All Roads Lead To Hell

By: Paraflymore

Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I do not own Supernatural and if I did I would be way nicer to them all.

A/N: I sincerely apologize for how long this chapter has taken. I had the flu - and spent the week thinking I was going to die. Then I moved so I am just now getting a chance to catch my breath - and of course post you guys a new chapter. Thanks a billion for reading, I love you guys! :)

Summary: Nothing is ever easy...

Fighting For Nothing
Chapter Four:
"Clarity"

Lila was well past drunk.
Whiskey and heart break just went so well together and falling back into old habits was the easiest solution to the rift in her chest. She would try and try to fill it up with something bigger and better but the more drunk she got and the further away from that day she got, Lila realized that there was nothing in this world that could replace Dean Winchester.
And his name, God, his name had become a lullaby, a mantra that she recites to herself again and again.
A prayer of sorts to get her through the day.
Before she tried not to even think of the name but now it was like a drug to her.
She scribbled it on the corner of her notepad as she took customers orders. She sang it, she breathed it.
And it helped.
Most days...
He couldn't say it out loud so it wasn't real. None of it. Not those months they spent together after her mom died, not anything that happened afterwards.
And Lila Dawson learned a long time ago that you shouldn't believe in things you can't touch.
She needed something concrete to rest her head on.
But Dean Winchester was the fucking wind.
And he would always be fleeting.
And yes, one day Lila might meet someone who makes her forget all about him, she doubted this most days, but she had seen stranger things happen.
The bar she's in is noisy, not her usual spot. A few friends from work, the new waitress Rachel and her girlfriends had talked her into coming out with them.
But all they had to say was drinks and she was in.
Her short jean skirt and black tank top paled in comparison to their outfits. Glitter and sequins and we won't even talk about the shoes...
But she was content to stand at the bar and make friends with the bartender and pour whiskey on the fire in her chest.
Feed the beast.
And she's watching two of Rachel's friends start to make out in front of a guy who looks like he hit his peak in high school when her phone rings.
She almost doesn't answer it.
Mostly because she is sure it's Del and she really is too drunk for the third degree right now.
But that's not the name that slides across the screen.
Dean Winchester.
Her heart leaps into her throat and suddenly she is stone cold sober.
It had to be a mistake, she's thinking as she tosses a wad of cash at the bartender and makes her way through the crowd, still staring at the name in disbelief.
"Do you want you change?" he calls but Lila waves him off, already halfway to the door.
She answers it and her hands are shaking so bad she almost drops her phone.
"Hello?"
"Lila..."
Why was it that her name only sounded special when he said it?
"What's up?" she asks, pacing back and forth in front of the bar.
"I had this really weird dream..."
"I can't really hear you Dean, is everything okay?" she turns away from the entrance of the bar, holding one hand over her other ear to drown out the noise. "Dean?"
"I miss you Lila."
She lets out a long breath, she feels like she might just fall right over. "Are you drunk?" she asks, because it was really the only logical explanation.
He chuckles. "No."
"You can't just call me like this Dean, you can't just say you miss me and nothing else."
"I have plenty to say to you. I just wanna say it face to face so I can see your expression."
She fights the smile creeping on her lips. "Well don't change your mind on your way here."
"Never again." he breathes. "Everything is gonna be different now, I promise."
"What suddenly changed?"
"I did."

She doesn't sleep.
She watches the sun come up with her knees tucked under her chin and Janis Joplin playing on the radio. She thinks that she's dreaming so she has it stuck in her head that if she does fall asleep everything might be different when she opens her eyes again.
So she drinks two pots of coffee and she waits.
And she would wait a hundred more years if she had to.
Someone knocks at her door, just as her eyes are starting to get heavy and she leaps off the couch. She wishes she would had at least showered because she smells like alcohol and sweat.
But she opens the door and he's standing there and nothing else really matters.
He looks right into her eyes and in that moment she knows that something is wrong.
"Dean?"
He nods. "Its Sam."
Of course it is.
"What?"
"We stopped to get food, and I sat in the car. The radio station turned to static and all the lights in the diner started flickering. I was too late... I shouldn't have let him go alone."
"Its gonna be okay." she whispers tugging him inside by the sleeve of his jacket.
Dean wraps his arms around her, before she can even shut her door all the way. He buries his face in her neck and she can feel tears on her skin.
"We're gonna find him Dean, I promise."

