After Gail's melt down the two talked. Really talked. They laid out all of their questions and concerns, fears and hopes, and came to an understanding. Gail still wasn't one hundred percent sure about the baby, or how she would do, but she was going to try and put her faith into Holly. She'd said Gail was just as much a parent as she was, and she was that unless she didn't want to be.

She had options.

She could stay and cram every piece of knowledge she could about being a mom, and in the next three weeks be one. Her and Holly could figure out what they were to each other along the way. Or she could choose to move out, not be a mom, and try to be friends with Holly. Because Holly couldn't have her living there, in their home, if she didn't want their life. She couldn't bare to see her everyday, helping with the baby but not being apart of them, eating dinner together but it never being quite right because Gail wouldn't really be home. She wouldn't be Holly's, she wouldn't be mom, she would be a friend. And Holly wasn't even sure she could live with that, but she didn't even want to entertain the idea of a life where Gail wasn't apart of it, not after San Francisco.

So Gail had a lot to consider. A life to choose. And it had to made in the next three weeks, which was when Holly was due.

She'd woken up Gail Peck, 27 and recently dumped with a knife in her back, proving yet again that she would never be happy. Never be enough. She laid in the bed and instantly dreaded having her mother come and yell at her about all of her mistakes, she wasn't even thinking about how she got there or what had happened, she only worried that she would have no escape from her impending disappointment speech. And then she opened her eyes and didn't find her brother, or someone from the station, or one of her so called friends. No, she had a gorgeous brunette wearing nerdy glasses, and told her of a life that she had secretly always wanted. And that life was apparently the one she made for herself.

Everything she'd known had been flipped on its head. And she had to choose whether she could handle everything that went with it.

Gail wanted to. She really really did, more than she ever wanted anything. Holly made her feel safe, at peace, she didn't find herself hiding when around the comfort of the brunette. And she didn't want to lose that. She actually wanted to keep all of those feelings forever. And it wasn't just the feelings Holly elicited she wanted forever, it was also Holly's smile, the shy one where half of her mouth pulled up farther than the other in an attempt to not show how happy she really was. It was the laugh that bent her over, it was the random facts about nothing, it was taking her glasses off her face when she fell asleep with them on, it was her hugs, it was the tears that streamed down her face when the swiffer commercial played before they could change the channel, it was her caring heart and quick wit. It was her. Gail wanted her, as much as she could get for as long as she'd be blessed with it.

But there was pressure and responsibility, promises she had to keep no matter what, not running being the biggest problem of all. Gail could deal with the pressure and responsibility, she'd become a pro at it when needed, and she knew she couldn't not fulfill a promise to Holly -she'd do anything for the doctor. It was not running away that held her back.

How could she promise that? Gail Peck was known for running, for making a mess and using it as an excuse to leave. It was her trade mark, what made her a Peck. Steve did it, he did the biggest self sabotage anyone could, and he was the strongest person Gail knew. And he couldn't stop himself, so what could make her believe she do any better?

"Sweetie, Traci and Leo just pulled in." Holly poked her head into their bed room.

"K. I'll be out in a sec." Gail replied from the en suite. She put the finishing touches on her too casual outfit and gave one last deep breath before heading down to their guests. She was nervous, even after talking with Traci a bunch since she got out of the hospital, it was still nerve wracking to be having her over for dinner. And Leo, she hadn't seen the kid in four years, and in the pictures Traci had shown her Leo wasn't much of a child anymore.

"Where's the missus?" Traci asked with a smile in her voice.

"Right here." Gail said, rounding the corner before Holly could even open her mouth. There in the doorway stood Traci taking off her coat, Holly holding a bottle of wine, and Leo bent over unlacing his shoes. Her chest heaved for a second, Leo was so big compared to what she remembered.

"You clean up well, Gail." The detective smiled.

"You don't do too bad yourself." Gail repaid the compliment, happy to let Traci slip by her after a quick hug. "Hey, buddy."

Leo straightened out, tossing his shoes to the side and meeting her gaze. "Hey, Gail. How're you feeling?" His smile was the same as it always had been, big and toothy, very much like his mothers. But his voice was different, Traci had told her about how big of an affect puberty was having on the boy she once knew.

"I'm doing good, a little sore and still trying to get on grip on reality, but good. How about you?" Gail grinned.

"Happy you're back from your UC." Leo hugged her, and for the first time she didn't need to bend down for it, the curly haired boy was just tall enough for her. Gail hugged him back and held on tight.

"I'm not all back y'know. You being this tall, and your voice changing is very weird." She chuckled into his shoulder.

Leo pulled back enough to look her in the eye. "You don't have to remember the past four years for me to still be happy you're here. You are my favourite Aunt for more than just that y'know."

"When did you get so unabashedly sweet?" She breathed and took a step back with one last squeeze.

"I learned from someone very special that it was okay." Leo shrugged. "But that's talk for another time, I heard Holly made my favourite."

