Several individuals flooded into Kylo Ren's room over the past few days, giving their respect and thanks to the injured man. Even a good amount of resistance fighters honored the former First Order commander with their presence. His own mother stopped by a few times, but each time Kylo Ren refused to acknowledge her presence; Leia learned very quickly to just stop visiting.
The days after Kylo Ren was released from the infirmary were something out of a dream, something so unknown to him. The man could sit down at any table and it would be filled within minutes, though it was just mostly x-wing pilots. Poe and Finn took their respective seats across from the commander. 'Now is a good of a time as any,' Kylo Ren thought, ignoring the scavenger girl that plopped down next to him.
"Poe. I uh…I really don't know how to say it any other way. But I apologize for the incident on The Finalizer. And Finn, I share my same condolences in regards to your back," Kylo Ren finished, his shoulders tense with the reply he knew he'd received. To the man's surprise, Poe burst into a fit of laughter while Finn looked at the pilot as if he had a screw loose.
"Buddy, I had forgiven you for that a long time ago. What's done is done, and now we're all here," the pilot chuckled.
"So have I. Don't get me wrong, you still kind of terrify me, but what you did has begun to set things right," Finn blurted out, an air of nervousness hanging over the ex-stormtrooper's head.
This time it was Kylo Ren's turn to chuckle, the action making every single person at the table to eyeball him in amazement. "You didn't have to be that honest," the commander barely teased, fighting the infectious smile that should have been plastered to his face.
Rey beamed up at Kylo Ren, truly in disbelief of what met her eyes. He may still carry the name of Kylo Ren, but the man sitting before them was no other than Ben Solo. For some time, Rey had no faith in the man, certain that he would never regain an ounce of his humanity. The scavenger may have doubted her decision in the beginning, but she knew now that it was right of her to leave. She knew that Kylo Ren would fail under her guidance; instead, he needed to find his own way.
"Excuse me for cutting this short, Kylo, but may I speak to you privately," Rey asked the former commander, truthfully feeling quite small as he turned his scrutinizing gaze upon her.
"Of course," Kylo Ren answered, wiping his mouth clean and rising to his feet. A swift, respectful nod was given to Poe and Finn before the two departed. "May I ask what this is about?"
"I've run into a bit of a dilemma, you see," Rey began, fidgeting anxiously as they stepped into the training room. "Luke has received word of what I have done, letting you join the ranks of the resistance." The scavenger paused. "He was very, very displeased. He has informed me that he will no longer train me. That's where you come in…"
A full, ear to ear grin split Kylo Ren's face. 'Wow…' Rey quickly glanced away from the commander's face, desperately hoping the light blush upon her cheeks would not become too obvious.
"You need a teacher," Kylo Ren teased, remembering the last those words were spoken to the scavenger girl.
"I need a teacher," Rey huffed out in resignation. The scavenger reached into the satchel that was hanging at her hip and withdrew Kylo Ren's lightsaber. "I've been holding onto this for the longest time. It's about time it was returned to its owner."
Pure astonishment lit up the commander's face as he took the weapon from Rey's hand, feeling the familiar weight of it in his fingers. "I was so sure that you had left it behind or destroyed it when you captured me." The lightsaber truly meant a great deal to him, it was the first and last he had ever built; it was amazing how something so unstable had stood the test of time. "Rey…thank you. It really means a lot to me that you held onto it," Kylo Ren breathed out.
Rey turned her back on him and waved her hand in dismissal. "You're welcome. I just figured I shouldn't leave it lying around for just anybody to pick up," the scavenger lied straight through her teeth, warmth bubbling up inside her from the sentimentalities. "Do you think we could start now? I'd really like to keep up on the progress I've been making. In return, I could teach you something as well. Perhaps I can instruct you on how to fly the Falcon."
"Deal. If you're going to train with me, you're going to start off from the very basics…"
Everything was going so smoothly. Rey quickly excelled in each lesson Kylo Ren gave to her, though the same couldn't be said for him. It was an ongoing battle trying to teach the former commander the ins and outs of piloting an aircraft; he didn't seem to catch on as easy as Rey had when she was younger.
