A/N: Just a quick disclaimer to say the characters do not belong to me andno copyright infrigement was intended. Also i have no beta, so all mistakes are mine ! Happy reading ! DM x
Trigger Warning : Vague references to child abuse.
It was dark when Regina returned to her tent, she was aggravated and annoyed. Considering she had hand picked every single soldier in her army, they were the best of the best, each one a talented warrior in their own right but once they were all together seemed to be incapable of even the smallest tasks and it was beyond irritating.
The first thing Regina noticed was that Emma had indeed heeded her advice and was in a deep sleep allowing her mind and body to get the rest it obviously needed. Seeing the blonde feel safe enough to rest so soundly filled Regina's cold heart with warmth although she now must consider what she was going to do with the young woman now.
Regina felt torn. She felt almost certain that the girl in her bed was in fact the blonde the blue fairy had told her about six weeks ago but she also feared the truth behind that statement. There was an abundance of warmth and goodness that radiated off Emma, Regina feared that her own darkness would consume and destroy it, leaving Emma just a shadow of her former self, empty and broken.
Regina knew what it was like to be surrounded by evil and what it did to good people like Emma. How could she be willing to let that happen to a girl she had only just rescued from a different form of evil. Regina felt things, emotions running through her veins that she'd thought she had lost the capacity to feel and she knew that was dangerous in itself. They made Regina feel unbalanced, like a spark was trying to ignite an epic battle of good vs evil within her own soul. As Regina gazed longingly at Emma's sleeping form, she could hear her mother's words in her mind 'love is weakness Regina'.
Regina sighed as she continued to undress, grabbing a blanket before she curled up in the chair she had been using to sleep in since her bed became occupied by another. Her mother's words still repeated in her mind like a mantra of her entire existence. She still remembered vividly the first time she heard those words despite how many times her mother had repeated them to her over the years. It was at her fathers funeral. Regina remembered standing next to her mother in front of her father's coffin, it a final show of respect for their king, husband and father, Regina wept at her loss and the emptiness she felt in her heart. The mother clicked her tongue irritably as she turned to Regina with disappointment in her eyes at her daughters failure to withhold her emotions.
"Love is weakness, Regina" came her mothers stern and unfeeling tone. "We are not weak people, and you will learn, that I am right" Cora added sharply before turning and walking away from her upset 5yr old daughter. Regina did learn this lesson over the years, through some of the cruelest ways possible and if her mother ever found out how deeply she felt for the woman in her bed, in such a short amount of time then she feared what her mother would do to them but more importantly what her mother would do to Emma. Violent and brutal memories from her childhood ripped through Regina's mind for what seemed like forever before Regina could finally shake herself free of them. She couldn't let that happen to Emma. She wouldn't. With a heavy heart Regina decided it was best for everyone for Emma to leave, to send her away and protect her from the darkness's and the evil that consumed Regina's life.
In the morning Regina was the first to wake, gently climbing off the chair and stretching out her body's stiffness. Her back cracked and her knees creaked, to say sleeping in a chair was uncomfortable was some what of an understatement. Regina walked over to where Emma was still sleeping soundly and gazed upon her with a sad smile on her lips. Sending Emma away was the right thing to do no matter how much she wished for the young woman to stay and with a quiet sigh of acceptance, Regina silently got dressed and left to tend to her men.
When Regina reached her command tent she was pleased to see most of her generals were already up and present. Regina gave them instructions to break camp as soon as possible, as they still had a lot of ground to cover if they were to make it back to the Dark Castle in time for the queen's celebration in five days time. The generals quickly agreed and set off to relay and oversee their commander's orders, only one general stayed behind.
"Excuse me commander, but what of the girl who returned here with you the night before last?". Mulan asked a little sheepishly. Regina eyed her general cautiously, Mulan was her second in command, she was a good friend and a trusted ally but the question she posed seemed a little bit to forward for Regina's liking.
"The girl will not be returning with us and I trust once she has gone, her presence here will not be spoken of again" Regina replied a little awkwardly.
