A/Ns: It's me, back again! (Finally) Sorry about the shortness of this chapter. And the painfulness. WARNING: EYES MAY BLEED FROM BADLY-WRITTEN CONTENT. Can't sue me!

Many thanks to lovely beta KiaraAlexisKlay!

Pamela's head had taken on a permanent dull pounding ache. She sighed as she checked her email inbox to see another FF PM from flarismyman.

How long would it take before that… that… idiot (Pamela refrained from using a stronger word)… figured out that her ideas for her story were appalling? They truly were. And yet flarismyman stubbornly refused to change it.

Pamela wearily opened the latest message.

i donnt kare. u cant mak mee. i wont cange it. Its goood how it iz now. NO. im goint 2 postt it now.

"Please?" Pamela begged her computer screen pointlessly. At least she had managed to correct the spelling/grammar without gagging from the terrible clichés found in the latest chapter. The least she could do was save the world from terrible typos – not that they were all typing errors – even if she couldn't spare the poor readers the agony of reading awful plot ideas, characters, and stereotypes…

Let's just say… Flarismyman never mentioned her beta by name in her A/Ns, and for this, Pamela was intensely grateful.

Marjory was having a moral debate.

She had been… inspired… by several other stories on ffdotnet. Should she mention them in her author's notes? She certainly wasn't going to mention that IKYA. She'd never been so infuriated and annoyed by someone she'd never met in person. Really.

Marjory sighed and clicked over to her email account. She was still impatiently waiting for feedback on "The Most Beautiful of Them All." How hard could it be to press the stupid button and type? She'd never tried – maybe it was difficult. But she doubted it.

But even if they hadn't liked it – which she doubted – she had the next chapter ready, whatever that stupid IKYA thought. She hastened over to her ffdotnet account to post it.

Karen yawned wide, her dull blue eyes crinkling. Her thin, lank reddish-brown hair was pulled back in its customary messy ponytail. She knew she shouldn't be on the computer at 3:30am. But she couldn't help it. What else was she supposed to do? Sleep? Yeah, right!

She finally tired of taking endless quizzes of Which Hogwarts Boy Would You Date? on Quizilla, and typed in the fanfiction dot net URL in the browser. The home page showed, and she tapped over to the AMC section. Another story? She smiled, rousing from her state of semi-coma. She hadn't checked out the section lately. The story was by flarismyman. Hadn't that person written another story… Dragons?

Karen blinked. She hadn't really read that one – her eyes had already been glazing over and she had passed out on the keyboard shortly after looking at the first line uncomprehendingly. When she had woken up, she'd realized she was late for school, and hadn't gotten to finish reading the story. But, oh well. Flarismyman had a new one.

The first chapter was mostly about this amazing, perfect girl. All Karen had to do was close her eyes for a moment to picture herself as Alai. From that moment on, the poor college girl was infatuated with the tale. Alai was everything she wasn't, but if she stretched things a bit, she could be the perfect one.

Karen gave an exhausted half-squeal of delight when she saw that there was another chapter. She clicked on it so fast that her computer had to spin for a while before it was able to process her request.

She read:

Like, hi! I can't believe I'm back again! No one reviewed chapter 1 yet (wahhh!), but I'm posting again anyway! (-Audience loves me-) Anyway, please review or Ralphie will decapitate you all! MWAHAHAHAHA!

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Alai gasps a clear, small gasp as Hotteth takes off. A beautiful smile curves her full, red lips, and she leans back, her sparkling blue eyes widening slightly. She holds her breath when M'kyui says, "We're going between in a moment, Alai, O Flower of Beauty! It will be cold and awful, but it shalt not last more than three breaths!" even though no one actually talks like that, even on Pern.

"I can do it," Alai lilts in her thin, lilty voice.

Let us go, Hotteth, my fine bronze! M'kyui shouts to his dragon. The great beast flings himself into the abyss of cold blackness.

Alai blinks, though she is unfazed by the awful, bone-chilling nowhereness. She is impervious to any such evils. She barely flinches, though when they get out, M'kyui is trembling. She reaches back with a thin, dainty, reassuring hand. M'kyui immediately feels warmth flood his body at her touch. "Thank you, Alai – The Most Beautiful of Them All!" (A/N: Isn't it cool how I got the title of the story in there!)

