Japanese the actors spoke –which unfortunately for Yang was badly subtitled into French—and the shaky camera movement reminiscent of Doverfield and the Flair Warlock Project, Yang was hooked by the fast pace fighting of two ninjas fighting in a forest.
As they flew between dense trees and threw kunai at each other, the ninjas expertly dodged thrown weapons and occasional attacks from each other.
Yang watched in glee as the shorter ninja dual wielding katanas sliced down in a cross to incapacitate their opponent, only to meet by the hilt of the taller ninja's chokutō. She watched in interest as the taller ninja rushed to their foe, only to find the shorter ninja used their speed to literally disappear into thin air. Yang gasped when the short ninja was thrown against a tree followed by the taller enemy grabbing at their neck.
What followed next led to great confusion and embarrassment. The two combatants shared a brief conversation of taunts.
"Your skills have improved young one, but you are still fifteen years too young to best me in combat."
"Remove your mask so that I may see the face of my victor. Or are you too ashamed of the scar I gave you that mars your pretty face?"
Then, the shorter ninja, revealed to be a woman, cried as she stroked the enemy's short brown hair.
"I don't want you to go my love."
"I have to leave. Else you will not become the warrior I trained you to be."
The two kissed, and in a quiet plead the woman asked the older ninja for one last favor before he departed. Then everything went downhill from there.
"What the hell did I take us to go see", Yang mumbled as she covered her eyes to keep from viewing the screen as a woman behind her hushed Yang.
It took all of two second for it to happen by Yang's account. In two seconds the brown haired actor and dark haired actress had shed their clothes. In two seconds the male actor pushed the actress against the tree. And in two seconds Yang choked on her Dr. Pipper and threw her hands on her face as the sound of sweet passionate lovemaking filled the theater.
"What the hell is this movie?" Yang questioned with a groan.
"Please love, don't stop!"
"Dear God, Buddha, Monty, save me."
"I love you so much!"
"I regret this decision so much…"
"Let's go to ecstasy, together."
"I can't believe I screwed up this bad!"
"Blonde, shut up down there", someone hissed.
Yang stood up, fist tightly clench, but was quickly pulled down to her seat by her companion who was now staring at her with a pensive glare. It was Blake, and she looked pissed, if Yang was reading her amber eyes correctly. The blonde wanted to speak but when she opened her mouth the feline Faunus had hushed her before turning back to the screen. Yang sank deep into her seat and brushed a few locks over her shoulder to play with.
This was going to be a long movie.
Yang was confused.
"Too late! Now prepare to die!"
Yang didn't understand what was going on in the movie. One moment the movie was flowing fine. Or as well as it could have gone when the first few minutes of the film was mindless sex.
Yang had been paying attention, and as far she could guess the female ninja was on a secret mission to kill a daimyo who opposed the famous warlord Oda Nobunaga. After running into some trouble with said local daimyo the ninja had escaped to a nearby village that was more or less, the local red light district for the town she fled from.
"Don't let her get to the mountains."
Desperate to get to the mountains the ninja ran through several houses where one could see nothing but illicit activities taking place. Every kind of illicit activity one could imagine. But the worst of it wasn't even the nudity. In just twenty minutes, the movie had gone from a bad triple X rated film to a bloody gore fest that would scare even the most demented of horror fiction writers.
"Ahhh! She cut off my hands!"
There was blood, everywhere; on the ground, on clothes, in food, on house doors, in the water. Even the ninja was covered in red. At any given opportunity the kunoichi chopped off arms and legs, stabbed her enemies in the eyes, and cut their head clean from their bodies. Yet no matter how many men she killed, two more took their place. Not that it mattered. She was mowing them down like a tractor and chopping them like a wood chipper. It was gruesome and Yang had a hard time not emptying the content of her stomach on the bald man sitting in front of her. She seriously considered leaving the theater.
"She's escaping!"
After what seemed like the hundredth killed samurai Yang leaned over to whisper in Blake's ear.
"Hey, so um, do you know what's happening right now? Where did all the sex go?" she asked before quickly scolding herself for asking that last question. Sex should have been the last thing on her mind.
The Faunus jumped at Yang's voice. She was too engrossed in the film and had forgotten about the blonde sitting next to her. She frowned.
"What do you mean?"
"She stabbed me! I'm bleeding out!"
"What do you mean 'what do I mean'?"
The Faunus sighed. "You've read the books yes? Why are you surprised?"
"Hiro! NO!"
The brawler blinked twice, then nervously chuckling she replied, "Oh yeah! I read the books, sorta. I just don't remember this part…"
Blake shook then turned back to the screen. "Then just watch. And be quiet." And that was that.
"But…" Yang started, thinking about protesting what they were watching, but she quickly surrendered. The gore fest had ended as the female ninja reached the forest to escape from her failed assignment. Annoyed, Yang stared at the screen.