There was so much to say - and they could feel it growing between them as they made their way to Bobby's.
So many words unsaid.
But it had to wait for now.
Something more important was happening.
Lila was on the phone with Del, explaining that she wouldn't be there for her shift tomorrow. And Dean can hear her cussing on the other end. Lila rolls her eyes at the sound but he was honestly a little scared of her.
"I promise I'll call you. Please don't worry about me. I'm fine."
"You're always fine. Even when you have two black eyes..."
"I'm hanging up now Del." she snaps her phone closed and looks out at the road.
"Is she mad?"
"Oh no," Lila tells him. "Delphine Larue doesn't get mad, she gets livid."
He smirks but the gesture doesn't touch his eyes. Lila reaches for his hand, threading her fingers with his.
"I'm sorry, I know you probably thought this would go a little different..." he says glancing down at their hands.
"We don't have to talk about any of that right now. Just know I'm here."
He nods, squeezing her hand a little. "It all just happened so fast."
"You have to stop blaming yourself okay? Everything bad that happens is not your fault."
He shakes his head. "I haven't told you everything about this whole thing with Sam..."
"What do you mean?"
"Dad, before he died he told me that Sam might turn evil. He said that if I couldn't stop him I would have to kill him."
Lila falls silent. Her heart feels heavy in her chest. "So you've been just carrying this around with you all this time?"
Dean works his jaw.
"Damn John Winchester." she says through clenched teeth. "He's an ass for putting that on you. He always expected too much from you. It wasn't fair."
"What if he was right? What if this is it and my brother went darkside on me and I couldn't stop it from happening..."
Lila shakes her head, and if he wasn't driving she would of slapped him right there. "You don't even see it do you Dean? You can't see it and its right in front of you, staring back at you when you look in the mirror." she squeezes his fingers. "In a world of darkness your the goddamned sun. You're the best person I know. You always do the right thing even if it puts you at risk..."
He looks over at her, his eyes are locked on hers but they are somewhere far away.
"Sam would tell you the same thing if he were here." Lila breathes out a painful breath. "We're gonna find him. I promise."

"This is a bad fucking idea." Dean says eyeing Bobby and not meeting her eyes.
"Why?"
"Because you're not a witch."
She rolls her eyes. "Yeah but I can do a location spell. Its easy."
"And how the hell do you know how to do that?"
"Did you ever meet my mother Dean?"
He scrubs his hand down his face.
Lila looks to Bobby. "Can you get the stuff I need?"
He nods, looking up at Dean.
He sighs. "Humor her."
"I can..." he says, "might take some time."
"How much time?"
"Day or two, I can't exactly crap this stuff out for you." he says holding up her list.
She nods. "Okay. Plan B then."
"Plan B?" Dean asks. "You mean you have another bright idea?"
She nods with a smirk. "I'm full of bright ideas Winchester."
He sighs pinching the bridge of his nose. "Yeah, lay it on me."
"I can try to make myself have a vision..."
"A vision?" Bobby asks looking at her with a tilt to his head. "You're psychic?"
"Sometimes."
"Its still happening?"
Lila nods. "It happened when that demon had me, that's how I knew it wasn't Sam. But other than that... I haven't had one since that werewolf."
"Okay. Well what makes you think you can have one now?"
She shrugs. "I don't know I've never tried to actually have one they just sort of surprise me."
"Just try concentrating on Sam," Bobby tells her.
She nods, turning away from them and rubbing her temples.
People don't just disappear, Sam had to be somewhere out there. She just had to hone in on him.
"Is it working?" Dean pipes up from behind her.
She gives him the death glare and he falters.
"What if this doesn't work?" she whispers, looking down at her hands.
"If you've had a vision before, you can have one again." Bobby says. "But in the mean time we will keep looking for signs of demons and leave you to concentrate on your visions..." he pats Dean's arm and they walk out of the kitchen. Leaving her to her thoughts.
Come on, Lila.
She tells herself, sitting down at the table.
The one fucking time you actually need to have a vision and you come up short... What good was having these types of powers if it didn't help when you needed it to most...
Lila rests her head for a moment in her hand.
She realizes for a moment that she hasn't slept in almost 48 hours.
And she doesn't really see the harm in resting her eyes for a moment.

She's standing in mud up to her calves and she feels like she actually sinking further into it the more she struggles to get free. Its up to her hips when she finally sees Sam, he's standing there talking to a man she's never seen before. They're in some kind of town and it vaguely reminds of her of something out of the wild west.
Its so weird.
Then they start fighting.
The man punches Sam so hard he goes flying backwards into a field.
By this point she's sunk into the mud pit up to her chest and she's fighting to pull her hands up.
She tries to scream but nothing comes out and she slips further into the mud until there is nothing left of her there.
Lila opens her eyes gasping for air as if she can really suffocating in that mud.
She coughs up a brown stain into her hand.
Dean is there in the next second touching her back while she coughs, his face looks alarmed when he notices the brown in her hands and she jumps up from the table and turns on the sink rinsing her mouth out.
"I don't know what the fuck just happened." she breathes, spitting water into the sink.
"Did you see him."
Lila nods, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. "He was fighting this guy, I never seen him before, he had like super strength or something. It was..."
She rests against the counter when a sharp pain rips through her head, she is still picturing that place, the cold feel of it. How it just seemed like a place that had seen some bad things. And how quick and easy that guy took Sam down.
"What else did you see?" Bobby asks, "anything that stuck out?"
"You mean besides the guy with super strength?"
Both of them glare at her.
"Sorry," she rubs her temples. "It was like this ghost town, it honestly creeped me the hell out. There was tis big bell..."
"What kind of bell?" Bobby asks her suddenly.
"Like a big bell with some kind of engraving on it, I don't know..." her head is poundong so hard, she feels like she might pass out.
"Engraving?"
"Yeah." Dean rubs his hand down her back softly and the pain subsides a little.
"Was it a tree? Like, an oak tree?"
"Yeah, exactly."
"I know where Sam is..."