They land, Hotteth's vast wingspan filling the Weyr and bathing it with shadow. (Yes, the author knows how big a Weyr is. Why should that matter?)

"The Hatching will be soon, Amazing Alai," says M'kyui, his terrifically handsome face wrinkling with worry that his sure-to-Impress candidate would miss the huge event.

Of course, candidates are always Searched bare moments before the Hatching. Why should the Weyr have foresight?

"Do not worry," says Alai calmly, her… uh, her pure, gentle voice ringing smoothly through the air and floating enticingly into M'kyui's perfect ear. He shivers slightly at her – her… her herness.

"Here, we must get you a white Impression robe, for you will surely be getting the best of the best. There is a golden egg on the Sands, My Gorgeous Lady." M'kyui blushes slightly, but he feels confidence flood him as Alai flashes him a bright, white, sparkly smile.

She quickly changes, and then swings up onto Hotteth's great bronze neck. M'kyui slaps his dragon, urging the vast beast into the air.

Alai feels a small twinge of nerves zing through her guts, but she brushes it off. She has always been amazing at everything she does – she is an accomplished singer, healer, swordsman, and cook, and has been taught by her cousin to draw, which he praised her highly for. She can read and write, and has written many little songs and stories that her Harper tells all the time, though no one knows it is her who wrote them, and she is too modest to tell anyone.

Hotteth lands and lets his brilliant passenger off. Alai slides off, and smiles up at M'kyui, fluttering her dark, long, thick eyelashes, as that was her way of thanking people.

All the other candidates gasp as she walks past them, her eyes modestly lowered. Her beauty overwhelms all of them – how can one girl be so perfect? Everyone immediately wishes they could be her, except for one girl, Drulnunna. Drulnunna narrows her evil eyes, determined to make this gorgeous girl miserable. But she will put her plan to action later (A/N: Ooh, foreshadowing! Snazzy, huh?).

Everyone begins to get nervous as the eggs rock hard, but Alai stands firmly. Her slender figure is looking better than ever in the thin white robe, which fits her perfectly. Of course, if she were dressed in a potato sack, she would look lovely. Are there potatoes on Pern?

Anyway, the eggs begin to hatch, and Alai can hear the hatchlings' voices in her head. She gives a floaty gasp, putting thin, pale fingers to her forehead in startled amazement.

Then, the golden egg hatches with a dramatic thunk that makes all the girls shiver, except, of course, Alai, because shivering isn't graceful or beautiful.

The queen gets to her feet, her stunning gold color showing that she is a beautiful, and very big dragon. In fact, she will be bigger than Ramoth and basically every other dragon in existence, because, as you all know, if there's a main character with a dragon, that dragon has to be extra-special. Why should the author care if Ramoth is supposedly "the biggest dragon ever shelled"?

The queen immediately makes her way toward Alai, but before she gets there, Alai feels a head butt the backs of her knees. She stands strongly, but looks down to find a green wailing thinly next to her. The queen is now also next to her, and the two dragons begin to fight, squabbling over her, competing with each other, as they both want this amazing girl to be their own rider.

Finally, the golden queen locked eyes with Alai.

Dear, dear, beautiful Alai, O beautiful, gorgeous one, your life will now be perfect, since I, Sledaifalefefth, am here.

Oh, Sledaifalefefth! Alai cried in a pure, beautiful voice, dropping to her knees gracefully. We will be the most beautiful dragon and rider on Pern!

And they would be.

YyYyYyYyYyYyYyYyYyYyYyYyYyYyYyYyYyYyYyYyYyYy

A/N: Well, of course they are! Now, REVIEW, or RalphieTheChainsaw will murder you all! REVIEW!

Karen was in shock. The story was wonderful! She was almost paralyzed, her eyelids drooping in her amazement.

Or maybe she was just passing out.

A/Ns: Please review! Ouch, this story hurts to write (and it hurts my lovely beta to proofread it, too!) Didja like the "OoOoOoOo" touch? It annoys the heck out of me when people really do it.