Regina tried not to yawn through yet another debate over which farmer owned what field. She was tempted to order that they simply fight for it. Preferably to the death. Of them both. She checked herself - wishing death on people was not exactly a good example to set to the child. Not that he was here. Or that it mattered. He was nothing, an orphan, he was for show...
"It is time for luncheon. If you two cannot decide between you how to share the land by tomorrow, I will take it as my own and neither of you will have it."
She strode from the room, swishing her long black skirt around her leather pants and knee high stiletto boots. A lot of being a queen was about the look. She poofed to the small room she and Henry used as a living room; she liked to give him more variety than the nursery. The table was ready, but Henry did not seem to be there yet.
Regina looked around the room. It was white, bright, a great contrast to most of the castle. There was a soft maroon carpet, comfortable chairs in brown leather, a small table... The general decor of the castle tended towards intimidating darkness and ominous size. Regina liked it in here because it was the opposite. She opened the large french windows and stepped out onto the balcony, closing her eyes at the sunshine on her skin.
"Mama?"
She turned, trying to locate the little voice. She spied Henry under the table. Chuckling, she went back inside and kneeled down to talk to him.
"Are you hiding, my prince?"
Henry looked around, checking to make sure they were alone.
"No," he whispered loudly. "I found something."
Regina found herself crawling under the table with him. In her tight corset, elaborate skirt, leather pants, incredibly impractical boots…
"What did you find?" she asked.
Henry pointed to a tiny bird, writhing on the ground, badly unjured. It was a bluebird. Regina hid her disgust and focused on Henry's worry.
"She's hurt," Henry said sadly.
Regina examined the bird.
"Yes, she appears to have a broken wing."
"Can we help her?"
Regina looked at the child, so pure and kind. To him, good was always the only option. She thought of other children she had seen, torturing small animals, taking pleasure in pain. She thought of herself only a few years ago, taking a similar kind of pleasure. This child would be her undoing. She began to say that the kindest thing to do would be to put the bird out of its misery, but to her horror, she heard herself changing her mind.
"Yes, Henry. We can."
She moved her hand over the bird, muttering a spell to put it to sleep. Then she lifted it in one hand, almost trembling at the feeling of its tiny, vulnerable body. She muttered another spell, mending the broken wing. Henry reached out and stroked her head.
"Is she better now?"
"Yes."
"Can we keep her?"
Regina paused. She wanted Henry to have everything he desired, but… Damn the boy, he always made her do the right thing!
"No, Henry. She is a bird, she should live outside. We must set her free."
"But I saw a book with a bird in a cage-"
Regina took Henry's hands with her free one, arranging them into a basket for the bird. Then she set the bird in them. Henry gasped.
"I can feel her heart. It's so fast."
"That's because, even in her sleep, she is afraid. Tell me, Henry, would you like to live in a cage?"
Henry shook his head vehemently.
"Nobody should be trapped. Not people, and not birds."
Regina hauled herself out from under the table with as much dignity as was possible, and watched Henry as he carried the bird.
"Let's go outside, then I'll wake her up and you can let her go."
Henry looked as if he might protest, but then he looked down at the bird.
"Okay little bird," he said to her. "Time to fly away."
Regina led him outside, then gently woke the bird up. It stretched out its wings, let out a panicked squawk, then launched itself into the sky.
Henry watched it fly away, looking very solemn.
"Maybe she'll come back and visit," he said hopefully. Regina smiled at him.
"Maybe she will. Come on, let's wash up and then have lunch. I'm hungry!"
Henry rubbed his stomach in agreement and they went inside, washing their hands in a basin of water Regina conjured, then sitting down to eat.
"Why do people keep birds in cages?" Henry asked.
Regina thought about how to phrase her answer. Somehow it seemed to be about a lot more than birds. When she thought of caging them, locking up beautiful creatures for the pleasure of others, she couldn't help but think of her marriage, the way she was raised… She had been a beautiful thing, to be owned, to be trapped, to bring pleasure to others with the way she looked.
"Because… Because birds are very beautiful, and very sweet, and there are many people who wish to have such things on show. They think that owning a caged bird will bring beauty to their lives. But it does not really work. Perhaps they will create the appearance of beauty around them, but their life cannot truly be beautiful when it is built upon the pain of another. Henry, you… Will you promise me something?"
Henry nodded. Regina knew he could not possibly understand everything she was saying. He was three! But his eyes were so serious, so wise… She took his hand in hers, getting a feeling similar to when she held the bird.
