Everything belongs to Stephanie Meyers.
2. LONG NIGHT
Time is moving along swiftly, but not swiftly enough for the men in my household. They want this wedding over with. They're sick of hearing about it and having to do things for the upcoming nuptials. Can I blame them… hardly, because I am becoming quite annoyed with this wedding that is taking over our lives. It will be great when this day is over with. Once this day is over with, Bella and I will able to live the rest of our existence in peace and happiness. That is the only part I am excited for.
For this night, our last night together, would be the last night we would be Isabella Marie Swan and Edward Cullen. Tomorrow we will be Mr. & Mrs. Edward Cullen, something I have wished for since the moment I realized my love for her. Having specific things in mind for tonight –things I wanted to do, I was afraid this might not be possible because my brothers had other plans for the evening.
"Edward, don't forget we have plans tonight," Emmett reminded me as he entered my room.
"Emmett, it's our last night…"
"Forget it, Edward. It's tradition… and there's no getting out of it," Emmett demands.
"Emmett I have other plans for…" I plead with him only to be interrupted.
"You'd better cancel those plans, for we have our own plans this evening," Jasper appears.
"You two are impossible," I grumbled.
"Yeah we know, but you're still not getting out of tonight. See you later," Emmett stats as he laughs his way out of my room dragging Jasper with him.
I'm left to wonder how I can get out of tonight's obligatory tradition. Bachelor parties are meant for those dreading an end to their single status, something that I was definitely not. I was happy to end my rein as a single man, I can't wait to be married. There is no reason to celebrate my single days when I am so eager to have them end. Somehow, I knew that convincing them that this particular tradition is not worth imposing on me would be a waste of my time. Instead of wasting my words on them I decide to plan for something of my own.
Making my way out of my room and down the stairs, Rosalie and Esme are in the kitchen and I decide to join them.
"What are you guys doing?" I ask.
"Last minute preparations," Esme responds.
"Do you need help?" I offer.
"Sure, help Rose with these. I'm going to ask Alice something," Esme hands me what appears to be a napkin, than heads for the door.
"What do we do with these?" I asked, Rose.
"Here watch me," she takes the napkin and folds it in ways I never thought possible and when she is done the napkin looks like a bird. Is she serious? Does she really think I can do that? I grimace at her as she takes the napkin from me.
"Watch again. This is how you do it."
She folds the napkin as I watch. She makes it look so easy.
"See…" she looks at me, but I don't see. "Don't worry about it, Edward, I'll take care of these. Go be with Bella, that's where you want to be," she smiles wistfully.
"Thanks Rose."
"Edward…" she calls softy before I have a chance to leave.
"Yeah."
"I just want to say that I'm so happy for you and Bella. I know I haven't always been very supportive… I've had my reasons, as you know, for not accepting this relationship, but honestly I'm happy that you will be happy. You deserve it, so I wish you both every happiness in the world," she offers without a negative condemnation.
"Thank you, Rose. It means a lot to me, to have your support," I return to her side and do something I've haven't done with Rose very often. I hug her.
"Have fun tonight. See you later," she responds as she pats me on the back then lets me go.
"See you later."
Turning, I head out the back door through the forest and start running. Traveling through the forest it suddenly occurs to me that this is the last time I will make this trip. This will be the last time I will run to Bella's house to see her, from this night on she will be living under the same roof as me. All of the time. The thought sends a shrill of excitement through me, and I ran faster.
"I MISS YOU ALREADY."
"I don't need to leave. I can stay…"
"Mmm."
It is quiet for a long moment, just the thud of Bella's heart hammering, the broken rhythm of our ragged breaths, and the whisper of our lips moving in synchronization.
Her blood still sings to me, but the temptation is long past. The burning is still apparent, along with the desire, but keeping her alive and human has become a far greater desire than anything else. Certainly, her scent still causes my throat pain as if I were inhaling flames, but it is something I look forward to feeling because it lets me know she's alive and everything is as it should be.
Opening my eyes, I stare at the beautiful angel in my arms. Knowing she is mine and believing that she is real is beyond my comprehension. It amazes me to this day that she wants me, a monster, such as I am, but somehow she wants me. If that doesn't make me the luckiest man on this planet, then I don't know what will.
