A/N: Here we go folks just as promised, the next update within 48 hrs ! Enjoy ! DM x
P.S Just a warning for any snowing fans out there, I would apologise for turning thier catchphrase into something Dark and twisted but... I'm really not lol !
Chapter 10
"I sent word to the kitchens earlier that would have lunch in the gardens. I hope this is OK?" Regina asked now unsure of her romantic gesture. Emma just smiled lovingly at her,
"That sounds perfect" Emma said happily as she intertwined her fingers with Regina's, as they continued to walk in the direction of the gardens. They walked hand in hand until they reached a small courtyard, at the centre of it sat a the most beautiful apple tree, Emma had ever seen. Emma was so in awe of the magnificent tree, she had yet to notice the small pinic later out beneath or the look of sheer joy in Regina's eyes at the reaction her tree evoked in Emma.
"This is my apple tree. I've tended to it since I was a child" Regina said as she walked over to the pinic blanket and sat down, waiting for Emma to join her. "I always seem to find myself here when I need time to think or just be alone" Regina started to explain nervously. Emma saw Regina's nervous statement for what if was, Regina was attempting to let her in and it filled Emma with love and warmth.
"It's beautiful Regina" Emma said in awe and began to study the tree more closely, finding two sets of initials carved into the bark surrounded by a heart. One set read R.M, the other had been scratched out, but you could just make it out. "Who's S.W ?" Emma asked, her voice full of intrigue and sparkling curiousity in her eyes.
"She's just someone I used to know" Regina muttered solemnly before gazing out into the distance. Emma was filled with compassion at the sight of the older woman struggling with her emotions as old memories were drawn to the surface. Emma realised in that moment, that there would be times when she would need to be the emotionally strong one in this relationship and even though she never imagined to have to play that role, she accepted the challenge. She wanted to be that person for Regina. Emma walked over and gently sat down next to Regina, who was now so lost in her painful memories that she didn't even registered Emma's presence until Emma tentatively held her hand.
"Will you tell me about her ?" Emma asked with gentle encouragement. Regina closed her eyes and let out a deep breath, before turning her gaze to look into curious yet supportive emerald eyes. Emma smiled and gave Regina's had a gently squeeze in encouragement.
"S.W stands for Snow White, she was my sister..". Regina said with little emotion as she began her story. Regina told Emma how she was two summers when they moved to the castle after her mother married King Leopold and first met Snow who had just turned thirteen summers, Leopold's daughter from his previous marriage and heir to his throne. She told Emma how Leopold was a kind and caring man, the only father Regina had ever truly known. Three years later, the king was dead, she was fatherless once more and the Queen was relishing her new position of power until Snow came of age. Tears began to well in Regina's eyes, as she stared into the horizon distractedly but Emma's quiet encouragement and support when she faltered, returned once more as she felt yet another gentle squeeze of her hand.
"Three weeks after the king's death Snow came to my room one night. She told me that she had to leave as she wasn't safe, because of mother. I didn't fully understand what she meant that night until many years later. I pleaded with her to stay or take me with her but she refused. She told me that she loved me and would return for me as soon as she could" Regina ground out, her inner rage stirred up by her memories making her shake slightly, Snow's betrayal still hurt Regina like it was yesterday. Regina's gaze fixed into a hard stare as she got up and began pacing. "A few days later my mother came to see me. She told me that Snow had killed our father, out of jealously, jealously caused by his love for me. She told me that Snow couldn't live with the guilt and shame of her actions and had killed herself that morning. I knew my mother was lying about my sister and I had absolute belief that she was coming back for me." Regina spat angerily before turning back to see watery emerald eyes filled with compassion and sympathy. Regina hated people feeling sorry for her no matter what intent what was behind it, it always provoked her anger and this time was no different.
"She never came back Emma." Regina growled bitterly. "Snow left me here." Regina's control finally broke as she collided her fist with the apple tree in a murderous rage. Emma got up slowly and walked over to where Regina was now stood panting, tears streaming down her face making Regina look every bit as broken as Emma knew she was. Although Regina's aggressive outburst unnerved Emma a little, she desperately wanted to comfort the older woman. She reached out and gently took Regina's busted fist into her hands, Regina's rage filled eyes watched in awe as Emma raised Regina's fist and gently kissed each of her bleeding Knuckle's. That simple act of kindness turned a raging monster into a broken emotional wreck leaving Regina a sobbing, shaking mess in Emma's arms.
"She left me here." Regina repeated falling deeper into Emma's embrace. "She left me here with a monster." Regina sobbed into Emma's chest, Emma just held her closer and tighter overcome by her own feelings of sympathy, pain, hurt and compassion for the broken woman in her arms. They stayed that way for a long time until Regina managed to regain some of her composure allowing Emma to guide her back to the blanket and finish thier lunch.
