They met again the day after, and the days following as well, becoming each other's only company. She kept astonishing him and he kept surprising her. He liked how her boldness and spirit were ahead of their time and she couldn't help finding his old-fashioned manners and his candor endearing.
Steve was to perform to the soldiers in Europe and come back a couple of days later. Or so he said. She knew it would take longer. Having memorized all the course of events, she knew this 'show' would trigger a whole series of events that would lead him back to Barnes. That would take him back to her; the woman he loved.
'See you soon, then!' she lied nonetheless, playing credulity to the perfection. Part of her was content to know he would soon become the soldier he always wished to be; part of her ached to watch him go away again. She hated the idea of not being there to protect him although she knew his skills and fate were on his side.
Her arms instinctively reached out, ready to hold him in her arms but she stopped herself in time. She interrupted the motion and peered absently as she gently pressed his elbow instead. When she eventually looked up, she found him staring silently at her hand on his arm then straight into her eyes. He opened his mouth slightly, ready to speak but unable to find words to say. This lingering quietness and these loud looks exchanged made her feel uncomfortable. A feeling she wasn't familiar with, and therefore disliked.
She pulled her hand away as if she had just burned herself.
'Rock it,' she smiles.
He snorted.
'I'm just going to sing to a division. I doubt I'll make a hit,' he answered.
'You never know. Life is full of surprises,' she commented with a mischievous smirk.
He left, hardly convinced. She watched walk away to meet up with his destiny.
The couple of days went by and she turned all her attention on achieving her first mission. She returned to the bank, asked to speak with the director just like she had the first time (Peter blushed again) and requested to have a passport made for her. He nodded professionally, took the photograph she had taken care of bringing with her and assured her it would be ready within a week.
'I'll send it straight to the apartment,' he said, solicitous to not raise suspicions on her repetitive visits and preserve both their identities.
She searched for specific maps she had studied before time traveling and started to work on her strategy. She still had a few weeks left but she refused to let not even one detail to chance. She had to be methodical and efficient, like she had always been on any mission. This mission being the most important and meaningful in her life, she planned to perfect it until she felt fully satisfied.
After a week, she spent most of her days in the apartment, feeling bored. She often looked out the window wondering what Steve was doing at this exact moment; wishing she could be fighting by his side. Fighting alongside someone was the only way she knew to show her trust, her respect and her affection. She had fought for S.H.I.E.L.D out of respect for Fury, she had learned to fight next to Thor and the Hulk after giving them her trust, and every time she went on a mission with Clint, she did it because she valued their friendship more than anything. Steve, just like the latter, had earned the three from her and she felt frustration not being physically supporting him in his journey to becoming Captain America. She knew it wasn't her place, she knew it wasn't her time, but she had been in this timeline long enough to feel like she belonged in it and had every right to actively take part in it.
She sighed. Once again, she was missing Steve.
One morning, she walked by the newspaper stand when a headline caught her attention.
CAPTAIN AMERICA SAVES THE DAY AND DESTROYS STRATEGIC HYDRA HEADQUARTER
She smiled , genuinely thrilled for her friend's achievement and for being lucky enough to witness it. Her fingers stroked the photograph showing Steve dressed in a real military suit, standing with an expression of humble pride on his face as the soldiers surrounding him seemed to be cheering for his victory.
She bought the paper, read the article again and again or smiled to herself as she looked at his photograph unremittingly. She enjoyed the sight of his smile and of his strong and square body in the official military outfit too greatly to put the newspaper down.
She related to his joy way more than she had ever rejoiced for anyone else's success before. Perhaps because she had seen him long for a recognition he was finally granted.
Her phone rang eventually, nearly two weeks after they last time spoke. She felt a burst of unexplainable excitement when she heard his voice on the other end of the line.
'Are you free, tonight?' he asked.
'I guess I can make some room on my agenda to see America's new hero,' she teased.
Steve set the meeting in a place he had never taken her before.
She put on an emerald dress, kept her wavy blond hair down and headed outside. She was surprised to find out the place was a bar, as in any regular bar therefore inappropriate for distinguished women. It didn't shock her. But she was surprised it didn't shock Steve either.
She walked inside and stood for a second, earning surprised, content and lustful looks from all the men in the room. She looked ravishing and mysterious, perhaps even more than usual, and instantly embodied each and every male present in the bar's ultimate fantasy. She ignored them all as her eyes swept around the room, searching for the only man in the assembly who had her complete interest. Steve stepped in her line of sight looking happier than he had ever been.
