A/N: Happy New year! This will be my last day for a week or two since I'm heading back to work. Let me know what you think!

Guest: I hear you, I really do. It's a struggle I had when I decided to write Letty with this depression. You can disagree, but my mindset is that her sadness has become more than just grief. She's suffering from a real illness that is just as bad as any physical disease. It makes you act out of character. It's not logical. I've worked with people with depression before who lost their homes and custody of their children because they could no longer function or do simple daily tasks. In this fic Dom isn't simply letting her be a shitty mother, he's trying to support her and has grown frustrated and resentful. As much control as a person would want to have, he can't shake the depression out of her and I don't think he would argue with her in front of them because that would be worse. She can't just put on an act because that's not how the disorder works.

"So how was the game? I noticed the Chargers won." Claude asked Letty as they sat in his office.

"It was amazing. I love watching my son play." Letty responded uncomfortably. She found herself continuously distracted with the art all over the room. "You have quite the collection." She commented. Despite having seen the man regularly a number of times before, it was her first official session as his patient. They had never entered his office before. The thought of therapy did not sit well with her because Letty did not think of herself as weak enough to be mentally ill. Nonetheless, she was and needed to come to terms with it if she wanted any chances of restoring her family.

"Thank you. Most of them are from my patients. I think their work is a symbol of their progress."

"Oh"

"So" He said clapping his hands together. "How did things go with your husband?" Letty hesitated.

"They did and then they didn't."

"How so?"

"It's embarrassing." She said trying to dismiss the topic.

"Are you referring to a sexual scenario?"

"Err…"

"We're all sexual beings. It's nothing to be ashamed about. Let alone in a marriage. How long have you been together?"

"Twenty-eight years"

"That's an impressive amount of time considering your age. You're an attractive woman. I'm sure the two of you had periods of time where you were very active with one another."

"Trust me before a few months ago sex was never an issue. If there was a medal for fucking your husband I probably would have won it." Claude smiled trying to suppress a snicker.

"That's an interesting way of putting it."

"This is going to sound crude, but I did it all, from public places to role playing. I didn't get knocked up four times just because we like to cuddle."

"You sound very adventurous." The man told her making Letty slight self-conscious about revealing such information. "Don't worry it's not a bad thing."

"I know it's just weird. I only talk about this stuff with my best friends, and you're a man who I don't know well."

"Trust me as a thirty-six year old man who listens to people for a living, I've heard it all and tried a few things myself."

"I guess." Letty shrugged nervously.

"So lets get back to you."

"Ok"

"Did your sexual activity stop abruptly?"

"I just don't feel sexual anymore, at least not on a regular basis."

"Do elaborate." He encouraged as he jotted in his notebook.

"I can't believe I'm talking about this…" Letty responded shaking her head.

"It's okay. Remember nothing will leave this room."

"I wanted to…I mean I really…wanted to…"

"Have sex?"

"and he didn't…well I wouldn't say he didn't, but he stopped it."

"So you were going to have sex, but he cut things off. Did you guys talk about it before hand since you hadn't been intimate for quite some time?"

"Granted I did have a few cocktails before hand, but I've been with the man for years. I think I know when he's ready to go."

"But you said he wasn't"

"Oh no, he was good to go. Junior never lies to me."

"He had an erection?" Claude asked in clarification.

"Um…yup"

"But it still didn't happen"

"We were kissing and rubbing all up on each other, and then he just stopped. It was the first time he's ever done that."

"Did he give an excuse?"

"He said I hurt him and didn't think he could handle sleeping with me to then have nothing change. I guess I get it. It's only fair, but I couldn't help but feel rejected. I felt like part of him didn't want me."

"How did you hurt him? Did you go outside of your marriage?"

"Do I look like someone who would do that?" Letty asked furrowing her eyebrows.

"I don't mean for you to take offense. I only ask because, it is incredibly common."

"No, never", She answered shortly.

"Have you ever wanted to?"

"No, I love my husband."

"You can love someone and still have an affair. I see it all the time."

"I disagree. Dom would end up in prison if he ever thought I was cheating."

"How so?"

"You don't know my husband. He would kill the other man. He's very possessive, or at least he used to be."

