After another hour talking with Marinette, Chat Noir bid his goodbye for the night with a smile and a promise to return soon before he bounded home. The green light of his transformation faded as soon as he landed face-down in his pillows.
Adrien then took the deepest breath he could and yelled, kicking his legs against the bed. Plagg floated to sit on his headboard, looking half-lidded at the boy
"Great job out there, Adrien. I give the delivery a four and the recovery an eight."
The kwami snickered and Adrien looked up only to glare before groaning and plopping his face back down, sigh muffled by the pillow. There was a new feeling in the pit of his stomach, almost like excitement but not as kind, and it wouldn't go away.
"Look at it this way, this is one of the best outcomes of your blunder."
Adrien flipped over, hugging the pillow to his chest. His eyes almost crossed as he looked up at Plagg. He sighed, brows furrowing together.
"I know. It's like I have the chance to figure out the perfect way to confess to her but it feels too sneaky. Like I'm going completely behind her back and not even in the whole 'I'm Chat Noir and Adrien Agreste' way. It feels…worse. Like I'm being so selfish." The kwami made a low sound of agreement before floating to Adrien's desk.
"Ow!" A piece of paper fluttered onto Adrien's face followed by a pen nailing him in the forehead. He glared at the black cat who just made a 'shoo' motion at him before returning to the desk to finish the last few wedges of cheese in the container.
"Come on, it's time to fix your mistake. Think of something to bring tomorrow to the girl. Your excuses are already half-baked, no need to skip putting your feelings in the oven either."
"Tikki, what did I just agree to?!"
Marinette locked the hatch to the roof and proceeded to flop onto her bed. She stared at the ceiling, trying to find shapes – anything – to try and take her mind off of what just happened.
She groaned and covered her eyes with an arm. "First he's upset and I try to comfort him, then he goes and says…" Taking a peek above her, Tikki was floating above. She covered her eyes again and sighs. "And then I panic and shove him off the railing. Aren't I the greatest partner and friend ever." She turned and curled up tightly, hugging herself.
Tikki landed next to Marinette's face and patted her softly, looking into the girl's eyes. "Marinette, you're shaking. There's something else, isn't there?"
Blue eyes squeezed shut for a moment, before opening just a crack, hidden by her lashes. Her heart felt heavy and a chill spread in her body. Lips tried to form words, then stopped. She let out a breath of air before grabbing the edge of her blanket and rolled herself up in it, Tikki moving out of the way. Only her eyes were visible, now looking down at her mattress.
"That confession wasn't for me." She finally muttered, partly muffled by the fabric. Her companion blinked at her, confused.
"Chat loves Ladybug." That much was true, as much as she wanted to avoid it.
"Chat now likes someone else." She didn't even bother to get any details on whom. In that moment, it wouldn't have helped her keep it together.
"We became so close as me. Chat never grew to like me." Her voice was wavering dangerously.
Tikki's eyes widened. "Oh Marinette," she flew up to the girl's head, petting her hair and shooshing softly. But Marinette was trembling. Her Ladybug strength had left her, and the tears and whimpers fought free from her control.
"I know," she breathed. "I know I don't feel the same to him but-" a heavy sob interrupted her. "He loves L-ladybug, but he didn't fall for the rest of me. The r-real me." And it hurt her more than she could have predicted. The thoughts were always there in the back of her mind, but just a shadow of a confirmation...
How was it possible that the alter ego so greatly overshadowed the original? She was Ladybug, but Ladybug wasn't her. For a hero of luck, she felt devoid of any.
It took an hour for Marinette to unravel herself and move to her desk to finish the homework that Chat interrupted. She also had to plan carefully, since tomorrow was patrol night and she had to stay calm with Chat as Ladybug and make it back without him noticing. The rest…who knows what Chat would bring to tomorrow night's meeting.
"I have to stop feeling so selfish." The pencil paused in her hand. Something like resolution filled her, but it didn't make the lingering feelings disappear. "Like it or not, Chat asked for my help. And I have to support him, no matter what. That's what partners are for."
Tikki nodded from the plate of cookies on the desk. She knew her charge still wasn't feeling much better, but there wasn't much comforting that can be done without seeing what happens next.