A/N: Good morning, cats and kittens!

It was a brutal and frustrating day on set. The director was driving Edward nuts. He kept changing his mind about how he wanted to shoot a particular scene. Normally, Edward was patient with such things. Directors were the gods of the movie set, and he respected the artform. Today, though, he was annoyed.

The scene they kept having to redo was physically taxing. Edward wasn't a Hollywood beefcake, but he had well-defined muscles. He was in shape. By three o'clock, he was beat.

Edward bit the inside of his cheek when the director changed the angle of the shot for the third time that day. It took most of his waning willpower not to yell at the man. Instead, he trudged to his chair and groped for his phone to distract him from his aching muscles.

"Can I tell you a secret?" Gianna asked, throwing herself down into her chair.

"What's that?"

She leaned all the way over-the chair set aside for her love interest was between them-so she could whisper. "The organization on this picture leaves something to be desired."

Edward couldn't have agreed more, but he also couldn't resist teasing her. "If there's an anonymous source in the tabs next week talking about what a hard-to-please diva you are, it wasn't me, okay?"

Her eyes went wide for a second before she realized he was joking. "I know I haven't been on as many sets as you, but doesn't the director usually have his shots planned out before he shoots them? This is a fantastic waste of money."

"Yes, well. He never has been very good about staying on budget." He wiped a hand over his eyes. "I've been on more miserable sets, believe me. Some of the outdoor shoots are the worst. Horrible weather. Windy conditions. Sudden rain storms. A freak snow storm once. Then you might have the perfect shot ruined by a loud plane or a train whistle?" He shrugged. "There are a lot of frustrations in this business."

She huffed. "Yeah, no kidding. It's pretty frustrating thinking this guy or girl with the creepy messages is watching me."

Just as she said the words, a small team made their way over. They were both engulfed, their makeup retouched, and Gianna's hair fussed with for the sake of continuity. Edward watched out of the corner of his eyes, sympathetic when he could see Gianna trying not to cringe. He considered each of the makeup team as they bent over him.

Bella had said once the stalker could be someone on the set.

Edward shook that thought away and continued his nonchalant observation of the hair and makeup people. None of them were really looking at him or Gianna. They, too, were tired of having to touch up makeup every half hour or so. Though they'd been friendly this morning, now Edward and Gianna were just a job to them. Get in. Get it done. Get out.

Gianna shuddered and wrapped her arms around herself as soon as they walked away. "Have I mentioned that I can't stand paranoia? You know what's especially funny? When I thought about how people would describe me…" She looked at him and blushed. "That sounds pompous, but we all do it, right? Think about interviews and things like that."

Edward smiled at her, wanting to reassure her. "It's not pompous to acknowledge that we're going to be interviewed and people are going to be interviewed about us."

"Yeah. Well, you know how everyone gets a reputation. So-and-so is a pain in the ass. That guy is nice, but he doesn't take showers. What's-her-face is the biggest diva. All that jazz?" She sighed. "I always wanted to be the easy-going one. I wanted them to say, 'Oh, Gianna? She's great to work with. Goes with the flow. Everything just slides off her shoulders.' Now it's going to be like, 'That Gigi chick is so vain, she thinks everything is about her.'"

Edward reached across the chair to give her knee a squeeze. "This will pass. And if it's any consolation, when they ask me what it was like working with the inimitable Gigi, I'll tell them she makes horrible, no good, very bad days like today bearable."

Gianna pretended to gasp. "You'd better be careful, Edward. People will think we're dating."

"See? You have nothing to worry about. Do you think I'd be okay with this whole charade if I thought you were horrible?"

He was still teasing, but her answer smile was sincere. "I don't know you very well, Edward Cullen, but yeah-I think you'd do it for anyone who felt as threatened as I did."

Edward was quiet, surprised by the sincerity of her words and the look in her eyes. She looked at him as though he were some kind of hero. While he was used to that from fans, his costars were often more blasé. He felt a blush rise to his cheeks. He didn't feel much like a hero. "You don't regret it?" he asked.