"And you're okay with that? With his possessiveness I mean?"

"I'm very similar."

"I wouldn't have pinned you for it." Letty smirked at his comment.

"Age has come with finesse, but I've had may fair run-ins with groupies. I still do actually."

"How do you deal with that?"

"Listen once a woman gets a whiff of me, she goes for the hills. I don't play around."

"Do you confront or threaten them?"

"Absolutely" Letty said without hesitation. "One time back when we were young, and he was trying to go pro. I caught his assistant trying to blow him."

"What?"

"Yeah, she was a ballsy broad. I went into this blackout rage. And the next thing I know, I'm smashing her face in. The girl was unrecognizable by the end of it. She needed surgery. They wanted to press charges. It became an ordeal."

"And how did you work things out?" Claude asked intrigued.

"My mother of all people, who by the way was always skeptical of him, was the one who sat me down and encouraged us to get back together. I was floored. There she was this woman, who shits on every man to ever exist, was in his corner. I didn't voice it, but I knew I was going to go back. I loved him too much. I got to give it to him though. Dom was a trooper. He got beat on a couple times, and kept coming back groveling. He was able to get the girl to admit to what she did."

"Do you feel that same way now? How old were you?"

"I was a twenty year old kid with a toddler. I think if anything, those feelings would be stronger because we've built so much."

"Interesting"

"I thought he was cheating on me a few week's ago. He let me think it too. I swear to God I was about to buy a gun."

"A gun?" Claude asked in shock.

"Granted it probably would never go that far, but the thought crossed my mind." Letty clarified. "I wouldn't have killed her, but she'd be in the hospital for a few days."

"You mentioned he let you think he was cheating. Did he tell you why?"

"He said he wanted to see if I still cared."

"And why would he think that you wouldn't care?"

"I guess it's probably the fact that we've been sleeping in separate rooms, and I wasn't talking to him."

"Were you angry with him?"

"Not particularly. I've just been angry at the world with no one or anything to take it out on. I wasn't acting like his wife. He's very used to me catering to him, and being very affectionate. I haven't been able to do that anymore." She told him solemnly. "I was pushing him away, and then I made this rude comment about his mother dying. It got ugly, and he decided to give me space. "

"Why?"

"Because all I could feel was pain and loss; the world stopped making sense. I couldn't even be around my kids." Letty said beginning to tear up. "That's the worst part. I was pushing them away too. My older boys don't need me as much, so they mostly just check-up on me. But my daughter and youngest need me all the time, and I couldn't get the fuck out of bed. I literally could not move. Mazda would come in and bring me food that I wouldn't touch and Axel would try to read me his bedtime stories to make me feel better, but I would snap or ignore them." She paused pensively. "Do you have children"

"No, but I can still try to understand."

"You never want to be the source for why your child is suffering, and that's exactly what I became. The one thing I swore I would never do because that's what my mom did to me, and I know how shitty that feels. I really hate myself for it, but I can't snap out of it."

"You can't snap out of depression. It doesn't work that way. I sense guilt coming from you."

"I do. I feel incredibly guilty. It's not fair to them, and Dom…he just…he…"

"Did he blame you? Target you?"

"Wouldn't you? He loves his kids more than anything in the world. He's a great father. I know he looks at me differently."

"Has he said this?"

"He doesn't have to. I can just tell. Dom used to look at me like I was the most amazing creature to ever walk the planet, and now it's like…" Letty attempted to explain as she choked up. Claude passed her a box a tissues as she gathered herself. "Thank you", she said as blew her nose.

"Of course", he said caressing her arm in comfort.

"Now it's like I'm a fucking disappointment. I've never felt so rejected, and alone…I just feel low. I can't look in the mirror anymore, and I know everything that has gone wrong is my fault.

"I wouldn't say it's your fault."

"I know it is. I've been terrible, but I don't know how to get better."

"It just takes time. You were very guarded when you came in here, and now you're talking. That's a step in the right direction."

"But I still can't talk to him. It's hard for me. I just think that everything is hopeless."

"I assure you that it is not. Let's talk about your mother. I want you to walk me through when she passed."

