A/N: Morning! Did you see the lovely banner Mina made me? I love it so much.

"Do you ever feel like you're thirteen years old, being driven to your dates?" Emmett asked.

Edward snorted, looking over at his bodyguard and brother-in-law. "Have you seen my school photos from when I was thirteen? No one wanted to date that."

"Rosalie told me she sees you all the time on those stupid lists. 'Celebrities Who Kicked Puberty's Ass,' or whatever."

"I wouldn't put it past Rosalie to leak those to the press. That's one of the hidden downsides of being a celebrity, you know. Siblings are going to get nasty. That's what siblings do, but when you're famous, the way they get nasty is they become an anonymous source for one of the tabs." Edward grimaced. "She probably got paid to betray me."

"You know Rosalie wouldn't do that right?"

"Ha. I know you're married to her now, but I've still known her longer than you. And she's not here. You don't need to blow sunshine up her ass. I won't tell." Edward rubbed at his head.

"Still feeling out of it?" Emmett asked.

"I'll be okay."

"That's not what I asked."

"Sure, I'm a little woozy. That's why you're driving."

"Settle down, diva."

Edward chuckled. He closed his eyes, resting his head against the back of the headrest. "So how's Jasper doing with Gianna?"

"The job's easy. I mean, she doesn't give him much trouble." He clucked his tongue, his expression tight. "Poor girl is in over her head, isn't she? Then again, those letters would unnerve me. They do unnerve me." He waved a hand. "Anyway. Jasper isn't taking any chances with her."

"I know what that means," Edward said, and he grimaced. "You know, you're going to push her deeper into a state of paranoia if you make every outing a production. You're going to turn her into a hermit."

"Better safe than sorry."

"Grudgingly agreed." Edward crossed his arms over his chest. They were almost to the restaurant. It was habit to scan the road and sidewalk for paps. "I convinced her to take this job. It sucks she's having to jump through hoops. This isn't what she wanted."

"It's not what any of you want," Emmett said.

Staring out the window, it took Edward a minute to realize Emmett had stopped talking. That was unusual. He looked over to find his brother-in-law's brow furrowed in concentration. "What is it?"

"Nothing really. It's just that I think we might have missed something obvious."

"Such as?"

Emmett glanced at him. "This asshat sending letters to Gianna… All the letters mention you. Her, or his, obsession is about you, not her." He rubbed a hand across his chin before returning it to the wheel. "I'm thinking we might be watching the wrong person."

Edward groaned. "Oh no. Don't start with that. I'm fine. I'll be fine. I don't need a babysitter."

"I'm going to start a risk assessment."

"Fuck." Edward banged his head back against the headrest.

"Stop crying about it." He punched his fist lightly against the steering wheel. "Man. We're already behind. If we did miss something in the fanmail, we're going to have to check for consistencies in the writing. You haven't gotten anything that might have come off as a little threatening?"

"I get threatening letters all the time. You know that."

"I mean like Gianna is getting-just a little too personal."

Edward hesitated a second too long before he answered, and Emmett made a disgruntled noise. "You're supposed to tell me when anything, any little thing, is the slightest bit off. Work with me here, Edward. If you die on my watch, no one is going to hire me again."

"Will you give me a break? I'm not the President. No one is going to murder me; I'm not that important."

"You remember that fan who tried to kill President Reagan to impress Jodie Foster?"

"Obama has people for that, Emmett. They've got it covered."

"Yeah, but if I stopped something like that, Obama might hire me. Then I wouldn't be stuck driving your dumb ass around when I could be giving it to your sister."

Edward threw his hands up. "Whoa. Hey. These are images I don't need in my head, thanks."

Emmett snickered. "Presidential assassination aside, that's the real reason I can't let you die. People who are snot-sobbing over their dead brother aren't usually in the mood for sex."

"Everyone knows funeral sex is the hottest after make-up sex."

"I'd prefer not to test that theory. Now tell me about the letters."

"After my date." Edward reached for the door handle, ready to get out.

Emmett locked the doors and stared. "I could kick your ass on a good day, and you're crippled today. Answer me."