"Of course Commander, I did not wish for you to question my loyalty" Mulan said sincerely. Regina nodded in reply and left feeling ashamed of herself for doubting her friends intentions.
When Regina returned to her tent, Emma still slumbered peacefully despite the noise from her men breaking camp around them. Regina walked over to where Emma lay and sat gingerly on the edge of the bed, her heart and soul protesting at what she was about to do. So Regina did what she had always done, what she was forced to do since she was a child, she locked up her feelings and emotions and reached out to shake Emma's shoulder gently.
"Emma you need to wake up now" Regina said gently but Emma was still sleeping so soundly it didn't register. "Emma you must wake" Regina repeated a little more forcefully and this time a pair of emerald eyes cracked open.
"Hmm" came a non slavic response from the sleepy blonde. Emma sighed a sat up a little wiping the sleep from her eyes, when her vision cleared she saw Regina sat on the edge of the bed with a sad expression on her face and finally registered the noise and commotion going on outside.
"What's going on" Emma asked with a yawn.
"My men are breaking camp, we have orders to return to the Dark Castle" Regina replied and no matter how much she tried to hide it, Emma could still hear the sorrow and disappointment in her tone. If Regina and her men were headed home, what did that mean for Emma, was she going too. Emma was just about to ask that question but before she got the chance too Regina answered it for her.
"I would suggest after recent events, you should consider returning home also" Regina said getting up from the bed to avoid Emma's deep green eyes, it would hurt to much to look at them whilst those words tumbled from her mouth. Emma felt the emotional sting of those words, she didn't want to go home, she couldn't go back there like this. How could she go home when she felt like this was were she was meant to be, right here next to the beautiful woman who rescued her.
"I can't go home" Emma stated matter of factly. Regina looked at Emma curiously and raised a questioning eyebrow.
"What do you mean by that" Regina asked firmly, a definite request for an explanation. Emma panicked and blurted out the first thing that came into her mind.
"My parents are dead, I have no home to return to" Emma said quickly. Regina eyed Emma doubtfully but who was she to judge, home was a place she longed for escape from too, just like Emma.
"Can I stay with you" Emma asks hopefully starting to nervously pick at the blanket. "Maybe I could work in the kitchens or something at the castle". Regina's heart soared at the fact Emma wanted to stay with her, but Regina was strong willed and her head told her that it would be dangerous for both of them if she allowed Emma to stay.
"I'm sorry Emma but that just isn't possible" Regina said as she turned to face Emma once more, Emma scrambled out from the covers and threw herself off the bed and onto her knees in front of Regina in a sudden act of desparation.
"Please Regina, please don't send me away, please let me stay" Emma pleaded with the now stoic Commander, Regina now buried deep beneath the surface.
"I'm sorry Emma but my answer is no. We will be leaving soon, i will return with some fresh clothes shortly" Regina said firmly, indicating this discussion was over, but Emma wasn't happy with that. If begging wasn't going to work then maybe Emma needed to try a different tack and stood up, crossing her arms firmly across her chest. Emma glared at Regina with accusation in her eyes.
"My father always told me that once you've saved someone's life, it makes you responsible for it" Emma said accusingly.
"I'm starting to think your father was a very opinionated man" Regina mused irritably but also felt the truth in that statement. She did feel responsible for the young blonde. Emma stood rigidly and stared intently into Regina's eyes and Regina certainly felt the weight of that stare.
"Fine" Regina relented. "You may stay with us until we reach Oakenfold, a small town a few miles south of the castle, I'm sure you should be able to find work and lodgings there". Regina said thinking out loud. What she didn't voice was how perfect it was as she would still be able to keep an eye on Emma without her being in direct danger from either Regina's mother of Regina's darkness.
"Thank you" Emma said with relief and Regina just nodded at her.
"I must oversee my men, please try and eat something by the time I return. There is some food on the table". Regina said with a small smile, inside she was bubbling with happiness that Emma was staying, even if it was only for a little while longer, then excused herself leaving Emma alone once more. Emma sighed, yes she was relieved that Regina had decided to let her stay but it wasn't what she wanted. She wanted to stay with Regina, not in Oakenfold. But it would have to do, for now at least but Emma was a fighter and knew exactly were she wanted to be.
