A/N: Since my last one-shot was pretty heavy, I decided to write a light one. Ladies and gentlemen...
Read as Dick Grayson tries to get a fifteen year old Damian to admit he has a girlfriend.
"C'mon, Dami –"
"No, Grayson!"
"Just admit it!"
"I won't admit to something that isn't true, you fool."
"Oh, you know it's true. So just admit it. The truth will set you free, little brother."
"It is not true!"
The argument between the two brothers has been going on for days now. Almost a week. Damian is resistant, but Dick Grayson is on a mission, and he will not stop until he gets the desired outcome.
He's going to get Damian to admit to having a girlfriend.
The tell-tale signs have been there, alright. Going out more frequently, being more secretive, making an effort to look nicer, freaking out when people snoop around his room…
If Damian doesn't have a girlfriend, then he's a male escort. Dick can think of no other explanation.
So he's going with the first one. It sounds nicer.
Really, he should have seen this coming. Damian is fifteen now. He's a Wayne, meaning he has the Wayne charm hidden under those anti-social tendencies. Dick thought that those anti-social tendencies would give him at least a few more years before his little brother got a girlfriend, or even a crush, but he supposes that was just wishful thinking. The boy's a teenager, he has hormones.
Okay, bad image. He's just going to assume that Damian is a virgin.
"Grayson, you are being ridiculous," the teen insists, swiftly grabbing an apple and heading out of the kitchen. Dick follows him, unrelenting.
"C'mon, Little D, even you have to admit that you've been acting weird lately."
Damian merely shrugs and takes a bite of his apple, snatching the car keys off the side table on his way to the front door.
"So?" he fires back. "Is it so bad that I like to have my privacy? Is nothing sacred in this house?"
Dick smirks. Privacy? He thinks that is the biggest tip-off? More like #865 on a list of tip-offs.
"Oh, and I suppose going out constantly and refusing to tell anyone where you're going is about privacy, too?"
Damian glares at him, knowing that he doesn't have a proper response for that. It's true. He hasn't been telling anyone where he's going. He gets defensive each time someone asks.
"That's nothing, Grayson," he growls. Dick is just amused by how heavily Damian is guarding his whereabouts.
"Oh, really?" Dick begins playfully. "In that case, where are you going right now?"
Damian looks down at the keys in his hands, then back up at Dick. The look on his face is pure murder, like he's been caught in a trap.
"To see a friend," he says through gritted teeth. Dick smiles and decides to draw this out a little bit longer, just to see his little brother squirm. He'll get that confession soon enough.
"Really? Who?"
Damian seems to gain back some confidence, standing up straight and regarding Dick tensely,
"Colin. Who else?"
Dick grins and takes out his cell phone from his pocket.
"So, if I called him right now…"
Damian shakes his head vehemently, suddenly looking stricken at the thought of his older brother calling his best friend.
"No! It's a, um, surprise. He doesn't know I'm on my way!"
Dick reluctantly puts his phone away. Dammit, he was sure he would get a confession out of Damian today. He's waited long enough. But he underestimated the little twerp. He hasn't been broken just yet. He'll just have to try again tomorrow.
"Fine, you can go," he grumbles unhappily. Damian smirks at the small victory and brushes past him, walking out the door to go hop on his motorcycle. Dick shakes his head.
He'll get the truth out of him somehow.
"So, Damian, is Colin the reason you're going out with cologne on?"
Damian turns to glare at his brother, half-way through finishing his oat cereal that Alfred demanded he eat before he left the house this morning.
"Shut it, Grayson."
Dick grins. He can practically feel Damian's resistance wearing down each day. Dick is getting under his skin more than he'll admit. Soon, he'll be forced to admit to this secret girlfriend of his.
Even if Dick ends up with a katana to the spleen because of it.
"Who ya talking to there, Dami?"
Damian takes the phone away from his ear and covers the receiver with his palm, turning to Dick with a stone-hard glare.
"No one," he hisses. Dick rolls his eyes with a dopey grin on his face.
"Suuurrrreeeee, I'll believe that."
Damian just snorts and puts the phone back up to his ear, turning away from him and walking out of the living room to continue with his call in private.
Making Damian crack is proving harder than he thought, and Dick is mighty disappointed in himself. He was trained by the World's Greatest Detective, dammit. Shouldn't he be able to figure out who it is that his little brother is spending so much time with? Must he resort to stalking him?
Besides, Timmy is the stalking expert in this family, not him.
Groaning, he plops himself down on the couch next to Bruce, who reads his newspaper, ignoring the scene his children are causing.
"Your son will be the death of me," Dick groans dramatically. Though he's not looking at Bruce's face, he swears he can just sense the eye-roll coming from that man.
"Dick, you're overreacting. I already told you, Damian doesn't have a girlfriend."
Really? Is Dick the only one in this house that can see clearly? Even Alfred told him that this was all nonsense. No one seems to notice Damian's obvious change in behavior except him. It's like they all think he's just going through a teenage phase.
Yeah, right. Damian's had the mentality of a thirty year old since he was ten. He doesn't go through 'teen angst'.
"Of course he has a girlfriend! All the signs are there. He's not acting like himself lately at all. He's hiding something, or someone. It's gotta be a girlfriend."
Bruce sets down his newspaper and looks over at his oldest son, his eyes challenging and seeping with annoyance.
