Despite Loki's expectations, Ylva didn't cry for long. The woman stood up, brushed a few times over her dress and took a deep breath.

"If you don't lock me up, I will do it myself" she said with a calm voice. She seemed as composed as always, and Loki needed a moment to process her sudden change.

"I command you not to" he said, but his mind was elsewhere.

"Ylva, how are you feeling?" he asked, and Ylva shrugged, her hazel eyes empty and absent.

"I'm not hurt" she said, but Loki grabbed her shoulders and turned her so that she had to face him.

"How are you feeling?" he asked again, his green eyes staring into hers, trying to read her mind.

"I feel awful. I feel like someone who has just beaten two innocent girls. What do you want me to do, Loki? Cry, sit here like a baby? It won't change anything. You need to protect the others from me, at least until I figured out how to oppress that thing inside me" Ylva said between clenched teeth.

She watched the small line appear between Loki's eyes on his forehead.

Ylva was thankful for everything he was doing for her. But just like her father, he couldn't be inside her head when the wolf took over. She had to do this alone.

"Stay in my quarters, Ylva. At least you will be comfortable. Let me take care of everything else" Loki offered, passing a hair through his black hair. He really seemed affected, not as cool and distanced as usual.

A few minutes later, Loki and Ylva were in his chambers. Loki had cloaked them with a spell, and hopefully Kari had brought the twins to the infirmary without raising too many questions.

"The twins will start to remember, the spell only lasts a few days" Loki explained, watching Ylva take off her bloodied dress. She didn't blush or turn away, she simply stood in her undergarments before him.

"You will probably not like it, but I should kill the twins" Loki said casually, grinning mischievously. The girls seemed to be annoying anyways.

"No" Ylva exclaimed, "No, Loki"

"I will find a solution" she promised, although she had no idea what to do.

"And Kari?" Loki sank down on his chair, sighing. He would not enjoy killing Kari as much as the horrible twins, but if it could keep Ylva safe…

"Loki, I made a mistake. But you can't fix it by just making a bigger one" Ylva combed her dark brown hair.

"I will talk to Kari. She will understand it" Ylva said, not sure if she was believing her own words.

She exhaled and suddenly stopped in her movements. Loki noticed her lower lip was slightly shaking as raised her eyes, looking him straight into his own.

"Thank you, Loki. For all you have done. I am in your debt" she said solemnly.

Loki watched the young woman in front of him. Bloodied, in her undergarments, wild hair, high cheekbones and hazel eyes. Yet the honesty in her words touched him more than anything prettier girls and noble women had ever said to him.

For a moment, his silver tongue was unable to reply.

Ylva stepped on her toes and reached up to plan a kiss on his cheek, an action so full of innocent affection Loki had to fight back tears.

"You should rest now" Loki muttered and changed into a comfortable green tunic and linen pants with a snap of his fingers.

Ylva raised her eyerbrows in question.

"You are sleeping here tonight, Ylva. You can not stay alone" Loki commanded softly,

"Why? I will stay locked, I promise" Ylva was unsure of the meaning of his words. Loki's green eyes suddenly had a look of sadness in them, and he looked younger, vulnerable.

He stroke over his black hair and sighed. Ylva waited for him to find the right words.

"I tried to destroy Jutonheim with the hope it would make my father see that I am the better King, and that he would be proud. I was dedicated to my mission, Ylva.

Thor defied me, and all my plans shattered into peaces. I was torn between the anger for the injustice that I have suffered from my whole life and the regret I felt, the painful knowledge that everything I had done led to my own downfall.

Odin tried to save me when I hang over the Abyss, and when I told him I did it all for Asgard, for him, for all of us - "

Loki's voice broke off, and Ylva hugged him. He stiffened in her arms, unsure how to react, but Ylva ignored it. She had no right answer for his heart-breaking story than to show him how much she suffered with him.

"He said no. With that, he said it all. I was a monster, the abomination, the one that disappointed him again, I was the lesser son, and in that moment, I let go. I let go, Ylva, believing I was falling into my death"

Loki ended in a raspy voice, and answered the hug by pressing his arms around the smaller woman. He blinked back the tears in his eyes.

"I know how it feels to be so angry you think you can't bare it anymore"
Loki whispered, and let her go so that he could cup her face and stare into her warm eyes.

"Do not give up on yourself, little wolf, not like I did"

Ylva nodded. "I promise I won't. And you have to make the promise to me too. I need you, Loki, I need you to help me through this"

Ylva's eyes swelled with tears, and she looked down so that he wouldn't see it.

"I am sorry for what was done to you. I do not want to defend Odin, but I think he loved you. Just like my own father, he thought lying to you would be for your best. Maybe… the Allfather didn't know how to tell you how much he loved you. To warriors like Thor and Odin, feelings are hard to express. They consider it a weakness"

Loki pressed his lips together in a thin line. "You may be right, but I can never forgive him"

"One day perhaps" Ylva said with an encouraging smile. There was no point in pressuring him anyways, and Loki raised his eyebrows at her.

"Did you forgive your father?" he asked, his words soft and carefully placed.

Ylva thought for a moment. Her father had send her away to the palace without telling her about the wolf blood, but in his mind, he was protecting her from turning. She could forgive him that.

Bard Birgersson on the other side was another story. Her father was a murderer. But could she judge after what she had done this day?
If Ylva was built like her father, strong and muscular, she would have killed Ana and Astrid.

Only Kari and Loki had prevented more from happening, and the guilt was already weighing heavy on Ylva.

"I do" she said, and Loki nodded slowly.

"You have a good heart, Ylva" he said and kissed her softly on her forehead.

"You should take that bath, though" he chuckled, and Ylva nodded thankfully.

I'm sorry this chapter has taken me so long! I had planned something different and then changed it completely after I saw Thor 2 again :D It's basically just Loki talking about his feelings :D

I'll post the next chapter tomorrow to make up for the long wait!
Have a nice day :)

xoxo & Liebe Grüße