"Let's not"

"It seems to me that her death was a trigger for you. I think you can't make progress until you've come to terms with what happened."

"I don't think that's possible. When my mother passed I couldn't close my eyes without seeing her cold dead battered body laying on a gurney. It was haunting. I started asking myself these questions about the meaning of life and how fleeting it is. I was thinking about how much I hated the drunk driver that killed my mother, and how it wasn't fair that he did not get to live and suffer too. I wasn't thinking about my career or my family. I wasn't thinking about sex. I was thinking about her."

"Was your husband pressuring you?"

"No, quite the opposite. Nonetheless, I couldn't handle simple things like him kissing me or holding my hand. Everything lost its meaning and felt wrong. I didn't want to be in my own body. I couldn't express myself to him. I don't even think I'm expressing myself well to you!"

"So you stopped accepting all his advances later on."

"I don't know to tell you the truth. I was so checked out, and on sedatives. I felt like a walking zombie."

"Are you still taking the sedatives?"

"No, it's been about three weeks. I couldn't refill the prescription, and I also didn't want to. I was crying one minute and passed out the next. I think they made me worse. Dom would try to comfort me and I wouldn't respond, or I'd yell at him. I know it wasn't okay. I'm very ashamed about it."

"Ashamed of what exactly?"

"Of falling off my pedestal," Letty informed him wiping her tears away. "I miss the way he used to look at me."

"You mentioned that before, what way was that exactly?"

"Like I was worthy"

"So you don't think he sees you this way? You don't think your worthy of that adoration?"

"No, I let him down. I let everyone down because I was weak."

"Don't you think you're being a bit harsh? Do you think that maybe you put him on pedestal as well?"

"No, I should have been better. I should have been able to handle all of it."

"I disagree. It takes a strong person to admit they need help coping. People suffer in silence for years and destroy their lives in the process. You're not doing that. I think you need to gain the confidence that you can be great."

"That's the thing. I don't think I can."

"I see something special in you. I'm positive you will get to where you want to be. You need patience with yourself."

"I've never been a patient person."

"It's never too late to start." He told her with a smile that she then returned. "Has the sketch book helped these last few days?"

"Oh yes, tremendously. Whenever I felt down, I started to draw and immediately felt better."

"Do you draw when you're happy?"

"No because usually I'm with the kids or with someone and I can't start drawing while I'm with them. That would just be weird."

"This is what I propose for next week. I want you to try to draw things that make you happy. Do you think you can do that?"

"I sure hope so." Letty answered before ending her session. It was emotionally exhausting leaving the art center, but she did feel better. Yet, she did not want her family knowing about her therapy. The raven Latina made her way back home after running a couple of errands. She did not want have to talk about what she been working through.

While she was out, her Daughter had plans of her own. "Why don't we set them up on a date?" Mazda suggested to her brother as she did homework in the kitchen.

"That's not a bad idea Zoom." Jensen answered back cheekily.

"Why are you so mean?"

"What did I say?"

"You know how I feel about that commercial.

"They barely play it anymore."

"So?"

"I wasn't the one who named you after a car brand with the catchiest jingle known to man."

"Shut-up, no it's not. People only know it because you like to hum it to piss me off."

"Whatever, so this date? What were you thinking?"

"I'm not sure yet."

"I think they're better. Don't you?"

"They're still not sleeping in the same room."

"Details" Jensen told as scavenged through the fridge. "I caught them talking to each other yesterday. They were laughing, but then Papi got a call."

"Really?" Mazda asked intrigued.

"Mhm"

"Do you know what it was about?"

"No, I didn't want to interrupt it."

"True" Mazda shrugged. "Do you have any ideas on where they should go?"

"I have to think about it. Pa and I are gonna spend some time on your engine tomorrow, so maybe I'll come up with something then."

"I want the V12." Mazda insisted.

"It's my biggest masterpiece, but Mami thinks it will unbalance the ride. It's a lot larger than your standard engine."

"But it didn't unbalance the car when we tried it out", the young girl whined.

"By the way don't tell them about that. They won't like it."

"You built the damn thing. They know that."