He walked up to her with an aplomb which was admittedly unprecedented but still couldn't overshadow his natural modesty. She smiled genuinely and he smiled back with just as much warmth. His grin, his masculine demeanor, the bliss of seeing him back, she was so close to touching him if it wasn't for her mission. She couldn't care less about the audience watching and decency. Especially decency. It could go take a hike.
He came stand in front of her and looked at her intently, his dark pupils slightly trembling.
She broke the silence first.
'It appears you had quite a boring couple of weeks,' she said ironically.
'You have no idea,' he commented with a smile. 'I wish I could have told you myself before you read about it on the papers.'
He led her across the room to another area in the back. His hand grazed her forearm as they walked past the men who were now staring with an expression of sheer fascination, all wondering who this gorgeous woman acquainted with Captain America was.
'A bar, Steve Rogers?' she teased when they passed the door and entered a quieter room. 'This isn't like you.'
He smiled and shook his head.
'In my defense, it wasn't my idea,' he replied, a bit embarrassed.
'Well, you keep saying she is more modern than any person you ever met. I am sure she won't mind,' a voice said.
Natasha turned and identified the man speaking immediately. Barnes. The fancy military suit and the impeccably-groomed haired couldn't conceal what he really was. A murderer. She clenched her fist as her first reaction was to replay Steve's death in her head. Steve being shot in the back. Steve collapsing on the ground. Steve agonizing and then releasing his last breath in her shaky arms. A strong and virulent part of her wished she could finish him right here, right now. One flip of the neck and her mission would be accomplished. Steve would be safe. But her reason, her best side, louder than the rest reminded her the man who standing in front of her wasn't this murderer yet; and never would have to be if she succeeded. She looked closely at him as he smiled at her with a warm, borderline seductive smile and she found no trace of darkness in his eyes. She looked at him and she saw…herself. Years ago, a long time before Clint gave her a chance at redemption, a long time before she joined the Red Room.
'Indeed, I do not,' she replied, arching an eyebrow at him.
'James Barnes. But you can call me Bucky,' he spoke suavely, shaking her hand warmly.
Barnes wasn't going to become evil; he wasn't even going to turn into an assassin by choice, he was going to become a victim. And as she made the vow to protect victims, she understood how Steve had been right all along when he kept saying the Winter Soldier deserved to be saved.
'Natalie Rushman,' she answered, looking at him with a fascination she didn't even try to hide.
He and Steve waited for her to sit first then followed.
She sat at the bar with them for the rest of the night. Something outrageous for anyone who would see her there but which Steve seemed to admire, and James Barnes to be quite charmed about.
'Your new suit isn't so bad,' she told Steve later in the evening. He was wearing an elegant brown military suit with shiny medals on it. 'But I think I have a preference for your former one,' she added referring to his cosplay costume and drank a sip of her cocktail from the straw.
He rolled his eyes and smiled. 'Of course, you do.'
'Well, it had chic and elegant written all over it,' she said.
'I wish I had seen that,' Barnes chimed in.
'It was quite a sight,' Natasha asserted.
'Am I still gonna hear about that cheap costume for very long?' Steve sighed.
'Longer than you think,' she seemed to promise with her cockiest smirk.
Later that evening, Barnes hopped down his stool to go and greet an old pal who passed by. Natasha turned to Steve who was sipping his drink with a smile he had kept all night.
'So, you want to tell me what happened there?' she asked after she leaned in closer towards him.
He put his glass down and winced slightly.
'I don't want you to think I'm bragging,' he said, shaking his head. 'Plus, I'm sure newspapers covered the wole thing better than I would.'
She smiled and slowly raised her big green eyes onto him. 'I would never think such a thing, Steve. Plus, I don't care what newspapers say. I want to hear your version.'
He eyed her playfully and laughed.
'You don't care about what newspapers say? You're a shame to your profession, Nat!"
The last word sent an electric shock through her body. She turned and looked at him with a confused frown.
'What did you just call me?' she asked, thinking it was just her imagination.
Steve had a bashful smile. 'I'm sorry. You don't like it?'
She shook her head gently and smiled.
'It just felt like a déjà vu, that's it,' she explained calmly. She looked at him and recalled all the times Steve randomly called her Nat on missions or during a conversation. It both surprised and pleased her to know some habits died hard, even when time was part of the equation. Their bond seemed to inevitably go back to what it was and knew no restrictions. A timeless connection. 'I like it,' she assured him.
