Chapter 22: You gotta do what your heart tells you

Nathan still stood there. Just debating what to say back to Haley.

" Hales. I know your trying to help me. But...I kinda feel like...your just saying this because Dan died."

"Nathan..."

" Haley. Just a few days ago I asked you that exact same question. And you turned me down. Now all of a sudden you change your mind. And conveniently right after my father has just died. Haley, I think it's too soon."

" Nate. A few days ago that's what I was saying and you looked at me like I was crazy. What would make you change like that?"

" Nothing. I've just been thinking. And you were right. And plus...I thought we had a deal. One month to get to know Holly. It's been one day."

" I know. By the way...how'd that go?"

" Fine. Just something between us."

" Okay. Great. Then if she likes you. And Nathan...well.. he loves you. And I love you. Then why would you even have to think about that?"

" Because...I've realized in the last few days since my dad died...that I need to be the best person I can be. I never want to be like Dan was. He might have been named worst father ever. And right now...I feel like him. Which I never wanted to feel like. I missed out on sixteen years of my kids lives because I was stubborn and selfish. And so was Dan with Lucas. The exact same way. I got mad at you cause you left and just couldn't understand. And, Haley the truth is...I always did remember that day you came to see me. I remember what you were wearing. Your expressions on your face and the look in your eyes. But...I turned you away. Cause I was scared and a coward. Ever since that day...I always wondered...'did she really have a baby?' ' Is my child out there wondering things about me' ' Did I make the wrong choice that day?' ' Or was she really lying just to get you back?'. I never knew the truth, Haley. And I always felt like a part of me was Dan. That I was just as bad as him. Then...when you came back here all I could think about was how I'd become him. I just don't want to be that person anymore, Haley." Nathan said with tears rolling down his face while his wife pulled him into a hug.

" Nathan...you don't have to be. You are your own person. And I never came and tried to talk to you. But I could've.You didn't make the wrong choice. I did. I did the day I left. And the day I told you I was pregnant. I gave up to soon. And I was wrong the day Nathan and Holly were born. And on their first birthday and on their sixteeth birthday. I should've called you. But you need to know, Nate...you will never be Dan. Cause you know what? You have something Dan never did?"

" What's that?"

" You have a soul. You have a heart inside that chest. And you know how to love. Something he never did. Now...if you don't want to move in here right now, that's fine. But...I love you. And I wanna be with you. But if want to wait then we will. Okay?"

" Okay. Thanks. I just...feel like...if I just move in here then the kids will be unhappy. And I don't want that. And you either. But if you think it wouldn't change anything. Then I will."

" Well...how about I ask our troublesome children and we'll go from there, okay?"

" Yeah...sounds good. So...I'm gonna go see Luke. Try and talk to him. So i'll see you later."

" Yeah...I'll see you later." Haley said as Nathan walked closer to her and leaned down and kissed her gently. Then pulled apart a few seconds later.

" Thanks, Hales. I love you."

" I love you,too."

Nathan then walked out and headed to Luke's.

-----------

Still at Haley's

Haley walked into the living room to find her children just talking nicely.

" Hey guys. How you doing?" Haley asked as she walked into the room.

" Okay. I guess. Just kinda feel so bad." Nathan said back to his mother.

" I know, Nate. And it's okay to feel that way."

" But, Mom...I never even got a chance to know him. I saw him once and Dad just rushed him out and he seemed so..."

" Mean." Holly finished her brother's sentence

" Yeah." Nate said

" To tell you guys the truth...your grandfather...wasn't the nicest person. As long as I've known him. He was either nasty or rotten. But never told your dad once, ' Good Job, Son.' Only ' You could do better then that, Nate' and just push him harder."

" I know. But, Mom. I never even got to say one word. Not even ' Hello'. That's what I feel bad about. And I just don't know how to act around Dad now." Nathan told his mother

" Just act the same, you guys. Your father is dealing with this in probably not the best way. But he is. He's just thinking of the ways he is like Dan. How he has made choices he regrets. But if there's one thing I know about your father is that he never wanted to be like his father. And he just needs some help to make sure he doesn't."

" What can we do, mom?" Holly asked

" Hol, just be nice. Give him a hand. Talk to him. Let him know he's important to you guys. Cause he needs that right now. All he keeps thinking is how he missed out on sixteen years of you lives. Just like Dan did to Uncle Lucas. But...let him be different. Show him he is. What ever that might be."

" Okay, mom. We will. But how can we?" Nathan asked

" Well, I'm not sure, Nathan. But I know in that big heart of yours you'll fine the right words. You too, Holly. You two have as big a heart as your father."

" Okay. We'll do it." Holly replied

" Great. Well, while were on the subject of your dad, then I have a question for you."

" Okay." Nathan said

" What is it?" Holly asked.

" Well, your dad asked this a few weeks back and I wasn't sure how to react. But now with him losing his father and everthing. I think it might be a good idea. To be near people who care about him. But he wanted me to have you guys approve it first. So...how would you feel... if your father moved in her?" Haley asked her kids

Haley sat there waiting for their reply. While she had a feeling her son would love the idea while her daughter would hate it.

-------------

Lucas' House

Lucas came home that day and was still being distant. Not really talking much and just seemed to be staring into space all the time.

Nathan quietly knocked on Lucas' door and then opened it. He assumed that he would be resting in bed so he just decided to walk in.

" Hey, Luke."

" Nathan."

" How you doing? Better. Just thought I'd stop by and see." Lucas didn't say anything. Just stared straight ahead." Lucas. Please talk to me."

" I can't, Nate."

" Why?"

" Cause I resented him all my life and now I can't get that back."

" But...you can just think of it as...he didn't want to be apart of your life...so you got the better end of the deal."

" But I really didn't. I grew up without a father. And now he's dead. And I can't change that."

" No. But...you grew up with Keith. You didn't need Dan. Cause you had him. You didn't miss out on anything. I didn't learn much from him. Except how to shoot a free throw and how to haze my brother. That's all I learned. While you had a father influence I would've killed for. So, Luke...don't feel bad. Just think of it as you knew him. And had a few good times with him. Just remember those. Since I'm trying to remember those parts of my life."

" Yeah. Me too. But I do."

Nathan finally got Lucas to talk and they talked for a while longer.

" So...Nate...how are things with Haley? I mean...are you and her..."

" Yeah. We are."

" That's great."

" Yeah. It is. But...I don't know. I asked her something last week and we decided to wait with it all. But now that Dan died she wants to. And I'm just afraid that, that's the only reason."

"What did you ask her?"

" If she wanted to move in together?" Nathan replied to his brother.

Lucas looked at him shocked. Not sure what to say. This was a surprise to him. Yet his brother and best friend seemed to be unsure of what to do so he would have to give his advice.

" Wow."

" Yeah."

" Well, what did you say when she asked you?"

" I wasn't sure what to say. I was sure it was because Dan died. Cause a few days earlier she said she wanted to wait a month or two. So...how could someone just change like that. So, what do you think I should do, Luke?"

" I don't know, Nate. But I know you. And I know her. And you'll both make the right decision. You just gotta do what you heart tells you to."

Nathan sat there think. He knew Lucas was right. He rarely thought so. But if he dug deep then he could decide what to do and make sure it was the right think to do,