John's POV

The back of my head hurts and the pain comes in waves, it's progressive, each wave hurting more than other.

I open my eyes and all I see is black. Maybe I'm not awake – still dreaming. I narrow my eyes trying to adjust to the darkness and I manage to realize I'm facing a stone wall, that's when my memories of being inside the cave come back to me, hitting something with my head and passing out.

"Slay your demons, kid. Then you'll be able to sleep."

Bellamy? I snap out of my semi-unconscious delirium and move, changing my position so now I'm looking at the cave's ceiling.

"Demons? Am I in hell already?" I say, joking confidently, probably due to not being fully conscious yet. I rub my eyes.

I can see better now, and I see Bellamy sitting next to me. I also notice a little girl whose name, I believe, is Charlotte. For a second I wonder what a kid that young could have done to end up in lockup, and then I realize I'm staring too much so I look down and try to get up, but Bellamy grabs my arm before I can even stretch my legs.

"Wait, don't," he warns. I lose balance and he yanks me back down again. "You're wounded and the fog's still outside, there's nowhere to go yet. Sit down," he says.

I frown, expecting him to apologize but… who am I kidding? Bellamy's not the kind of guy who would apologize for being tough. After all, his bossy attitude after landing was one of the things that made us leave camp.

"Were you with Pascal and Trina?" he asks, staring right into my eyes. "We've been looking for you all day, why did you leave?"

I remain silent and look away the moment he mentions Pascal and Trina; I can't help but feel guilty about them dying.

"Are they…"

"…ye-mh..." is all I can manage to say.

"I'm sorry…" he says while giving me a -too tough for the situation- pat on the shoulder. "Get some sleep," he adds, "we'll get back to camp tomorrow."

I lay back on the cave's wall and look at Charlotte, who's long asleep by now. I freeze when I notice the knife in her hand, not so many children sleep with a knife as a teddy bear.

I frown and look back at Bellamy. "What's up with the knife?"

"It's okay she was… never mind, it's just okay," he says and closes his eyes while lying on the wall, just like me.

Light. I can see light from the inside of the cave so I get up and go to its entrance. Bellamy and Charlotte are there, for a second I'd forgotten I'm not alone in the cave.

"Anybody out here?" I hear Bellamy shout.

"Hey," I say while coming out of the cave and I pat Charlotte's shoulder and look at Bellamy.

Bellamy moves to a side so he's not giving me his back anymore; his way of saying hello, I guess.

"Jones!" He goes again.

"We're here!" someone answers into the woods.

Bellamy starts walking in the direction of the screaming and looks back to us to follow him.
We walk until we meet with a group of other three people from the camp.

"I lost sight of you. Where'd you go?" he asks them.

"We made it to a cave down there," one of the guys says.

"What was that?" adds another one.

"I don't know. Where's Atom?" Bellamy says, looking past the group we had just met.

After realizing Atom didn't make it to any safe place, they decide to go looking for him, splitting up to cover more terrain but still able to see each other.

I'm walking with Bellamy and Charlotte. For some reason I get a bad feeling about Charlotte, not like I'm scared of her or anything, I'm just not getting good vibes from her, maybe she doesn't like me of maybe I'm just overacting as usual.

When she is left behind, after getting distracted by some kind of bird, I find myself walking next to Bellamy and I'm pretty determined to start a conversation. By now I have gone through what felt like a hundred possible ice breakers and I'm finally gonna say something when I hear Charlotte screaming in horror.

Bellamy and I run back to her and we see the reason she's screaming. Atom.

"You son a bitch. Atom!" Bellamy shouts before running to him.

I move closer to them and I can tell Atom's whispering something I can't understand. When I'm finally there I notice he looks like he's chocking and in total pain. He has burning wounds and blisters all over the visible parts of his body, face and eyes.

Bellamy stands up when he hears the rest of the group arriving and standing back with Charlotte. She comes closer, looking at Atom with a blank expression and cold eyes. She reaches for something inside her pockets.

"I... can't…. Br… breathe," Atom says.

Charlotte takes her knife out of her pockets and hands it to Bellamy.

"Don't be afraid," she says.

"Go back to camp," Bellamy looks at the rest of the group. "Charlotte, you too," he adds.