Her eyes open to find me staring at her. Our gazes lock and I swear I can see straight into her soul. It is so pure and so full of love it's hard to imagine she is meant for me. I still have moments when I wonder when someone will come and save her from me. There must be some sort of law against nature to prevent me from keeping her. Is there nothing here to protect her from me? Certainly, if there is a God, he will not allow this to happen.
I suppose she is protected from me in one way. A way that is still very unnerving to me. Her mind remains blank. Never even a peek or glimpse of her thoughts. I suppose that is their way of protecting her. And after all this time the level of frustration overwhelms me at times. Not knowing her thoughts drives me insane, but there are other times when I am happy not to know what she is thinking.
She pulls my face to hers again.
"Definitely staying," I murmur a moment later.
"No, no. It's your bachelor party. You have to go."
She says the words, but her fingers say something entirely different as she locks her fingers into my hair with one hand and presses tighter against the small of my back with the other. I stroke her face with my hands.
"Bachelor parties are designed for those who are sad to see the passing of their single days. I couldn't be more eager to have mine behind me. So there's really no point."
"True," she breaths against me.
Charlie slept obliviously in his room, which is almost as good as being alone. We are curled up on her small bed, intertwined as much as it is possible, considering the thick afghan she is wrapped in like a cocoon. I hate the necessity of it and wished to 'God', there was no reason for it, but until she is one of us the blanket stays.
Even though she has to remain covered up, I on the other hand, am another story emphasis clear by my shirt that is now lying on the floor. She runs her hand down my chest, tracing along my stomach. I shudder and a jolt of electricity runs through me as my mouth finds hers again. Carefully, she lets the tip of her tongue press against my lip pushing me to the edge… again.
I sigh and begin to pull away.
"Wait," she pleads as she grips my shoulders and hugs herself closer to me, wrapping her leg around my waist. "Practice makes perfect."
I laugh. "Well, we should be fairly close to perfection by this point, then, shouldn't we? Have you slept at all in the last month?"
"But this is the dress rehearsal," she reminds me, "and we've only practiced certain scenes. It's no time for playing safe."
Tension rise automatically after that statement. Thoughts swirl my mind, thoughts of my deal with her, a deal I'm not convinced I can hold up. When I imagine it… it's impossible. Thinking of it… painful.
"Bella…," I whisper.
"Don't start this again," she says. "A deal's a deal."
"I don't know. It's too hard to concentrate when you're with me like this. I –I can't think straight. I won't be able to control myself. You'll get hurt."
"I'll be fine."
"Bella…"
"Shh!" she presses her lips to mine attempting to calm me without success.
Admittedly, I should wait to have this discussion once we are married. To risk losing her now is silly, but once we are married it will be easier to back out of this deal. It will be easier to explain why this not a good idea.
"How are your feet?" I ask.
"Toasty warm," She answers, knowing that is not what I mean.
"Really? No second thoughts? It's not too late to change your mind."
"Are you trying to ditch me?"
I laugh. "Just making sure. I don't want you to do anything you're not sure about."
"I'm sure about you. The rest I can live through."
I have often wondered if she could survive losing everyone she has ever loved and if she knows what that really entails. "Can you?" I ask quietly. "I don't mean the wedding –which I am positive you will survive despite your qualms –but afterward… what about Renee, what about Charlie?"
She sighs. "I'll miss them."
"Angel and Ben and Jessica and Mike."
"I'll miss my friends, too," she smiles in the darkness. "Especially Mike. Oh, Mike! How will I go on?"
I growl, hating when she mocks me.
She laughs, but then turns serious. "Edward, we've been through this and through this. I know it will be hard, but this is what I want. I want you forever. One lifetime is simply not enough for me."
"Frozen forever at eighteen," I whisper, sadden by the thought.
"Every woman's dream come true," she teases.
"Never changing… never moving forward."
"What does that mean?"
Answering that is harder and I take a moment to really formulate how to respond. "Do you remember when we told Charlie we were getting married? And he thought you were… pregnant?"