He smiled in response and started telling her in his own words the rescue mission she had read on reports a week earlier. She knew most of it already, but hearing it from Steve brought a whole new wave of unknown details. She listened with attention and interest and seemed to rediscover the story from a whole new angle. She listened as he praised Barnes' heroism even after going through days of torture and experiments. He spoke of him with pride and solemnity without realizing.
'It's great, Steve,' she commented when he finished. A playful smirk then rose to her lips.
'I hate to brag but it looks like I was damn right."
Steve laughed wholeheartedly while the barman threw a judging look in her direction for using such an unladylike language. Steve propped his temple on his fist so that his head was tilted towards her.
He eyed her for a time longer than necessary and grinned to himself as he seemed to wonder.
'I guess you were,' he conceded without any effort.
She wiggled on her stool and looked at him. 'Are you impressed?' she teased, slightly squinting her eyes.
A short but noticeable pause followed.
'Always and forever' he eventually answered without any reserve. His reply cut her teasing short and puzzled her. She felt quizzical and, surprisingly, flattered.
Barnes came back and the casual conversation started again. She opened up progressively to her former enemy as she grew to enjoy his wit. It soon became obvious why he and Steve had become best friends. They probably would strike anyone as being completely different; but with time you would get to realize they had a lot in common and that their two personalities actually complemented one another.
She soon joined their natural complicity and laughed along as if she were the legitimate third member of the group.
It was until someone cleared their throat behind them and interrupted their laughter. A female voice, Natasha could tell. She turned on her stool and frowned as she saw Steve hurriedly get up his seat and stand in a stiff posture. She peered at him from the corner of her eye: his expression had a peculiar mix of elation and embarrassment. Embarrassed of what? That was the question.
She turned to look at the person who triggered such a sharp reaction. The woman standing in front of them was wearing an elegant dark red dress that perfectly molded her curves. Her brown, wavy hair was framing her jaw and her thin neck; her large brown eyes expressed a masculine confidence although a hint of annoyance was buried deep down her dark pupils, Natasha noticed.
The tension between her and Steve was unmissable and betrayed hidden feelings. Natasha looked at her with appreciation. She was finally meeting the woman who had captured Steve's heart. She couldn't help start to compare herself to her.
'Captain Rogers,' she started in a neat English accent and a bit too professional tone. 'My apologies for interrupting you in such pleasant company,' she threw a glimpse in Natasha's direction.
Barnes seemed to find the whole situation highly entertaining as the smirk on his lips showed it clearly.
'May I introduce you to my friend?' Steve eventually uttered. The woman looked at her intently. 'This is Natalie Rushman. She works for a magazine.'
'Nat-Natalie§' he continued with the same awkwardness as he tried to correct himself.' This is agent Carter. She supervised me during my training and gave me the chance to go find Bucky.'
Natasha put on her best smile which was reciprocated with the same level of social convenience. Did it lack sincerity? Definitely; although Natasha couldn't really explain why.
Agent Carter probed her up and down then finally detached her eyes.
'I am very sorry to interrupt what seems to be a delectable evening but I am afraid serious matters send me here which I shall discuss with you…in private,' she spoke assertively then glanced at Natasha. 'Apologies for depriving you of these two gentlemen but what is about to be discussed cannot be heard by a civilian…even less a journalist,' she explained calmly but with a slightly crafty smile.
Natasha blinked in surprise. Well, that hurt. Never had the Black Widow been put aside for a strategic meeting. She had always been a central character in those discussions. And being reduced to a mere civilian? It stung her ego.
She kept her composure though as she reminded herself she was the one in the way. There had never been any Natalie Rushman friends with Steve Rogers in 1942 until she changed history and made it happen. Carter's presence was the most legitimate in this room. Not hers.
She smiled the warmest smile given the whole situation. As for Barnes, all he seemed to be missing was a bag of popcorn.
'Natalie isn't like that,' Steve retorted gently but with an assured tone.
'There is no harm, Steve,' Natasha cut him off. 'Agent Carter is right. This isn't my place. I will give you some privacy until you have finished.'
She clutched her purse and went down her stool. She walked past Carter and both shared a smile which was less the expression of a mutual friendliness than the irrational satisfaction of making physical distance between them.