A/N: Hello everybody! Lily here ;) So this was inspired by the song Razor Blade from my absolute favorite country singer, Luke Bryan. I listened to it and it was practically screaming "Chat Noir's feelings for Ladybug" at me. So I had to write this. I recommend listening to the song, but you certainly don't have to ;)
Rating: T. Mentions of blood, suicidal thoughts, potential triggers, stuff along those lines.
Disclaimer: I do not own Miraculous Ladybug, or the song Razor Blade. All rights go to their respective owners.
"Razor Blade"
You're not looking for anything more than a
Good time and an open door.
A good band and a dance floor
Then she walks in.
You got a pickup line to throw, but
She walks up and says "Hello".
Before you can even let it go
She's got you reeled in.
Chat Noir bounded across the rooftops, feeling free for the first time in his life. At first, leaping across tall buildings where any misstep meant falling to your death was pretty scary, but once he got used to it there was no stopping him.
He ran faster, his heart pounding in his chest as the wind whipping through his blonde hair, making his perfectly groomed hair wild and messy. His own laughter was like music to his ears.
Eventually, he slid to a stop. The smile on his face could not be matched. He was a super hero! The weird cat thing named Plagg had outlined his powers briefly before Adrien had transformed. Now he was really excited! This meant freedom from his father and his life! This was a way to help people instead of being stuck on a pedestal far above them.
He stood up to keep running when he had an idea. Pulling his metal baton off of his back, he elongated it between two buildings. Then he gingerly set a foot onto it. This was probably a really stupid idea, but Chat was too caught up in the glory of his newfound freedom to care. He took several more steps along the baton, wobbling a bit.
Suddenly, he heard a noise. Turning his head, he saw a girl in a red and black polka dotted suit swinging across the rooftops with a yoyo. This must be the partner that Plagg had told him about! He watched as she got closer, mesmerized as he saw her face close up. She was beautiful!
He was about to cat call to get her attention (pun intended), but suddenly she seemed to lose control of her yoyo. Chat Noir watched in horror as she spun through the air and crashed against him, knocking him off of his baton. The two fell towards the fast approaching earth.
Chat squeezed his eyes shut, but right before they hit the ground, he felt a wire wrap around him and he was slammed against the girl. They jerked to a halt, dangling upside down a few feet above the ground.
He grinned at her and she blushed, hurriedly trying to untangle them. And get out of that awkward position. Their faces were so close that he could count every freckle on her rosy cheeks. And then he looked into her eyes and he knew he was a lost cause.
You can't escape it if you wanted to.
You don't know what you got yourself into.
_
After two years of akuma attacks, being Chat Noir, and working with Ladybug, Adrien didn't know what to do with himself anymore.
He loved her too much. He knew that. He told himself that. Plagg told him that. But he couldn't help it. It was like he was stumbling around in the dark, searching for the light. And she was his salvation. But he knew she wasn't interested in him. He knew that and yet he still pursued her! He knew one day reality would call and she'd turn him down for real.
She'd never turned him down before… Because he'd never confessed or asked her out. He knew one day it would come out, and then he would have to listen to her kindly attempt to explain that she didn't love him in the same way. Loving her was slowly killing him, and he knew one day he would realize it.
You're blindfolded
Walking south down the whiskey tracks.
She's rolling north like a neon train.
Bolt of lightning in the night
Speed of light, you won't realize
You've been struck 'til you see the flame.
But every time she smiles at him, every time her fist bumps against his after a job well done, every time she scratches his chin or pets his head… It tears him apart. Bit by bit, gesture by gesture, smile by smile. She doesn't know what she's doing to him. She doesn't mean to do it. He knows she doesn't.
But she is. Every word that leaves her lips rips a bit of his heart and takes it with them. Every smile she flashes him plunges the knife a little deeper. Every time their eyes meet and he sees those gorgeous blue eyes sparkling with adrenaline and ideas and hidden secrets. It cuts him to pieces and leaves him a bleeding mess… The sharp edges sawing his heart like a razor blade.
Her smile will slash you to the heart
There you are in the back of a bar
Bleeding, but you feel no pain.
She won't cut you like a knife, like a knife
That little look in her eyes will
Cut you like a razor blade.
You ain't
Used to playing by these rules.
So you sit there and try to play it cool.
Do your best not to play the fool.
But it's too late now.
He can't do this.
He doesn't know how to do this.
He flirts, he makes stupid puns and corny comments. It's all a cover. He doesn't know how to let her know how much he loves her. He's Adrien Agreste! He's a super model on the front cover of every fashion magazine in Paris! He's used to getting whatever he wants. And he's not a spoiled brat because of it; he's just never really had to ask for anything.
He tries to impress her. He tries to do his best to get her to notice him. He is not really sure how to do it. He does his job. He throws in a few cool moves. He continues to flirt. He continues to make puns.