"Regret what?"

"Taking the job. I mean, I want to reiterate, you're safe. If there was any reason to think you were in danger, Emmett and Jasper would have notified the police by now. But still, the harassment got worse."

"Yeah." She sounded rueful. "But you know, I've thought about it a lot." She rolled her eyes. "We said from the get-go that the stalker might be obsessed with either one of us. So who's to say I wouldn't be dealing with something like this whether I was on this set or not?

"There you go thinking everything's about you. Diva."

She quirked an eyebrow at him, but she was still smiling. "Yeah, well. It's a possibility, right?"

"Talking about someone who's lost touch with reality, I suppose everything is a possibility." He tried hard not to think about Bella as he said those words. He hated the doubt that whispered in his ear.

"Well, the point is, this could have escalated anyway, even if I'd left the project." She shivered. "I just hope Jasper and Emmett catch them soon."

Edward hummed. He hated himself for the next words that came out of his mouth, innocent as they sounded. "Change of subject. How's working with Bella?"

"Bella? She's great. She's a real pro. She comes to watch me a lot."

"She does?" Edward's stomach churned.

"Yeah. She says she likes to see if she can pick up any nuance in my performance. She says everyone carries themselves differently."

"Smart lady, that one," Edward said. It was a good excuse to watch someone closely.

Stop it.

"So… if I were to ask you in an interview about Bella…" he said, keeping his tone light.

Gianna smirked. "You want me to put a good word in for you? You need me to be your personal PR machine?"

"What?"

"Oh, come on." Glancing around, Gianna leaned in close again, and Edward unconsciously mirrored her pose. "You want to know what I think? I think part of the reason you don't mind this charade is that it gives you a chance to spend time with Bella. You like her." She said the last in a singsong voice.

"You are aware this isn't an elementary school playground, right?"

Gianna laughed, the sound lighter than Edward had heard from her before. "And you didn't deny it. You like her. More than want her. You like her."

Edward sighed. He wasn't exactly ashamed of the fact. "What's not to like? Anyway, I asked how you felt about her. This is small talk, kid. Small talk about one of my favorite subjects, sure, but small talk nonetheless."

"I like Bella," Gianna said, still looking a touch too amused. "She works really hard. She's good at what she does, and her ass is amazing."

Edward nearly choked on the coffee as assistant had brought him while Gianna was talking. "What?"

Gianna giggled again. "Her ass is amazing. Which means, when she's doing stunts on screen, everyone thinks my ass is amazing."

"Ah. Well, I can't argue with that." At Gianna's look, Edward shook his head. "I'm not going to deny I have eyes. She's a beautiful woman, and yes, she has a perfect ass."

It took some effort, but Gianna tempered her grin. "So what's the problem?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're pretend dating already. Why aren't you really dating?"

"You know, if you're looking to switch careers from actor to entertainment reporter, there are better ways at going about it."

"Oh, another evasion. This is fun."

A PA came up then, rescuing Edward. "We're ready for you," he said.

"Back to work, kid," Edward said, getting to his feet. "That is, unless you want those interviews to talk about how difficult it is to work with you."

"Uh huh. We're not done," she said, wagging a finger, but she let him lead the way back to the set without another word.

~0~

Two days later, Gianna was papped out and about on the studio grounds in costume early in the day. Since the shoot lasted until well into the night, Edward and Bella took the opportunity to use the inevitable pictures to their advantage. They left the studio with Bella wearing a facsimile of the same costume and caught dinner at a nearby restaurant.

"This whole charade isn't going to last much longer you know," Bella said, falling into step beside Edward. She walked close to his body, shielded by his larger size from most of the patrons.

"I know," Edward said.

Benjamin had already stopped by to show him the latest blog forums and a few Tumblr posts. There were a few long and strident posts with blurry photographs decorated by red circles and squiggly arrows to call attention to details.