"They're not disturbing. Not in the same way as the ones Gianna gets. They talk about her though, and now that I think about it, with the one Gianna showed me, it sounds like part of the same conversation."

"And you didn't think this was important?"

Edward shrugged. "It's nothing I haven't heard. You know how many of them think they know me. A lot of them talk like we're best friends. Those letters did stick out though. They're in my nightstand."

"I'll swing by and get them while you eat," Emmett said. He unlocked the door. "You need an escort?"

Edward got out of the car carefully, hopping a bit to keep weight off his injured foot. "I think I'll manage."

"Uh huh. Well, I'm not paid to keep you safe from yourself, so have fun. Don't stay out too late."

Glad Emmett wasn't going to insist on coming with him, Edward got his crutches out of the back of the car before he could change his mind. He waved and headed toward the back door of the restaurant where the manager was waiting.

"So nice to see you again, Edward," he said, shaking his hand.

"Thank you. Is my friend here?"

"Yes, sir."

Edward grimaced. He'd hoped to get there before Bella so as to not look like such a gimp, but whatever. It wasn't as though she hadn't seen him much worse off the day before. Mustering what dignity he could, he followed the manager to his usual table.

It was an Indian restaurant. The lighting was dim, which was a plus as far as Edward was concerned. It was one thing to evade the paps getting somewhere. What usually happened was some excited patron got on the social media horn. Edward glanced around and grimaced at how many phones he saw out. No one was looking his way yet, but the crutches were attention grabbers to say the least.

His attention shifted as soon as he was seated across from Bella. It looked as though she had stepped right off a movie set. Her hair was styled for her role as the main character-her long brown hair done wild and windblown. It was sexy except that she also seemed bone tired. Her smile was genuine as he sat.

"You haven't had a good day," he said, not asking.

"It was fine." She made an effort to sit up straighter. "They told me to be on set at four this morning."

Edward balked. "That's heinous. What for?"

"Well, I can't really blame them because this was technically my fault." She gestured at his leg. "They had to shuffle the shooting schedule, so we-Alec and I-had to do a stunt we weren't supposed to do for another week and a half. We needed the practice."

"That doesn't sound safe."

Bella waved a hand, but then she winced. Seeing the look on his face, she rolled her eyes and shrugged out of her light jacket. Underneath, she wore a sleeveless shirt that showed off her arms. More specifically, it showed off the horrendous bruise up close to her shoulder. "Took us a bit to get it right, but we were fine. I got a bruise on my ass about the same size. If you were looking for any comeuppance for what I did to you yesterday, I'd say you got it. "

Edward hissed in sympathy. "And you just came from the set too, didn't you?"

She touched her hair, her smile sardonic. "However could you tell? Yeah, I just changed and wiped all the blood off."

It was just past eight. "Bella, I would have understood if you canceled on me. After a day like that, you must be exhausted."

"This is nothing. I've had worse. Besides, I'm starving. I haven't eaten all day, and I haven't had Indian food in months." She flashed him a grin. "My body isn't as valuable as yours. I'm used to working while wounded."

Edward tsked at her. "First, you throw me down the stairs, and then you call me a wuss. I don't know about you, Bella. You're abusive is what you are."

"Stating facts, Mr. Cullen, doesn't make me an asshole."

"Mmhmm."

The waiter came. Seeing the hungry look in Bella's eyes, Edward left it to her to order for both of them. He was amused when she ordered half the menu.

"My eyes are bigger than my stomach," she said, looking somewhat sheepish.

"You know, the craft service is excellent on this production. They're really good at keeping the table stocked."

"I wasn't too hungry when we broke for lunch. Other than that, it was a really grueling day." She tilted her head, looking at him. "I'm in the doghouse, you know." The skin around her eyes tightened. "I could have killed you."

"The marble floor wasn't made of marble."

"You could have broken your neck."

"It was an accident. Technically speaking, I could break my neck at any given moment, tripping over my own two feet."

She glanced at him from under her eyelashes. "You really aren't angry?"

