Heyo! Aqua here, planning to stop procrastinating and move my ass into working on no game one life. Warning this chapter has the following shtick in it
Frozen reference
Anime reference/clips/ (and you can try to guess them)
4th wall breaking
Ye old yaoi reference
Some weird anime stuff (like fanservice)
Eren reacts to….anime clips! (italics is his thoughts and what's happening in his surroundings)
It started with one single experiment that triggered the heated torture of poor Eren Jaeger. The titan shifter took refuge in Humanity's strongest closet as the NEET siblings chased him around the castle. He felt the lingering scent of cleaning products dance around his nose. He soon regretted this decision when he heard a voice outside the closet.
"Ugh stupid shitty glasses and her Eren antics. Now she has the whole castle in chaos, *sigh* well time for my favourite time of the day. Pestering Erwin by cleaning his room and not giving any shits about what he thinks."
Eren immediately cursed under his breath and attempted to stand up, causing himself to hit a shelf. The door opened, Levi arched an eyebrow.
"What are we playing Jaeger? Hide and seek? Or how fast you can piss off your captain?" Levi asked with a monotone voice.
Eren vigorously shook his head.
Earlier today
Hanji was rummaging through her notes. The woman notice one thing…was there any way to make Eren turn into titan faster. Or rather to see how he can bleed. So she called Eren to her room.
The titan shifter walked up nervously to her room, he knocked it with fear.
"No Eren, she doesn't wanna build a snowman." A voice mocked, a chuckle escaped from Sora's mouth.
Eren did his best to understand the snowman reference…until Hanji opened the door. The boy fell on the floor, the squad leader smirked and picked him up with excitement.
"Oh Eren! Sora and Shiro showed me the wonderfulness of anime and especially this so-called 'fan-service'," the glasses woman squealed and suddenly she began to emit a dark aura. "And then it hit us…"
"There are more ways a man can bleed," Sora darkly grinned
"Let us experiment on you Eren…" Shiro whispered.
Eren's eyes bulged out as the threesome sauntered closer and closer…
Now
Levi turned his head and slammed the door. Eren placed his eye against the crack; he saw Sora's "I (heart) humanity shirt.
"He's not here and please don't bribe me, I'm not into animal girls."
The footsteps disappeared and Levi opened the closet door, without another word, the titan shifter scrambled out of his superior's sight.
Later
Eren took refuge in Erwin's office, hiding under the table. Erwin sighed and snapped his fingers, Jaeger pulled out the rubbish bin and Erwin threw another crumpled paper in the bin.
"Eren, are you sure you want to hide there?" The eyebrow man asked with a concerned tone, "Surely that you find this uncomfortabl-"
A loud crash of the door interrupted the man's offer, showing Levi in his cleaning clothes.
"It's time…"Levi tarted brandishing his trusty feather duster. Erwin sighed and rubbed his temples.
"Levi, have you heard of knocking? It's an art that is used nowadays." The blonde man sarcastically asked.
Levi shrugged and continued dusting Erwin's property. The short man paused and stared at the top of bookshelf, Erwin began chuckling.
"Ha, I guess you can't reach it." The eyebrow man mused
Levi clicked his tongue and marched to where Eren was crouching.
"Oi, Eren…get your ass here and kneel to the ground." The midget corporal ordered, Eren obediently knelt and Levi stood on his human stand.
"I SHIP IT!" a random voice called
I DON'T!
Levi glared, "oi author, shut up."
Man you're worse than Wiz and Boomstick. They'd only give me a five second head start get running…pft asshole
Levi threw a duster at the omnipresent author. Suddenly two figures grabbed Eren by the arms causing Levi to fall flat on his face…take that midget corporal! (alright alright enough 4th breaking hey! Stop chucking cleaning products my way!).
Erwin sighed as the captors and Eren left his room. "Thank god, peace and quiet." The commander took a deep breath and saw Levi glaring at the floor. To express his rage, Levi stormed to Erwin's desk and threw all the documents off the desk. He threw another glare at his superior and followed the loud footsteps of Hanji and Sora. A few minutes later, Petra and Oluo poked their heads in the doorway.
"Sir? D-did Levi just…make a mess?" Petra nervously asked.
Erwin nodded his head.
"YES! Ha! in your face Petra! This week's rations, like you said." Oluo rejoiced before biting his tongue….again…
In hanji's room
Eren screamed as he was buckled to the chair and Shiro held him down, even if she need a stool to stand on, she did a pretty good job at it.
"Alright Sora! Roll the clips!" Hanji ordered.
The perverted teen saluted the mad woman and clicked on the project.
(first clip)
A woman with wavy brown hair in a bikini prepared to throw some cards at a green-haired man.
She smirked and said with confidence "Alright! Let's do this again"
A blonde girl waves her hands attempting to stop her friend
Lucy: Wait! ****! The same tactic won't work on F****
Eren looked at both of those women...well focused on their chests. His face went bright red.
