CHAPTER THREE

He catches up with me outside and steers my steps to his SUV. It feels weird climbing into it. It just reminds me of how much things have changed. Jakes and motorcycle just went hand in hand back in the day. Oh well.

I wait for him to speak because I'll be damned if I'm going to first.

"What are you so pissed about?" Damn it.

He stares at me as he starts the engine but he doesn't speak. His damn eyes are so cold I shiver.

"Jase, what's wrong?" I try again feeling something bordering on desperation boiling in my stomach. He's been mad at me a thousand times but this is…different.

He stomps on the gas and just like that we're racing down the street then onto the freeway. He doesn't speak to me. I try to get him to talk but all I get is this damn silence and the sight of the muscle in his jaw jumping.

We come to a screeching halt and he shuts down the engine and climbs out without saying a word to me. I follow him into the unfamiliar house slowly. Jason would never hurt me, I know that, but then again I never thought I'd get the death glare either.

He's pacing when I enter. I perch on arm of the couch and just watch him. He's muttering to himself which is also unlike Jason. Bridge of nose pinches, headaches, and exasperated sighs; that's the Jason I know and love.

I can't take it anymore. I walk behind him and touch his back lightly. His entire body hardens under my touch. "Jase…talk to me."

"Talk to you?" He turns towards me and I see it. Jason is fighting mad. His eyes are shooting sparks and there is heat radiating from his skin. "What good does talking to you do huh? You will always do what you want to do and I will always come to the rescue. It's just who you are. It's who I am."

"So what's the problem?" I try to joke and lighten the mood but it falls flat.

He looks ready to rip my head off my shoulders. "The problem is it doesn't STOP. What happens when I can't come to the rescue Carly? What happens if…"

"You'll always save me Jase." I whisper looking down at my hands.

That did it. He explodes. "Like I was able to save Michael? Like I save Jake by giving him up? Like I save Morgan by staying away from him? Is that how I'm going to save you Carly? Cause if I thought walking away from you would save you I'd do it in a heartbeat but I know it won't. You'll still run head long into trouble and the only thing that would change is I wouldn't know in time to rescue you. I asked you to do ONE thing. Stay away from Karpov. That's all I asked you to do!"

"I didn't invite him to Jake's." I scream back at him. "He just showed up. What was I supposed to do? Tase him?"

He throws his hands in the air. "Walk away. How hard is it to walk away?"

"I don't know. Why don't you tell me? You're good at it." I shoot at him nastily.

He takes a step forward and I take one back. Like I said…I don't think Jason would ever lay a hand on me but I've been wrong before. Better safe than sorry.

He invades my space so we're nose to nose. "If I'm good at it it's because of you."

"Because of me?" I glare at him. "I have never walked away from you."

He laughs and it's dark. "No, you just made sure you did the one thing that would force me too."

"Hold up!" Any other day I would've been filled with guilt at the betrayal I caused when I slept with Sonny all those years ago but today? Pffft. "I messed up big time but you chose to walk away. I didn't force you. I turned stalker trying to get you to forgive me but then I gave you space and you left. I didn't even KNOW you were leaving."

"How could I stay?" He shouts. "You chose the one thing you knew would hurt me and you pulled the trigger. You killed me Carly."

I shove him. I can't help it. He's just too damn close and…too damn close. I know I killed him. Not Robin, hell not even Sonny, it was me. The person he trusted with his life. The person he trusted to have his back. The person he couldn't trust with his heart.

He grabs my wrists and pins me to the wall. "Look at me. Look at what you did!" His face is open for the first time in years and I see it. I see it all. Everything he's been trying to hide from me all these years.

I try to turn away from it but he won't let me. He makes me see it all in those gorgeous, furious, baby blue eyes. My blond-haired blue-eyed original is still…broken.

He lets my arms drop but we never break eye contact. He reaches out to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear and I catch his hand before he can make contact. Much as I love Jason, I don't want him to touch me right now. Much as I love Jason…I'm monumentally pissed off at him.

"You fucking coward." I hiss at him as I take a step forward. Now he's the one taking a step back. "Years Jason; you've made us waste YEARS! For what?"

He stops backing up and looks at me with pure disbelief. "Years I've made us waste? You were the one so fucking in love with my best friend Carly. You were the one walking around trying to have babies for everybody but…" He bites it off and winces when he realizes what he said.

"For everybody but who? You?" I smile saucily. "Is that the problem Jason? You mad Sonny and Jax got a shot at what you wanted for yourself but was too chicken shit to tell me? Well I'm right here baby. Take your best shot." I give him my best sex face.

My buttons hit the floor with distinct pings. How he managed to rip my shirt and bra off at the same time I will never know but he did it. I stand up straighter in front of him exposed from the waist up. I'm not modest. I never have been.

I'm not ready. I thought I was ready but I'm NOT ready. I've dreamed of sex with Jason. I remember every freaking detail of his body, touch, and taste. I've fiend for it like a crack head for years but I'm NOT ready. I dared him cause well…I always hit on him. I never thought he'd go for it but the wicked grin on Jason's face when he looks at my body tells me I'm in for a world of trouble.