After Regina left the tent, she went straight to where the horses were kept, in search of her head horseman Daniel, and it didn't take Regina long to find him.
"Daniel I was hoping you would help me with a personal matter" Regina said matter of factly as soon as he came into sight. Daniel looked at Regina in confusion. It was very rare for Regina to ask any sort of favour from anyone let alone when the army was mobile.
"Depends on what it is I guess" Daniel replied as he truly had no idea what Regina was after. He had known Regina since they were children and knew that what ever it was it must be important to her, to ask in the first place.
"As you may of heard, I currently have a guest who needs taking care of. I was hoping Emma may travel with you until we stop to make camp for the night, as I am concerned about how the men will react if she rides with me." Regina said, trying to disassociate herself from her emotions. Daniel however knew Regina far too well and knows when she's trying to save face in front other men by shutting down her emotions. But what really makes Daniel's mind boggle, is that this Emma is obviously very special, for the Dark Commander would never care, protect and befriend an innocent girl but the Regina he used to know would.
"Of course Commander" Daniel replies with a wink, silently telling Regina he knows there's something more to this Emma than Regina is letting on.
"Thank you" Regina said sincerely. "I will bring Emma to you shortly, thank you again for doing this Daniel" this time Regina's eyes light up and there's a warmth in her tone, and to Daniel its just even more proof this Emma girl is special.
Emma eventually manages to drag herself from the bed, but only after much self encouragement, and sits down at the table where she manages to eat a little breakfast. Emma waits patiently for Regina to return with some new clothes, and whilst she waits finally finds the courage to look at herself in the full length mirror near the bed. She's a mess. She has a swollen and bruised eye, her lip is split, her skin is pale and sick looking, she is filthy from being tossed around in the alley and her dress is torn indecently. However it is only when she strips down to her shift and sees the bruising and scratches on her inner thighs, the horrific events of that night finally catch up with her causing Emma to break down in tears. She feels ashamed, disgusted and broken.
Unbeknown to Emma, Regina enters the tent behind and watches the shame in those emerald eyes as Emma looks at herself in the mirror. Regina feels a surge of overwhelming protectiveness, she desperately wants to hold the broken woman and tell her she is safe, that Regina's got her and will protect her from, the horrors of this world but her head tells her that attempted rape is nothing in comparison to what Cora would do to her. Her mother was sick, twisted, perverse and had no morality whatsoever, she was the true evil that Regina needed to protect Emma from and Regina knew that was exactly what she would do even if it broke what was left of her own fragmented heart.
"Emma, are you in any pain" Regina asked softly, as she looked over Emma's battered and bruised form. Emma saw care and protectiveness in Regina's eyes, and clutched her torn dress even tighter to her chest in shame.
"No, not really just a little sore in places" Emma said weakly tugging at the bottom of her shift in an effort to obscure the stinging scratches on her thighs, and avoiding Regina's caring eyes. Regina looked at the angry, deep, red scratches that Emma was trying to hide awkwardly and then moved to the trunk of her bed, retrieving a small jar and returning to stand near Emma.
"Here, this will help" Regina said compassionately as she handed the small jar of salve over to Emma. Emma took off the lid,and took a gentle sniff, it smelled like lavender but twas masked by something Emma had not come across before and gave Regina a questioning look.
"What is it ?" Emma asked as she gazed at the clear gel like substance.
"It is a salve I made for treating sword scratches, it contains a few different herbs such as St John's wort, echinacea and lavender oil. It will help with the healing and reduce chances of infection. I'm actually quite talented as a herbalist, not that I get much time to practice" Regina said wistfully. Emma smiled at Regina thankfully before moving to sit on the bed quietly.
Regina shifted awkwardly from foot to foot. "Yes well, I have brought you some fresh clothes" Regina said gesturing to the end of the bed, "I shall wait for you outside, there is someone I wish for you to meet" Regina said slipping back behind her commander mask.
"Thank you" Emma said sincerely and smiled brightly at the woman now starting to make her exit leaving Emma to her privacy.