Once it was finished, they decided to go back to Regina's chamber's to freshen up before Regina showed Emma around the castle some more. They used one of the secret passageways Regina had discovered as a child with connected her private courtyard to the NW corridor where her rooms were located. They went that way to avoided anyone who might notice the evidence of the emotionally fragile state Regina had only just started to pull herself out of. Once they had freshened up and Regina looked every bit the Commander once more they began Emma's tour.
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The castle was abuzz with preparations for the festival, people were scurrying about everywhere and Emma found it uncomfortable and distracting as Regina lead her around a maze of rooms and corridors, a maze Emma knew she had no chance of remembering. Regina showed Emma the banquet hall, the war room, the kitchens, the ballroom, the council chambers, everywhere Regina deemed important enough that Emma know where they were in case she was summoned. They avoided the South Wing as that was where the Queen's rooms were located as well as Prince Henry's, although Henry would shortly be moving to the North Wing and closer to Regina's chambers. They finally ended thier tour at the West Tower.
During thier tour Emma's observations and impressions of the castle, left her feeling like the castle was overbearing with its beauty and grandure especially combined with its much darker, powerful, unnerving and somewhat terrifying undercurrent. In all Emma felt like she was suffocating, the darkness slowly sucking away the light. However the most interesting observations she made was on Regina's behaviour and the behaviour of those they saw or interacted with. Yes, Emma understood that Regina was the Dark Commander, and therefore was unsurprised how quickly Regina slipped back into that role once they left her chamber's, but Emma could still sense her Regina just under the surface. Regina walked round the castle with an air of dominance, the kind associated with with power and authority, but it was the way others behaved which intrigued her the most. Some reacted with respect, making it plainly obvious Regina was highly regarded and even revered by some. Others were nervous or just damn right scared of her. It made Emma feel uneasy as it reminded her just how complex Regina was. As a whole person Regina had many sides to her, some of which Emma knew she hadn't fully met or seen yet.
As they rounded the corner towards the doors of the West Tower, they were greeted by two guards. Regina paid no attention to them as she continued down the corridor, until one guard stepped in front of her and blocked her path.
"What is the meaning of this ?" Regina barked authoritively.
"I'm sorry Commander but Captain Jefferson has ordered that no one is to enter the West Tower until the festivities begin tomorrow evening." The guard stated matter of factly. Regina bore down on the man with the most menacing glare Emma had ever seen from the brunette until the guard shifted nervously.
"And does that include me ?" Regina asked threateningly, developing a wicked smile when the man glanced nervously at the other guard before stepping aside and allowing the two of them to pass.
"I'm sorry Commander." The guard said nervously before nodding his head to indicate they should enter. Regina stepped closer to the guard, invading his personal space and snarled into his ear.
"Do not test my patience again you patheic excuse for a soldier, as it will be the last thing you ever do." The man paled considerably, job done Regina led Emma through the doors before closing them behind them. They stopped a little way down the short corridor when they reached a stone spiral staircase. Regina explained to Emma that there were three floors in the West Tower, although most people referred to it as the Dark Tower. On the top floor was the Queen's vault, which was sealed and protected with blood magic, it was where Cora stored her most powerful magical items and also were she practiced most of her dark magic. On the second floor was a large room that Regina prayed Emma would never find herself in or even see for that matter. It was where Cora liked to indulge in her more sick, twisted and perverted aspects of her lifestyle, words like sadomasochism, bondage, torture and sexual depravity seemed fitting for the activities that often took place in that room and finally the ground floor was where the temple was located. As they continued towards the end of the corridor, Regina explained that Cora liked to pick and choose with deity's and gods to honour, depending on how they merged with her own wants and desires, never really believing in any of them. That's how they came to celebrate the festival of Baccas, an uncommonly known God whose worshippers died out hundreds of years ago, but it entwined perfectly with Cora's own sadist pleasures.
As they entered the temple Emma felt overwhelmed by its appearance and the atmosphere it created. Emma imagined this is what a sultan's harem might like like. There were various beds, sofas and loungers spread around the sides of the room, satin drapes were strung across the room tied to both the ceiling and the furniture, some providing privacy at least partially others seem to have no purpose at all except to be aesthetically pleasing. Silk sheets and an abundance of throw pillows, all black and red design covered the beds lavishly but it was the focual point if the room that held Emma's attention the most. There directly in the centre stood a large stone alter painstakingly carved from black obisdian, it was beautifully dark and imposing, power and fear echoed off it in waves. In truth it was how it was decorated that truly terrified Emma, placed on top was a thin mattress covered in rich white cotton sheets, that's when Emma had the horrific realisation that this is her place in all this, on top of the alter, the loss of her innocence for all to witness. Emma's heart started beating faster as all the colour drained from her face and she started to shake involuntarily. This was really happening...