"Promise me you will never trap anything, anyone, in a cage?"
Henry nodded again. "I promise," he said. Regina kissed his forehead.
"Good boy."
"Have you ever been in a cage, Mama?"
Regina's eyes widened at the question. It was so odd… It suggested such inference on his part.
"Yes," she told him. "Many, many years ago. But that was a little different… I was in a cage called a prison, and I was there because I… Because I did some bad things. I was put in a cage to stop me from doing any more."
"You were so bad they had to keep you in a cage?" Henry asked, horrified. Regina frowned, but nodded.
"Yes. I was very bad."
"Worse than coming downstairs without your trousers on? Or stealing chocolate from the kitchen?"
These were Henry's latest misdemeanors, though both had been months ago. Regina had to hold back a smile. "Much, much worse, my dear."
Henry seemed a little relieved. "Why did you do them?" he asked.
"I was very unhappy. That is not an excuse. But I was hurt… And I took my hurt out on other people."
"Are you sorry?"
Regina bit her lip. Until that moment, she had not been sure. "Yes, Henry. I am very sorry."
"Then it's okay," he said, smiling at her. "If you're sorry, and you won't be bad again."
Regina looked into his big, forgiving eyes. If only the rest of the world could see her the way he did. In her heart, she did not feel like a bad person. She would never forgive herself for the things she had done, the people she had hurt, the people she had killed. But when she searched her soul, she wanted to be good. She didn't know how, and she would throw herself off the highest turret of the castle if she ended up like the insipid Snow White, but…
Henry looked at her as if she could save the world. He didn't see the make up, the black, the leather, the wicked smile. He saw her. And she wanted that.
"You are a wonderful boy," she told him. Henry giggled.
"Can we go see the horses now?"
Regina ran through the outbuildings, keeping her pace slow enough for Henry to almost catch her.
"Come back, beast!" he squealed. "I'm going to catch you!"
Regina turned and ran backwards, slowing until Henry could cannonball into her legs. He held on tightly.
"And now that you have caught me, what do you intend to do with me?" she asked through her laughter. Henry thought about it.
"Eat you!" he said. Regina grinned, unhooking his arms and lifting him up to whirl him in the air.
"Eat me? But I am the beast. What if I eat you?"
Henry pretended to scream as Regina brought him to her hip and tickled him.
"Yum, yum. Henrys are so tasty."
She glanced up at the sky. The sun was setting, he should be in bed, but she couldn't bring herself to let him go when he was so wide awake and playful.
"No, please don't eat me," Henry said through his giggles. Regina relented, hugging him close.
"I suppose I am rather too fond of you to eat you just yet," she said. He grabbed her nose.
"Ever. I know you won't eat me. Your nose is growing like Pokey-oh."
"Pinocchio?"
"Yeah. You told me the story."
"You are quite right, I did. I-"
She paused. She had been walking towards the castle but a flicker of movement caught her eye. The castle had always seemed safe, but a royal's life was never without risk.
"Come out, I command you," she said. She and Henry watched as a guilty looking blonde peeped out from behind the woodshed.
"It's only me," Emma said awkwardly.
"Miss Swan," Regina said, holding Henry more tightly.
"Mama, who's that?" Henry asked.
Regina motioned for Emma to come closer.
"This is Miss Swan. Miss Swan, this is Henry."
Emma shook the hand Henry held out to her.
"It is a pleasure to meet you," she told him. She looked Regina up and down.
"I'm loving the outfit," she said.
Regina was wearing brown pants, old riding boots, and a loose white shirt. She had been planning to change before Emma arrived. Her long hair was loose around her shoulders. Henry tugged on it.
"Who is she?" he asked, worried.
"She is a friend of mine."
Henry narrowed his eyes at Emma, then looked back at Regina. "But I am your best friend," he told her. Regina laughed.
"Yes, dear. You are my very best friend. And now it is time for you to go to bed."
Henry let out a long suffering sigh.
"Will you play with me again tomorrow?"
Regina tapped his nose.
"I will."
She led the way inside; Emma followed, feeling a lot like a third wheel. Regina set Henry down and turned to Emma.
"I will not be long. Do you mind waiting in my chambers?"
Emma smiled. "Not at all. You're the boss, Your Majesty."
Regina didn't know if she found Miss Swan's informal way of speaking infuriating or endearing.
"Goodnight, Henry," Emma told the little boy. He turned to her, evaluating her. Emma didn't know why, but she was desperate for him to like her.