You wanna see how far she'll let you go
She'll let you think you're in control
Every so often, she'll laugh a little at a pun. Or she'll shake her head at a cheesy pickup line, but she won't brush him off. It's the moments like these that Chat lives for. The few seconds when he thinks maybe he finally got to her. Those few seconds of success!
He often gets cocky, pushes a little harder. He wants to see how far she'll let him go. He wants to see where he can get. And then she pushes him back. She crushes his hopes. They finish the job, the purified akuma flutters away, and Ladybug leaves. She takes his heart with her.
You're blindfolded
Walking south down the whiskey tracks.
She's rolling north like a neon train.
Bolt of lightning in the night
Speed of light, you won't realize
You've been struck 'til you see the flame.
Another day, another akuma attack. This one was really dangerous. It was a circus performer who threw knives at moving targets. Apparently, he had missed several targets in his last show and was made fun of for it. Now he was throwing sharp daggers at people, trying to prove that he could hit the target.
She was about to get hit. She had to re-locate Alya to keep her safe and Ladybug wasn't guarding her back. The akumatized person took aim and let the sharp metal fly through the air.
Chat Noir saw red. His vision went dark, except for one patch of light shining around Ladybug. Get to Ladybug. Protect Ladybug. He launched himself towards her, taking the hit. The knives buried themselves into his flesh. He skidded across the ground and landed on his stomach, the knives shaking loose from his side.
At first he didn't feel any different. It hurt, but everything was groggy and blurry. He heard Ladybug scream his name, but he couldn't answer. He brought his hands up to his face. They were covered with red sticky blood.
Suddenly, he was aware of someone over him. Even through the blurry pain, he could make out Ladybug's concerned face. And was she... crying?
"No Ladybug, don't cry! I didn't mean to make you cry!" he thought desperately. He couldn't bear seeing her like this. He couldn't feel the pain anymore. All he could see was the tears rolling down her cheeks.
"La'bug, I'll be'kay," he slurred. "Go an get th'akuma."
She smiled sadly down at him, and it tore him apart inside and made him hurt even more. "Okay Chat. I'll beat him. I'll beat him just for you. You'll be okay. Just stay with me!" He nodded.
Later, after the akuma was defeated, she had given him a hug and then immediately chastised him for taking a hit. After he promised never to do it again (with his fingers crossed behind his back, of course) she left, a few stray tears running down her face.
She didn't need to know that he was still hurting. Miraculous Cleanse had fixed the physical pain, but not his bleeding heart.
Her smile'll slash you to the heart.
There you are in the back of a bar,
Bleeding, but you feel no pain.
She won't cut you like a knife, like a knife.
That little look in her eyes, will
Cut you like a razor blade.
_
You can't escape it if you wanted to.
You don't know what you got yourself into.
Chat Noir loved Ladybug. He loved her. That's what Alya said, that's what the citizens of Paris said. That's what Chat Noir himself said. He loved her, and she was killing him.
Every glance.
Every smile.
Every laugh.
Every gesture.
Every hug.
Every rooftop race.
Every time he saw her.
It was killing him. It was slow, it was gradual. He knew it wouldn't be long until he couldn't take it anymore. She didn't know. She couldn't know. Because if he told her and she turned him down? It would be the finishing straw. He would have no reason to live anymore. He could throw himself off of the top of the Eiffel Tower and feel the wind through his hair. He'd leave his baton at the top. He wouldn't have to regret the sudden stop at the bottom.
You're blindfolded
Walking south down the whiskey tracks.
She's rolling north like a neon train.
Bolt of lightning in the night
Speed of light, you won't realize
You been struck 'til you see the flame.
But every time he sees her, she gives him a purpose.
A mission.
Life.
Freedom.
Love.
He needed it, and she was the only one who gave it to him. Sure, she loved him because they were partners. They were best friends. But he loved her so much more than that.
It was a peaceful night. Chat Noir and Ladybug had just finished patrolling. The night was still young, and the breeze that floated across the sky cooled them off. Chat cheekily challenged Ladybug to a race. She agreed, telling him he'd regret it.
Running across the rooftops, two teenagers with the weight of the world on their shoulders. They eventually collapsed on a rooftop, laughing and leaning on each other.
Ladybug turned to Chat and smiled, her laughter music to his ears.
It cut him to pieces every time.
But he didn't care.
Because even though his heart was being torn to pieces, she was the one who picked them up and put them back together.
Each jagged piece was replaced with her delicate hands, fitting perfectly together like a jigsaw puzzle. Every piece went into the right place. Why? Because his heart wasn't clean cut by a knife. It was cut with a razor blade.
Her smile'll slash you to the heart.
There you are in the back of a bar.
Bleeding, but you feel no pain.
She won't cut you like a knife, like a knife
That little look in her eyes will
Cut you like a razor blade,
She won't cut you like a knife, like a knife.
That little look in her eyes will
Cut you like a razor blade.
Cut you like a razor blade.
She cuts you like a razor blade.