"C'mon Eren...you can do this...don't give them the satisfaction..."
Suddenly the cards transform into more women in bikinis
Eren's eyes began bulging "You're kidding me right?!"
The women formed into a wall and blocked the F*** guy from escaping.
All the women began calling to him, "F****-sama, look at me! Notice me!"
Oh he was noticing them alright, his face were bright red with embarrassment and little lovehearts began surrounding him.
Lucy:that is…sort of unsettling
Eren sighed, don't worry lady, you're not the only one who thinks that
(End the first clip)
Hanji sighed and took down some notes, Eren turned his head to see steam gushing out of Sora's nose. Clearly the sexy lady card wall was a lot for him but there were still more clips.
"Next up, the sexy tom and jerry fight!" Shiro whispered in Eren's ear
(Next clip)
A mouse-like woman with clothes that leave nothing to the imagination and began clicking her fingers
"ch-ch-che ch-ch-che. Don't you know? The cornered rat sometimes bite back" She mockingly smirked at a black cat.
The cat turns into her human form and saunters to her enemy, confronting the pink-haired woman.
"This is my turf don't you go seducing my men." The cat replied snarkly
A nearby man gasps at the two voluptuous woman and begin gasping at their chests. The mouse groped one of cat lady's breast.
"Hmp, you're pretty indecent" She sighed
"Hmp, coming from you." The sexualised cat smirked, whilst flipping the flap that covered her foe's equally large breasts
Eren felt sweat and steam drip from his body. None of the women of the survey corps could match their chests…wait!
Eren shook his head to snap him out of his dark thoughts and stared around the room. Hanji returned with an armful of tissue boxes as Sora's nose began to dribble with blood
"I need air!" He cried and began shaking Hanji
The eccentric lady shook her head, it wasn't a wise idea since Humanity's strongest was on a rampage and dedicated to finding his favourite titan pet.
The scene immediately altered to a kid with striped hair and glared at the two girls. Clearly he was unimpressed of it, he then suddenly grabbed one breast in each hand
"even your BOOBS are not the same size!" The boy howled
Suddenly the taller one took a blow on the boy's face, leaving a red mark on his cheek and growled "Well excuse ME for being SMALLER than my sister!"
(End the second clip)
The lights turned back on and Eren stared at Hanji with pleading eyes, his eyes said "please Hanji, stop this torture." But Hanji interpreted them to say "Keep going Hanji, I'm getting bored!" She sighed and set Sora on the floor to sit up. She began dabbing his nose with a tissue.
"Roll the clip Shiro." Hanji ordered
Shiro nodded and clicked the projector.
(Third clip)
A young boy was knelt against the floor, he began clutching what seemed to be a wall
"Se-se-sebastian" The child groaned
A man, who probably was Sebastian, sighed and told him to bear a little longer
Oh god…is this what I think it is? Eren thought
The child began writhing and screaming, with his back towards Sebastia…
(Clip ends unexpectedly)
A loud smashing noise causing Eren to turn his head. Levi, with veins popping on his head, took many deep breaths to soothe his anger.
"Levi-heichou!" The golden-eyed soldier rejoiced.
Finally someone was going to save him, the shorter man freed Eren and glared at the three psycho-paths…and back to Eren. He kicked upwards causing a spurt of blood to escape from his nose and thus turning him into a titan.
"THERE THAT'S HOW IT'S DONE!" He growled and punched Sora and Hanji. He glared at Shiro, what punishment could he conduct for her? He thought a bit. He obviously couldn't hit her, since she was only eleven and certainly could not leave her out in the wilderness. Levi stared at titan Eren and back at Shiro and smirked. He placed two blades on Shiro's hands.
"Why don't you cut him out? This'll be a good experience." Levi smiled
For an ordinary eleven year old, his smile seemed to look like: "hey kid, why don't you do something for Mr Levi." But Shiro knew his smile was saying: "You're in big trouble, ass up and start working"
Before she could open her mouth, Levi interrupted her question by dragging out the beaten up Sora and Hanji. She was alone.
A very serious ending
A blonde girl wandered around the outskirts of the military police. She had a ring with a sharp nail at the end. She looked as if she was crying…suddenly a bright light illuminated in front of her.
"Greetings," a child-like voice piped in "I know your problem Miss Leonhardt, and I've decided to be lenient to you…."
Annie clutched the hand with the ring on it "You have NO idea what they will do to me." She muttered.
Tet shook his head. "I'll give you a place to be free, where no one can tell you what to do. Everything is decided through a simple bet."
Annie raised an eyebrow, "If I help you, will you help me?"
Tet shrugged. "Is this a bet?"
Annie nodded her head.
ASCHENTE!
Author's note:…LE DERP! That was weird and I did my best to come back with my hiatus with a yang…eh eh? (*apple hits head*) alright alright enough references. Hopefully this was good.
Aqua out!