Azumanga und Panzer
Chapter 02
by Technomad
The girls gathered in a café; none of them had enough room in their apartments to have the whole group over at once. Yukari and Miss Tomosawa were sitting in on the discussion, and had brought along some recent Tankery magazines for them to look through.
"Holy Buddha, look at these prices," muttered Yomi. "I can't believe this!"
"How do people afford this?" asked Tomo. "Here's one of the cheapest ones available, an ex-Soviet T-34, for 5,500,000 yen!"
"Let me see," said Miss Tomosawa. They handed her several recent copies of Tankery Today. She began leafing through. "Have you looked through the 'used' ads yet? All the ads you've been looking at are from dealers in new and like-new machines. A used machine is far likelier to be within our budget." Their old school district had had a fund for student activities, and they had found that the money was available to them. On top of contributions from the people of Oorai, who were now inordinately proud of their Tankery team and its dark-horse victories, it came to a respectable sum of money, even if not enough for a brand-new tank.
Sakaki was looking at the most recent copy of Tankery Magazine. "Ah, here we go," she said. "Used and refurbished machines for sale." She pulled out a pen and began circling ads. The other girls got busy, and soon they had a list of places to visit.
Yukari-sensei offered to drive them, but they all politely demurred. Chiyo-chan shivered at the mere thought. Instead, they took the efficient Japanese public transport system. Miss Tomosawa came along as a chaperon, and Captain Chono decided to come along, too. The girls were grateful for the adult support.
The first tank they looked at was an old Russian T-26. The old lady who owned it said that she and her schoolmates had won the 1935 national Tankery competition; she nodded understandingly when Captain Chono said that they'd probably need a newer machine. The tank itself was well-kept-up, but it wouldn't last long against anything newer.
"Don't look so disappointed," said Captain Chono. "Picking a tank is a delicate operation. A woman's intuition tells me that there's more to see before a decision has to be made." They accepted her wisdom, and boarded a bus to their next prospect.
The next machine they saw, they rejected almost immediately. It was a decrepit British Valentine tank, and a few minutes' inspection revealed that it was in no shape to be refurbished in any kind of reasonable time.
"The engine's shot to hell," said Kagura, after a long look into the engine compartment. "Looks like it's missing a bunch of parts."
"Take a look at this gun breech! Yuck!" Yomi called out from inside the turret. "And I can't get this turret to traverse for love nor money!"
"I don't think we'll be wanting this one, Captain Chono," said Sakaki regretfully. Captain Chono shook her head, agreeing. The owners looked disappointed.
"Look, if you want to sell this tank to anybody but a real expert, you'd best put some money into refurbishing it. It's been neglected for a long time. The hull seems to be sound, but it'll take a lot of repair work before it's anywhere near ready to use." Captain Chono's words were polite, but her tone dripped icicles, and the owners wilted visibly.
When they left, Captain Chono was visibly steaming. "Those scum thought they'd pawn that pile of junk off on you, did they?" she snarled. "Well, I'm reporting them to the Tankery Federation, and they might just have some explaining to do!"
"What's next on the list?" asked Chiyo-chan.
"Next on the list?" Captain Chono looked up at the sky, which was visibly darkening. "Next on the list, dear, is for you and your friends to get back to the school ship. We can go on looking tomorrow." A chorus of disappointed noises greeted this statement, and she smiled slightly as she herded her charges on the bus for their new home. She had found that coaching a Tankery team gave her things in common with her sister, who was raising a family; previously, the two sisters had had little to talk about, but now she could relate to her sister's tales of motherhood, and her sister laughed ruefully with her at stories of her charges' various antics.
The next day, at school, Chiyo-chan got some news that crushed her. "What do you mean, I can't do Tankery?" she gasped.
Anzu and her fellow student council members all looked rather shamefaced to have had to deliver the bad news. "We're sorry. The law says that no one under the age of fifteen can participate. We recognize that you're a very special case in a lot of ways, but we can't make you big enough or strong enough to participate safely."
Chiyo-chan's eyes welled with tears, but she managed to produce a polite farewell and a bow before rushing out of the room. As she left, the council members could hear the first sob. Anzu looked at the others, who all looked very unhappy.
"I don't know about you, but I feel like an absolute heel, having to do that to that lovely, brilliant, bright little girl," she remarked. The others nodded.
The first the Azu group knew about it was when Chiyo-chan burst in on them at lunch and threw herself on Sakaki, sobbing. Reflexively, Sakaki put her arms around their little friend, murmuring soothingly to her. When Chiyo-chan was unhappy, Sakaki was usually the first person she turned to.
"Oh, dear, what ever in the world's wrong, honeybunch?" asked Osaka. The other girls gathered around, even Tomo. Tomo sometimes enjoyed tormenting Chiyo-chan, but when it was important business, she knew enough to snap to.
When Chiyo-chan choked out the news from within the safe shelter of Sakaki's arms, the other girls looked at each other. Then Yomi spoke up. "Maybe we can get Yukari-sensei to talk to them?"
"That's a wonderful idea! An' we can get Captain Chono too!" Osaka's idea met with general approval, and the girls left lunch early to go find their teachers.
