CHAPTER 2

Thoughts

Percy lay on his bead, his head resting comfortably on his pillow as his eyes stared into the ceiling, but he wasn't really looking, he was thinking. Specifically about that morning. After an endless talk with Chiron and Annabeth, and a late breakfast, he was already exhausted. He needed to collect himself and sort through his emotions, in a way that wouldn't cause another meltdown like that morning.

Talking had really helped, even though it was tough and embarrassing to talk about his nightmares to Chiron. It helped that Annabeth was there too. What Chiron had told them though, that was the part that he wanted to reflect on and sort through.

So he went back to the beginning and replayed the memories of the talk.
It had started with them telling Chiron their recurring nightmares and sleepless nights. That spiraling into the daily stress, flashbacks, and overwhelming emotions they sometimes experienced. After pouring out every agonizing detail about what they had been silently enduring for the past two months, Chiron sat back and thought for a moment before finally speaking.

He told them that what they were experiencing was very common among other campers, specifically younger ones and ones who had lost friends. He told them that he was sorry for them, that they were too young to carry these emotional burdens, too young to be involved in any of this. For a few moments, Percy thought he saw the ghosts of tears in the camp director's eyes.

The next part had been the worst; he spoke with each of them individually. Percy didn't want to leave Annabeth's support, but he knew he had to face his problems. This was the hardest and most complicated for Percy to recall, he didn't want to think about what Chiron had said, he wanted to pretend there was a better solution to his problems. But he forced himself to relay it back, word for word, to really face what he had been told. Percy, I wanted to talk to you alone, because this part is very personal.

Percy had nodded, waiting for his next words.

At your age, what you're dealing with is not normal, and your body and mind can't handle the stress of something so catastrophic. I'd say that what you and Annabeth are experiencing is shock, and possibly PTSD, but there are some other parts that are a bit more complicated. For one thing, those dreams of Tartarus don't seem like shock memories, because they recur so often. This is only a guess, but I'd have to say that those dreams are being sent by the lord of the pit himself, as retribution for escaping.

And I wouldn't say that's the worst of it either, he continued, I think these dreams are a warning, a sign that Tartarus is seeking revenge. You may not have realized it, but he is preying on your fatal flaw. Those dreams of battle, those flashbacks, are taunting you where you are most vulnerable. He wants to weaken you, to degrade everything that you worked towards.

Percy thought about what this meant. It was true, the more he thought about it, his dreams were always targeting him where he felt the weakest and the guiltiest. Maybe it wasn't as simple as post war shock, maybe it was all intentional.

In a strange way, this almost made him feel the slightest bit better, because it meant that he wasn't doing this to himself, his torment was coming from somewhere, someone, and that meant he could stop it.
He continued the conversation in his head. I know it might not mean much to you right now, but you have to trust me when I say this. You did everything you could have done. You saved the world from doomsday twice, you fought against creatures that even the gods fear. You are one of the most powerful demigods of all time. Everything we and the rest of humanity had ever worked for would have been destroyed if it weren't for you and the others.

But this is the most important part Percy, no matter how hard you try, no matter how great you are, you cannot always save everyone. In battles like these, there will always be casualties. But these were not in vain. You prevented dozens of deaths with your skills, but you cannot be everywhere all at once. Those campers died defending the world they loved. We will remember them with honor.

Percy felt tears sting his eyes. You are an amazing demigod, Percy. You have been through so much, and I hate to see you in this state. I think it would be for the best if you took some time away; maybe spent some time with your mother and Paul, or tried going back to school with Annabeth. Anything to detach yourself from this, to give you a break. The camp will be fine without you, he said, noticing the protest Percy was working up, do not protest, you have earned a break. Tomorrow, ill arrange transport for you and keep an eye out for anything in your area. Don't worry about being on guard for monsters, I'll have someone keep watch for you. Sort through your emotions, and see if it helps.
 So here he was, half an hour later and still feeling awful. While trying to sort through some of the dreams to see what meaning they held, like Chiron had suggested, he had a weighing feeling that these nightmares and flashbacks would plague him for a long, long time. He felt like he couldn't carry on; like there was an empty space in his head that should have been filled with purpose, but was instead filled with confusion and sadness. If only it was as easy as taking a break, he thought. But he knew, deep down inside, that there was something in him that was gone, and he would never be the same again.

And what about his mother? Chiron had said that he had filled Sally and Paul in on the major details, but had left the personal stuff for Percy to explain. He felt another wave of guilt as he remembered how he had neglected his calls home, the must be worried sick about him. It would be so hard though, so hard to relay all the details to them and see the expressions on their faces. Really, it just made him sad, to think about how his mom would react to his trip to the underworld.

Chiron had said that he would post a guard for Percy, and that give him mixed emotions. He would never really completely let his guard down, probably for the rest of his life. Certainly not after recent events. More small waves of guilt hit him as he realized these other demigods might have to fight off monsters just so he could have a break. He remembered internally scowling when Chiron had mentioned his greatness. I would rather be a normal mortal than have all the power I have now, he thought. It's not a privilege, it's a curse.

He resigned himself to the fact that he would have to at least attempt Chiron's plan, even with his many doubts. With a sigh he swung his legs over the side of the bed and packed his few belongings, before setting out for dinner.

The large crescent moon cast a shadow across the grounds of the camp, as everything lay still. He moved quickly, quietly, as if he was one with the shadows. His dark clothes kept him hidden even more, and after all his shadow traveling practice, he practically felt like a shadow as he stealthily crept across the lawn and up the steps of the Big House. Sure that what he sought lay within, he slid the door open silently and entered the threshold with bated breath.

Doubts crept into his mind, but he dismissed them, thinking that he would find what he was looking for, investigate it, and leave without anyone noticing him. He had hours before anyone would set foot near him.

There it was, pushed aside where Chiron had set it earlier that day. Nico hesitated for a second, remembering his first encounter with the stone, and Chiron. He had never seen the camp director so angry before, but he had never been so entranced a curious about something before either. His curiosity won out, whether that was good or bad, and he set his fears aside before slowly opening the box. The soft amber glow reached his widening eyes as he stared into its glowing depths and voices filled his mind.

She was there again, Bianca. Her voice rang loud and clear, urging him to touch it, to bring her back. This time, Nico had no hesitation. With a small smile, he remembered all his dreams of bringing her back just to talk and be with her again, like it should have been. He could have someone to talk to and trust again, someone to give him advice about Will even….

His hand touched the surprisingly cool surface, and chaos exploded in his body. A burning, searing sensation ran through his body like fire, and his vision went dark. The voice of his sister suddenly changed into a harsh, evil laugh that terrified him to the core. He screamed and vaguely felt the sensation of falling, of his head hitting the floor, and then his senses faded, and everything was black.

A/N

Here's the new and improved second chapter! I'm going to delete the original later, but if you want a reference point of what I changed, feel free to go check it out before it gets deleted. Also sorry about the weird layout with the new chapters, hopefully I'll get back to where I left off soon.

Just a side note, I'm going to try to stay away from writing anything too angst-y, and I'm also going to be staying away from writing about depression/PTSD because I haven't experienced those, so I don't want to miss-portray them or offend anyone who does have it. This will probably be the angsti-est chapter I write.

Thanks for the feedback! Reviews are really appreciated!