Upto now Emma had tried not to think of it, already having convinced herself that her and Regina would find a way out of this, surely someone somewhere was going to help her. That belief died the moment she stepped into the room, now all that was left was the harsh and real truth. Regina had allowed Emma to study the room watching and gauging her reactions, she saw when Emma's curiousity turned into understanding and saw when Emma truly realised the gravity of the situation they found themselves in. Seeing the obvious state of distress Emma was now in, Regina gently guided her away from the centre of the room to the furthest bed from the alter, before gently sitting Emma down and kneeling in front of the young woman she felt so much for.
"Emma please look at me, we need to talk about this." Regina pleaded into distant emerald eyes filled with fear and hysteria. Regina desperate and distant voice called to Emma's inner strength, allowing it to finally push through the hysteria in her mind.
"We have to run !" Emma pleaded desperately, the adrenaline that invaded her system engaging her fight or flight response, despite her ongoing internal hysteria. The desparation in Emma's innocent tone, caused Regina's shattered heart to fracture into a million tiny pieces.
"I wish that was possible Emma but we both no we can't. Thier is no escaping from the Queen if she wants something from you. No matter where you hide or how far you run she will always find you." Regina said bitterly. "I'm sorry Emma but this is going to happen and there's nothing I can do to stop it." Regina's tone now full of remorse and self loathing. The truth in Regina's words felt like a knife slicing through Emma's soul, tears finally free to run down her face in torrent's. Regina got up from the floor and sat on the bed next to Emma, before gently pulling her into comforting arms, allowing the blonde to release the emotion she felt overwhelmed by, the reality of her situation more evident than it had ever been before. After a few moments Emma's sobs began to ease a little, a few moments after that, Regina felt Emma was ready to continue thier conversation.
"Emma there are some things I should warn you about. How much do you know about the festival of Baccas ?"Regina asked gently. Emma pulled away from Regina's comforting embrace, and wiped the few remaining tears from her face before replying.
"I know that Baccas is the God of sex and wine and I know that festivals held at the castle are well known throughout the kingdom as being indulgent and fantastical." Emma said thoughtfully before her thoughts turned a little darker. "And the Queen obviously intends to use me or should I say use my virginity as her offering." Emma added bitterly. Regina cringed at Emma's bluntness, shards of glass piecing her heart as if she was in the middle of a shrapnel explosion, even if Emma was just telling the truth. The only thing Regina could do now was make sure Emma was well informed about what would happen.
"Your right." Regina mused remisingly, "festivals at the castle are definitely over the top and extreme to most people." Regina allowed her mind to regress to the celebrations she had attended before, until the little voice in the back of her brain reminded her of the actual purpose of this conversation. "Well tomorrow will begin like any other festival held here at the castle. There will be lots of drinking, eating and dancing throughout most of the day. Then later in the evening, the members of the council, the Queen's magic circle and a few of her special friends will come to the temple to indulge in the more sexual and depraved aspects of the celebrations. At midnight is normally when the offering is made to Baccas, which those in the temple are obligated to bear witness too." Regina said her voice devoid of emotion, as it was just easier that way, to flick her emotional switch so she didn't have to feel but the switch didn't turn off her eyes. Emma saw the guilt, shame and self loathing in her soulmates eyes and realised that this whole experience was going to hurt Regina just as much as it was going to hurt her, maybe even more so.
"What exactly is going to happen to me Regina ?" Emma asked fearfully, desperately wanting to know the answer yet not really wanting to know either.
"Emma I promised to protect you as much as I could and I swear to you I will. I promise that no one will touch except me." Regina vowed with no hesitation and Emma wondered how Regina always knew what she was thinking.
"You can't promise that Regina." Emma said disbondiently. "What's to stop the Queen from changing her mind ?" Emma asked, beginning to get upset again at the thought of some unknown touching her, taking something that wasn't thiers to take.
"My mother wants to punish me for rescuing you, Emma. She's seen the way I look at you and knows that by making me perform this task will likely destroy all that's left of my compassion and humanity." Regina replied with bitter defeat. "That being said I still do not trust my mother which is why I intend to formally accept her proposition at the council meeting this evening. That way she is unable to change her mind or withdraw her proposition." Regina added hoping to ease some of Emma's fears. Regina already knew there was no way she would let anyone on this earth touch Emma in that way, not now she knew how much Emma meant to her, not now that Emma was hers. Emma wanted to believe her even though her mind was still in doubt, so just nodded quietly before seeking out comfort in Regina's arms once more. The silence gradually grew into the realms of uncomfortable especially as Emma's gaze had drifted back and fixed on the alter once more, until finally Regina couldn't take it anymore and disentangled herself from the woman wrapped up in her arms and stood up.