"I'll tell you what," he offers, his voice vaguely smug. "If you find out Damian has a girlfriend, I owe you… Say, $100."
Dick regards him carefully before snorting at the low price.
"The billionaire can't spare more?"
Bruce gives him the 'look', and suddenly Dick regrets talking back to his ex-mentor. Didn't he learn that was a no-no when he was ten and running around in green scaly panties?
"Most people would bet $5. In this family, the average wager is $100. I'm not raising it."
A chance to prove to Bruce that their baby bird is finally growing up? That's not something to pass up. He extends his hand with a wide grin gracing his face.
"Deal."
"Don't touch anything, alright?"
"But Dami, this is so cool!"
Damian rolls his eyes at Irey West. For the first time since he met the vivacious speedster, he's brought her down into the Bat Cave. Father is gone on League business, and the rest of the house is empty for today. It's the perfect time to sneak her in and show her the place where he spends so much time.
"I've never seen something so cool!" she continues, her red ponytail bouncing as she walks around, examining every inch of the forbidden room.
Damian chuckles at her curiosity. It's just one of the things he loves about her. She questions everything because she wants to know everything there is to know. Otherwise, she feels like she's missing out. It's endearing.
"Wow, where did he get that? That computer set is certainly something. Oh! Is that Jason's old suit from –,"
Damian cuts her off by pressing a swift kiss to her lips. She immediately shuts up with a small squeak and gets a dopey look on her face. Damian resists the urge to laugh. She looks like her father when she wears that look…
He immediately shakes that thought out of his head. He doesn't want to think about Wally West when he's spending time with his girlfriend, who just happens to be the daughter Mr. West is so overprotective of.
"You talk too much," he comments with a grin. She blushes and looks down, nodding.
"Yeah, I do," she admits. "But don't act like you don't love it."
He laughs and slips his arm around her waist, tugging her closer to him. An even heavier blush spreads across her freckled cheeks, and he laughs. He's always loved that about her. She's so innocent. He's never been innocent, coming into the world a killer. He likes that she balances him out. He feels like the two of them were just made for each other.
"I suppose I can tolerate it…" he teases. She rolls her eyes and slaps him lightly on the chest.
"Just like I can tolerate your extreme stubbornness," she responds, leaning her head on his chest. He chuckles and lays his head on top of hers. The two don't get many moments like this. He cherishes the peace and quiet, the feel of her body against his, and that weird feeling he always gets in his chest when the two are together.
He has yet to figure out what exactly that feeling is.
Irey tilts her head up, her eyes catching his. He smiles warmly down at her. Slowly, she leans up, her head tilting. He starts leaning down to meet her halfway –
"I knew it!"
The two teenagers spring apart as if they've just been shot at, looking around for the source of the shout. They're both blushing like mad, ashamed to be caught in the middle of such an intimate moment.
Damian's eyes dart to the stairs, and he nearly blows up at what he sees.
Grayson stands leaning on the bars of the stairs, grinning from ear to ear.
"Grayson!" Damian shouts angrily, his fists clenching. Grayson just laughs at his anger and waves to Irey, whom he knows very well. Damian can only imagine how she feels. She was caught by her father's best friend. It's like being caught by family.
"I knew you had a girlfriend!" he exclaims, his face glowing with happiness. He's so ridiculously giddy about this that Damian wonders just how obsessed he was with proving that his little brother had a girlfriend. It's like this is a personal victory for him.
"Grayson, you're such a freak."
He laughs at Damian's insult, still clearly amused at the entire scene.
"Don't worry, you two! I won't tell Bruce or Wally. Your secret's safe with me, you love birds!"
Irey breathes a sigh of relief, while Damian lets out a little huff at being called a 'love bird'. The last thing either of them wanted was their fathers prying into their love lives. The embarrassment would never fade.
Damian tries to imagine the two of them finding out that their children are dating…
He shudders. They'd probably end up giving them both a stern lecture and before trying to intimidate their respective child's significant other. It would turn ugly fast.
"Thank you, Uncle Dick!" Irey exclaims. Damian finds it a tad bit unsettling that she still refers to him as 'Uncle', but he lets it slide.
"I guess I owe you, Grayson," he mutters unhappily. Irey giggles at his tone and waves to Grayson as he leaves the couple to go back upstairs.
"Use protection!" Grayson shouts before he leaves the vicinity. Both teens go bright red, looking at the ground. Damian feels his cheeks heat up.
Did Grayson really assume…?
No, he's probably just messing with them.
"So…" Damian begins, breaking the silence. Eliminating the maddening space between them, he places his hands on her hips and pulls her closer to him. She blushes, a small grin on her face.
"Where were we?"
One week later…
"Hey, Bruce?"
Bruce looks up from his file to see Dick standing over him, smiling smugly as if he knows the secret to the universe. He doesn't like that look. Not at all.
"Yes, Dick?"
He watches in confusion as Dick extends his hand, looking at Bruce expectantly. What is it that he wants from him?
"I'll be collecting my $100 now."
… Shit.
A/N: TADA! I packed on the cuteness because I could.
I don't have strong opinions about the SpeedDemon ship, but then again, I ship Damian with whoever. I ship him with Lian Harper, too.
I mean, hey, they're both dead!
... I'm going to Hell for that joke.
But if you want to see any other Damian romance, just tell me.