"I'm letting you take me out on this pity date, aren't I? Would I do this if I was angry?"

"It's not a pity date."

"What are the odds of me getting a good night kiss?"

"Negative forty-three."

"See? Pity date."

She made an exasperated noise. "It's not a pity date."

"Okay. Then you'll let me pay for dinner."

At that she narrowed her eyes. "What does paying for dinner prove?"

"Nothing. I just feel bad now that I asked your boss to fire you."

Bella snickered. "Oh, stud. While I have no doubt you have the power to get me fired, the order would have had to come from someone much higher up than my boss."

"You think so?"

"Considering my boss is my father, yeah, I'm pretty sure of that fact." She bit off a corner of naan, staring at him serenely as she chewed.

"See, you have me at a disadvantage. It occurred to me last night you had that whole spiel about what the crazy fans know about me, but that means that you know it too." He leaned his elbows on the table and propped his chin on his hands. "I don't know, Bella. It almost sounds like you're a super-fan."

"Oh, yeah. I'm vice-president of your fan club," she said, her voice wry though he could see her cheeks burning even in the dim light. "Or maybe, when you have a job like mine, it becomes part of your routine to look up pertinent interviews and embarrassing Internet memes."

Edward grimaced. "That means you've seen the one…"

"With the face? Oh yeah, stud. Very sexy."

"Like I was saying, you have me at a disadvantage. You know so much about me, and I know next to nothing about you except that you like to throw men down stairs."

"You're a terrible person."

"Yes. Yes," Edward said, waving a hand as though to dismiss this as unimportant. "Your father is Charlie Swan then? I should have put two and two together. He's doing excellent work."

"To be honest, I'm surprised you know his name."

"One of the reasons I always jump at the chance to do action movies is the stunts. It's tedious work, but since I only get to do the most basic stuff, I like watching you all work. I was bullied into taking it easy today. That's the only reason I wasn't there to watch you and Alec work."

Edward took a bite of naan and chewed, thinking a moment. "So you said your mother enjoyed chasing something larger than life. She was taken in by the glamour of your father's job, I take it?"

"Ah, yeah. My job is so glamorous."

"Well, you have to admit what you do is impressive," he said, looking into her eyes.

She ducked her head with just a hint of shyness. "I, um… Yeah. She saw him do an insane stunt involving a truck and fire. She was-"

"Dazzled?" Edward grinned at her. "I can't say I blame her." He hesitated a moment before he asked the next question. "Is that why you're jaded about dating?"

Her head snapped up, and her eyes narrowed. "Why is it when someone, particularly a woman, isn't desperate to date, they're jaded? I'm not jaded. Love and dating-that all sounds like fun, sure. I'll even admit to enjoying a nice romantic comedy, but it's not the only thing out there." She shrugged and winced. "It's just not at the top of my list of desires. I have other shit to do, my friend. I have a demanding job and a lust for travel."

"No time for love, Dr. Jones." Edward offered her an apologetic smile. "I didn't mean to offend you."

"You didn't, really. It just gets old in general. My friends who aren't in the business don't understand why I'm not jumping every actor I can get my hands on. And of course, no one understands why I don't date."

"I can relate to that. I'm not very serious about dating. I think it would be nice to have a family; someone to come home too, but it's not a necessity. I don't feel less without it. If I'm intrigued by someone, I find a way to spend more time with them." He looked up at her. "I hope that's not insulting to say."

"Hey, man. There are a lot worse things than being considered intriguing."

The rest of dinner went smoothly. It turned into dessert and the offer of drinks, because Edward wasn't done talking to her yet.

Bella sighed. "I would. I really would, but tomorrow is going to be another long day of getting my ass kicked. I have another four a.m. call time."

"So your father is the one punishing you for trying to kill me?"

She smirked. "No. The director is the one who decided those particular stunts were the easiest to shoot without having you around. My dad is just trying to make sure I don't get hurt." She rolled her sore shoulder. "You know-worse than expected."

"Right." Edward got to his feet. "Shall we?"

"The bill hasn't come, and I hardly think you're going to dine and dash on those," she said, indicating his crutches.