"And he thought about shooting you," she guesses with a laugh. "Admit it –for one second, he honestly considered it."
I refuse to answer.
"What, Edward?"
"I just wish… well, I wish that he'd been right."
"Gah," she gaspes.
"More that there was some way he could have been. That we had that kind of potential. I hate taking that away from you, too."
She is quiet for a moment leaving me with the desire to read her mind… again. "I know what I'm doing."
"How could you know that, Bella? Look at my mother, look at my sister. It's not an easy sacrifice as you imagine."
"Esme and Rosalie get by just fine. If it's a problem later, we can do what Esme did –we'll adopt."
I sigh realizing that my reasoning once again is not working. When I do respond my voice is fiercer then I intended it to be. "It's not right! I don't want you to have to make sacrifices for me. I want to give you things, not take things away from you. I don't want to steal your future. If I were human…"
She puts her hand over my lips. "You are my future. Now stop. No moping, or I'm calling your brothers to come and get you. Maybe you need a bachelor party."
"I'm sorry. I am moping, aren't I? Must be the nerves."
"Are your feet cold?"
"Not in that sense. I've been waiting a century to marry you, Miss Swan. The wedding ceremony is the one thing I can't wait…" that is when I heard them, would they never leave me alone. "Oh, for the love of all that's holy!"
"What's wrong?"
Gritting my teeth. "You don't have to call my brothers. Apparently, Emmett and Jasper are not going to let me bow out tonight."
She clutches me closer for one second, then releases me. "Have fun."
There is a squeal against the window –someone deliberately scraping their nails across the glass to make a horrible noise. Bella shudders.
"If you don't send Edward out," Emmett hisses menacingly, "we're coming in after him!"
"Go," she laughs. "Before they break my house."
I roll my eyes, but get to my feet in one fluid motion, gabbing my shirt along the way. Leaning down I kiss her forehead.
"Get to sleep. You've got a big day tomorrow."
"Thanks! That's sure to help me wind down."
"I'll meet you at the altar."
"I'll be the one in white," she smiles.
I laugh. "Very convincing," turning I crouch down then leap out the window to my waiting brothers, landing on Emmett.
"You'd better not make him late," Bella murmurs, knowing we can hear.
Jasper climbs to her window to reassure her –and also calm her with his gift. Hopefully that would be enough to make her sleep. Hearing her next question to Jasper has me laughing.
"Jasper? What do vampires do for bachelor parties? You're not taking him to a strip club, are you?"
"Don't tell her anything!" Emmett growls beside me. I hit him as I laugh quietly… a strip club… that makes me laugh harder.
We leave Bella's house, returning to mine to pick up Carlisle before heading out. A traditional vampire bachelor party consisted of hunting for the night. Pretty much an ordinary night out for us. There is a small difference in these nights. Everyone feels the need to offer their advice. That is the reason I resisted this bachelor party in the first place. I thought everyone had already given me their advice.
After listening to the thoughts swirling around us now, maybe I was wrong. Maybe the boys just want a night to hunt… just the boys. Can it be that easy? Somehow I doubt it, but the thoughts emanating from everyone would suggest that. They are eager to hunt bigger game, so I know for certain we are going a distance. That makes me particularly nervous. My anxiety grows the further we go.
"Edward, we're going to a spot where they are having a problem with mountain lions. We know that's your favorite. I also know you don't like to go far, but don't worry the girls are watching over Bella," Carlisle offers as he slows his run to a jog.
"Thank you, Carlisle," I reply.
"I wanted to talk to you…"
"Ah, Carlisle, haven't we discussed everything already?" I whine, embarrassed already.
"No. There is something I have wanted to say on this night. I've waited almost a century for this night to arrive and I'm going to say this," he stops jogging and stands looking at me.
The others continued running. Carlisle reaches into his pocket and pulls out a little black box. I peer at for a moment, then look at him.
"I've waited a long time for this moment, a moment I was beginning to think would never come. But here we are… and I couldn't be more proud…"
"Carlisle…"
"Edward, you are my son. And I am a very proud father. The way you have conducted yourself throughout this whole situation. The way you went against every instinct you had, the way you love this girl makes me… makes me know I did something right by you. I love you and wish you and Bella all the happiness in the world. Knowing how much she has touched you I know it's the right thing and that everything will be good. This was something my father gave to me when he thought I became a man, it was a tradition to do this in my time, and I've been saving it for the right moment," Carlisle hands me the box.