"Worst movie ever…"
The one hundred and fifty minute movie was surprisingly good. If one were to ignore the more sensual, violent, and illegal aspects of the film. While hard to ignore the sex when it often surprised you in even the most mundane situations in the film, Yang had a lot of respect for the director of the movie and a greater interest in the author of the book series.
"There's nothing I could have done for my love. He was destined to die on that battlefield by my blade."
When Yang wasn't busy berating herself for such a poor choice in a friend's night out that really looked more like a first date she found herself thoroughly entertained by the story on screen.
"His final words were 'I have taught you well to follow your belief lover. I pray for your sake that Mitsuhide fails to kill Oda and Japan becomes unified.'"
This final screen itself was looking to be very touching. The now old, brilliant kunoichi sat among her children on her death bed and recalled the final days of their father's life, when she killed him in an epic final battle to prove her loyalty to Oda, but revealed to her lover that she had become pregnant with his twins.
"Did he say he loved you mother?"
"Yes my son. He said 'I love you and forever will; even when it is your time to join me in the spirit world.'"
Yang sniffed at the final touching words, snot almost hanging from her nose.
"How should we best honor your memory mother?"
The blonde took a tissue and wiped her nose. Turning away from the screen she could barely make out from misty eyes, she took a glance at Blake to find that while she still looked rather indifferent she took had small tears forming at the corner of her eyes. Internally Yang gasped as she smiled at the Faunus. Mentally she cheered herself for a job well done. Indeed Blake had enjoyed the movie.
"Fulfil your own dream my precious children. I have taught you the way of the warrior. Use it well."
The old female ninja finally departed and the credits rolled. Most of the occupants left but Yang and Blake stayed behind to watch until the credits finished, getting a teaser for the next film to be made from the series, one following the tale of the twin brother and sister. When the teaser ended, the duo quickly exited the theater, Yang all smiles and laughing as she re-enacted a funny part from the film.
"And then the old male ninja was like 'I smoke! I smoke all the time!' But then Wukong is like I don't care. So the old man says 'Well, I have a terrible past. For three years now, I've been living with a poor aesthete.' But then Wukong says 'I forgive you.' So all tragically the ninja says 'I can never have children!' and Wukong is like 'We can adopt some.' But the best part is when the ninja tells Wukong he's a man. Because Wukong totally licked his lips and is all like 'Well, nobody's perfect!' I mean, that was a great line, huh!?"
The Faunus merely nodded. Yang awkwardly coughed.
"So, um, Les Ninjas de L'amour was a pretty good movie. Did you enjoy it?"
Blake turned to her companion. "You've never read a book by G. G Southern have you?"
Yang chuckled nervously as she flipped her long hair left over her shoulder to run her fingers through it. Blake quickly deducted it was a nervous habit Yang had developed. "Well to be honest, no. I didn't think it mattered. Besides, I'm a P. D. Eastman type of gal."
Blake frowned. "It was bad of you to lie. Also, P. D. Eastman wrote children's books."
"But he also directed educational screenplays! Okay yeah, I don't like reading much…"the blonde trailed off.
Blake sighed. "Vous êtes vraiment un imbécile perverti…" You really are a perverted idiot.
"You know, I may not know a lot of French, but I know enough to tell you just called me a pervert, and stupid."
"But I'm happy I came", she continued, as if she didn't even hear Yang complain. "I have not gone to a theater since I was a little girl. I did not know much about Vale, but you showed me a little more today." A small honest smile ghosted Blake's face. "Thank you."
The blonde blinked twice, her face stuck between confused expressions before her open mouth was replaced with a cheek splitting grin. "Any time!" she exclaimed. "How about I show you more of Vale, like this totally awesome eatery—"
"I have to go now. Jaune will need help at the restaurant."
"Oh. Well how about—"
"You should read the books. They are entertaining. I will speak to you later."
Standing in front of the theater Yang sighed blissfully, eyes glued on her Faunus companion. Yang watched as Blake sauntered away, watching the way her hips swayed, her heels the only shoes Yang heard clapping against the pavement. When the feline Faunus had turned the corner Yang jumped and pumped her fist in the air, cheering.
Blake had blown off her suggestion at grabbing a bite to eat. But Yang was okay with that. Today, they had a nice outing and Blake had suggested they'd speak again. Not a "Go away" or a "We might meet again" but a definite "I will speak to you later." As in it will happen in the future. Maybe Blake was even looking forward to another conversation; another day or night out. It meant another chance for Yang to worm her way into Blake's heart.
After the seventh leap into the air Yang, in a full sprint, raced down the sidewalk in the opposite direction. She had so many ideas, so many dates but not really dates to make, so many things she wanted to do with Blake. And with her newfound vigor form today's success Yang could hardly keep track of all the ideas she was trying to type on the notepad application on her scroll. Yang was going to put forth ten times the effort at winning Blake over now. But first, she had to stop at the bookstore.