"They can tell the difference between my ass and Gianna's," Bella said, sounding amused.

"Yours is much nicer," Edward said, distracted.

"Ah ha!"

Edward was drawn out of his thoughts by the triumph in her voice. "What?" he asked as she slipped into the booth. He slid in beside her instead of across from her-though he never would have done that in a real relationship. He liked to look at his dates when they were out to dinner. The snuggling could wait until they were home.

"Wow. You don't even see anything wrong with that, huh? You've unabashedly stared at my and Gianna's ass long enough to make a comparison."

"Ah." Edward realized too late what he'd admitted. "It's not like it's a secret you've got a better ass. I didn't even have to look. Gianna told me that herself."

"Oh, I see. So you were just having a friendly discussion about another friend's ass."

"Exactly." He smirked at her. "Besides, I'm a highly analytical person. If the data in question is right in front of me for a significant period of time, I can hardly be blamed for analyzing it."

"You're one of those guys, huh? Can't look a woman in the eyes, and it's all her fault. Mmmhmm."

"I think your understanding of anatomy needs a bit of work there, good buddy. If it's your backside I'm looking at, I really can't look you in the eyes."

"But you don't have to stare at my ass."

"I never said I was staring at it. I said it's been in front of me, and I'm not sure if you've actually seen the costume you're wearing."

Bella glanced down. "It's not the most revealing costume in the world."

"Revealing no, but the pants are made to hug your ass. It's not like Gianna has a bad ass by any stretch of the imagination. You know those costumes are made to look good."

"Yes, of course. Heaven forbid women's costumes be made to look like she can kick some serious ass. You have to accentuate the breasts and butt."

Edward held a hand up, chuckling. "Well, that's a whole other kettle of fish now, isn't it? It wasn't my decision."

"Right. You're just analyzing and collating. You innocent flower. I'm going to add that tidbit to my collection for my tell-all. Edward Cullen is a butt man."

Edward sighed. "Well, that can't be too much of a surprise. I do appreciate a good butt. I'll admit it." Before he could think better of it, he reached out to push her hair back out of her eyes. "I also have a thing for cute ears," he said, giving hers a tug.

She flushed and pushed her hair back into her face. She gave an almost nervous-sounding laugh. "Careful, stud. Gianna definitely doesn't have these obnoxiously big ears."

"I like your ears."

She ducked her head but smiled at him. "Yeah, I caught that. But I'm still supposed to be Gianna right now. Gianna with her dainty little ears."

He slipped his hand under hair and flicked at her earlobes. She squeaked and batted his hands away, but she was laughing. "I like your ears," he said again.

"And my ass, apparently."

"You're aesthetically pleasing, Swan, and I have eyes. If it helps, I also like a lot of non-physical things about you."

"Oh, well that's a relief."

"Yeah, I mean, once you get past that abrasive personality and shrill voice."

She pinched his side, and he strangled a yelp. They 'fought,' both of them poking at each other like children and laughing. He caught her jabby fingers in his hands and held tightly. When his eyes met hers, his smile faltered.

They were too close. That was to be expected, of course. They were acting the part of a maybe-possibly-definitely couple, trying to draw their stalker friend out of the woodwork again. But Edward forgot about all that in the last few minutes. He couldn't remember when it had become so easy to touch her. The way they lingered-him holding her hand and her not pulling away-was intimate, and it wasn't an act.

He released his hold, and she ducked back into the corner of the booth when a waiter finally came by to take their order. The woman hurried away, and Edward turned his attention back to Bella.

"So, like I was saying, we're not going to be able to keep this up for much longer," she said.

Edward blinked, trying to remember what they'd been talking about. Oh, right. There were conspiracy theories about her ass.

"Maybe it's for the best," Bella tapped her finger on the table. "There haven't been any new leads in weeks. And no new letters." She shook her head. "It's weird. It's like, as soon as we really tightened up a plan, they backed off."

