A/N: Hey all! Thanks for the reviews! I tried cramming a lot into this one. The next chapter will be a lot more dotty centered, but I felt this one needed to be focused on the entire clan. Let me know what you think!
"Are you sure she's going to go Papi?" Dom's daughter asked him anxiously.
"I'm working on it Maz." He told her letting out an exasperated breath.
"She won't eat. She won't leave your room. She won't talk to any of us. How is she supposed to go to the funeral? She needs to be there when we all say goodbye."
"I said I'm working on it. She just needs her space now. I know this is hard for you too-"
"It is, and she won't talk to me about it."
"Sometimes you don't have to talk. Why don't you just try being there?"
"She ignores me. It's like I don't exist. Don't my feelings matter too? She's not the only one who lost someone." His teenager told him frustrated.
"Watch it." Dom warned her.
"I'm sorry. I'm just really mad right now." She paused. "Mamá dies and it's like everything falls apart. I just feel alone. You know? I loved her too."
"We all did."
"Then why is no one trying to celebrate her? Where is Alexus? Where is Jensen? I haven't seen them since you told us. Why do I feel like I'm the only one who cares about this funeral?" Mazda blurted out as tears fell down her face. Dom embraced his daughter, and softly cradled her in his arms.
"Shh stop. Everything is going to workout okay. It's just really hard for everyone right now." He told her empathetically.
"I just miss her. She always knew just how to make the worse situations funny and bearable, and now there's no one to do that."
"It's gonna be okay Mazdi. We all are going to have to learn to live without her."
"I don't know if Mami can. I feel like I've lost two moms."
"Your mom's going to snap back. She just needs some time. I just need you to worry about you right now, and let me handle everyone else." He said looking into her eyes and wiping her tears.
"Okay" She said giving him a large hug. "I love you Papi." The words warmed his heart, the way they had always done since she had been old enough to speak.
"I love you too." He told her. Dom knew he had to take larger measures. Getting Letty to respond to anyone, including himself proved to be more challenging than he had ever anticipated. So he brought out the big guns, and called the only person he could think of that Letty would listen to.
"Pops I need you to help me out with Letty. She's not talking anyone, and has been lying in the same position for the last five days."
"Well that's not good."
"I've tried being in there, but she won't respond to me. All she does is cry, sleep, or stare. I don't know what to do. Nothing is working and everyone is waiting for us." Dom informed his father with slight hint of panic.
"Alright I'm gonna go in there, and try to talk some sense into her. You go ahead. Handle the kids. Handle the press." Tony said waving his son off and making his way upstairs to his daughter-in-law. "How you doing kid?" He asked sitting behind Letty after entering her bedroom. She did not answer. "You know the wake is in three hours? Everyone's going to be wondering why you're not there." She still didn't answer. However, he knew she was listening and continued. "It's crazy when you think back to the times you've had with the people you love. You know my Camila was something fierce. She brought me so much love and joy, but no one could push my buttons the way that woman would. Boy was she stubborn, and everything always had to be her way. You remind a lot of her. The kids were so young when she passed that they don't really remember the fights and bad days. Why would you want to? I remember when she first told me she loved me. I remember the cute little wrinkle on her face when the sun would wake her up in the morning. I remember how she'd have breakfast going and kids prepped for school by the time I was out of the shower. I remember how we made a promise to never go to bed angry, and we kept it. There was a time when remembering hurt. For about a year my neighbors helped me with the kids because I had no one else and had no idea what I was doing. Days would go by and no one knew where I was. I couldn't look at Mia directly for months. I don't want to say I rejected her, but I just couldn't handle it. I sucked. Life was happening whether I wanted it to or not. I had to eventually face the music and get my shit together."
"What's the point off all this?" Letty said turning around to face him in the fetal position.
"You need to trust that time is going to ease the pain. You may not believe me, but there will come a day where you will laugh again."
"Everything reminds me of her." Letty began softly. Her voice was laced with deep sadness. "I can't blink without seeing her. Things I hated I wish I had now more than ever."
"Tell me the most important moment you've ever had with Ana."
"Tony I appreciate what you're trying to do, but I just can't do this right now. I just can't." Letty said in all attempt to be respectful with the only man she ever considered to be like a father.
"Do you think she would have wanted to have seen you like this?"
"I always did things she never wanted me to do. Why stop now?"
"You know what this reminds me of kiddo?"
"I'm sure you'll tell me anyway."
"That evening in the garage, when you found out you were having a boy for the first time. Remember what you said to me?" Letty started tearing up.
"I just want mom." She responded her voice cracking at the memory.
"Didn't you get her?"
"Yeah, but this time I know I'll never get her back."
"Nonsense" Tony brushed off. "She's in here." He said grazing his index finger over her heart. "And here" He said placing a soft hand on her forehead. "A lot of people need you today."
"I don't care. I'm not going to stand there and give a speech to a room full of people who will never understand what we had, no one, not even my brother. She was a different person by the time she had him."
"Just because your pain is different does not mean that others feel it any less."
"I just can't do it Tony."
"Try"
"You really want to know one of my most important memories with her?"
"So now you wanna talk?" The elderly man prodded.
"Well you did ask." He gestured that she proceed. "Our relationship was always messed up, but the night of Alexus' baby shower I finally got the answer to the question I had been asking all my life. It was the first time I realized she loved me. I wanted to believe she did before that, but I didn't know for sure until that moment. A part of me just felt so complete and hopeful, and now that part of me feels lost and confused like when I used runaway from home. I don't know how to communicate that feeling so that people understand."