Holding the box I lift the lid, nestled in the tiny box is a pocket watch. A very old, but stylish pocket watch. I lift it out turning it around to get a better view. On the back is an inscription.
"To my son, you make me so proud," speechless, that's what I am. "Carlisle."
"It's all true," he says to me with a smile.
"Why me? Why did you not give this to one of them?" I point to the forest.
"Edward, you were my first. You were the one who truly allowed me to be a father. The others, well, they were already established by the time they came to us, but you. You were so young, so innocent. I'm still not certain I've done right by you, but you allowed me to be your father, and I'm proud of the man you've become," Carlisle explains.
"Thank you, Carlisle. I'm not sure I've earned such acclamation, but thank you," I answer quietly.
"You have Edward. You are a wonderful man, don't ever doubt that," Carlisle offers. "Are you nervous about tomorrow?" he asks.
"No, this is all I ever wanted. The only thing that has me worried is after the wedding," I confess.
"Ah, the wedding night. Most people worry about that. Really I think it will be fine, I wouldn't say that if I didn't believe it," Carlisle tells me.
"I know, but I'm afraid you give me more faith then I deserve."
"Edward, you love her as much as anyone could, that will guide you in the right direction… trust me. You're better than you give yourself credit for… try to have some faith. I know that's a stretch for you, but just try… please," Carlisle pleads.
"I will. Thanks again for the watch, it was very thoughtful," I add.
With the conversation coming to an end, we stand for a moment in silence.
"We'd better catch up to them before they come looking for us," Carlisle says with a laugh.
"Let's go."
We take off running through the forest again. It isn't long before we end up finding the others. They sat no too far away waiting for us. Once we are all together again we begin running to our destination. My fears and anxieties about the events of tomorrow seem to drift away for the moment. My thoughts are on my conversation with Carlisle. Running over our discussion again and again. The things he said to me are incredible and I'm not convinced I've earned so much admiration, but I know I love him as much as he does me and that is a wonderful feeling. To know how he truly feels is extremely satisfying and for the first time in my existence I feel that things are finally going right for me.
We hunt all night… together as we used to, and it occurs to me that we will do this on many more occasions. Yes, Bella is leaving her human life behind her, but I still have my family and we will be with them from here on out. Nothing will ever come between us and that thought fills me with pleasure. Sure, she will be giving up a lot of things on her part, but she will be gaining some very precious things too, and until this moment I haven't given that much thought.
The family Bella will be gaining is second to none. They wouldn't replace the family she had now, but they could be a good stand in for them. They will make certain she is well taken care of. There will be nothing she will want. She will have everything. My family is fierce, loyal and strong, they already do anything to protect her. I know my family will love her as I do, they already do.
My worry is that she will want children something that will be lost to her forever. There is no way to provide that. I'm not convinced that she knows what that means… not truly. Yes, she says now that it's no big deal, but time changes things and the more time she has, the more desires change. If the day comes when she wants children and can't have them, would she resent me? How could she not? And if that happens what will I do?
Emmett pulls me from my thoughts… again.
"What are you doing? Changing your mind? Making an escape plan, maybe?" he says laughing as he waggles his eyebrows.
"Very funny, Emmett. No I was just thinking," I answer.
"That's all you do, Edward. Think. But not tonight. Now get up," Emmett says in a very serious tone, which makes me rise immediately from the ground. "Now let's go, we've got some things to do," He demands.
I follow without question. He is far too serious to disagree with at the moment. We resume the reason for being here. It feels good to hunt, to let myself go and rely purely on my senses. The rest of the night continues this way relieving some of the tension I was feeling earlier. This is exactly what I needed to make it through this wedding. Not that I am having any doubts about marrying Bella, but I do have doubts about Bella marrying me. The night of hunting washed them all away.
Until the sun rose.
With the sun on the horizon, rising higher and higher, so is my tension.
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