"Almost like they knew," Edward said, that horrible, cloying sense of doubt tugging at him again.

"Yeah." Bella, oblivious to his line of thought, leaned her elbows on the table.

"Well, I'm sure Emmett and Jasper have other ideas." Edward knew Emmett had been checking into Bella on his own. Surely by now his bodyguard would have dug something up if it existed.

"Speaking of Jasper, has he told you about the plan for tomorrow night?"

Edward glanced at her, taken off guard. "There's a plan?"

"If you don't have anything else going on, Jasper told me Alice wants to host another get together. Gianna's invited because Jasper's on duty that night. I guess they figured if they couldn't have alone time, they might as well make it a party."

"You're inviting me to someone else's party?"

Bella rolled her eyes. "They were going to invite you anyway, you nincompoop. Hence why I asked if Jasper had already talked to you."

"Mmhmm. So it's not a diabolical scheme on your part to spend more time with me?"

"Good God." Bella groaned and shook her head. "We've got to do something about your ego. Maybe I will release those dancing videos. That would take you down a notch or twelve."

"Ah, I see the way it is now. You're going to get me liquored up and get me to make an even bigger fool of myself. Setting up a pattern, right?" He wagged his finger in her face. "I'm on to you."

She laughed. "Jasper doesn't have that game." She tilted her head. "I may be forced to kick your ass in Super Smash Brothers though."

"Highly unlikely. I was stuck on a set once where there was nothing for miles in either direction, and it was way too fucking hot to go outside. You know what I did? I played Super Smash Brothers. For hours. You challenge me to that game, and I will not be held responsible for the ass kicking that follows."

"So violent."

"You started it."

"Okay, okay. So let's add that to the list of Edward Cullen facts." Bella pretended to write on a notepad. "Ass man. Has mad Super Smash Brothers skills. Can't dance. Got it."

"I already told you, I can dance. I'm just not good at flailing artfully to poppy nonsense."

"Well, the next time there's a grand ball to attend, I'll make sure to get you an invitation."

Bella had been looking at him, but abruptly her eyes cut to the side, and then she ducked against his shoulder. He turned to find a fan approaching, her eyes wide and nervous.

"Hi," the fan squeaked. "I, um. Midnight Games is kind of my favorite movie, and I… I mean, I have no camera. Can I… autograph?" the girl babbled, looking at Bella's bent head.

Edward rubbed Bella's shoulder and gave the fan a tight smile. "She's a little shy," he said. The girl was young enough-maybe eleven-that he didn't want to disappoint her. "Here." He took the book she'd offered-it was indeed a well-worn copy of Midnight Games - and placed it on the table where Bella could see it easily. "What's your name, sweetheart?" he asked, trying to distract her eyes away from Bella.

"Heidi."

"What a pretty name." He turned and ducked his head to whisper the catchphrase of Midnight Games in her ear. Bella obediently scribbled the words and signed Gianna's name.

It wasn't perfect by a long shot, but it was eerily similar to Gianna's actual signature, Edward noted. His stomach churned again.

"Thank you so much," the girl gushed, getting her book back. She looked over her shoulder and leaned in close to Edward. "My mom really thinks you're hot," she said.

Edward had to smother a laugh, especially when he felt Bella snort against his side. He leaned to the side. Sure enough, the girl's mother was trying very hard not to look like she wasn't fangirling out. He gave her a wave, and was rewarded by a deep red blush and a grin.

The waiter came back then, and Edward glanced between him and the girl. "We have to get back to the studio. Can we get this to go?" To Heidi, he offered a hand. "Nice to meet you, Heidi. Tell your mother hello for me."

He pulled Bella to her feet, tucking her against his side. He told the waiter he'd send someone for their food, slipped him a bill large enough to cover the meal and a generous tip, and headed out the door.

He tried not to think about what it might mean that Bella knew how to approximate Gianna's signature.

A/N:*whistles innocently*