Dinner hadn't been as awkward as Gail had feared. After that moment with Leo her memory loss hadn't been brought up, no one hesitated when calling Gail Holly's wife or the baby's mom, it wasn't even hard or unpleasant to talk about the baby. In fact they talked about the baby for at least ten minutes, imagining what they looked like, what they'd be like, whether they were a girl or boy and when they'd be born. They had a normal dinner together to catch up and hang out.

"Can I ask how you're really doing or is that too much?" Traci looked to the blonde beside her. They were out on the porch, each with a glass of the wine Traci had brought.

"Overwhelmed but in an okay way?" Her brows brought together in thought. "I'm happy, happier then I ever thought possible, more then I thought I would ever get. Ever deserve. I definitely know why I married Holly. But-" Gail trailed off with a loss for words. They were caught in her chest, she'd never been one for laying out her feelings, at least not before Holly. But she was trying.

"You're afraid of your track record?" The detective supplied.

Gail took a sip of her wine and looked out at the night sky. "Yeah. I don't know if I can keep myself from running, or screwing everything up. I'm not the person you all know, in my head I'm still 27 and a fuck up. I'm not 31 year old wife, mother, T.O. extraordinaire."

There was a long lull as they sip their wine and watched what little stars shone in the city sky. They could just hear Leo and Holly laughing as they prepared desert, a beautiful song to Gail's ears.

"I have to chose whether I'm in this or not before the baby gets here. I don't know what to do." She said just above a whisper.

"No expectations, no rules and worries, which do you want?" Traci didn't look at her friend.

"I want to stay."

"Then that's what you do. It's not as hard as you're making it be, Gail, you've done it. Sure you were in a different place when you made the decision the first time, but the outcome won't change because of it. You love her and she loves you, so you'll fight for it. You will mess up and you will have nights you don't sleep in the same bed, but you will look in her eyes and choose to stay. Besides, how much more overwhelming can life get from this moment?"

"It is pretty hard to top." Gail chuckled without humour.

"And where are you?"

Gail smiled then. "Here."

"Exactly my point." She tipped her glass toward the blonde and waited for her to take notice. When Gail looked at her she smiled gently, comfortingly. "You got this."

"Holly?"

The brunette hummed in reply, not taking her eyes off her book.

"Would it be okay if I touched your stomach?" She asked quietly. She'd been wanting to trace her fingers across it since Holly had laid her head in her lap, but was too nervous to do it without permission and too shy to ask for the past half hour.

"You can touch my stomach whenever you want to. And if you wanted to talk to it I wouldn't tell anyone." Holly stayed with her nose in her book but Gail could tell she wasn't reading.

She nodded to herself, almost in encouragement. It would be the first time she purposely touched Holly's tummy while they were awake. Gail slowly reached out a hand and gently pressed it against Holly protruding baby bump. It was just as it always was, firm but still squishy, and she could just make out the undeniable feel of the baby. A knee she thought.

Moments passed and Gail grew calmer about her hand on Holly's tummy, and she began to caress it, running her hand up and down. She wondered what it looked like, what it would feel like bare, but there was no way she could ask Holly. That would be out of line with where they stood with one another.

"Say I wanted to talk to the baby." Gail begun and waited for the warm eyes to meet hers before continuing. "How would I go about doing that?"

"It doesn't really matter what you say, I usually just talk nonsense to them. You can talk about your day, tell them about all that they'll see when they get out, stories are a popular thing. There some books for them in the nursery if you want to get one and read it." Holly suggested.

"But if I get up that means you do too."

Holly gave a crooked smirk. "How about we go to bed. It'd be more comfortable for you to talk to them. You could lay next to them and your voice will be louder that way. Though they already know your voice, so I don't think volume matters."

Gail's brows furrowed.

"They calm down when they hear you. Well most of the time they do, sometimes, like when you first get home or when we've been apart for a few hours, they do summersaults and dance around. It's rather adorable."

"Really?" Gail's voice almost came out in a choke. She didn't notice the tears until Holly reached up and wiped them away, a warm grin playing in her eyes.

"Well yeah, you're kind of our favourite person."

Gail didn't think twice about it, acting purely on emotion, she leaned down and kissed Holly. It was needy and comforting, and it tasted of chamomile tea. Gail didn't want it to stop. But she had to, her position did not give her a lot of time before back ached and her ribs screamed for room to breathe.

"Any book you'd like to hear?" Gail asked surprisingly casual in spite of what she felt. She wiggled her way out from under Holly's head and offered her wife a hand up.

The brunette seemed dazed but she took the proffered hand. She cleared her throat, "how about some Dr. Seuss?"

Later that night, when Holly was fast asleep and Gail was again woken by a kick from the baby, she made the promise to stay and fight. She chose them and their life.

Gail placed her hand on the side of Holly's stomach and wiggled in toward them, she molded herself around them and took a deep breath. She marveled in the feeling of Holly's hair against her nose, of the baby's movements slowly stopping as they fell back asleep, of how well they fit together. She let out the breath in contentment.

She could do it. She would stay.