"Goodnight, Miss Swan," he whispered. Emma chuckled. He was like Regina, his confidence masking his shyness.
"Will you sing?"
Emma pressed herself against the door, looking through the keyhole. She had heard the chaotic signs of a mother trying to get her child ready for bed, and she hadn't been able to stop herself from following them.
"Which song would you like?"
"The one without words," Henry said.
Regina patted the covers and stroked the boy's hair. She immediately knew the one he meant. She began to hum the familiar lullaby. It was somehow both happy and sad at the same time. Regina had never been sung to as a child. She had first heard it watching a peasant mother lull her baby to sleep. After that she had begun to hum it to herself, curled up in a ball in her dark little room, transporting herself to a world of dreams where all hope was not yet lost.
She only had to hum it twice before Henry was fast asleep. She kissed his cheek.
"Goodnight, my sweet, sweet boy," she whispered. Then she got up and left the room.
Emma scrambled away from the door, but she wasn't fast enough for Regina not to guess what she had been up to.
"I… You are wonderful with your son," Emma said, blushing.
Regina touched her elbow, an automatic gesture to show she was not overly offended at the intrusion.
"He is not my son," she said.
Emma looked at her questioningly.
"He is my ward," Regina explained.
Emma looked back in the direction of Henry's room. "He seems like your son. He even calls you Mama."
Regina chuckled. "He is not supposed to. But for some reason, he is quite determined."
"If he's an orphan, as his guardian, you're the closest thing to a mother he will ever have. He might as well address you that way."
Regina nodded. She knew it. There was no way for her to be legally any more his parent than she already was. He was already her heir, though no one but her most personal adviser knew that yet.
"I suppose it is hard for anyone to consider the Evil Queen as a suitable mother."
"You seem like a wonderful one. Better than mine, for sure."
Regina raised her eyebrows.
"Care to elaborate?"
They had reached her room now. Emma leaned down and kissed Regina's neck; the Queen was endearingly tiny without her heels.
"No…"
Regina allowed herself to be kissed, then half carried to the bed.
"I missed you today," Emma said.
Regina pushed her back.
"I do not care for this… Pretense. You do not have to say such things."
"I'm not pretending. I really did."
Regina's eyes seemed to change colour as her desire overtook her mind. She pivoted so that Emma fell onto the bed beneath her.
"Then, I missed you too," she said. "I have been curious all day."
Emma gasped as Regina kissed her neck, their positions entirely reversed.
"May I?" Regina asked, cocking an eyebrow.
"Hey, you're paying," Emma reminded her. Regina smiled ruefully.
"I am. But I do not want to unsettle any boundaries."
Emma reached up, stroking Regina's cheek with the back of her hand.
"To be completely honest, you already have. And it's the most fun I've had in years."
Regina held on to Emma's hand, kissing her fingers.
"This will sound ridiculously condescending, but… Why do you do this?"
"You mean, why am I a hooker?"
Regina gripped the fingers more tightly, but nodded.
Emma looked up at the ceiling. "I needed the money. I hated it at first, but then I got better at it… And everybody sells themselves. Most people sell their bodies in some way, even. At least like this it's on my terms."
"Do you ever consider a change of career?"
Emma met Regina's eyes, having successfully pushed down her emotions.
"Did you have one in mind?"
Regina shrugged, sending a shiver through Emma's body as the movement impacted her hips. Regina was straddling her; she felt it too and chuckled.
"I suppose I was thinking about my own life. I am a Queen. I was an Evil Queen. And before that… Well, I suppose you know the story. And now I am becoming a mother. Change is always possible."
Emma nodded. "I agree. I… I used to feel so trapped. I was always waiting for a knight in shining armour to come rescue me. But when I found him… Well, turns out knights in shining armour aren't always that great. And then… Then I realised, I had to rescue myself, make my own way, make my own happiness."
"And now? Are you happy, Miss Swan?"
Emma grinned, her eyes twinkling. "I will be when you take your shirt off."
Regina decided to let it go. Emma was not about to reveal herself to anyone. She took off her shirt, tantalisingly slowly, then gave in and magicked away the rest of their clothes.
A/N: The lullaby I have in mind is Brahms' Lullaby. Brahms in general is a total babe. Thank you all SO MUCH for the interest in this story. Keep it coming! Especially reviews. Let me know if you want this scene or not - I'm a story over sex person, but I guess it's Regina's first girl so it could count as character development..? I'll put it like this - if you want porn, you have to ask for it *wink*.