"I already took care of the bill."

It was worth the look of startlement on her face. "What? When?"

"I'm a very sneaky person." He bobbed his head in an 'okay, okay' gesture. "They know me here. I have a running tab."

"Sneaky, Cullen. May be part of your ploy. If I owe you dinner, I'll have to agree to another date."

He chuckled and reached out to touch her shoulder. "It's not a contest, Swan. This has been one of the most intriguing nights I've had recently. I hope it hasn't been too much of a chore for you."

"Oh, well. You know, I've done many more unpleasant things in my life." Her eyes sparkled with mirth.

"Glad to hear it. Where are you parked?"

"Ah, I'm not. I got a ride here because that was the only way I was going to have time to wipe off all that bloody makeup." She reached for her purse, shouldering it. "I'll get a cab."

"My brother-in-law is picking me up. It'd be no problem to drop you off, if you'd like."

Bella hesitated a moment, and Edward had to smile. "If you're worried I can't keep my hands to myself, you know Emmett is also a bodyguard. He'll protect you."

She rolled her eyes but smiled. "I can kick your ass myself if you get handsy. I just don't want you to get the wrong idea. That's all."

"You've been very clear about what you want and don't want."

"Yes, but you know as well as I do, for some guys clear isn't enough."

"Very true, but I'm not one of those guys."

Her smile then was gentle. "I believe that. Okay, if it's really okay with you and Emmett, I'd love a ride."

"He'll be fine with it. You need to be properly vetted, anyway." He winked to let her know he was kidding.

"My, my, my. Aren't we full of self-importance today?"

They made their way out the back entrance, Edward stopping to tell the manager everything had been delicious as per usual. As they stepped outside, Edward tripped and would have fallen except that Bella grabbed him by the arm, keeping him steady.

"It's not as easy as it looks to walk on crutches," he said, glaring at the offending devices.

"I'm aware." She looked at him as though considering her next words. "I can carry you, if you want."

He quirked an eyebrow. "Sure you can."

"You want to test me, old man?"

"Ow. For such a small thing, you have some sharp spikes, don't you? I'm only thirty-four."

She grinned at him. "I know, but you're always saying things like 'at your age' when you talk to me. It makes you sound ancient. Which makes me wonder."

"What do you wonder?"

"Why you hit on me in the first place. Is it the Hollywood thing? You know, the leading lady is fifteen years younger than the leading man."

"Twelve. I'm twelve years older than you." He had to laugh. "And no. Since you know all about me, you probably already know that the women I've dated with any degree of seriousness were my age if not older."

"Mhmm, and the ones that fall into the not serious category?" Bella waved her hand. "Never mind. Back to the original point-I can carry you easily.

He looked at her, his eyes sweeping over her petite frame. She quirked an eyebrow, and without further comment, knocked him right off his crutches, up into her arms.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Edward scrambled, his arms around her neck. It was awkward-he didn't fit in her arms like she would have in his-but she wasn't struggling all that much to lift him either. She laughed, the sound somewhat breathless, and carried him several steps before she set him down.

Which, of course, was right when Emmett pulled up.

"There's no way you didn't see that, right?" As though Edward had to ask. Emmett was staring at him out the window with a grin like the cat that ate the canary.

Instead of answering him, Emmett looked to Bella. "Hello, Bella-girl. Thank you for that. Really."

"Nice to meet you," Bella said as she climbed into the back of the car.

"Bella's place, Emmett." Edward said after introductions had been made and hands shook. "It's in Los Feliz."

Emmett looked over at Edward and waggled his eyebrows. "Am I dropping you off?"

"Bella. We're dropping Bella off."

"I see."

Edward had to resist the urge to roll his eyes. Tonight had given Emmett way too much ammunition.

Then again, Edward reflected as he listened to Bella aim some of her snark at Emmett, it was well worth it.

A/N: I love Femme Malheurese, songster, barburella, MoH, and Packy 2.0. Love these girls.

How are we doing folks? By the by, I did start that group. You can find me under LyricalKris :).