"You would be surprised to see how many people will understand if you just let them in. I've told you that since you've been a teenager."
"But this is different"
"Is it really? You hiding is not helping you. It's not helping anyone. So you're going to get up. You're going to put on those clothes, and then I'm going to personally drive you to this wake."
"I can't see her again Tony."
"It's a closed casket; and once the wake's over, we're going to go and bury your mother together, as a family, like we've always done things. Understand?" He told authoritatively. Letty gave him a small nod. He left and instructed Dom and his grandchildren to go ahead. The older Toretto was successful in getting Letty dressed and in his car. She struggled to make it through the doors of the funeral home, but once she did she was overwhelmed by all the sniffles, and tears that were in the room. The sedative she had taken that morning seemed to have helped tolerate it. She quickly glanced around the room, paralyzed with fear and hoping the large sunglasses she wore would hide any expression on her face. Her two oldest son's were consoling her brother, who like she looked very much like he had merely survived a natural disaster.
"They haven't left his side." Tony informed her as she looked on. "They've been staying with me while Lute gets better."
"He didn't make it today?" She asked.
"No, it's dangerous to move him."
"Poor Milo." She whispered. Her brother had been the only person who's phonecalls she would take and voice she could tolerate.
"Why don't you go over there? He needs you too." Letty gave him a nod. She knew she some how had to find the strength to bear it all. The wake was a small intimate gathering. Only her closest friends and family members were permitted to attend. Flowers from fans, co-workers, and relatives outside the state littered hall. As she took note of her surroundings she was caught off guard by her mother's eldest sister.
"Ay Letty!" Her aunt Amparo cried draping her arms over her niece. "Se nos fue! Se nos fue! Ay mi hermanita! Dios mío dame fuerza." (She's gone. She's gone. Oh my little sister! God give me strength.)
"Lo se tía" (I know aunty.) Letty responded by soothing the older woman's back who hugged her so tightly. It was almost as if she could feel the woman's agony that mirrored her own.
"Es que fue demasiado pronto, ay ya yai."(It was too soon. Oh lord!) The older woman cried. Letty continued to soothe her. "Como estas mi amor?" (How are you doing love?) Her aunt was finally able to ask.
"Usted sabe, sobreviviendo." (Surviving)
"Que voy hacer sin mi hermanita?" (What am I going to do without my little sister?)
"No se como vivir sin ella." (You're asking the wrong person because I don't know how to live without her.) Letty cried into her aunt's neck. She started crying so hard others came to embrace her as well. Letty oddly found comfort in the sharing of such pain.
"Mami I'm so sorry you don't have a mom anymore." Jensen said hugging his mother tightly.
"Thank you, but you don't have a grandma anymore."
"Yeah, but I can't imagine a world without you. I can't imagine that pain so I'm sorry you have to go through it."
"I'm sorry too baby."
"I can take care of you, you know?"
"That's not your job."
"Of course it is. You're my mom." Letty caressed his face, and kissed his cheek.
"I'm so lucky to have you." She told him leaning against his chest.
"No I'm the luckiest kid who ever lived." Moments later the priest had asked her and her brother to say a few words to address their guests. Alexus walked up with Letty while holding her close after Milo gave a tearful speech. She appreciated his love and support, but it did not make the task any easier.
"Thank you all for coming. I purposefully wore this dress in hopes that my mother would rise and yell at me for wearing something so ugly, but she's not going to. That has been very hard for me to accept." Letty took a deep breath as her voice began to shake. "Wow this is hard. I never thought the day would come when I would have to say goodbye. There aren't words to describe how I'm feeling. I never thought I could miss someone this much. She was a lot of things to a lot of people, but to me she was just Mami. The one who would force feed me when I was little, yell at me when I didn't do my chores, gossip about our neighbors, and talk about the latest telenovelas. And when I started getting knocked up, she was the best baby sitter. You could ask my kids. They love her. But with that set aside, I can honestly say that I wouldn't be where I am today without her. I wouldn't be the woman I am without her, and for that I thank her." Letty said trying to get her last words out. Dominic came beside her and took hold of her hand. "Wow this is hard...I love you Mami. I always will." She said passing the mike to him and stepping away with her son.
"Thank you all for coming." He said promptly. "Our family has suffered a great loss these past few days, and your support has meant everything. I want to commend my wife and Emilio for being so strong during such trying times. Please join us for the burial as we say our final goodbyes." They exited the funeral and all drove down together to the cemetery. There the priest said a last prayer, and the family said goodbye as Ana's casket was lowered into the earth.
"Ay no, ay no!" Letty's aunt cried as she fell to the ground with sobs. "No puede ser! No puede ser!" (It can't be. It can't be!) Dom and Letty's cousins escorted Amparo back to her vehicle. Alexus was soothing an inconsolable Mazda who turned away as the casket continued lower six feet into the ground. Jensen continued to support Milo. The boys, being so close in age, had always had a strong bond. Letty rested her head on Tony's shoulder.
"This really is goodbye, huh?" She asked him stoically.
"You can always visit. She'll need the company." Letty looked up at the man and gave him an endearing smile.
"Mami is everyone going to be okay?" A confused Axel asked Letty in Dom's arms. He was too young to truly grasp the concept of death.
"I sure hope so Papa."
"I hate seeing you cry. It makes me sad."
"I'll try not to baby." Letty said hugging and kissing her youngest child.