They were sitting in the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon, resting after a long day of training. "Kylo? I know I may be going a bit out of bounds here…but I have to ask. Why did you kill your father," Rey prodded, idly dragging her fingers across one of the many buttons adorning the control panel. The scavenger could feel a spike of anger coming through the force before it quickly dissipated. Though mostly unintentional, a force bond had steadily grown between the pair, making it difficult to hide anything from one another.
After a long, uncomfortable silence, Kylo Ren finally spoke up. "I didn't have a choice, really. It was either I kill him, or Snoke killed me for my weakness," he muttered softly. "It may not have been seen, but my father and I made peace with eachother out on that bridge. He knew that if he came to me, he would have to die. He had accepted that."
Rey leaned over and placed a gentle hand on the man's arm. "Kylo…I'm so sorry," the scavenger sympathized, unable to come up with any other words for the situation.
"It's fine. That's in the past now. I'd rather not dwell on it," the commander replied rather curtly, standing up from the copilot's seat and quickly taking his leave. Rey could physically feel the aching of the man's heart as he made his hasty getaway.
Bit by bit, Rey would manage to pull personal stories from Kylo Ren, but not without cost. Sometimes he would disappear for a couple of days, doing his own thing. Other days he became violent, lashing out verbally against Rey or becoming physical with other objects, the dark side exerting its power over him when he was weak enough to let it in.
They were standing together in the training room late at night, far past when everybody else had settled in for bed. Rey had made the mistake of delving too deep into Kylo Ren's past when she questioned him about the other young Jedi apprentices he had slaughtered.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything by it. I just wanted to know why you did it," Rey pleaded, trying to persuade the man into keeping his voice down.
"I've told you countless times before, I don't want to speak of it. But what do you do? You keep fucking pushing," Kylo Ren hissed with disdain, his face crimson with rage.
"I just want to be able to understand you better, that's all. Please, I just want to help," the scavenger begged. The words left her mouth too quickly before she could stop them. 'Oh no…'
"How many goddamned times have I told you that I don't want your help. That I don't need your pity," Kylo Ren practically roared, white-knuckled fists clenched at his sides.
The commander's booming voice struck a deep chord within Rey, enticing fear in her strong heart for the first time in what felt like ages. The scavenger retreated back until she came into contact with a wall, holding her arms around herself in order to self soothe. Despite it all, despite the dark past, the anger, and the frustration, Rey still found herself hopelessly attached to Kylo Ren. She wanted to comfort him when he was down, and bask in his happiness when it possessed him. It was moments like this that shook her feelings for him, but she knew better. She knew that the only reason he ever lashed out was because of the deep, splitting pain he felt; and she wanted to be the one to rid him of it, in any possible way that she could. Rey had grown quite fond of Kylo Ren.
Kylo Ren finally took a break from his tirade to spare a glance at Rey. Nearly all of his rage evaporated from the man as his gut sank to the floor in apprehension. No matter how angry he would ever become with her, Kylo Ren never wanted Rey to fear him. The commander stepped towards the scavenger girl and somehow she had managed to glue herself closer to the wall that she had been before.
"Rey…" Kylo Ren grasped the young Jedi's chin, forcing her to look up and meet his gaze. Thin trails of tears dripped down her face, the woman's eyes swimming with emotion. Kylo Ren delicately wiped away Rey's tears before speaking again. "Do you really want to know how to help me?" The only answer he received in response was a weak nod. Kylo Ren moved his hand to softly caress the woman's cheek before leaning down to place a tender kiss upon Rey's lips. The commander knew of the scavenger girl's feelings for him long before she did herself; Rey was not nearly as skilled at hiding away her emotions like Kylo Ren was. For the man was infatuated with her ever since their fateful moment together in his interrogation room.
Kylo Ren pulled away to find Rey lost for words, a new brightness in her eyes that he had never seen before. A wistful smile decorated the man's lips before he whispered, "Don't be afraid. I feel it too."