"Come Emma, let's not spend anymore time in this place than we must." Regina said compassionately as she held her hand out for Emma to take. Emma managed a weak smile as she took the offered hand and allowed Regina to led them back to her chamber's. Emma felt numb, no real thoughts or feelings just an emptiness like all the light and beauty had been hollowed out of her. Regina quietly led Emma back to her chamber's as Emma appeared to be in some sort of catatonic state that she just couldn't seem break through. Once there Regina sat Emma down on the sofa by the fire and knelt down in front of her, and Regina felt lost. Regina had no idea how to comfort the blonde woman before her as she had never comforted anyone before, her mother had drummed into her that to comfort another was a sign of weakness both for the comfort giver and the one needing to be comforted. Regina had no idea how to make any of this better or easier for the blonde, she just didn't know what to do or how to act, she felt useless and that was something the Commander never liked feeling.
"Emma, talk to me please." Regina said pleadingly. The desparation in Regina's voice broke through jolting Emma's mind back into the present with a burning question, a question that up until that moment had never entered her mind before.
"What will happen to me afterwards?" Emma asked curiously before adding "after the ceremony I mean" for clarification.
"I don't know." Regina replied quickly. It was true she didn't know what Cora had planned for Emma or the both of them once it was all over. Most of the girls Cora had used for such a purpose were left battered, bruised and broken and were often disposed of rather quickly. Those that didn't break were either put into Queen's personal service or were disgraced, branded as a whore and thrown out onto the streets to live a miserable and shamed existence but there was no way Regina was going to let that happen to Emma, she just couldn't.
"You're lying." Emma said challengingly. Regina knew her hands were tied she had no power or authority over Cora and although Regina loved Emma there was nothing that made Emma lawfully hers to own or protect, unless...
"Marry me." Regina said suddenly surprising both herself and Emma, who's eyes blew wide open and looked at Regina like a gaping idiot.
"What ?" Emma squeaked with shock. Regina realised that her sudden proposal had nearly given them both a heart attack, but Emma obviously more so.
"Emma I have no power or authority over what happens to you, the Queen can do as she pleases with you, and lawfully there is nothing I can do about it." Regina explained and smiled at the woman she loved when she saw understanding start to fill Emma's eyes. "I love you Emma, let me protect you the only way I can. Please marry me." Regina said her voice quivering with overwhelming emotion. Emma wasn't naive, she understood what it was Regina was doing for her by asking Emma to marry her, but Emma also knew it was much more than just Regina trying to protect her, Emma knew in her heart and soul that the Regina loved her and felt like this was just another step into thier journey of shared destiny. Emma stood and pulled Regina to her feet,
"Yes." Emma said genuinely.
"Really ? Are you sure Emma, I don't want to force you into anything, I'm not my mother." Regina said nervously. This was no way to propose to someone and had the situation been different she would of carefully planned it out, so it was perfect, romantic and truly meaningful. Emma took Regina's face in her hands and stared lovingly into Regina's eyes before responding,
"Yes, Regina I'm sure. I couldn't imagine being married to anyone else, there is no one else I would rather spend my life with." Emma stated with absolute belief before kissing Regina passionately. It wasn't long before passion and desire began racing through both of them, thier souls desperately pushing to form even deeper connections. As Regina lost herself in Emma's kiss, Emma gently manovered them to one of the chaise loungers, pushing Regina down until Emma straddled her lap, thier kiss never breaking but continuously deepening. Regina's desire for Emma was start to push at the limits of her self control and knew they had to stop before becoming unable to so. Emma pulled away breathlessly sensing the sudden shift in Regina, and looked at her nervously before placing Regina's hand over her left breast and held it in place.
"Please Regina, let me give myself to you now." Emma begged. At hearing the pleading and desparation in Emma's tone, virtually every part of Regina screamed at her to grant Emma's wish, to save the woman she loved the shame and pain on having to go through the ritual but knew if she did, she was signing both thier death sentences.
"I can't Emma." Regina said sorrowfully, pulling her hand away from Emma's breast and sunk further back into the lounger. "The Queen will execute us both for treason, and I will not be responsible for your death." Regina stated honestly.
"But what about if we are married ?" Emma asked hopefully.
"It would make no difference." Regina said bluntly. "Our marriage will only protect you after the festival and if my mother finds out beforehand, then again she would execute us or worse, for treason and disobience." Emma began to cry again, the events of the last few hours had left her feeling emotionally exhausted and even Regina's marriage proposal had barely dented the huge dark cloud she was suffercating in.
"Emma I'm so very sorry for my part in all this, I never wanted any of this to happen this way." Regina said gently pulling Emma into her arms once more before lying back down again.
"What do we do now ?" Emma asked between sobs.
"I don't know, I need to think." Regina said as pulled Emma more tightly against her body as Emma continued to quietly sob into her chest before eventually falling into an exhausted sleep leaving Regina alone to her thoughts as she held Emma protectively in her arms.