Unfortunately, neither their teachers nor Captain Chono could do anything. "It's a matter of size and strength, dears," said Captain Chono, as Yukari-sensei and Miss Tomosawa nodded ruefully. "The Tankery rules were written with the idea that girls that age wouldn't be in schools where the sport was practiced. They weren't expecting a special case like Chiyo-chan."
"Don't feel bad," said Kagura, seeing Chiyo-chan's eyes well up with tears. "We can't take you on the tanks, but you can be our intel person. Study up on the teams we'll be up against, and give us ideas on how they can best be beaten."
"Yeah," said Osaka. "You can be the brains of our team!"
Chiyo-chan perked up, and didn't notice the looks some of the other girls were giving each other. Plain as day they said: Chiyo-chan can be the brains of our team, because Osaka sure as hell isn't going to be! None of them said it out loud, though. Osaka was a space-case in a lot of ways, but she was their space-case, and they'd already warned some of the other girls about making mean comments about her Osakan accent or the strange things she sometimes did. Being uprooted and planted as a group in a new school had forged them into a tight team.
The next day was a Saturday, and they had several more tanks to look at, so they got together at a nearby eatery that catered to Tankery fans. Over snacks, they figured out which route they would take to look at the tanks they wanted to see, and called ahead on their cells to make sure that the owners were available to talk to them.
The first one they saw was an American M-3 Stuart. Yomi and Tono were rather taken by it, but Sakaki, Osaka and Captain Chono weren't so sure.
"Ain't it awfully light?" asked Osaka. "Ah ain't sure about getting into any tank contest with somethin' that small and lightly armored. Not with mah own precious skin on the other side of that armor, Ah ain't!"
"Even for a tank, it's cramped," Sakaki said. "I'd be kind of uncomfortable aboard it."
Captain Chono looked thoughtful. "We may be back. We've several other tanks to look at today, though." When they were on their way to their next prospect, she said: "That tank might not be a bad choice. It's well-kept-up, the price is reasonable, and on the whole, it's not a bad tank at all for learners. However, the main gun is awfully light."
When they got to the next place they were greeted by a man who looked familiar. When they heard his name, the girls' eyes went wide. Kimura was a fairly common name, but still…
"Do you have a relative who teaches?" asked Yomi.
"Sure do! Matter of fact, he taught in you girls' school before the disaster! He was always the scholarly one of us." Sakaki gave the others a significant glance. Hope this guy isn't the lecher his brother is! it said, clear as day.
Mr. Kimura led them around to a garage where a large machine was sitting under a tarp. When he pulled the tarp off, the girls' eyes all went wide. Mr. Kimura smiled proudly. "Only one previous owner since the Soviets sold it! My sister was a Tankery champion in her day, and she kept this baby up like it's straight from the factory!"
"What is it?" asked Osaka. "It don't have no turret!"
"It's a SU-100 tank destroyer, dear," said Captain Chono. She slowly walked forward, running her hand gently over the side of the tank. "And it looks to be in near-mint condition!"
The girls crawled all over the mighty machine, examining everything. "The gun breech is sparkling clean, and oiled so that it opens and shuts very easily!" reported Yomi.
"This here engine looks like it's brand-spankin' new!" called out Osaka, who was head-over-heels in the engine compartment. "Ah cain't find one thing wrong so far!"
"The tracks are in good shape, and barely worn!" said Sakaki. She popped the main hatch and disappeared inside. "And there's room for four of us here, easily. The electronics look to be in good shape, from what I can tell."
When the girls had finished their inspection, and found nothing wrong with the machine, Mr. Kimura got in and fired up the engine. The big 12-cylinder diesel roared to life the first time he tried, and Captain Chono listened to it critically. The engine sounded very smooth, and she smiled.
When Mr. Kimura climbed out, she called the girls over for a quick talk. "I think this may be the machine we really want, girls. Do you mind if I do the talking? You've never bought a tank before."
Sakaki looked at the other girls, saw that they were okay with that, and nodded, giving Captain Chono the go-ahead. Captain Chono gave Sakaki a long look. We have real leadership potential here behind that quiet exterior, she thought. Perhaps after she's older, I can point her in the direction of the Self-Defense Forces' officer-candidate school?
Captain Chono turned to Mr. Kimura. "Very well. How much are you asking for her?" When she heard the price, her eyes went very wide. The girls could also hear, and they gasped in wonder.
"I…I think that's quite acceptable," Captain Chono stammered. "Can you deliver it to the Oorai school ship? Right now, it's moored in Oorai." Mr. Kimura nodded, and they made arrangements for payment and delivery.
As they left, Mr. Kimura gestured Captain Chono aside. "You may be wondering why I made them such a good price, Captain." Captain Chono nodded. "Well…for one thing, I don't have any use for it, and it's just taking up space. For two things, my brother told me you might be around, and he wants your group to do really well in Tankery. I lowered the price I might normally ask, since he asked it of me and I owe him some big favors."
On the way back to the school ship, Captain Chono was reassessing the lecherous Classical Japanese teacher her proteges had told her about. He was apparently a man of hidden depths, and not all his liking for high school girls was necessarily shameful.
END Chapter 02