"Bellamy are you sure?" I say, looking back at Atom.

"Kill… me," Atom says. I look away. "Bellamy, please."

I stand up and attempt to get back so I give Bellamy space to make his decision. When I turn around I see Clarke looking at Atom, as shocked as we all first were.

"Clarke," the words come out of my mouth in a gasp.

Clarke looks at me and then back to Bellamy while she comes closer to us.

"I heard screaming," she says, breathing heavily.

"Charlotte found him. I sent her back to camp," Bellamy says, still with a blank expression on his face.

Clarke looks at Bellamy and us and we both get what she's trying to say; he's no gonna make it and there's nothing we could do apart from ending the suffering.

"Okay," she says. "I'm gonna help you, alright?" Clarke is smiling, trying to somehow make it look less tragic than it already is. She grabs her knife and starts humming a song.

I look at Bellamy. He was looking at me, and then we're just looking at each other. He purses his lips and nods, allowing me to leave and not look at anything while it is all done and taken care of.

We arrive at the camp at night. To be honest I'm happy to be back, at least I'm not a third wheel here.

"We've gotta get to Jasper, I'll need boiled water to make the medicine," Clarke tells Bellamy once we're inside.

"Get Clarke whatever she needs," Bellamy says.

I get lost looking at what they've done here. They have people working on getting food and water and barriers and tents… the camp's pretty well organized.

People start creating a circle around Atom's body. I'm out of it, having left the group and now walking around the camp. For some reason silence invades the camp, everyone calm. Something is going on inside the circle of people but I can't see what it is.

"There's nothing I could do," Bellamy breaks the silence.

"Don't."

I can recognize the last voice as Octavia, Bellamy's sister, but I still don't know what's going on. Everyone's silent again when I see Octavia break the circle, coming out of it and right into the drop ship, and I assume she just found out about Atom and that maybe they were close.

The circle of people starts separating and I'm heading inside the Ship when I hear someone burst out in rage.

"My what?! MY WHAT?!"

It's Bellamy, so I start getting back into the crowd to see what's going on and when I get to the other side I see Bellamy and John Murphy facing each other real close… and not in a remotely good way, at all.

"Nothing," Murphy says with a dead stare on his face. "Sorry".

Bellamy starts walking back with an even more defiant look, and turns back to face the crowd. "Get him outta here," he commands to a group of people while pointing at Atom's body, then turns to give one last glare at Murphy as he walk past him.

I decide to follow him. He doesn't notice, heading inside his tent. For a second a think about turning back, I wouldn't like Bellamy going full bossy on me. I hate when people tell me what to do, that's probably a bad habit.

Don't. Go in that tent you chicken. I can wait for tomorrow, plus, I just don't wanna bother him. FOR GODS SAKE JUST GET IN THAT TENT, JONATHAN.

I start feeling pressure on my chest and I realize that, for some reason, I'm holding my breath, so I take a deep breath of air and get inside the tent with one big step.

"Knock knock..."

Knock knock? Oh god you're so lame. Fuck the hell off, ok?

"Do you need something?" Bellamy says, confused.

"I um, well I kinda like… I noticed you're basically the one in charge here so I just. Um, I don't have a tent so probably you have a spare one?" I bite my tongue before word vomiting on him.

He smiles at my awkwardness -I can't really tell if that's a good or bad thing- and starts looking around as if he's lost something.

"Fine," he says putting his hands up. "You can sleep here, I'll sleep in the drop ship tonight and we'll set a tent up tomorrow," he adds walking towards me and patting my shoulder as he walks past me.

So I'm left alone in Bellamy's tent, and I just head to sleep while I try to decide if it's all in my head or that pat on the shoulder lasted a little more than it should have lasted, and meant more than it should have meant. Was it on purpose? Was he aware of that? Because after that I was totally stunned. You see? that's the thing about guys like Bellamy, you can never tell…. Never.

Notes:

I'd like to clarify what Jonathan looks like since I haven't written about his physical appearance and I don't think I will, at least specifically.
In my head I picture Jonathan with Nick Robinson's aspect. He's on the story's cover photo.

Ok now, I hope you're liking it so far! x Happy reading!
ps: Feedback is more than welcomed!