"With they're money; I didn't tell them everything that was in it. Lets keep that between you and I."

"Whatever", Mazda said rolling her eyes. "Speaking about keeping things between you and I."

"What do you want?"

"There's a party Saturday."

"No", he said cutting her off.

"Come on! Please! I used to cover for you all the time. You used to bring girls over and everything!"
"That's different?"

"How is it different?"

"I'm six-foot, I work out, and almost 200 pounds. I'm not gonna get attacked on the street at 2 AM because I look good."

"What are you talking about? I've been in self defense classes since I was six."

"You know that shit don't work. You've never had to fight anyone in your life let alone a man double your size."

"Tell that to Tiffany." Mazda said raising an eyebrow.

"A preppy Barbie doesn't count. The girl never had a chance. I wouldn't call that a fight. That was just beat down."

"I got suspended for a week." Mazda argued.

"They overreacted." Jensen shrugged.

"Whatever, why don't you drop me off and pick me up then?"

"Because I have a life"

"Jensen I'm going to go with or without your help."

"Well if you get caught I don't know shit."

"Perfect", she smiled.

"You better have that night planned out to the T. I don't ten phone calls from you like last time."

"Everyone was drunk what did you want me to do."

"I don't know. Pick better friends?"

"You're so annoying."

"So are you." Mazda rolled her eyes and continued their previous conversation."

"I think Papi should take Mami to 'La Cantina'. They used to love it there."

"I don't think Mami is up for much karaoke."

"Or maybe they can do an art class together. You know like that scene in ghost when they're making pottery."

"Life isn't a movie though."

"But Mami is all into her art now. It makes her happy. Maybe if he could be apart of it...I don't know."

"You may be on to something kid."

"I think I remember the place. It was called art something…art…Zen Art!"

"What a shitty name"

"Actually I didn't like that place. The guy liked Mami a little too much. It's a good thing she hasn't gone back. I'm sure we can find another spot."

"Find it, and I'll pay for it."

"I'll look it up right now." The young girl said as she started searching, but was soon interrupted by her mother a few minutes after.

"What are you looking up?" Letty asked her. Mazda quickly closed her computer screen.

"Oh nothing just racing outfits for the formula three race."

"Another one?"

"Mami, I can't wear the same thing every time. You don't."

"That's different. I have to wear those because of my sponsors. You don't have sponsors yet."

"I'll sponsor her." Jensen offered.

"Aren't you sweet." Letty told her son growing suspicious. "What are you two up to? You're in here, getting along. It's weird."

"I'm not allowed to love my sister?"

"It's not your nature."

"Maybe I've turned over a new leaf."

"I don't even believe that." Mazda voiced.

"Where have you been all day Mami?"

"Um…I had a few meetings downtown." Letty lied.

"You know I was thinking that maybe it would be a good idea if we took another art class, but with everyone. Jensen and Papi can come because they didn't go last time."

"Err…"

"I found out about this cool pottery place." Mazda continued to propose ignoring her mother's hesitation.

"I don't know much about pottery."

"Isn't that the fun part?" Jensen offered noticing her reaction.

"I guess."

"I think Papi will like it. He likes putting stuff together."

"Uh…sure when were you thinking of doing this?"

"Why not tonight? He should be back soon."

"That may be too soon."

"You're right. Tomorrow's better. I'll call Papi now." Mazda told her getting on the phone out to call her father immediately.

"You know what Ma?" Jensen began. "I think you and Papi need some alone time. Why don't the two of you just go without us?"

"I don't know about all that. I think it'd be fun if we all went together." Letty felt cornered and was unsure why.

"I think that's a great idea Jensen!" Mazda said just as Dom picked up. "Papi?"

"Hey baby", he greeted her.

"Mami wants you to take her to a pottery class." She said walking into another room.

"Your mother wants me to take her somewhere? She can't take herself?"

"No it's you two. You know like a date?"

"Really?"

"Is that weird?"

"A little"

"Why? You guys used to have date night all the time. She's really excited about it."

"That was be-" Dom cut himself off. He did not discuss his marriage with his children. "You know what? Why not?" Mazda grinned from ear to ear.

"Fantastic! I'll book it now!"