Chapter 7 – The Coffee Shop

Sara ran into the cold night air and ran down the street. She was relieved that she hadn't worn high heels because then she never would have gotten away. As she ran away she felt the tears come down. She was used to crying by now, but she hated crying in public. She ran for three blocks then slowed to a walk. She wiped her eyes and looked around so she could hail a cab under the light of a street light. That's when she spotted Nick. He had followed her. She closed her eyes in frustration. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening.

"Sara!" he called out. She wiped her eyes again but more tears came. He said her name softer as he reached her.

"What?" she asked softly trying to keep the tears to a minimum but it was no use. They were coming out in sobs now.

"Sara what's wrong? It was just a kiss." He tried to comfort her with an arm around her but she turned and started walking away again.

"Sara, wait," He said he quickly turning so he was in front of her and stopped in front of the next street light, putting both hands on her shoulders. "What's wrong?"

"I…Nick…I don't want to talk about it," she said between sobs.

"Sara, was it something I did?" he asked softly.

"No! Nick just leave me alone! Just go away!" she lashed out at him and hit him in the chest. It didn't hurt but he was so surprised that he stepped back. "Just go away," she tried again and she hit him a few more times but the tears were taking over. She started shaking and Nick walked slowly up to her and wrapped her in a hug. He rubbed her back and leaned his head on hers while she cried.

They stayed like this only a few seconds before Sara realized he was so close. He was standing closer then anyone had been in so long and that scared her even more then the kiss. She gasped then jumped away whispering "No…no…no."

"Sara," Nick tried to get her to look at him. "Sara. It's ok. It's alright."

"No…its not, Nick," the tears were subsiding but they were still chilling on her face. "Nick….you don't understand…" She tried to get him to leave without actually telling him.

"I won't know unless you tell me," he tried taking a step closer. He didn't understand why she didn't want him near her.

"I…can't….I haven't told….anyone." Her tears started down her face again.

"It will still hurt if you don't tell anyone," he tried again to take a step forward.

"I….I can't. It j-just hurts…too…too bad," she whispered finally looking at Nick. She hadn't cried this hard in awhile and now she remembered why she hated it so much.

"It's going to be ok Sara. You can talk to me. I'm right here," he took another step and reached out to tough her arm. She cringed at his touch but didn't turn away. Nick looked around. Not much was open but there was a coffee shop across the street.

"How about we get out of the cold and go in there. We can talk about it over a cup of coffee," he said quietly, still holding her arm. She closed her eyes and let him lead her across the street to the little ma and pa shop. They sat down at a high table with high stools by the window. Sara sat in silence, her hands folded on the table, looking at the little tray in the middle holding sugar, milk, and cream. An elderly woman came up to them and Nick told her to bring two regular coffees. She left and Nick looked at Sara.

"Sara?" he tried to get her to look at him. She didn't move. "Sara," he tried again, but this time he reached out and laid a hand on hers. They were shaking and freezing cold. Sara closed her eyes tight and a single tear squeezed out onto his hand. He took a thumb and caressed the back of her hand.

"It's going to be ok, Sara," he whispered, trying to get her to take the ball. She just shook her head, her eyes still closed. "You can tell me anything. I'll understand, I promise."

Sara looked up at him slowly. He was leaning on his elbows with that one hand stretched out. His big eyes were filled with worry and persuasion. She decided in that instant that she could trust him with it. She could trust him with the thing she had tried to bury.

"I…I was married," she whispered, trying to start the story.

"Married?" Nick asked. He was a little confused as to where this was going.

"Yeah. 6 years ago I got married. He was…" Sara tried to find the words to describe the only man she had really loved. At that moment the woman came back with their coffee. Nick took his hand off of Sara's and poured some milk into his cup. Sara used shaky hands to pour some sugar and cream in hers. She picked up the spoon and stirred it but didn't drink any.

"Go on," Nick said after a moment.

"He was….so….amazing. We met in college and hit it off almost right away." She smiled at the memory of him. But that memory instantly brought even more tears. She took a deep breath trying to tell the story without too many interruptions.

"He proposed on Christmas Eve. Everyone knew it was going to happen." She let out a little laugh, "Even me." She sniffed and went on. "We got married and…it was perfect. Just….perfect. Everything about Alex was perfect. We moved in together and about a month later I was pregnant. We…he was so happy. He always wanted children and he was so…excited." Sara thought back to when she told Alex she was pregnant. He had been jumping around all day with a smile that did come off. That memory brought more tears and a smile too. She tried again to calm herself with a deep breath.

"Anyway…the pregnancy went fine. The baby was healthy. And then…and then one night he went out to go into work. Its just work right?" she looked up at Nick he nodded slowly, urging her to go on. "I got a call that night. It was his partner. They….they were in a car crash. He was in surgery and I had to get there….get there quick." Sara took her hand off the coffee cup and brought it to her eyes. It was still shaking as she tried to wipe the tears. "Then…then the doctor….he…he t-told us…." Sara looked at Nick again. She didn't want to finish the sentence.

"He passed," Nick finished for her.

Sara just nodded. "I went into labor that night. The doctor told me afterward that it was because of the stress. It took nearly 24 hours but…I had a girl." Charlotte's cute little face popped into her head. "I'm sorry I ran. It's just….I've barely touched any guy since Alex….and tonight… it was just too much." Sara ran her fingers through her hair and Nick looked down at his coffee. He took another sip. No wonder she ran.

"It's ok Sara. I understand." They sat in silence a moment then a thought popped into his head. "What happened to your baby?"

Sara let out half a laugh. "Charlotte. Alex liked that name. She…she lives with me still. She's 5 now. She just started school." Sara smiled at the thought of Charlotte. She always did. Even though she was the only thing she had that remained of the night Alex had died, Charlotte always brought a smile to her face. No matter what.

They sat and drank their coffee in a comfortable silence. Sara thought telling her story would be the worst thing she could ever do, but now that she had told someone, it wasn't so bad. And she was very glad she had told Nick. She looked up at him and smiled. He gave her his charming smile and Sara looked down at her almost empty cup.

"Nick?" She said quietly.

"Yeah?" He looked at her.

"Thanks. For listening," she whispered. He smiled and reached across to hold her hand again.